DAY 21

FEBRUARY 21 is International Mother Language Day. In belated celebration of this UN-declared observance, I am writing this regular post in Filipino!

Ngayon ay Pebrero 22, 2012 – ang unang araw ng Lent o Kuwaresma. Ash Wednesday pa lamang ngayon pero kahapon pa Biyernes Santo ang mukha ng prosecution panel.

Hindi pinayagan ni Presiding Officer Juan Ponce Enrile na tumestigo sa impeachment trial ni Chief Justice Renato Corona ang vice president for sales ng Philippine Airlines na si Enrique Javier. Flight canceled.

Dismayado ang prosecution panel sa naging pasya ng impeachment court na huwag pagsalitain ang kanilang testigo. Ngunit mas dismayado si Enrique Javier sa naantala niyang TV debut.

Nagpasya ang prosecution panel na idrop na lamang ang ilang alegasyong nakapaloob sa Article III ng impeachment complaint. Hindi naman sinabi ng grupo kung kailan nila ida-drop bilang pinuno si Niel Tupas.

Hinamon ni Senate President Juan Ponce Enrile ang prosekusyon na palitan siya bilang Presiding Officer sa impeachment trial kung hindi sila kuntento sa kanyang mga ruling. Sa ‘di maipaliwanag na dahilan, nakaramdam ng excitement si Senador Edgardo Angara.

Hindi pa rin natutukoy kung sino ang nag-leak sa bank documents ni Chief Justice Renato Corona. Itinanggi na ito ng bangko, itinanggi na ito ng AMLA, itinanggi na ito ng Bangko Sentral. Pwes, imbestigahan ang RA Gapuz Review Center!

Sa ibang balita…
Nag-courtesy call ang Hollywood actor na si Jeremy Renner kay Pangulong Aquino. The Bourne Legacy meets the Burnt Legacy.

Dahil sa nakatakdang arraignment bukas ni Pampanga Rep. Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo, hinigpitan na ng pulisya ang seguridad. Sa katunayan, wala na raw mas hihigpit pa rito… maliban na lang sa mukha ni Vicki Belo.

Sa Police Report: Isang lalaki ang inaresto matapos diumanong magnakaw ng pitumpu’t anim na piraso ng bra sa SM San Lazaro. Ayon sa suspek, wala nang gatas ang kanyang anak kaya’t dibdiban ang paghahanap niya ng pera.

Sa Maynila, nagkapasa-pasa ang katawan ng isang beinte-tres anyos na lalaki matapos mapagtripang bugbugin ng isang grupo ng kalalakihan. Hindi pa tiyak kung ang mga suspek ay miyembro ng isang gang o miyembro ng Lambda Rho Beta ng San Beda College.

At sa Showbiz… Mula Amerika ay bumalik sa bansa noong Lunes ang kontrobersyal na celebrity doctor na si Vicki Belo. Tinangka ni Belo na lituhin at pagtaguan ang media sa pamamagitan ng pagsakay sa wheelchair, pagtatalukbong ng kumot, at pagsusuot ng luma niyang mukha.

Sakay ng wheelchair si Vicki Belo nang lumabas ito ng NAIA noong nakaraang Lunes. Marami tuloy ang nagtatanong kung nakakapilay raw ba ang Oedipus Complex.

Mga Tampok na Larawan sa Linggong Ito

Sen. Kiko Pangilinan: Bakit may kopya ka ng love letter ni Presidente kay Grace Lee?
Sen. Panfilo Lacson: Aba, malay ko bang love letter ito. May maliit na babaeng nag-abot nito sa akin kanina.
Sen. Koko Pimentel: Mga tsismoso!
Sen. Antonio Trillanes: “Dear Blueberry Cheesecake, I hope to… ” BLUEBERRY Cheesecake?!? Ang cheesy ng pucha!

Sen. Alan Peter Cayetano: Ate, check mo nga kung anong pinagkakaabalahan ng matanda sa tabi mo.
Sen. Pia Cayetano: Wait, sisimple ako.
Sen. Chiz Escudero: Manong Joker, adjourned na ang trial. Tara na!
Sen. Joker Arroyo: Teka, binabasa ko lang ‘tong psychological records daw ni Noynoy na iniabot sa akin ni Manny.
Sen. Manny Villar: Ang ingay n’yo naman Manong. ‘Di ba sabi ko atin-atin lang muna ‘yan?

Sen. Jinggoy Estrada: Manong, alam n’yo ho ba ang pangalan ng magandang babaeng laging present sa gallery? Masama ang tingin ni Senator Angara eh.
Sen. Joker Arroyo: Naku, may bago pa ba d’yan? Hayaan mo na ang chickboy na ‘yon.
Sen. Frank Drilon: Gago ‘tong dalawang ‘to ah. Pinag-chi-chismisan ang brod ko sa Sigma Rho.

