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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

6 11 2017

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ACCORDING TO Charles Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees. For Isaac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest. Chickens in motion tend to cross roads. While Martin Luther King Jr. said: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

As for some famous and infamous Filipinos of today, here’s how they answered the age-old question: Why did the chicken cross the road?

20: Sara Duterte: Pupunta sa rally. Sangkot ‘yan sa destabilization plot!

19: Manny Pacquiao: Para mangitlog. Sabi kasi sa Genesis 1:22 Let the birds multiply on the earth. ‘Di naman sinabing, “Let the birds subtraction on the earth,” ‘di ba? Amen!

18: Ka-DDS: Dilawan ang kinginang hindot na manok na ‘yan. Papansin! Sana pala nasagasaan na lang ang hayop na ‘yan para mamatay na! We love you Tatay Digong! Petmalu ka talaga! Lodi! #Godblessed

17: PBA Commissioner Chito Narvasa: Suddenly, parang ang laking isyu ng pag-apruba ko sa pagtawid ng manok. I have always been fair. Kung inyong matatandaan, inaprubahan ko rin noon ang pagtawid ng aso at pusa.

16: Salvador Panelo: To fuck like an 18-year-old.

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15: Bato de la Rosa: ‘Pag ako ang naging presidente, ipagpapagawa ko ng sariling kalsada ang mga manok!

14: Sen. Antonio Trillanes: Ayon sa aking source, may mga sikretong pugad ang manok na ‘yan sa kabilang side ng kalsada.

13: Paolo Duterte: I refuse to answer. No way!

12: Richard Gordon: Katulad ng sinabi ko sa committee report, walang matibay na ebidensya to conclude na tumawid nga ang manok!

11: Ombudsman Conchita Carpio Morales: We will investigate. This Office shall proceed with the probe as mandated by the Constitution. If the chicken has nothing to hide, it has nothing to fear.”

10: Imee Marcos: Anong alam ko d’yan eh ang liit-liit ko pa noong tumawid ang manok na ‘yan.

9: Harry Roque: Binato ko ng hollow blocks. Ang ingay eh.

8: Alan Peter Cayetano:

7: Tito Sotto: Sabi nga ni Manny, mangingitlog ang manok kaya tumawid. At napag-alaman ko ring marami na palang naging sisiw ‘yan. Kapag maraming sisiw pero single, ang tawag doon ay ‘na-ano lang.’

6: Vitaliano Aguirre: Ayon sa affidavit ng mga nakakulong na tandang, pakana ni De Lima ang pagtawid ng manok!

5: Philippine News Agency: At press time, ito pa lamang ang nakakalap naming impormasyon tungkol sa isyu:

1ChickenPNA

4: Sen. Leila De Lima: Hindi po dapat kinukuwestyon ang ginawa ng manok. Walang batas na nagbabawal sa pagtawid nito. Anumang pagsupil sa kagustuhan nitong makatawid ay malinaw na paglabag sa karapatang panghayop.

3: President Duterte: Adik ang manok na ‘yan. Alam niyang may mga dumadaang sasakyan tapos tatawid siya? Eh ‘di adik ang putang inang ‘yan!

2: Mocha Uson: Malinaw pong kasalanan ni Leni Robredo kung bakit napilitang tumawid ang manok. Napakaluwang po ng sidewalk kung saan siya pwedeng mag-abang ng bus papuntang Bicol. Pero anong ginawa niya? Doon siya nag-abang sa kinatatayuan ng manok; kaya ang kawawang chicken, tumawid! Eh kung nasagasaan ‘yon? Napakawalanghiya po talaga ng babaeng ito. Kahit kailan, bobo! Mga Ka-DDS, paki-share ng picture na ito.

1Leni

And lastly, why did the chicken cross the road?

1: Martin Andanar: Para umiyot. Kulang kasi sa iyot ‘yan kaya putak nang putak.
___________________________________________________________________________
“When injustice becomes law, resistance becomes duty.”
~Thomas Jefferson

In Other News…
A raid conducted at the condo unit of Diana Uy, daughter of convicted drug queen Yu Yuk Lai, near Malacañang, yielded some 10 million pesos worth of shabu. The raiding team then discovered that Uy’s security detail was a member of the PNP Security and Protection Group (PSPG). ATM: Malacañang’s spin doctors are figuring out a way to link De Lima and the LP to the police officer.

