PANIC ATTACKS

1EMMYS
THE 66th ANNUAL Primetime Emmy Awards nominations have been announced. For best drama series, ‘Game of Thrones’ got 19 nominations. In the acting category, Gigi Reyes got 20!

Senator Enrile’s ex-chief of staff Gigi Reyes was not able to attend her arraignment. She cited a history of Bell’s palsy seizure and coronary artery disease, and complained of chest pains, hypertension, headaches, difficulty in breathing, stiffening of hands and feet, fatigue, and palpitations. Attending physicians called it neurocirculatory asthenia. In layman’s terms, karma.

1Gigi
Gigi Reyes was not able to attend her arraignment. The hospital bulletin says Reyes lacks the appetite to eat and often gets dizzy – prompting Senator Enrile to issue a preemptive statement denying he’s the father.

This alleged plunderer spent less than five hours in jail. On Wednesday night, Gigi Reyes experienced anxiety attack – allegedly, so she was rushed to the Taguig-Pateros District Hospital. On Friday night, she was transferred to the Philippine Heart Center in Quezon City on suspicions she had a heart problem. Doctors immediately examined her and concluded she has a condition called, “still in love and couldn’t move on.”

1ABADRejected
Last Thursday, Budget Secretary Butch Abad offered to step down. However, President Aquino decided to reject the resignation. That was a bald decision, I mean bold.

Sec. Florencio ‘Butch’ Abad offered to resign. Had the President accepted it, there would only be eight Abads left in government.

Embattled Budget Secretary Butch Abad offered to quit his post. But President Aquino refused to let him go. Even Mrs. Henedina Abad was like, “Clingy much?!”

President Aquino has rejected the resignation of Budget Sec. Butch Abad. To be fair to Kris Aquino, she knows when to “graciously let go.”

Delicadeza
The Japanese politician who cried on TV while defending himself against allegations he pocketed people’s money has resigned. Too bad he’s not that close to the president.

The remorseful Japanese politician who was accused of corruption has resigned. When Jinggoy and Bong heard the news, they said, “’Buti na lang ‘di tayo Japanese.”

Happy
The lawyer of Janet Lim-Napoles says the pork barrel queen is happy now because, “She has given up her life for the Lord.” This morning, the Lord replied, “No, thanks!”

Brownouts
Several areas in Metro Manila and adjacent provinces are experiencing rotating brownouts. Or as the Aquinos would call it, “legacy.”

Reports say a number of barangays in Makati City will experience power interruption. Residents are advised to be ready with abaniko. The Binays are advised to be ready for blackout-related jokes.

1AussieArrested
Robert Edward Musa Cerantonio, an Australian national with alleged links to Iraqi extremist group ISIS was arrested in Lapu-lapu City in Cebu. Authorities however began to suspect that Cerantonio was Filipino when he started to complain of anxiety attack and asked for a wheelchair.

Again, Cowards
Four (not one as initially reported) frat men who were tagged as suspects in the fatal hazing of Benilde sophomore student Guillo Cesar Servando have left the country. The suspects who decided to flee were members of the Tago Gamma Phi fraternity.
——————————————————————
“The law should be a shield for the weak and powerless, not a club for the powerful.”
~Roy Barnes, former governor of Georgia, USA

Sound Bites
“I have decided not to accept his resignation. To accept his resignation is to assign to him a wrong and I cannot accept the notion that doing right by our people is wrong.”
~President Aquino on Sec. Butch Abad

Poll Results
Susuportahan mo ba ang anumang impeachment move laban kay President Aquino?
-NO. 54.22%
-YES. 28.57%
-Pag-iisipan ko muna. 17.21%

UP Fight!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: Television Academy, Philippine Daily Inquirer, Bloomberg.Com, Reuters. Herald Sun]

SPECIAL TREATMENT

1Senseless
AN 18-year-old student of the College of St. Benilde died due to fraternity hazing Saturday night. Malacañang has vowed to take swift action on the case athough nothing could be swifter than Tau Gamma Phi members fleeing the crime scene.

The grieving father of the hazing victim said his son wanted to back out but members of the Tau Gamma Phi Fraternity threatened to kill him if he’d quit. They did anyway.