Sen. Juan Ponce Enrile: ‘Yon ang nabasa ko! Kaya raw hiniwalayan si Hayden Kho, kasi nga may kinalolokohang yoga instructor na mas bata at mas macho.
Sen. Tito Sotto: Sa yaman ni Vicki? Suwerte ‘yong lalaki!
Sen. Panfilo Lacson: In fairness, suwerte rin si Vicki!
Sen. Manny Villar: Bakit ba kailangang hiwalayan pa? ‘Di ba pwedeng double insertion? Joke lang!

Mrs. Cristina Corona: O, bakit umiiyak ka na naman? Ipakita mong hindi ka mahina.
Chief Justice Corona: Eh kasi, plano kong pumunta sa London Olympics. Bigla ba namang kinansela ng PAL ang Platinum Card ko. Ang sakit!

Atty. Judd Roy: Naknampoodle. Na-hack yata ang Twitter account ko. Ayun, pinagpipiyestahan ngayon ng palasyo! Asar!
Justice Cuevas: I’m sorry counsel. But your manifestation is immaterial, irrelevant and impertinent to our case. Teka, ano ba ‘yong Twitter?

Boom!
————————————————————————-
LAWYER: A professional advocate hired to bend the law on behalf of a paying client; for this reason considered the most suitable background for entry into politics.
~The Cynic’s Dictionary

Quotes of the Day
“The court has already ruled. You are wasting the time of this court. My God! You have to have discipline here! You make allegations and you are going to expand it without making the proper changes in your Article 3.”
~Presiding Officer Juan Ponce Enrile

“Mga kriminal pala sila. Hindi sana pumapatay ng tao ang initiation nila.”
Hazing victim Marvin Reglos’ father

Enjoy the rest of the week!

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DEFENSE

Pangalan: Rey V. Umali
Posisyon: Kinatawan, 2nd District, Oriental Mindoro

Ang Kwento:
Nilapitan daw siya ng “small lady” sa Senate premises at inabutan ng isang envelope na naglalaman ng diumano’y bank documents ni Chief Justice Corona

Ang Sabi ng CCTV:
Walang gan’yang pangyayari. Etchosera ka.

Ang Aksyon:
Siya ay inoobligang magpaliwanag sa loob 24 oras.

Ang Kinaroroonan:
Ewan. Baka nagri-rehearse ng isasagot.

Ang Hamon at Pabuya:
Sinumang makapagbibigay ng impormasyon sa kinaroroonan ng kongresistang ito ay pasasalamatan ng Impeachment Court at bibigyan ng pagkakataong mag-kiss sa Presiding Officer na magdiriwang ng kanyang 88th birthday on Feb. 14, Araw ng mga Puso. Good luck!

SUNNY SATURDAY, rainy Sunday, half-sunny, half-rainy Monday. For the last three or four days, the weather has been unpredictable and weird. Just like Chief Justice Corona’s defense team.


Quoting reliable sources, lawyers of embattled Chief Justice Renato Corona revealed Malacañang was offering 100 million pesos each to senator-judges who will defy the Supreme Court’s order stopping the opening of Corona’s dollar accounts. That’s insane. Anong palagay n’yo sa mga senador, kongresista?!

The defense team of Chief Justice Renato Corona refuses to identify its source. But The Daily Tribune editor-in-chief Niñez Cacho-Olivares believes the source is “a impeachable.”

The defense panel has refused to identify its source. Doing a Rey Umali.

In a hastily called press conference, defense lawyers said, “The President is bent on convicting the Chief Justice at all costs.” Again, tell us something we don’t know.

Grace Lee In Love?
Veteran journalist Ellen Tordesillas wrote that television and radio personality Grace Lee, on her radio show, stated that her relationship with President Aquino was destined for the altar. Close friends of the Korean were not surprised at all. In high school, Grace Lee was allegedly voted “Most Likely to Marry a Geriatric Case.”

Some people are happy to see President Aquino and Grace Lee together. On the one hand, you have a seemingly desperate person who wants to finally get hitched, and on the other hand, you have President Aquino.

This just in:
Grace Lee is accusing Ellen Tordesillas of writing “an article of lies to sensationalize one’s private life.” The future first lady says “I’ve have never said anything remotely close to what her write up says I did. I believe the public deserves an apology from her.” To which, the public said, “Actually, we don’t. And please, huwag mo na kaming idamay.”

Singles
According to a study, there are 13 million single females and 16 million single males in the Philippines today. They are further categorized into two: ‘by choice,’ and ‘no choice.’

RIP Whitney Houston
Pop legend Whitney Houston has died. Apparently, when the Grim Reaper arrived, the bodyguard wasn’t there.

Investigators confirmed Whitney Houston was found in the bathtub of her room at Beverly Hilton Hotel. In her final moments, she was probably singing in the shower.

ABS-CBN and GMA 7 will pay tribute to Whitney Houston… by not letting Anne Curtis and Maxene Magalona sing any of her songs.