Damage
Palace spokesman Harry Roque said Chief Justice Maria Lourdes Sereno should step down “to spare the Supreme Court from any further damage.” If Roque wanted the public to believe he’s genuinely concerned, he should advise his boss to step down to spare this nation from any further ruin.

Drop
According to the latest SWS survey, fewer Filipinos believe President Duterte can fulfill his promises. From 52 percent in June, it dropped to 37 percent in September. The survey was conducted from Sept. 23 to 27, using face-to-face interviews of 1,500 adults 18 years old and above. The survey question was “Tulog ka pa rin ba?”

Sound Bites
“Despite the personal attacks against Sereno and her being the Chief Justice, she remains committed to fulfilling her duties as the highest magistrate in the land.”
~Chief Justice Maria Lourdes Sereno’s lawyers on Harry Roque’s resignation call

Hold on.

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: Philippine News Agency; Philippine Star]

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PARA SA EKONOMIYA!

22 08 2015

farsidechickenIIa-01-1200x851
THE AGE-OLD question answered again by famous Filipinos: Why did the chicken cross the road?

President Aquino: “Ok lang. Buhay pa naman ang manok ‘di ba?

Sen. Grace Poe: “Upang ipagpatuloy ang mga nasimulan ni FPJ.”

Vice President Binay: “Eh kasi nga mga palpak, mga manhid ang nag-aalaga! Pinabayaan lang tumawid ang manok!”

Sen. Chiz Escudero: “Huwag po nating pangunahan ang manok sa pagpapaliwanag. May sarili pong isip ‘yan at hindi nadidiktahan.”

DOTC Sec. Joseph Abaya: “Hindi naman siguro fatal ang pagtawid.”

Mayor Rodrigo Duterte: “Subukan ng manok na ‘yan na dito tumawid sa Davao. Patay sa akin ‘yan!”

Sec. Mar Roxas: “Meron nang lane para sa mga manok. Sign ‘yan ng economic activity.”

Iglesia Ni Cristo: “Patunay lamang po ‘yan na malayang nakalalabas ang manok. Hindi totoong hinostage namin ‘yan!”

Pabebe Girls: “Hello! Kami ang Pabebe Girls at wala kaming pakialam kung tumawid man ang manok na ‘yan.”

#AlDub: “Malalaman natin kung bakit… sa tamang panahon.”

Sophia Love: “Para sa ekonomiya!”

***

1ABAYATraffic
The construction of the LRT-2 extension will start next month. When asked about the looming traffic congestion, DOTC Sec. Jun Abaya said, “Hindi naman siguro fatal ‘yan.” As opposed to the next elections which may be fatal to Abaya’s Senate ambition.

On the expected heavy traffic next month when the construction of the LRT-2 extension starts, DOTC Sec. Jun Abaya said, “Hindi naman siguro fatal ‘yan.” Netizens described Abaya’s statement as “insensitive.” Others said it was “unsympathetic.” The President said, “Linya ko ‘yon eh. Gaya-gaya!”

1Recto_InquirerFalse Claims
Rappler.com discovered that Sen. Ralph Recto has falsely claimed in his official online curriculum vitae that he has two masters degrees. The posted achievements were not true after all. Apparently, his online resumé was uploaded from a stall at Recto.

When Rappler asked Ralph Recto to explain, the senator immediately apologized. A gesture he should have also done a long time ago when he pushed for higher taxes via the EVAT Law.

1Enrile_Philstar
Selective Justice
Citing humanitarian reasons, eight justices of the Supreme Court allowed accused plunderer Sen. Juan Ponce Enrile to post bail. Shortly after he was released, Enrile said his faith in the justice system has been restored. As opposed to the public whose faith in the justice system has been shattered.

Citing health issues, eight justices of the Supreme Court allowed accused plunderer Juan Ponce Enrile to post bail. When sought for reaction, Bong and Jinggoy both said, “Later na lang please. Parang nilalagnat kami. Masama ang aming pakiramdam. Magkakasakit yata kami. ‘Di talaga ok ang katawan namin, promise!”
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“There is a higher court than courts of justice and that is the court of conscience. It supercedes all other courts.”
~Mahatma Gandhi

Sound Bites
“That we make factual determinations ourselves to grant provisional liberty to one who is obviously politically privileged without the benefit of the presentation of evidence… casts serious doubts on our neutrality and objectivity.”
~Supreme Court Justice Marvic Leonen on the SC’s decision to allow Senator Enrile to post bail

Stay safe!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: Chicken: Crowdriff.com; Abaya: MMT.Com.Ph; Enrile: Philstar.com]





CHICKEN!

