FOR THE FOURTH TIME

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Impeachment Complaint vs. GMA
Losing NBN contract bidder Jose “Joey” De Venecia III said there “was nothing political” about his filing of a new impeachment complaint against President Arroyo. So ano ‘yon? Showbiz?!?

null Unknown to many, lawyer Oliver Lozano did try to submit his impeachment complaint ahead of the De Venecia group last Monday. Unfortunately though, he arrived late because his driver plied the C5 route instead of Edsa. It was too late for them to realize they were driving along the “road to nowhere.”

Losing NBN bidder Jose “Joey” De Venecia III, former congressman Rolex Suplico and lawyer Harry Roque led the filing of a new impeachment complaint against President Arroyo. Nine more and the opposition’s senatorial slate for 2010 is complete.

House Speaker Prospero Nograles and Minority Floor Leader Ronaldo Zamora both stressed, “The impeachment is a numbers game,” to which former president Joseph Estrada said, “Talaga? Kelan pa?!? Paano mag-franchise?”

President Arroyo is facing yet another impeachment complaint. That’s the fourth time her critics have tried to unseat her and the fourth time actor Rez Cortez tried to resurrect his career.

According to reports, Joey De Venecia woke up a bit early to file the impeachment complaint against Mrs. Arroyo. Close friends however claim, Joey had no sleep when he went to Batasan. He’s gotten used to it though. You know… habit. (Itanong n’yo pa kay Luli.)

GMA’s Ratings
The latest Social Weather Stations survey showed that 27% are satisfied and 54% are dissatisfied with President Arroyo’s performance. The remaining 19% replied, “Aba malay ko! Ako ba ang asawa niya?!”

Loren Online
Reports say Sen. Loren Legarda has formally launched her Friendster, Myspace, and Multiply accounts as well as her official website. But Legarda denied it had something to do with her political plans for 2010. It’s just her latest effort to… “romantically move on.”

Loren Online II
Reports say Sen. Loren Legarda has opened accounts in three social networking sites: Friendster, MySpace, and Multiply… to which Sen. Jamby Madrigal said, “Hmpf! Gaya-gaya! Matagal na kaya akong may Downelink!”

null Sulpicio vs. PAGASA
The Manila RTC junked the case filed by Sulpicio Lines against the local weather bureau, PAGASA. Sulpicio Lines has blamed the MV Princess of the Stars tragedy to PAGASA’s alleged inaccurate forecast… to which the court said, “Tandaan: Ang maniwala sa sabi-sabi walang bait sa sarili.”

Strict Policies null
I don’t know if you’ve heard the news but ABS-CBN News bigwig Maria Ressa has fired Umagang Kayganda showbiz segment host Ogie Diaz for reportedly violating their code of ethics. Diaz is just unfortunate he’s part of Ressa’s team. If he were part of the senate, he’d surely keep his post.

null Strict Policies II
For violating the news department’s code of ethics, tv host Ogie Diaz was sacked from Umagang Kayganda by ABS-CBN News boss Maria Ressa. If Ressa were head of ABS-CBN Entertainment, the Lopez network would be a virtual ghost town.

null I Witnessed…
… Sen. Jamby Madrigal and husband Eric Valade in our special screening of the Diane Lane-Richard Gere starrer Nights in Rodanthe at Powerplant Cinema earlier this evening. Jamby approached us and asked if she could attend the by-invitation-only screening although she didn’t have tickets. We let them in. She looked haggard. Para silang mag-tiya ng kanyang asawa. She likes movies pala. I might send her invites to our sneak preview of “Twilight.”

Finally…
After 23 days, I’ve claimed my 2008 Philippine Blog Awards trophy.

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Crime does not pay … as well as politics.
– Alfred Newman

CONDUCT UNBECOMING

Bribery and the Court of Appeals
The Supreme Court dismissed Court of Appeals Associate Justice Vicente Q. Roxas for violating the Judicial Code of Conduct in connection with the bribery scandal involving the Manila Electric Company. Roxas was a bit saddened by the decision but was nonetheless thankful that finally, he’ll have plenty of time to spend the millions of pesos he received from the power firm.