On Day 16 of the Corona Impeachment Trial, the impeachment court paid tribute to Whitney Houston. Impeachment players performed songs popularized by the Grammy winning artist.
Sen. Frank Drilon with prosecutors as backup singers: “Count On Me”

Sen. Joker Arroyo with defense lawyers as backup: “Saving All My Love For You”

Guest performer ex-senator Kit Tatad and CJ Corona: “I Know Him So Well”

Cong. Niel Tupas: “How Will I Know”

Sen. Ed Angara and Sen. Loren Legarda: “I Believe in You and Me”

Sen. Chiz Escudero: “Where Do Broken Hearts Go?”

Retired Justice Serafin Cuevas: “Exhale (Shoop, Shoop)”

Sen. Bong Revilla: “So Emotional”

Sen. Juan Ponce Enrile: “One Moment in Time”

Sen. Manny Villar and Sen. Bongbong Marcos: “Didn’t We Almost Have It All”

Sen. Lito Lapid: “I Have Nothing”

Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago: “Queen of the Night”

Cong. Rudy Fariñas: “When You Believe”

Sen. Kiko Pangilinan and Sen. Segio Osmeña III with prosecutors as back up: “Run to You”

PSBank Robbery
A group of men breaks into a PSBank branch in Lipa City, Batangas. The group leader was identified as Niel Tupas.

Sen. Ping Lacson: “I’m Every Woman”

Vicki-Hayden Break Up
It’s over between Vicki Belo and one-time porn-videographer Hayden Kho Jr.  The controversial cosmetic expert is single again! You’ve been warned Zaijian Jaranilla!
————————————————————————————
“Every man has the price, I will bribe left and right.”
~Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton

Quote of the Day
“My birthday message to PNoy: I hope that the spirits of his parents, who did well for our country, will continue to guide him and that he will always be conscious of their high expectations—perhaps too high expectations—because it’s so difficult to be a president. Frankly, if the presidency is offered to me now on a silver platter at my age, after all my experience, I will politely decline it. I will be flattered, but I will decline it. It’s extremely difficult to be a president. Let us all wish him a happy birthday, in a sense that he might gain peace of mind and serenity.”
~Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago via Twitter @senmiriam

Have a great week! Stay in love!

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UNDER FIRE

PERSONAL: A former officemate has been jobless for months. She’s getting desperate. In the hope of landing a job in government, she’s planning to change her surname to Abad.


Four Posts
Lawmakers have criticized the recent appointment of the members of the Abad family in key government posts. Ex-congressman and former DepEd chief Florencio “Butch” Abad is the new budget secretary. His daughter Julia is the chief of the Presidential Management Staff or PMS while his son, Luis has been appointed chief of staff of Finance Secretary Cesar Purisima. Abad’s wife, Henedina is the representative of the lone district of Batanes and is the incoming vice chairman of the House appropriations committee. President Aquino may be single but his administration has its own First Family.


Security for SONA
At least 3,000 anti-riot policemen will be deployed when President Noynoy Aquino delivers his first State of the Nation Address on July 26. You know what that means? Tiba-tiba na naman ang McDonald’s! Wohoo!

Pagcor & McDonald’s
Reports say a check amounting to 21.1 millions pesos was released last June 28 to reimburse former Pagcor chairman Efraim Genuino for food purchases at McDonald’s that were “donated” to the NCR Police Office. Again, that’s 21.1 million pesos worth of meals from McDo! And we still wonder why many cops are overweight?

Based on receipts issued by McDonald’s, former Pagcor chairman Efraim Genuino ordered food on eight separate days – January 15, March 11, April 5, April 14, May 4, May 12, May 13 and June 3. In another news dismissed by Genuino as irrelevant, supporters of his son Erwin who lost in the mayoral race in Makati City have reportedly launched a boycott against McDonald’s saying, “Sawang-sawa na kami sa McDo. Noong panahon ng kampanya wala nang pinakain sa ‘min kundi McDo!”

Light Bites
Q: Ano ang favorite commercial jingle ng mga pulis?
A: Pa-pa-ra-pa-pa… love ko tong!

Yusoph’s Son
A son of Comelec Commissioner Elias Yusoph who was kidnapped in Marawi City last month has been released. The Philippine National Police denied reports that ransom was paid to the kidnappers… although McDonald’s-Marawi confirmed that 2 million-peso worth of cheeseburgers were ordered by an unidentified group of armed men immediately after Yusoph’s release.

Congressman Mikey
Voting 4-2 with one abstention, the Commission on Elections en banc allowed Mikey Arroyo to sit as representative of “Ang Galing Pinoy” party-list, which claims to represent among others, security guards in Congress. To prove that he’s serious about his advocacy, Mikey reportedly vowed to work on graveyard shift.

The Commission on Elections has allowed former presidential son Mikey Arroyo to sit in Congress. Rumors say Mikey has already drafted his first bill: “An Act Penalizing the Violators of the ‘No ID, No Entry’ Policy.”

SC and Plagiarism
Supreme Court associate justice Mariano del Castillo who penned the decision on a case filed by a group of comfort women has been of accused of plagiarizing from the Yale Law Journal and the Western Reserve Journal of International Law and a portion of a book by the Cambridge University Press. Del Castillo has denied the allegation but vows to pay for the act if proven otherwise… by donating cash to the basketball program of his alma mater, the Ateneo De Manila University.

