iPerished

STEVEN PAUL JOBS
(February 24, 1955 – October 5, 2011)

THE CO-FOUNDER OF APPLE is dead at 56. Another reminder that America is indeed in recession. The US just keeps losing JOBS.

Steve Jobs passed away on the same day Sarah Palin announced that she’s NOT seeking the Republican Party’s presidential nomination. In death, hope.

The family of Steve Jobs said the Apple co-founder “died peacefully.” It helped that Sarah Palin made that announcement while he was dying.

There were actually two deaths on the same night. RIP Steve Jobs. RIP Sarah Palin’s political career.

Steve Jobs succumbed to pancreatic cancer. Apparently, an apple a day did not keep the doctor away. May he rest in peace.

Steve Jobs’ death was announced by Apple. Nope, prior to the official announcement, there was no leak whatsoever.

The co-founder of Snapple is dead. I mean, Apple. Damn this autocorrect.

Steve Jobs is dead. This just in: St. Peter just announced that heaven will go digital soon.

Netizens have hailed Steve Jobs, the visionary, for thinking “different.” So the next time President Aquino decides NOT to visit typhoon-ravaged communities, do not oppose or criticize him. You could be interfering with a vision.

Steve Jobs, the co-founder of Apple is dead. Communications Secretary Ricky Carandang and his staff are deeply saddened by his passing. His Apple computers were a huge part of their lives.

Steve Jobs inspired people to think different, and to think ahead of others. Or as Vice President Binay would call it, “2016.”
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“Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice.”
~Steve Jobs

Elsewhere
How to live before you die: Steve Jobs’ commencement address at Stanford University (2005)

Time: Technology’s Great Reinventor: Steve Jobs (1955-2011)

Have a safe weekend!

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BARACK OBINAY


Birthday Boy Binay
Makati City Mayor Jejomar Binay celebrated his 66th birthday yesterday, November 11. Residents of Makati couldn’t believe Binay was only 66 years old… considering that he’s been the mayor of Makati for like 75 years.

Supporters of Makati City Mayor Jejomar Binay are comparing him to US President-elect Barack Obama. They’re both from the opposition, they’re both “black,” and they’ve been both snubbing President Arroyo.

Makati City Mayor Jejomar Binay has announced his intention to run for president in 2010. Binay is reportedly hoping to become this country’s Barack Obama. Guess who’s running as his vice president? Jovito Salonga.

What else does the grapevine say? Oh, there’s the rumor that Korina Sanchez has expressed willingness to become Obama’s Oprah and that Archbishop Oscar Cruz wants to be the local version of the Reverend Jesse Jackson. As for the role of Joe the Plumber, Binay might pick obscure characters like Joe the Taho Vendor, Joe the Taxi Driver, or maybe something more obscure like, Joe the Former Speaker.

Makati City Mayor Jojo Binay has declared his bid for the presidency in 2010. When Panfilo Lacson heard this, he told his staff, “Research n’yo nga ang budget ng Makati for its road projects.”

Followers of Mayor Jejomar Binay are comparing him to US-president elect Barack Obama whose victory was eagerly predicted (less than a day after the voting) by its supporters in the media: CNN, MSNBC, NBC, ABC and CBS. In fact, even before yesterday’s Makati City rally could finish, Binay’s win was already predicted by ABS-CBN, the Philippine Daily Inquirer, the Daily Tribune, and Malaya.

Makati City Mayor Jejomar Binay is projecting himself as the Barack Obama of the Philippines. Now hear this: Loren Legarda wants to be the next Sarah Palin, a simple woman whose hobbies include shooting moose in Alaska. In fact, just to learn how to shoot, Loren’s willing to reconcile with Tony Leviste.

Yesterday, November 11, Makati City came out with full-page newspaper advertisements hailing Mayor Jejomar Binay’s rags-to-riches story. Not to be upstaged is former senator John Osmeña who’s also coming out with full-page ads on his drags to bitches story.

Top 5 Rejected Slogans for Mayor Jejomar Binay’s Presidential Campaign

5: Kung nais mo ng liwanag, iboto ang DILIM.

4: Feeling tired? Looking haggard? Sagot ni Binay ang yellow card!

3: Gilagid man ay maitim, malinis naman ang hangarin.

2: No Retreat, No Surrender, Kahit May Kasong Plunder!

And the No.1 rejected slogan for Mayor Jejomar Binay’s presidential campaign…

1: Sinimulang pandarambong sa munisipyo
Ipagpapatuloy ko sa palasyo!
(Promise, may share uli kayo.
Ooops, joke lang po ito!)

(This post was featured on TV5’s TEN:The Evening News on November 12, 2008.)

Miriam Too?
Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago says she might consider running for president “just to be a spoiler” then added that the idea of seeking another Senate term already makes her yawn… to which Sen. Lito Lapid said, “Ay oo, masamang maghikab sa session. Kaya ako, itinutulog ko na lang.”

God and Showbiz
Asked about her recent break up with (alleged) boyfriend, Sam Milby, young actress Anne Curtis said, “Kailangan niyang mag-concentrate muna do’n sa relationship niya with God,” to which God said, “Whaaaatever!”

___________
The ambitious are forever followed by adulation for they receive the most pleasure from flattery.
–Oliver Goldsmith

WHO CARES?


Palin and the Prankster
US vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin fell victim to a prank caller who identified himself as French president Nicolas Sarkozy. After six minutes of phone conversation, Palin became suspicious that it was not the French leader she was talking to when the person on the other line began asking, “Would you like to lead by one million? ‘Yong dagdag. ‘Yong dagdag.”

Filipinos on US Polls
A Social Weather Stations survey showed that 3 out of 4 Filipinos don’t care who wins in the 2008 US presidential election. But 3 out of 4 survey respondents do care who wins between Nadia Montenegro and Cristy Fermin.

JDV Signs Complaint
After weeks of dilly-dallying, Cong. Jose De Venecia has finally endorsed the impeachment complaint filed by his son against President Arroyo. A Social Weather Stations survey showed that 3 out of 4 Filipinos don’t care. Period.

Bolante’s Condition
Reports say several tests conducted on former agriculture undersecretary Jocjoc Bolante revealed the presence of multiple gastric ulcers, esophagitis and erosive gastritis – a relatively new medical condition collectively known as “whaaatever!”

Angara on Movies
Saying Filipinos need “psychological and cultural entertainment” in times of despair, Sen. Edgardo Angara asked the film industry to come up with “artistic and creative” projects. Rising to Angara’s challenge, the film industry has tapped Jocjoc Bolante for a series of acting workshops.

Upright Cabinet Members
Former senator and Marcos trade minister Vicente Paterno said the only “upright” Cabinet members were Social Welfare Secretary Esperanza Cabral and Defense Secretary Gilbert Teodoro. Cabral said the observation was “flattering.” Teodoro said it was “inspiring.” Justice Secretary Raul Gonzales said it was “seditious.”

“Euro Generals”
After closing its investigation on the case of the “euro generals,” the Philippine National Police sent the case to the Office of the Ombudsman – the government agency that conducts “probes to nowhere.”

Who’s Your Daddy?
Nasty rumors say an actor-senator is the real father of young actress Jennylyn Mercado’s baby. It’s difficult to identify the father though because the Senate has 23 actors.

_________
The price of apathy towards public affairs is to be ruled by evil men.
–Plato