Bribery and the Court of Appeals II
In connection with the bribery scandal at the Court of Appeals, the Supreme Court has dismissed Associate Justice Vicente Q. Roxas, to whom Meralco said, “O, wag nang manisi. Bayad ka na!”

Bribery and the Court of Appeals III
Associate Justice Jose Sabio, the original whistleblower in the Meralco bribery scandal, was found guilty of simple misconduct and conduct unbecoming of a justice of the Court of Appeals. He was suspended for two months without pay. Again, that’s without pay. Sabio has just sent a text message to businessman Francis De Borja saying any amount that he’ll offer will now be accepted.

Bribery and the Court of Appeals IV
In connection with the Meralco bribery scandal at the Court Appeals, Associate Justice Vicente Q. Roxas was dismissed; Associate Justice Jose Sabio was suspended; Presiding Justice Conrado Vasquez was severely reprimanded; Associate Justice Bienvenido Reyes was reprimanded, and Associate Justice Myrna Dimaranan-Vidal was admonished. Hats off to Meralco for successfully corrupting the judiciary!

In Other News…
All priests in the 91 parishes of San Fernando City, Pampanga vowed to help gather 1 million signatures against the Reproductive Health (RH) Bill. In fact, several couples have already expressed support for the anti-RH campaign. They just couldn’t sign right now because they’re having an orgy.

Of the Reproductive Health Bill, San Fernando Archbishop Paciano Aniceto said, “Let’s fight the culture of death. Let’s fight the anti-life conspiracy.” That statement was released 10 minutes after Archbishop Aniceto finished watching X-Files 2.

Top 5 Suggested Slogans Rejected by the Archdiocese of San Fernando for the Anti-RH Bill Campaign

5: Sa ikauunlad ng bayan, maraming bata ang kailangan!

4: Ang Utos ni Yahweh: Humiga at Magparami

3: Isang Milyong Lagda Para sa Isang Milyong Bata

2: Dare to Bare: No to Condom!

And the number 1 suggested slogan rejected by the Archdiocese of San Fernando for their anti-RH Bill campaign…

1: Sign Up for Sex!

Chavit’s Appointment
Chavit Singson has been appointed as deputy National Security Adviser… mainly because his bodyguards and escorts have already outnumbered the police force in the entire Luzon.

MV Princess of the Stars’ Captain
The Regional Disaster Coordinating Council in Central Visayas has confirmed that the missing captain of the ill-fated MV Princess of the Stars is dead… officially eliminating Sulpicio Lines’ last potential scapegoat.

Belo and BF
Celebrity cosmetic expert Vicki Belo and boyfriend Dr. Hayden Kho are reportedly heading towards splitsville. Rumors say youthful Hayden has not been seeing Vicki lately because of his very tight schedule. So tight that it’s reportedly even tighter than Vicki Belo’s face.

ENDANGERED SPECIES

Hungry Filipinos
The latest Social Weather Stations survey showed that 16.3 percent of Filipinos experienced hunger at least once in the past three months. The figure could have been higher if the SWS surveyed those women enrolled at Slimmer’s World, Gold’s Gym, and Fitness First.

ARMM Polls
President Arroyo is supporting a proposal to postpone the August 11 elections in the Autonomous Region in Muslim Mindanao. Four ARMM lawmakers have also filed a bill to reset the polls. The postponement is seen to “open the highway” for peace, allow negotiations between the government and the MILF, and give some ARMM candidates another chance to abduct and raise additional campaign funds.

null Box-Office Behemoth
Raking in more than $155 million in its opening weekend, The Dark Knight shattered box office records in North America. Inspired by the success of the Heath Ledger–starrer, local producers are coming up with their own superhero movies casting the likes of Royet Padilla, John Regala, Mark Anthony Fernandez, Bernard Palanca and the members of the Gucci Gang as villains.