Supreme Court associate justice Mariano del Castillo who penned the decision on a case filed by a group of comfort women has been of accused of plagiarism, or as Manny V. Pangilinan would call it, “borrowing.”

Charice and Belo
News that Vicki Belo performed a cosmetic procedure on pop sensation Charice Pempengco became the 6th most discussed topic worldwide on Twitter.com Monday night. Belo felt an overwhelming sense of déjà vu. A few years back, a cosmetic surgery done on her own face was a hit on AwfulPlasticSurgery.Com.

A footage of Charice Pempengco getting Botox injection was featured on the Hollywood entertainment show The Daily 10. They showed Charice’ old and new face, and then they showed the face of her sponsor Vicki Belo, the living proof that the procedure can go horribly wrong.
—————–
“I think most of the people involved in any art always secretly wonder whether they are really there because they’re good or there because they’re lucky.”
~Katharine Hepburn

Survey Says
Manolo Quezon, Ricky Carandang, Sonny Coloma, Jing Magsaysay, atbp. Ano ang basa mo sa pinaplantsang Presidential Communications Group?
– Okay ‘yan! Mas maraming nagtatrabaho, mas pabor sa gobyerno. 21.9%
– Naku, magiging magulo ‘yan! 37.5%
– Hintayin na lang natin.

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

Elsewhere
Philippine Daily Inquirer: Who are the Abads?

Manila Standard Today: Ochoa hate mail gets Rated K

Newsbreak’s Inside Track: President Aquino upsets Japan and No to Lobbying

SATISFACTION

I’M SURE YOU’VE noticed how chilly our mornings have become. The temperature is so low, weathermen say it’s actually lower than President Arroyo’s satisfaction rating.

Joint Session
Senators and congressmen are holding a joint session tomorrow to tackle the martial law imposed in Maguindanao. Representatives of the Guinness World Records will also be present to authenticate RP’s latest bid to establish a new world record for the largest gathering of thieves.

The Ampatuans’ Arms Cache
Recent raids in the Ampatuan residences yielded more than 400 carbine, garand and M-14 rifles, more than 300 kind of magazines and thousands of rounds of ammunition, 11 pistols, 20 long HP firearms, several machine guns, sniper rifles, armored vehicles, camouflage uniforms, and mortars. Senate committee on national defense and security chairman Rodolfo Biazon is seeking an indepth investigation to determine how the Ampatuans got hold of one-half of the AFP’s armory.

Same Sex Marriages
Manila Rep. Bienvenido Abante has sought the criminalization of same-sex marriages in the country saying it’s “highly immoral, scandalous, and detestable.” Abante is seeking re-election in Manila but in case he loses, the Comelec Second Division is willing to take him as its fourth member.

In Entertainment…
Last Friday evening, lawyer Lorna Kapunan, a self-proclaimed feminist and women’s rights advocate-turned-Hayden Kho Jr. apologist and defender dismissed rumors that her client had another suicide attempt. However, witnesses claimed they found the visibly distraught ex-doctor in a pineapple plantation in Silang, Cavite before dawn Friday uttering words like “Huwag n’yo na kong hanapin. Walang nagmamahal sa akin. Nagpaalam na ako sa Diyos.” We all know what happened next: he survived. Due to this development, GMA 7’s “Wish Ko Lang” has invited Hayden to guest on the program. The show will grant his wish to die!

Lawyer Lorna Kapunan said Hayden Kho Jr. was rushed to the hospital not because of another suicide attempt but due to intestinal flu. Attending physicians said he consumed at least 50 leaves of pineapple.

My unimpeachable source said Hayden Kho DID attempt to hurt himself again because Dr. Vicki Belo threatened to break up with him after receiving information that he’s seeing another woman. Worse, that woman was Atty. Lorna Kapunan!

A source said Hayden Kho is back to his old womanizing ways, infuriating his girlfiend, Dr. Vicki Belo. Belo’s reaction surprised a lot of people who always thought that wax figures do not have emotion.

Tiger in Trouble
Golf superstar Tiger Woods is being linked to at least 10 women who have threatened to surface and tell their stories. Some of the women are reportedly armed with incriminating photos. The imminent threat has prompted Woods to declare Martial Law.

Tabloids are linking Tiger Woods to several sexy women. Woods have denied the allegation and insisted that it was just part of the promo for his upcoming film fest entry.

Ten women are being linked now to Tiger Woods. When actress Gina Alajar heard the report, she updated her Facebook status and wrote: “If I were Elin Nordegren-Woods, I would not give up on Tiger. Those 10 girls are not worth it.”

Reports say 10 women have emerged and claimed they had an affair with Tiger Woods. Observers believe eight more will surface to complete the 18 holes.

Playgirl magazine claims it has received a collection of naked Tiger Woods photos. Curious fans are eager to know if Tiger’s birdie is an eagle.

