GIBÔ AND PUNO

gibo_puno
I’VE HEARD people say that the tandem of Gilbert Teodoro and Ronaldo Puno will have a hard time catching up with the survey frontrunners. So how can they figure more prominently in the next survey? Here’s how.

Questionnaire No. 1200: September 19, 2009
Magandang umaga po. Kami po ang pinagsanib na puwersa ng Sssh W. Sssh (SWS) at Fools Asia. Nais lang po naming alamin ang inyong pananaw hinggil sa darating na halalan. Sa pamamagitan po nito ay matutukoy natin ang posibleng magwaging pangulo at pangalawang pangulo na manunungkulan mula 2010 hanggang 2016 (o higit pa, depende sa resulta ng isusulong nilang pagbabago sa Saligang Batas).

Tinitiyak po naming magiging lihim ang inyong mga sagot at tanging ang mga kinatawan lamang ng SWS, Fools Asia, at ng grupong kumumisyon sa survey ang makakabasa nito.

Bilang pagpapahalaga sa tinatawag na transparency, ang pag-aaral na ito ay pinondohan ng Partido Lakas CMD-Kampi o Palaka.

Panuto: Ikulong sa isang trapezoid (hindi bilog, hindi square… trapezoid!) ang titik na kumakatawan sa inyong piniling kasagutan.

1: Aling partido ang susuportahan mo sa darating na halalan?
A: Partido ng administrasyon
B: Partido Lakas CMD-Kampi
C: Partido ni Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo

2: Sa pangkalahatan, anong klaseng pangulo ang nais mong iboto?
A: Nanungkulan bilang Defense Secretary
B: Paboritong pamangkin ni Danding
C: Bar topnotcher

3: Sa pangkalahatan, anong klaseng pangalawang pangulo ang nais mong iboto?
A: Nanungkulan bilang kalihim ng DILG
B: Nagtrabaho upang matiyak ang pagkatalo ni Miriam Defensor-Santiago noong 1992
C: Naging political operator nina Ramos, Estrada, at Arroyo

4: Kung mananalo sina Gilbert Teodoro at Ronaldo Puno, at susumpa silang ipapakulong si Mikey Arroyo sa unang taon ng kanilang panunungkulan, iboboto mo ba sila?
A: Oo.
B: Why not?
C: Of course!

5: Sa mga patalastas ng mga pulitikong tatakbo sa halalang pampanguluhan, alin ang pinakagusto mo?
A: ‘Yong tungkol sa paghahanda sa sakuna o emergency preparedness
B: ‘Yong nagbibigay ng tips tungkol sa bagyo
C: Oo, ‘yun nga!

6: Sa mga patalastas ng mga pulitikong posibleng tumakbo sa pagkapangalawang pangulo, alin ang pinakagusto mo?
A: ‘Yong may bata sa ilalim ng puno kasama ang isang mamang makapal ang make up
B: ‘Yong pulis na may bagong batuta, bagong sapatos, at bagong chapa
C: Both

7: Ayon sa mga naunang survey, sina Noynoy Aquino, Manny Villar, at Joseph Estrada ang Top 3 picks ng mga respondents sa pagkapangulo. Ano ang masasabi mo?
A: Weh?!
B: Kalokohan ‘yan!
C: Bolahin mo ang kuya mong panot!

8: Anong katangian ng kandidato sa pagkapangulo ang ayaw na ayaw mo?
A: ‘Yung dinodoble ang pondo para sa C5 road project
B: ‘Yong na-convict dahil sa pandarambong!
C: ‘Yong dating congressman na isa sa legislative achievements ay ang paghahain ng panukalang batas na naglalayong ideklara as a special non-working holiday ang April 19 ng bawat taon sa lungsod ng Tarlac bilang pagdiriwang ng Tarlac City Day

9: Fertilizer fund scam, NBN ZTE deal, Macapagal Boulevard project, Northrail Project, the Jose Pidal accounts, Le Cirque dinner, Hello Garci controversy. Anu-ano ang mga ito?
A: Malay ko!
B: Absent ako sa school nang ituro ‘yan.
C: Whateverrr!

10: Kung ang bilangan ay kailangang dayain upang sina Gibô at Puno ay papanalunin, papayag ka ba?
A: Anytime!
B: Go! Go! Go! Todo na ‘to mga friends!
C: Sure! Magkano?

—-Hanggang dito na lamang ang mga tanong. Wala nang kasunod.—-

Paalala: Ang sobre ng pasasalamat sa paglahok n’yo sa survey na ito ay inyong matatanggap labinlimang araw matapos maisapubliko sa mga pahayagan, radyo, telebisyon, at Internet ang resulta ng pag-aaral.

Maraming salamat sa inyong oras at laging tandaan, ang inyong ginawa ay para sa ating bayan.

Mabuhay ang Pilipinas!

___________________
“Desperate maladies require desperate remedies.”
~ French Proverb

FAMOUS, INFAMOUS

null Unpopular

According to the Social Weather Stations, only 22% of Filipinos were satisfied with President Arroyo’s performance. The news did not come as a surprise to First Gentleman Mike Arroyo mainly because her performance has not satisfied him for years either.

Unpopular II

Only 1 out of 5 Filipinos are satisfied with President Arroyo’s performance… meaning, when she’s at the dinner table with the First Gentleman, Luli, Dato, and Mikey, she’s the only one satisfied with her performance.

Unpopular III

Dismissing President Arroyo’s historic-low approval rating, her allies stressed that the presidency is not about popularity, and cited her determination to fight poverty, corruption, and organizations like the Abu Sayyaf, the New People’s Army, and more recently, SWS and Pulse Asia.

GMA’s SONA

July 28, 2008 is a special day for both the administration and the opposition. President Arroyo will deliver her 8th State of the Nation Address on that day while the opposition is celebrating the 8th anniversary of its failure to unseat her.

Top 5 Rumors About President Arroyo’s Sona that Were Dismissed by Malacañang As Untrue

5: Her speechwriter refuses to review the draft speech because every time she does, she would always throw up.

4: People at the gallery who shall applaud her speech will get instant gas coupons per applause.

3: To show her empathy for the masses who are most affected by the skyrocketing cost of petroleum products, she’ll go to Batasan Complex on foot.

2: In 2001, she invited three Payatas children ak.a. “Bangkang Papel” boys to highlight her government’s campaign against poverty. This year, to underscore the government’s fight against terrorism, she has invited Jimmy Encarnacion, Angelo Valderrama, and Ces Drilon (minus the makeup).

And the No. 1 rumor about President Arroyo’s Sona that was dismissed by Malacañang as untrue…

1: Judy Ann Santos will deliver a speech right after the president’s Sona to explain the state of the nation further.

The Lucida-DS Case

United Shelter Health Products, the local distributor of the controversial Lucida-DS whitening drug refused to withdraw its products from the market and insisted that the Bureau of Food and Drugs’ claim that Lucida-DS contained insufficient glutathione was a mistake. Coincidentally, United Shelter has withdrawn its deal with Sen. Loren Legarda and insisted that the decision to get her as endorser was a mistake too.

Terrorists All?

Headline from Mindanao: Catholics in the South getting threats from suspected Abu Sayyaf
Headline in Manila: Pro-choice politicians getting threats from Catholic priests

Personal

Brian Gorrell, the controversial Australian-Canadian blogger and florist who exposed the debauchery and nefariousness of the so-called Gucci Gang has cited this blog in his recent blog post. His flattering compliment and endorsement have helped this site (The Professional Heckler) establish its own weekend readership record of sorts for the month of July. Thank you Brian. And keep on fighting.