20 05 2012

Lady Gaga in Manila
THE PASAY CITY government is monitoring the concert of pop star Lady Gaga amid fears of some groups that she’ll perform “evil” acts. I wonder who is monitoring the day-to-day activities of the Pasay City government.

Ultra-conservative religious groups want Lady Gaga’s concert stopped. They insist that the pop superstar symbolizes “everything that is corrupt and demonic.” In other words, she has the potential to succeed in politics.

Some groups are calling for a ban on Lady Gaga’s concert in Manila. They say that Lady Gaga is “satanic;” her songs are blasphemous, and her concert tickets are too expensive.

Protesters are seeking the help of SM Mall of Asia Arena owner Henry Sy in an effort to stop the concert of Lady Gaga. The tycoon couldn’t release a statement yet because he was reportedly busy watching the latest concert DVDs of Metallica and Iron Maiden.

Former Manila Mayor Lito Atienza says Lady Gaga is known for her offensive racy getups. Somebody must tell Atienza that his forever floral shirts are equally offensive.

The MMDA warned motorists to avoid all roads near the venue of Lady Gaga’s concert. Traffic’s going to be HELL.

Popstar Lady Gaga has arrived in Manila. Her concert will push through despite protests from the Taliban some ultra-conservative groups.

Just Married
Facebook founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg has wed longtime girlfriend, 27-year-old Priscilla Chan. In a congratulatory message, Beijing praised Zuckerberg for choosing “one of our own.”

Mark Zuckerberg has wed longtime girlfriend Priscilla Chan. The Facebook founder denied he’s running in the coming elections.

The CEO of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg and his girlfriend of nine years Priscilla Chan just got married. There was this awkward moment during the exchange of vows. When Zuckerberg said, “for richer or for poorer,” the priest interrupted, “Poorer?!? Ulol!”

Mark Zuckerberg, 28 has married his longtime girlfriend, 27-year-old Priscilla Chan. Zuckerberg just changed his Facebook status from “In a relationship” to “It’s complicated.”

Rumors have it Priscilla Chan fell in love with Mark Zuckerberg because he would always ‘poke’ her.

Geeky Mark Zuckerberg just got hitched. There’s still hope President Aquino. There’s still hope.

The founder of Facebook just got married – while the founder of Friendster just got forgotten.

Representative Rama?
Feisty talent manager Annabelle Rama is reportedly running for a Congressional seat in Cebu. Cebuanos are now running away from the province.

No Bribe
A recent study showed 90 percent of Filipinos do not resort to bribes or grease money when transacting business with government offices. The rest were LTO customers.

Heart and Chiz
Rumors say Sen. Francis Joseph “Chiz” Escudero and young actress Love Marie “Heart” Evangelista are dating. They are having some R&R. Rebound Romance.

Last Saturday on showbiz talk show Startalk, Heart Evangelista was asked if there’s truth to rumors she and Chiz were dating The actress replied, “We’re good friends. He’s brilliant. I enjoy talking to him.” Or in showbiz terms, “Yes. I like him. Sana nga.”

Top 5 Rejected Portmanteaus for future couple Francis Joseph “Chiz” Escudero and Love Marie “Heart” Evangelista

No. 5: Love + Francis = Locis

No. 4: Marie + Francis = Mais

No. 3: Francis + Marie = Marie Franc

No. 2: Marie + Joseph = Marioseph

And the No.1 rejected portmanteau for Chiz and Heart…

Francis + Heart = Fart
“Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.”
~Edward Gibbon

Quotes Quiz: Who said…
“’Yung isang kanta ‘yung ‘Born This Way,’ it’s also telling the young people na you can do anything you want anyway you are born this way. It is not only immoral, it is a blasphemy. The Lord Jesus Christ is being maligned here and mocked.”

A: Former Manila representative Benny Abante Jr.
B: Former Manila Mayor Lito Atienza
C: Archbishop Emeritus Oscar Cruz
D: DepEd Sec. Bro. Armin Luistro

Have a productive week ahead!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

Answer to Quotes Quiz:
A: Benny Abante Jr.