___________
“As long as I have a want, I have a reason for living. Satisfaction is death.”
~George Bernard Shaw

Survey Says
Among these presidential aspirants, who’s likely to withdraw his/her bid before May 2010?
Joseph Estrada :15%
Councilor JC De Los Reyes :18%
Sen. Jamby Madrigal :17%
Nicanor Perlas :4%
No one. Tuloy ang laban! :46%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

Elsewhere
An open letter to Philippine Daily Inquirer columnist Conrado De Quiros

If this columnist is telling the truth, why not just identify the subjects of his blind items?

MR. & MRS. PADYAK

marco_wedding_hands LET ME BEGIN THIS post by saying that I am genuinely happy for ex-future president Mar Roxas and his ex-girlfriend, the ex-future First Lady Korina Sanchez, who is now a certified madrasta.

Congratulations, best wishes, and most importantly, good luck!

Unknown to many, I was one of the hundreds of uninvited folks who endured the smoldering heat outside Sto. Domingo Church in Quezon City to witness the event dubbed by local media as the “People’s Wedding” and “Kasalan ng Taon.” Dozens of politicians attended the ceremony, probably the reason why it was hotter inside the church.

The truth is: Conrado De Quiros and I were sent wedding invitations by Senator Roxas. However, Korina insisted that we apologize first before security personnel could allow us inside. In short, “No Sorry, No Entry.” De Quiros replied, “I’d rather wait for Noynoy’s wedding.” But the PDI columnist admits he doesn’t have any idea if it will ever happen since “Sa lahat ng pulitikong may girlfriend, si Noynoy lamang ang hindi atat na atat mag-asawa.”

marco_wedding_TAO As for me, I opted to be a spectator outside. Thanks to the giant video wall that was installed in front of the church for ordinary people to see the wedding. If it’s any consolation, I was beside the GMA 7 news team. You just have to admire those guys. They were so prepared for the special coverage! In fact, they brought their 3G phones in case the video wall suffered technical glitches!

The ceremony was pushed back to 4 o’clock because the bride wasn’t around yet at the originally-scheduled 3PM rites. It turned out that from the Intercon Hotel in Makati, Korina first went to Heritage Memorial Park in Taguig City to pay respects to her departed parents – in her bridal gown! She plans to do the same this coming All Saints Day.

marco-wedding-telon
Trivia: Ano o sino ang nakikita n’yo sa larawan?
A: Parada ng santong sikreto pa ang identity
B: Prusisyon ng mahiyaing birhen!
C: Si Korina ‘yan. May GMA 7 crew kasi sa labas kaya pilit itinago!
D: Duh! Basta ang alam ko kamukha ni JV Ejercito ‘yung lalaking naka-blue

Deviating from the norm, Korina Sanchez did not wear a veil to cover her face. It was a personal and tactical request, as she wanted to make sure that neither Sen. Francis Pangilinan nor reporter RG Cruz could go near her.

As the Inquirer reported, politics took a backseat at the celebrity-studded event. Everyone was there: from the stalwarts of the Liberal Party to members of Erap’s company and even allies of the ruling Lakas-CMD-Kampi. The only VIP missing was Loren Legarda who reportedly got sick because of climate change.

The almost nonagenarian, former Senate President Jovito Salonga, a principal sponsor was present. Loren Legarda would have enjoyed talking to him.

marco_wed_noy Among the guests, presidential aspirant Noynoy Aquino was greeted with the loudest applause. The only other time he received such applause from the public was when he told his sister Kris Aquino to “shut up.”

Congressman Teofisto “TG” Guingona III almost didn’t make it to the occasion. Good thing he resigned from the Nacionalista Party on time.

During the offertory, former Chief Justice Artemio Panganiban, a principal sponsor offered chalice and wine. Another principal sponsor, Rosa Rosal offered blood.

Reports say Sen. Mar Roxas wrote his own wedding vow… which was a good thing. Imagine if people behind his TV ads were tasked to write it! Baka nag-back out ‘yung bride!

marco_wed-vows But an awkward moment happened during the exchanged of vows. After Korina stated that Mar was the fulfillment of everything she ever wanted in a husband; Roxas slipped, and said that Sanchez was the fulfillment of everything he ever wanted in a political endorser.

Yet another awkward thing happened at the reception. When relatives of the groom conducted a survey and asked guests if they wanted the couple to have a baby before the elections, 30 percent chose YES while 10 percent chose NO. The remaining 60 percent chose Noynoy Aquino!

A minor commotion ensued during the traditional tossing of the bridal bouquet. When Korina Sanchez tossed it, the bouquet landed on Vicki Belo’s face, and P100,000 worth of Botox squirted out.

marco-wedding-kiss2 According to the Philippine Star, at the end of the matrimonial ceremony, “Mar and Korina kissed for 11 seconds.” But the Philippine Daily Inquirer said, “the couple kissed for three minutes according to a reliable source who requested anonymity.” The Manila Bulletin merely described it as “a beautiful kiss” while Abante Tonite’s banner headline said, “Nasarapan sa halikan!”