14 09 2012

WHY DID THE CHICKEN cross the road? Here’s why according to prominent Filipinos!


Tourism Sec. Mon Jimenez: It’s more fun on the other side.

President Aquino: The order came from me. I wanted to secure the eggs on the other side. But that’s the extent of the instructions I gave the chicken. As for the allegation that it tried to raid a barn, there’s always the presumption of innocence unless proven otherwise.

Resigned Usec. Rico E. Puno: Very specific ang order sa manok: tumawid ka sa kalsada at i-secure ang mga itlog sa kabila. Ang hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit may gustong manira sa manok at gawan ito ng maraming istorya.

Chief Justice Maria Lourdes Sereno: No one, no one but God made the chicken cross the road.

Sen. Tito Sotto: Walang iba, walang iba kundi Panginoon ang nagawang magpatawid sa manok sa kalsada.

Sotto’s Chief of Staff Hector Villacorta: Ginagawa naman ng lahat ‘yan, what’s the big deal?

Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago: Panginoon, bigyan mo ako ng isa pang buhay, at iimbestigahan ko ang manok na ito!

Isko Moreno: Pinagbantaan ho kasi ang manok. Sabi daw ho ipapapatay, maraming nakarinig.. Kaya siguro tumawid.

Manila Mayor Alfredo Lim: O, tumawid na ang manok. Manahimik na lang kayo.

Former Chief Justice Renato Corona: The chicken wishes to be excused.

Justice Sec. Leila De Lima: There is a conspiracy! May tumawid na aso, may tumawid na pato, may tumawid na tao. Why is the chicken being singled out?

Quezon City Rep. Winnie Castelo:


Sen. Chiz Escudero: Baka may ka-meeting. Again “meeting.” Masyado nang matanda ang manok para tawaging date ‘yon.

Tulfo Brothers: Aba’y tarantado pala ang gagong manok na ‘yan eh. Paano kung naaksidente siya? ‘Wag na ‘wag ko lang makakasabay sa kalsada ang hayup na ‘yan, sasagasaan ko talaga!

Rolito Go: Hindi po siya tumawid. Kinidnap siya.

Annabelle Rama: Bakit dong? Kapag sinagot ko ba ang tanong na ‘yan, may TF ako?

KC Concepcion: May hinahanap kasing basic lang ang manok na nasa kabila ng kalsada. Ayokong magbigay ng detalye Tito Boy. Ayokong siraan ang manok.

Korina Sanchez: Eh kasi nga may humahabol na maliliit at maiitim na maligno.

Vice President Jejomar Binay: I categorically deny na hinabol ko ang manok!

Sen. Tito Sotto: I categorically deny na hinabol ko ang manok!
——————
“Roads are no place for naive chickens dreaming of nirvana.”
~ Shalom Auslander, Hope: A Tragedy

Quote of the Weak
“I have 256 barangays under me. Will I waste my time going to each barangay saying ‘O, ‘tong kalyeng to, ito ‘yong pondo na ibinigay ni PNoy para sa barangay n’yo.’  I can’t do that.”
~ Congresswoman Lucy Torres on why she had to put up tarpaulins with her and her husband’s huge images

Have a great weekend!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.





WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

12 06 2011

Note: You may continue reading my posts on this site if you couldn’t access my new website. I’m still trying to fix it. Apologies for the inconvenience.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Here’s why according to local political figures and other personalities in government and society:

Former DoTC Chief Jose ‘Ping’ De Jesus: “The chicken crossed the road for personal reasons.”

Former Batangas governor Tony Leviste: “It has an appointment with the dentist.”

Former BuCor Chief Ernesto Diokno: “Binalaan ko na nga ‘yan eh. Sabi ko, mag-ingat ka, baka masagasaan ka.”

Atty. Edwin Lacierda: “At the end of the day, ang mahalaga ay ligtas siyang nakatawid.”

President Aquino: “Ibalato n’yo na lang sa chicken ang nalalabing konting privacy sa buhay n’ya.”

Albay Rep. Edcel Lagman: “The House minority will file a resolution. We’d like to investigate the alleged illegal activities of the chicken and its KKK – kalahi, kasabong, and katukaan.”