Solon vs. Sulpicio Exec
Reports say Cavite Rep. Elpidio Barzaga Jr. has called for the arrest of Sulpicio Lines vice president Edgar Go over the shipping firm’s lack of commitment to refloat MV Princess of the Stars. When Go heard the news, he instructed his lawyer to prepare attempted kidnapping charges against the congressman.

null Animals Gone Missing
The Department of Environment and Natural Resources says half of the country’s fauna has become endangered or extinct… with the exception perhaps of the government’s crocodile population, which continues to grow each day.

JUNKED!

null Sulpicio’s Petition Denied

The Manila Regional Trial Court (RTC) has junked Sulpicio Lines’ petition for a temporary restraining order against the Board of Marine Inquiry’s probe into the June 21 sinking of the MV Princess of the Stars. But Sulpicio Lines is unperturbed. In fact, it will sue the Manila RTC next.

Senate Attendance

Sen. Jamby Madrigal was dubbed the “most tardy senator” during the first regular session of the 14th Congress after she was marked late for 24 days. That’s understandable though because the mere thought of losing her millionaire aunt’s vast fortune has been giving her sleepless nights.

null Jamby’s Rich Aunt

Sen. Jamby Madrigal counted at least 18 local corporations owned by her late aunt, Consuelo “Chito” Madrigal. But she’s not done counting yet, she needs to prepare for work… late na siya.

De La Paz Quits SSS

Refusing to blame politics (political observers think otherwise), Corazon De La Paz quit her post as president of the Social Security System citing health reasons. But look at her picture. I think she needs a more plausible excuse.

Bishops vs. “The Lord”

Sixty-nine of the 80 bishops who attended the plenary assembly of the Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines last weekend signed a document expressing support for the plunder case filed by Pampanga governor Fr. Ed Panlilio against suspected “jueteng lord” Rodolfo “Bong” Pineda. The 11 bishops who didn’t sign requested for an extension to decide – or until such time that the construction of their churches is completed.

SLOGANS FOR SULPICIO LINES

null VS. null

Sulpicio Lines filed Tuesday a civil case against Del Monte Philippines for its alleged failure to declare as toxic the chemical endosulfan that was loaded into the ill-fated MV Princess of the Stars. With separate cases against the Board of Marine Inquiry and PAGASA, Sulpicio Lines has now filed three different suits in less than a month. Sulpicio Lines owners refused to confirm rumors they’re shutting down their shipping business to start a law firm instead.

null Fare Hike

The National Economic and Development Authority has approved the LTFRB’s recommendation to increase fare rates for jeepneys, taxis, and buses. Fare rate hike is the “in” thing these days – except perhaps in Sulpicio Lines’ ticket offices.

Top 5 Suggested Slogans Rejected by Sulpicio Lines

5: Sulpicio Lines: Where the most prayerful passengers ride

4: Ride One, Ride All: Shake, Rattle, and Roll

3: A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step: “Abandon ship!”

2: We’ve got SOUL, we’ve got PEACE, we’ve got YOU – Sulpicio!

And the No. 1 suggested slogan rejected by Sulpicio Lines…

1: Sakay na sa Sulpicio Lines: From Sibuyan to Babuyan and anywhere the wind blows, it doesn’t really matter!

Arenas in RP null

NBA superstar Gilbert Arenas who was recently in Manila for an Adidas promo tour was reportedly in awe of the UAAP cage wars especially after watching the Ateneo-La Salle game last Sunday. Arenas was in awe because players from both schools were “multiracial.”

JDV is Back

Fresh from his European and South American trips, Pangasinan Rep. Jose De Venecia declared that he is now prepared to testify before the Senate on the ZTE-NBN deal controversy. Wait, sino nga ulit siya?

null Seafoods Are Safe in Albay

Albay Governor Joey Salceda led some local officials in eating seafood to disprove rumors that marine life in Albay is contaminated following the onslaught of typhoon “Frank.” Albay folks remain skeptical though because, when they look at their governor, it’s really difficult to say whether he has consumed something contaminated or not.