Postscript: In case you missed snippets of the wedding on TV, just follow Inquirer columnist and Liberal Party supporter Manolo Quezon on Twitter. He tweeted a detailed account of the event: blow-by-blow. Good job!
___________
“A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.”
-Zsa Zsa Gabor

chiz-announce IN OTHER NEWS
SENATOR FRANCIS JOSEPH ESCUDERO has announced his resignation from his party, the Nationalist People’s Coalition shocking not only his party mates but the members of the press as well who expected him to declare his presidential bid in a hastily-organized press conference at Club Filipino Wednesday morning. Before dozens of his cheering supporters, the 40-year-old father of twins delivered a speech in Filipino, the original draft of which reached the Professional Heckler. Will be posting it on Friday.

Matapos mag-resign si Chiz sa partido, sinong kandidato ang susuportahan ng NPC? Tatakbo pa ba si Chiz sa pagka-pangulo? Ikunsidera niya kaya ang pagka-bise presidente? Ano ang mangyayari sa plano ni Loren Legarda? Sino ang magiging presidential running mate niya? At ang pinakamahalagang tanong na kamakalawa pa gustong malaman ng publiko: Bakit walang belo si Korina Sanchez sa kanyang kasal?

Survey Says
Should Noynoy Aquino marry Shalani Soledad in case he wins the presidency?
OO, Para may First Lady: 19%
NO. Ayusin muna niya ang bansa. 27%
I don’t give a damn. 54%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

Elsewhere
Newsbreak Magazine advises presidential aspirant Manny Villar: You don’t stand judges up

Francis Escudero’s political adviser Lito Banayo insists the senator is seeking the presidency

Loren Legarda’s statement on Chiz Escudero’s resignation from NPC

Morbid but true: Memorial pages on Facebook

THE AFTERMATH

2 GMA and “Ondoy”
Around 1 AM last Sunday, President Arroyo toured some parts of eastern Metro Manila where villages and barangays got submerged in floodwaters. For the first time in years, Mrs. Arroyo realized how low that portion of the metro was. The only thing lower… was her trust rating.

GMA and “Ondoy” II
President Arroyo and her Cabinet agreed Tuesday to donate their salaries for two months to victims of tropical storm “Ondoy.” Also doing his share to help typhoon victims is Cong. Mikey Arroyo who has volunteered to gather gifts and donations… by re-marrying his wife Angela this weekend.

PHILIPPINES FLOODING GMA and “Ondoy” III
President Arroyo has ordered the implementation of preemptive measures as another tropical storm threatens to pummel Manila and Luzon this week. In particular, Mrs. Arroyo wanted to see three things in place before the next typhoon enters the country: food & water, evacuation centers, and Richard Gutierrez.

Free Calls from PLDT
Manny Pangilinan’s PLDT Group has set up ‘Libreng Tawag’ centers to enable communities devastated by typhoon “Ondoy” to make free calls. There will be phone booths in every Libreng Tawag center. But calls will have a time limit. If a caller refuses to give up his booth, Erap will send 10 armed men to force him into giving up his booth to PLDT.

Erap to the Rescue
Entertainment editor Ricky Lo thanked former president Joseph Estrada for rescuing his sister and nieces who were trapped in their flooded residence at a village in San Juan. When Erap got Ricky’s call for help, he immediately sent three modern flotation devices: Jinggoy, Jude, and JV.

Ondoy’s Wrath
The National Disaster Coordinating Council says damages caused by tropical storm “Ondoy” has peaked at P4.79 billion. Analysts believe the country is about to witness the costliest reconstruction efforts in recent history, next only to the reconstruction of Vicki Belo, Madam Auring, and Ellen Lising.

Philippines Flooding The Queen Condoles
Queen Elizabeth II of England has extended her sympathies to the victims of tropical storm ‘Ondoy’ in the Philippines. The Queen said Britons were horrified when they saw the news on CNN. It was like staring at Camilla Parker Bowles’ photos for 10 straight minutes.
________
“One of the true tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency.”
~ Arnold H. Glasgow

Elsewhere…
GMA News.TVDatabase of missing persons

NDCC’s list of impassable roads as of September 30, 2009

Just Asking
Would ABS-CBN’s “Sagip Kapamilya” project extend help to distressed loyal Kapuso viewers?

Survey Says
Should Sen. Noynoy Aquino undergo a makeover as suggested by his sister, Kris?
NO, and please Kris, just shut the “f” up!: 53%
YES, He badly needs one: 27%
I Don’t Care: 20%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

Tropical storm Pepeng is on its way to the Philippines. Make sure your cell phones are fully charged. Stay safe. And thanks for the vote!

LOYALTY

enrile Enrile on Estrada
Before Senator Lacson delivered Part 2 of his privilege speech on former president Joseph Estrada, Senate President Juan Ponce Enrile took the floor to defend his good friend Erap, and extolled the ousted president’s sincerity, honesty, loyalty, and kindness. As Enrile was heaping praise after praise on Erap, people started wondering: Was he delivering a privilege speech or a eulogy?