Cong. Manny Pacquiao: “Sabi kasi sa Bible, go to the other side and multiply.”

Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago: “I’m speechless. That’s my only comment. That’s a silly topic… maghanap na lang tayo ng ibang hayup na pag-uusapan.”

LTO chief Virginia Torres: “Pabalik na sa puwesto.”

Mar Roxas: “Hindi niya nahindian ang pakiusap ng tandang na magresponde. May sunog daw kasi sa frontlines.”

Justice Sec. Leila De Lima: “I will immediately form a special panel to investigate why the chicken crossed the road.”

PAGASA: “Batay sa satellite and surface data, ang manok ay namataan sa silangang bahagi ng bangketa. Ito ay may taglay na bilis na 3 miles per hour ngunit hindi pa masabi kung tatawid nga ito ng kalsada. Abangan ang susunod na bulletin mamayang alas-onse ng gabi.”

Sen. Francis Escudero:Leave the chicken alone!”

Sen. Gringo Honasan:Maging manok ka muna then, let’s talk.”

Former Ombudsman Merceditas Gutierrez: “Hindi natin puwedeng sabihing tumawid nga ang manok dahil mahina naman talaga ang mga ebidensya!”

Dr. Margie Holmes: “Unang-una, dapat muna nating alamin kung inahin o tandang ang manok na ‘yan. Kung ito ay inahin, posibleng nakaramdam siya ng libog nang matanaw niya sa kabilang bahagi ng kalye ang isang tandang.”

UP physics major Carlo Candare: “I pulled it on its tail and threw it. Then like some pro wrestler I jumped on it and my feet landed on its torso. Slam! Felt good! But the chicken didn’t die, well not yet.”

ABS-CBN Chairman Gabby Lopez: “Chickens come and go. But the road stays.”

GMA NewsTV: “Para oras-oras, mangitlog.”

Zenaida Seva: “Hindi hawak ng mga kalye ang kapalaran ng manok. Gabay lamang sila. Meron itong free will, ginamit niya ito.”

And finally…
Former Bb. Pilipinas-World Janina San Miguel: “The chicken’s role for me is so important. Becoz, they’re was, they was the one… whoooose…. very… Ahaha Oh I’m so sorry. The chicken… the chicken… oh my god! I’m so sorry, I told you the chicken is so confident. Eto, ahm, wait! Ahahahaha! Sorry guys because it’s the first time the chicken cross the road. Because the chicken is only 17 weeks old. And, haha, I did not expect that the chicken came from… came from one of the tough hen. Soooo. But I said… dot… the chicken is one of the most important bird in my life. Thank you.”


Independence Day
Today, the whole country is celebrating Independence Day. Or as China would say, “Enjoy it while it lasts.”

Reports say Chinese Ambassador to the Philippines Liu Jianchao greeted President Aquino in Malacanang on the occasion of the country’s 113th Independence Day. Liu also thanked Aquino for being a hardworking leader of “a Chinese territory.”

Salceda’s Suggestion
In retaliation to Beijing’s “bullying” amid reported repeated intrusions of Chinese vessels in Spratly Islands and the West Philippine Sea, Albay Governor Joey Salceda has called for a boycott of all “Made in China” products. China described Salceda’s call as “an act of treason.”

World’s Shortest
The Guinness World Records has declared 18-year-old Junrey Balawing of Zamboanga Del Norte as the world’s shortest adult man. Balawing’s parents couldn’t say why Junrey just stopped growing although Malacañang believes that the previous administration may have something to do with it.

A Filipino – yup, a Filipino, has been declared the world’s shortest adult man. Take that China!
————————————————————
“Halina’t sumayaw sa ilalim ng araw
Maghawak-hawak ng kamay
Isigaw nang sabay-sabay
Kapayapaan, kapayapaan.”
~Tropical Depression, ‘Kapayapaan’

You Have Spoken
Nagbanta raw ng riot ang mga gang sa Bilibid kaya ipinagpaliban ang pag-dismantle sa motel-like kubol sa NBP. Your take:
– Tamang desisyon. Iwas gulo. 5.68%
– Simpleng-simple: Labag sa batas ang kubol, dismantle them! 86.93%
– Ano ‘yong isyu? Hindi ko nabasa. 7.39%

Elsewhere
Philippine Daily Inquirer: Who will be the next Ombudsman?