TRAGIC

The Sulpicio Probe

The Board of Marine Inquiry (BMI) investigating the June 21 sinking of the MV Princess of the Stars is appealing to President Arroyo to give it another week to complete its probe. Mrs. Arroyo is reportedly keen on granting the request because she can empathize with the BMI. For years, she has been appealing to the public to give her another chance to complete her term.

Even before the Board of Marine Inquiry could finish its probe, congressmen entered the picture and started their own investigation into the sinking of MV Princess of the Stars. Now that’s tragic.

null Cebu Representative Antonio Cuenco defended the House inquiry, citing the “urgency” of the matter. Oh yeah, thanks for reminding us. It’s almost 2010.

Sulpicio vs. the Government null

Sulpicio Lines has sued the Board of Marine Inquiry accusing it of causing the negative publicity against the shipping company, resulting to a tarnished reputation, damaged business standing and the object of public contempt and ridicule. Sulpicio Lines’ owners are becoming more despicable each day, they start to make Meralco execs look like angels.

Sulpicio Lines says the Board of Marine Inquiry has caused and added to the negative publicity against the shipping company, resulting to a tarnished reputation, damaged business standing and the object of public contempt and ridicule. To cushion the impact of the bad publicity, Sulpicio Lines is seeking the help of Meralco’s PR specialists.

null Sulpicio vs. PAGASA

Sulpicio Lines has filed a 4 million-peso civil suit against PAGASA for wrongful weather forecast. Asked to comment on the civil suit, PAGASA Director Prisco Nilo said, “We didn’t see it coming. It was hard to predict.”

Losers in Government

GMA’s election lawyer, Romulo Macalintal said there’s nothing wrong with appointing election losers to executive posts. I agree. If you could have a defeated candidate as chief executive, why not poll losers in lower government offices?

null Pastors and Porn?

Manila Representative Bienvenido Abante and 11 other pastors of the Baptist organization Bible Mode sued the publishers of popular men’s magazines FHM (Summit Media) and Maxim (ABS-CBN Publishing) for supposed pornographic content. The pastors say the magazines “have no educational (or) artistic value, (and are) intended to draw lust and arouse prurient interest.” Apparently, the pastors have been reading those magazines. Otherwise, how in hell would they know so much about the content?

SULPICIO LINES PRESENTS…

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Top 15 Favorite Movies of Sulpicio Lines

15: Dude, Where’s My Body?

14: Dances With Waves

13: Something’s Gotta Grieve

12: There’s Something About Sulpi

11: 20,000 Deaths Under the Sea

10: Hellboat

9: Harry Porter and the Cargo of Endosulfan

8: How To Lose A Guy Relative In Two Days

7: Look Who’s Sinking

6: Sapul, Sulpicio, Saklolo

5: Fantastic For-malin

4: You’ve Got Whale!

3: What Happens in Burias

2: Bukas Lulubog ang mga Tao

And the No. 1 favorite movie of Sulpicio Lines…

1: Four Sinking and A Thousand Funerals

PHENOMENAL PACQUIAO

Manny Pacquiao Wins

Manny Pacquiao snatched the WBC lightweight title from David Diaz. Diaz reportedly earned 800 thousand dollars from the fight, his biggest paycheck ever. But that’s still nothing compared what GMA 7 & Solar Sports earned.

Mexican-American David Diaz gave no excuses after losing his WBC lightweight title. If Diaz were a Pinoy politician, Pacquiao would now be facing poll fraud allegations.

Filipino boxing hero Manny Pacquiao won his fourth world title yesterday. Pacquiao’s impressive victory has silenced David Diaz, Diaz’ American supporters, the Mexican community, – and Recah Trinidad.

null Postscript to a Sea Tragedy

A day after MV Princess of the Stars sank, Sulpicio Lines blamed the Philippine Coast Guard for the mishap. The next day, the management said it was an “act of God.” Then last Friday, the company was blaming the local weather bureau, PAG-ASA. Surviving relatives of the ill-fated ship’s passengers must prepare: they’re next.