Villar and Willie
Nacionalista Party spokesmen Gilbert Remulla and Atty. Adel Tamano flatly denied that Sen. Manny Villar has asked TV host Willie Revillame to be his running mate. The spokesmen described the issue as a “baseless rumor.” Observers described the denial as “damage control.”

Kris on Willie
Kris Aquino advised Willie Revillame to consider running first for mayor of Quezon City where he is registered before aspiring for a Senate seat… to which QC residents said, “Eh gusto ‘nung tao na mag-Senado eh, ba’t mo itutulak sa ‘min?”

boya Boy Picks Noy
Kris Aquino has confirmed that Boy Abunda, a known supporter of presidential aspirant Manny Villar, has shifted his allegiance to Noynoy Aquino. Just seconds after Kris made the confirmation on national TV, Senator Villar received this text message: “I know how you feel. I can relate. – Dr. Vicki Belo”

Boy Picks Noy II
A long time supporter of Sen. Manny Villar, talent manager Boy Abunda has reportedly shifted his allegiance to Sen. Noynoy Aquino. The multi-awarded TV host declined to elaborate on his decision but issued this brief statement to the press: “If you want a First Lady who looks like Cynthia Villar, you go vote for Manny. But if you want a First Lady who looks like Shalani Soledad, you go vote for Noynoy.”

noykrisss Kris & Noynoy
Kris Aquino says one-third of the revenues from her pending endorsements will go to Josh, one-third will go to Baby James, and one-third will go to Noynoy’s campaign kitty. Sought for comment on his wife’s statement, cager James Yap said, “Hindi ko nga po alam kung bakit ako, wala. ‘Tapos may one-third ang kay Kuya ‘Noy na pusa.”

argee Belo Sues Lawyer
Cosmetic expert Vicki Belo has sued lawyer Argee Guevarra for libel after he allegedly called her unflattering names like “Reyna ng Kaplastikan” and “Reyna ng Kapalpakan” on the social networking site Facebook. Belo is currently in a hospital though… because when she heard about the progressive lawyer’s Facebook attacks, she got so incensed, her nose started to combust.

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“Loyalty is a fine quality, but in excess it fills political graveyards.”
~ Neil Kinnock

FAMOUS EPITAPHS (Repost)

PBA09on96369

epitaph
Top 21 Epitaphs of Local Political and Entertainment Figures
(First published by the Professional Heckler in August 2008; Updated August 2009)

No. 21: Dr. Vicki Belo: “I melt with you.”

No. 20: Madam Auring: “Where she truly belongs.”

No. 19: Sen. Jamby Madrigal: “My relatives were right. Health is wealth.”

No. 18: Sen. Lito Lapid: “Tatagalugin ko na lamang ito para maintindihan ng lahat… I Lab U Ol!”

No. 17: Meralco chairman Manuel Lopez: “May liwanag ang (kabilang) buhay.”

No. 16: Annabelle Rama: “Kagagawan ito ni Wilma Galvante…dong!”

No. 15: Former Press Sec. Ignacio Bunye: “The epitaph you are reading has been edited. In fact, there are two epitaphs. One is fake, the other is the original.”

No. 14: Kris Aquino: “A caring mother. A loving daughter. A loyal wife. Promise, true ‘yan. Ask n‘yo pa si Boy. Ahahahah!”

No. 13: Jose Maria Sison: “In self-exile… forever.”

No. 12: Jocjoc Bolante: “Ready for his final mission: To fertilize the earth.”

No. 11: MILF chairman Al Haj Murad: “Finally… peace.”

No. 10: Legacy founder Celso De Los Angeles: “Ngayon kayo maghabol.”

No. 9: First Gentleman Mike Arroyo:Veni, vidi, vicky

No. 8: Pampanga Gov. Ed Panlilio: “Ssssh! Quiet. God is talking to me now.”

No. 7: Bro. Eddie Villanueva: “Five million thanks to all of you.”

No. 6: Sen. Manuel Villar: “Inside his final housing project.”

No. 5: Makati Mayor Jejomar Binay: “Ganito pala sa langit. Sana ganito rin sa Makati.”

No. 4: Sen. Mar Roxas: “Ramdam ko kayo! Ako? Ramdam n’yo?”

No. 3: Joseph Estrada: “That’s all Polk!”

No. 2: Cong. Jose De Venecia: “Reunited with his political career.”

And the No. 1 epitaph of a local political/showbiz figure… (tie)

President Arroyo: “Here lies…”

Mar Roxas: “‘Tang-inaaa! Ano ba ‘toooo!?!”
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“What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world remains and is immortal.”
~Albert Pine

Have a productive week!