ABS-CBN: Lovers’ quarrel? PNoy cold-shoulders Juana Change

Personal
Try to catch “SRO: Suhestyon, Reaksyon at Opinyon,” the fearless, revealing, and sometimes, intriguing but otherwise entertaining program on dzMM hosted by Ms Lynda Jumilla and Alvin Elchico. It’s been my (almost) nightly habit right after 24Oras and TV Patrol.

Happy Independence Day! Have a great week ahead!





CHICKEN CROSSING (2009 EDITION)

19 04 2009

THEY MADE guesses in 2007. They gave their two cents’ worth in 2008. This year, they will again try to answer the age-old question: “Why did the chicken cross the road?”

Here’s why according to some local political personalities, government officials, and celebrities:

1: Joseph Estrada: “Binantaan ko ang manok. Kapag hindi kayo nagkaisa ng iyong mga sisiw sa pagtawid… ako na mismo ang tatawid at iiwan ko kayo sa kabilang side ng kalsada.”

2: Sen. Manuel Villar: “What road? C5 or Carlos P. Garcia Avenue?”

3: Sen. Panfilo Lacson: “I absolutely had nothing to do with it. My conscience is clear.”

4: Sen. Manuel Villar 2: “What chicken?! Itik ‘yon!”

5: VP Noli De Castro: “Bakit ka lilipad pa kung kaya namang maglakad na?

6: Cong. Jose De Venecia: “I will not testify even if the Senate conducts a probe on that matter. I’ve already corroborated the statement of my son who saw the chicken when it crossed the road.”

7: Sen. Mar Roxas: “Put*ang inaaaaaa! Ano bang tanong ‘yan?! Paanong ‘di maglalakad ‘yon eh hindi naman siya marunong sumakay sa padyak?!”

8: First Gentleman Mike Arroyo: “I don’t care about the chicken. I am more concerned about the road. I think it needs repair. When is the bidding?”

9: Satur Ocampo: “Bilang protesta sa pang-aabuso sa karapatang pang-hayop ng mga multinasyonal at dayuhang korporasyong katulad ng KFC, Texas Chicken, Kenny Rogers, at McDonald’s.”

10: Ted Failon: “The chicken was having some problems. It tried to commit suicide by crossing that very dangerous road.”

11: Quezon City Police: “We’re not sure yet if it crossed the road or not. The path where it allegedly crossed was apparently cleaned up thereby contaminating the evidence.”

12: ABS-CBN: “Let us respect the privacy of the chicken.”

13: DOJ Sec. Raul Gonzales: “That chicken is crazy!”

14: Sen. Richard Gordon: “I was able to talk to someone from the other side of the road and he confirmed that they’re holding the chicken hostage. There’s proof of life.”

15: Defense Sec. Gilbert Teodoro:The good senator is endangering the life of the chicken. He should let the task force do the talking.”

16: Bro. Eddie Villanueva: “Jeremiah Chapter 9, Verse 10: I will weep for the mountains and wail for the desert pastures. For they are desolate and empty of life; the lowing of cattle is heard no more; the birds and wild animals all have fled.”

17: HK Magazine columnist Chip Tsao: “You’re a nation of chickens!”

18: Public Attorneys Office Chief Persida Rueda-Acosta: “Why not? It has served its minimum sentence. Allow it to walk free!”

19: Subic rape victim Suzette “Nicole” Nicolas: “To marry!”

20: Alabang Boys: “To parteE!”

21: Pampanga Gov. Ed Panlilio: “To quarry!”

22: DOJ State Prosecutor John Resado: “I will answer that question only if you deposit 1.6 million pesos to my BDO account.”

23: Fashion designer Boyet Fajardo: “Mga leche kayo! Hindi n’yo ako kilala? Ako si Boyet Fajardo! Fashion designer ako, hindi sabungero! At ‘yang put*ng-inang manok na ‘yan ay walang kuwentang hayop!”

24: Manny Pacquiao: “ABS-CBN lawyers made the chicken do it.”

25: Annabelle Rama:Ang kapal ng mukha ng manok na ‘yan. Matapos kong bigyan ng patuka, siniraan pa ako sa mga alaga kong sisiw! Idedemanda ko siya dong! At sasampal-sampalin ko pa ‘pag nakita ko! Sinimulan n’ya ‘yan… tatapusin ko!”

26: Wilma Galvante: “I helped the chicken cross the road yes, but I categorically deny asking for eggs in return. Hindi kami nasusuhulan dito.”