Sulpicio Lines is suing PAG-ASA for gross negligence. If the court dismisses the case, Sulpicio Lines is suing typhoon “Frank.”

Sulpicio Lines has blamed nature, the Philippine Coast Guard, and the weather bureau for the maritime mishap that struck its vessel Princess of the Stars. The company’s so confused it’s blaming everybody. Now that would be much easier if Sulpicio Lines’ owners were leftists. They’ve only got GMA to blame.

Gloria and Obama null

Democratic presidential candidate Sen. Barack Obama sent President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo a letter of apology for being unable to meet with her because of his busy schedule. Simply put, she’s not a priority.

Sen. Barack Obama apologized to President Arroyo for being unable to meet with her. The letter of apology was dated June 24, two days before their expected meeting. Simply put, pinaghandaan talaga ni Obama – ang ‘di nila pagkikita.

null Gloria and McCain

President Arroyo met today with Republican presidential candidate John McCain in Washington DC. The meeting lasted for only about 15 minutes mainly because the 72-year-old McCain has so many other things to do in life with only a few years left here on Earth.

Who’s Your Daddy?!? null

Last week, ABS-CBN chair Eugenio “Gabby” Lopez III said reporter Ces Drilon would still have to face administrative sanction for venturing into forbidden territory in violation of her bosses’ orders. Asked what could be the possible penalty, Lopez answered, “it might just be spanking.” “In that case, I will do it myself.” And we thought Ces has suffered enough at the hands of her captors.

null ABS-CBN chair Gabby Lopez said Ces Drilon would be sanctioned for violating her bosses at the news department. Asked what could be the possible penalty, Lopez answered, “it might just be spanking; I will do it myself.” In another story dismissed by Lopez as totally unrelated, study showed more female employees of ABS-CBN are sanctioned for various offenses than males, 10 to 1.

ABS-CBN Chair Gabby Lopez said Ces Drilon would have to be sanctioned for “endangering the lives of others” in Sulu. See the double standard there? Ces Drilon “endangered” the lives of others and she’ll be punished. Willie Revillame and Wowowee “took” the lives of others and he was rewarded.

Mike Arroyo’s Birthday null

First Gentleman Jose Miguel Arroyo celebrated his 62nd birthday in New York on Saturday, June 28 with only his son Mikey and wife, President Arroyo beside him. But he still had so much fun… primarily because he felt he was with a clone and a clown.

SULPICIO AND MERALCO

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The M/V Princess of the Stars Disaster

The sinking of M/V Princess of the Stars was Sulpicio Lines’ fourth maritime disaster. To keep up with its reputation, the Chinese owner will rename the company soon, and call it Soulpicio Lines.

The pilot episode of Harapan, ABS-CBN’s new late-night show hosted by Korina Sanchez and Ted Failon asked the question: “Sino ang dapat sisihin sa paglubog ng M/V Princess of the Stars?” Sulpicio Lines claimed the Coast Guard allowed it to sail. The Coast Guard said PAGASA’s forecast wasn’t accurate. Ted and Korina believe Winston Garcia and the GSIS were to blame.

Top 5 “If Sulpicio Lines were Meralco” Statements

5: It would defy any Coast Guard order to postpone its trip.

4: It wouldn’t compensate surviving relatives of the victims unless the Supreme Court rules otherwise.

3: It would release a series of prints ads explaining that sea tragedies also happen in Cebu, Davao and other areas where commercial sea vessels operate.

2: It would use its radio and TV stations to criticize the typhoon.

And the No. 1 “If Sulpicio Lines were Meralco” statement…

1: Judy Ann Santos would be on television right now comparing a ship sailing in stormy seas to a melting block of ice.