2010

2010
The Top 12 Predicted Top 10 Topics of this Blog in May 2010

No. 12: The Top 10 Most Disgusting Political Advertisements

No. 11: The Top 10 Signs ABS-CBN Supported Presidential Bet Mar Roxas

No. 10: The Top 10 Reasons Why Dr. Vicki Belo Failed in Her Senatorial Bid

No. 9: The Top 10 Additional Benefits for Makati City Residents As Revealed By Winning Opposition Senator Jejomar Binay

No. 8: The Top 10 Real Reasons Why Every Presidential Candidate Was Present in Each of the Nine Healing Masses for Cory Aquino Two Weeks Before the Polls

No. 7: Ang Sampung Pinakabonggang Dahilan Kung Bakit Nanguna sa Halalang Pam-Party List ang Grupong “Ang Ladlad” – Promise!

No. 6: The Top 10 Alibis Given by Presidential Candidate Bro. Eddie Villanueva When His Flock of “Five Million” Voted for Someone Else… Again!

No. 5: The Top 10 A-List Celebrities Spotted at the Victory Party of Cong. Manny Pacquiao

No. 4: The Top 10 Things that Could Have Happened If Vice President Noli De Castro Rejected Sen. Manuel Villar’s Millions and Ran for President Instead

No. 3: The Top 10 Ways Korina Sanchez Reacted When Defeated Presidential Candidate Mar Roxas Reportedly Told Her: “Show’s over. And so are we.”

No. 2: The Top 10 Possible Challengers of Newly-Elected Pampanga Rep. Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo to the post of Prime Minister

And the No. 1 Predicted Top 10 topic of this blog in May 2010…

The Top 10 Reasons Why the Commission on Elections Declared A Failure of Automated Elections
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“Never make predictions, especially about the future.”
~ Casey Stengel

Awesome!
This is hilarious. Just change the name in the URL to personalize your own “tribute.” Thanks to Mel for this.
Here is the link.

‘NAKNAMPUTSCH

zelaya
Zelaya and Arroyo
Leftist Honduran President Manuel Zelaya, who wanted to extend his term beyond January 2010, was recently ousted in a military coup. Asked if the news alarmed her, President Arroyo replied, “Bakit?!? Leftisht ba ‘ko?”

Did you hear the news about the Honduran president who wanted to extend his term beyond 2010 but was ousted in a military coup instead? Here’s a piece of trivia about him: he is not an adopted member of the Honduran Army chief’s military class.

NEWS-US-HONDURAS World leaders denounced the military in Honduras for ousting President Zelaya in a coup. US President Barack Obama told the coup plotters, “Do that in America and you’ll be jailed!” Venezuelan leader Hugo Chavez warned them, “Do that in Caracas and you’ll be dead!” Philippine President Arroyo told them, “Do that in Manila and you’ll be senator!”

Sen. Lito Lapid was in the US when he first heard the news about the military coup that ousted Honduran President Zelaya. A concerned Lapid immediately phoned President Arroyo and told her, “Madam President, ‘wag na po tayong mag-Con Ass. Baka matulad kayo kay Presidente Zelaya. Hayun, pinatalsik ng AFP ng Honduras.”

elec Poll Automation
Heard about the consortium that won the Commission on Election’s poll automation contract? Barbados-based Smartmatic and its Filipino partner Total Information Management Corp. vowed to do quick counting of votes in 2010. Fast, speedy, rapid, swift counting of votes. In 48 hours, it’ll be over. They’re that quick! And to further give you an idea how fast this group works, they have already dissolved the consortium even before the polls could take place!

smartmatic Comelec Chief Jose Melo is confident Smartmatic and Total Information Management Corp. will set aside their “irreconcilable differences” and reunite for next year’s poll automation. Melo advised the two firms to try what he called “marriage of convenience.” You know, the same thing that will soon unite Mar and Korina.

Iran Polls
The unrest in Iran continues. Protesters want a re-election and not just a recount of votes amid cheating allegations. Yup, a re-election! You know who’s challenging the unpopular Mahmoud Ahmadinejad? Randy David!

Michael Jackson’s Wealth
According to the Wall Street Journal, a 2002 will by Michael Jackson specifies that his estate will be divided among his mother, three children and one or more charities. This early though, the King of Pop’s family is bracing for a court battle… as Jamby Madrigal files a case contesting her being disinherited from the late singer’s estate.

Belo and Kho
According to lawyer Lorna Kapunan, “the old Hayden Kho is dead” and the new Hayden “is trying to be better.” In fact, Hayden swore he would never record his sexual trysts with different women again. He’ll just let a videographer do it for him!

vb Belo and Kho II
Almost two weeks after sexy actress Katrina Halili filed separate complaints seeking to revoke the professional and business licenses of Hayden Kho, and Vicki Belo’s clinic respectively, the grapevine is ripe with rumors that Hayden is still in a state of shock… while Belo is in a state of decomposition.

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“The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion.”
~Albert Camus

Elsewhere…

Newsbreak asks… will the administration go for Noli or for Gibo in 2010?

Manila Standard’s Vic Agustin: Katrina Legarda vs. Loren Legarda.

20th Jaime V. Ongpin Awards for Excellence in Journalism: The Finalists.