27: Dr. Hayden Kho: “I am not exactly sure why but I do have proof that the chicken crossed the road. I videotaped it secretly.”

28: Dr. Vicki Belo: “I told the chicken: if you want to look like Piolo Pascual or Dingdong Dantes, stay with Belo. But if you want to look like Boy Abunda, go to other side of the road.”

29: Madam Auring: “Nakikita ko… nararamdaman ko… gaganda ang buhay ng chicken this year. Mangingitlog pa siya nang marami.”

The next day…

Tabloid headline: “Manok… nasagasaan, patay!”

And due to insistent public demand, I’d like to belatedly add another answer to the question: “Why did the chicken cross the road?”

30: Sen. Lito Lapid: “All of the above!”

Have a productive week ahead!

Survey Says…
Who’s got the worst TV ad?
All of them were bad: 63%
Roxas: 27%
Villar: 6%
Lacson: 4%

We have a new survey question. Please vote now.





CHICKEN CROSSING (VERSION 2008)

19 03 2008

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Here’s why according to controversial Filipino personalities (government officials, politicians, prominent businessmen, and local celebrities):

21: Lolit Solis: “Ma at pa! Basta! Sure ako sa aking nakita! Tumawid ang manok na ‘yan at may kasama pa siyang isa. Hinding-hindi ako magre-retract.”

20: ABS-CBN: “Somebody manipulated the chicken into crossing the road and we believe that the manipulator comes from another network.”

19: GMA 7: “We strongly condemn the insinuation that we were involved in the manipulation of the chicken. We will take this baseless allegation to court to clear our name.”

18: Juan Manuel Marquez: “To do some unfinished business.”

17: Manny Pacquiao: “I don’t agree. For me, business is over.”

16: Tim Yap/The Gucci Gang: “To party! (And snort some stuff.)”

15: Bb. Pilipinas-World Janina San Miguel: “Oh I’m sorry. A-ha-ha. I’m only 17 years old. I did not expect that the chickens is a tough hens.”

14: MMDA Chairman Bayani Fernando: “Pano’ng di tatawid ‘yan eh wala nang madaanan sa sidewalk. Okupado ng vendors!”

13: Joseph Estrada: “A legal study shows that the chicken can still cross the road even if it has failed to complete its first attempt to get to the other side.”

12: Albay Gov. Joey Salceda: “The important thing is the chicken didn’t get run over. Such a lucky bitch!”

11: Cory Aquino: “Why did the chicken cross the road? Let us all pray so that the truth will come out.”

10: President Arroyo: “I reiterate: my government is focused on the economy. We will not be bothered by the noise created by some fowls marching in some streets.”

9: CBCP: “We are also for the truth and we believe that no one should prevent witnesses from talking. But please, leave the chicken alone and let it finish its journey to the other side!”

8: Sen. Joker Arroyo: “Don’t mess around with my chicken!”

7: Sen. Jamby Madrigal: “Let’s subpoena the chicken and ask why. If it refuses to talk, I will expose its secrets.”

6: Sen. Panfilo Lacson: “I have a surprise witness who will tell us why the chicken crossed the road. Ladies and gentlemen… my witness!”

5: Leo San Miguel: “Aba malay ko! Wala akong alam d’yan.”

4: Benjamin Abalos: “Preposterous! I categorically deny na nagbanta akong ipapapatay ang manok na ‘yan kaya biglang tumawid sa kabila!”

3: CHEd Chairman Romulo Neri: “I heard that motorists always try to beat the red light in that street. I believe the chicken crossed the road to moderate their speed.”

2: Jun Lozada: “Kinabahan kasi ang chicken nang lapitan ito ng tatlong tandang na hindi nagpakilala. Naalala tuloy niya ang nangyari noon kina McChicken at Chickenjoy… kinidnap tapos pinatay.”

And the No. 1 answer to the question, “Why did the chicken cross the road?”

1: First Gentleman Mike Arroyo: “You keep saying that the chicken crossed the road but where is your evidence!? Maglabas muna kayo ng ebidensya!”

HERE’S TWO MORE:
Philippine Daily Inquirer (Banner Story): “Unnamed sources say the chicken crossed the road to lay eggs”

Two days later…

Philippine Daily Inquirer (Erratum): “We would like to apologize to the chicken. It couldn’t possibly lay eggs as what we have previously reported because the chicken was in fact – a rooster!”

Enjoy your vacation!








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