1Nobel Prize
Rumors say the government is lobbying for a Nobel Peace Prize nomination for President Aquino. Noranians are hoping he gets snubbed.

On Tuesday, President Aquino admitted that he rejected the nomination of Nora Aunor for National Artist because of her drug conviction. Hi Mr. President, Year 2005 called. Mag-move on ka na raw!

Special Treatment
Detained lawmakers Jinggoy Estrada and Bong Revilla have reportedly violated rules on visitation. Insiders reveal the PNP Custodial Center is allowing it. New Bilibid Prison officials slammed the head of the Custodial Center for his lack of originality.

Rappler reported that food was never a problem for the alleged plunderers. Unconfirmed reports say prison guards allow visitors to throw meat or live chicken toward them.

Suspension
Aside from Jinggoy Estrada’s suspension, government prosecutors are also asking the anti-graft court to suspend Bong Revilla from the Senate. If he gets suspended, Revilla won’t be able to work as a senator – if at all.

Arraigned
Jinggoy Estrada was arraigned Monday on charges of plunder and 11 counts of graft. The senator entered a plea of “not Sexy.”

1ongSandiganbayad
Associate Justice Gregory Ong of the Sandiganbayan is facing dismissal for allegedly fixing a case that benefited pork barrel queen Janet Napoles in 2010 and receiving millions of pesos in return. He definitely puts the ‘gory’ in Gregory.

When asked about a photo of him with Janet Napoles and Jinggoy Estrada, Sandiganbayan Associate Justice Gregory Ong said he did not know that it was Napoles in the picture. Even Janet Napoles was like, “Ulol!”

Black Propaganda
UNA spokesman Toby Tiangco is in the news again. This time, he is talking about yet another alleged demolition job against Vice President Binay. The demolition job, he says, will attempt to link the Vice President to the controversial Disbursement Acceleration Program or DAP. Binay is not worried – but he appreciates Tiangco’s efforts to get media mileage.

I am in awe of this Toby Tiangco. He outscoops every single journalist all the time when it comes to alleged this and alleged that. He’s the Kit Tatad of his generation.

11Kris, Again
On Sunday, presidential sister Kris Aquino spoke at length about her failed romance with Quezon City Mayor Herbert Bautista. Her monologue was likened to a State of the Nation Address. There were no accomplishments to trumpet.

“I had to learn that love endures, that love forgives, that love can actually be quiet, love can be selfless, it doesn’t blame no matter how much you’re hurting. Love doesn’t look for revenge and love has no regrets,” Kris explained. After which, she revealed that she’s the new spokesperson for Hallmark Cards.

Admitting that she “truly loved” Herbert Bautista, presidential sister Kris Aquino said, true love lets go “graciously.” And on nationwide TV.

Kris Aquino revealed that Herbert Bautista broke her heart. But she wants to still be friends with him. And she is not angry. And for the first time, she did not cry on TV. And she wants him to be happy. And she hopes for the best for him. And she won’t forget the mayor because he taught her “how to love unconditionally.” Also, because he visited and said sorry to Bimby – and that meant a lot to her. In short, this is not yet over people. You’ve been warned.

Child Abuse
In the news a few weeks back was Cebu Puericulture Center and Maternity House – where a newborn baby boy’s mouth was “taped” by a nurse to prevent him from crying. The latest: both camps have agreed to settle. The mom accepted compensation, and the maternity house offered to do something good for the community – specifically, put a surgical tape on Kris Aquino’s mouth.
———————————————————————————————
“Sometimes, loneliness makes the loudest noise.”
~Aaron Ben-Ze’ev

Sound Bites
“Wala pala talagang somewhere down the road para sa inyo and you can’t stop crying because ‘yong future na inakala mo, ‘yong pinagdarasal mo, that future that kept you going, that dream just disappears.”
~Kris Aquino

“We are going to pursue all those people who are instrumental in the heinous murder of this particular individual. This should not continue.”
~Palace spokesman Edwin Lacierda on the death of a CSB student due to hazing

Poll Results
Sakaling ipag-utos ng Sandiganbayan ang pag-aresto kay Enrile, ano ang nararapat sa kanya?

-Camp Crame Detention Facility 80.46%
-Hospital Arrest 11.4%
-House Arrest 8.14%

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: PNP, Rappler, The Buzz]