5 04 2013

HERE’S SOMETHING light for the weekend: an updated version of my original post published in 2011 – Pickup Lines from Famous Filipinos.

Jose Rizal: Okay lang na ma-exile… basta sa puso mo.

Chiz Escudero: Ngiti mo pa lang… lasing na ako.

JV Ejercito: Totoo ang mga narinig mong tsismis! Ang lahat sa akin… mataba.

Andres Bonifacio: Hindi lang cedula ang kaya kong punitin.

Bro. Eddie Villanueva: Trip mo bang sumigaw ng “Oh my God!!!” ngayong gabi?

Grace Poe: Inaamin ko po, ako ay sobrang magalang. Pero sa ‘yo… pababastos ako.

Juan Ponce Enrile: Gusto mong maging happy?

Gen. Gregorio Del Pilar: Sabi nila, mahusay raw akong mangabayo.

President Noynoy Aquino: Matagal-tagal ko na ring ‘di napapaputok ‘tong baril ko. Gusto mong subukan?

Loren Legarda: Umamin ka! Nakita mo lang ako, naging luntian na ang paligid mo!

Cynthia Villar: Binasted ka ba ng nililigawan mo? Don’t worry, I’ll nurse your broken heart.

Meralco Chairman Manny Pangilinan: Lights on or lights off?

BIR Commissioner Kim Henares: Para sa ‘yo… handa kong ibuwis ang buhay ko.

GMA7’s resident meteorologist Nathaniel ‘Mang Tani’ Cruz: Ayon sa satellite data… may PAGASA raw ako sa ‘yo.

Ferdinand Marcos: Promise, hindi lang kamay na bakal ang matigas sa akin.

Jack Enrile: Papatay ako para sa ‘yo.

Risa Hontiveros: Puwede ba kitang Akbayan? (Syet, ang korni!)

Nancy Binay: Kung may maitim kang balak sa akin… go lang! Anytime…

Jamby Madrigal: Kung sasali ako sa pa-raffle sa Twitter, gusto ko ikaw ang premyo.

GomBurZa: Familiar ka sa phrase na “thrice the fun?”

Presidential sister Viel Aquino-Dee:

And finally…
Dick Gordon: Kung ipapahimas ko ba ang pangalan ko… hihimasin mo? Boom!

SECRET ACCOUNTS: According to the Philippine Center for Investigative Journalism, outgoing senator Manuel Villar and outgoing San Juan representative and senatorial candidate JV Ejercito both own “secret offshore corporations” in the British Virgin Islands. Ejercito neither confirmed nor denied the report. Instead, he blamed the allegation on his enemies – the facts.

PCIJ’s Malou Mangahas said JV Ejercito “evaded questions” on his “offshore accounts” in the Caribbean. Ejercito instead questioned the “timing” of the story as “highly suspicious.” To which Jinggoy Estrada said, “Hindi rin.”

The PCIJ also uncovered that businessmen Alan Ortiz and Jesus Alcordo had secret accounts in the British Virgin Islands which were not declared in their SALNs. Ortiz and Alcordo wished they were senatoriables so they could also blame politics.

The same PCIJ report says Imee Marcos owns secret accounts also in the British Virgin Islands. The report shocked the former congresswoman. All along, Imee thought she set up those accounts in the Cayman Islands.

Sen. Manny Villar also owns offshore accounts in the Caribbean. His wife, Cynthia Villar was not surprised at all saying, “Hindi naman kailangang ganon’n kagaling para magkaroon ka ng account doon.”
“I am a politician which means I am a liar and a crook. When I am not kissing babies I am stealing their lollipops.”
~Tom Clancy

Tweet of the Weak: Lost In Translation
Apparently, Team Koko Pimentel thought people in Pangasinan spoke Kapampangan


Have a great weekend!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.



4 05 2012

MONDAY, April 30 was the deadline for the filing of statement of assets, liabilities, and net worth… otherwise known as “Test of Honesty Day.”

President Aquino declared a net worth of more than P54.999 million in 2011. His previous net worth was P50.194 million. Under this administration, everything is really going up.

President Aquino’s net worth for 2011 was P54.999 million. Vice President Jejomar Binay’s net worth for the same year was P65.144 million. Binay is more valuable than Aquino.

Vice President Binay’s assets include 12 real properties, a flower shop business, a Ford Club Wagon, a Toyota Land Cruiser, and dozens of prepaid cellphones for the text blast.

Based on his SALN, Sarangani Rep. Manny Pacquiao is still the richest Filipino congressman. He has a personal fortune of P1.352. billion. His ‘assets’ include sports utility vehicles, houses, buildings, lots, and bank accounts. Under ’liability’ he wrote, “Chavit Singson.”

Of the 286 members of the Lower House, at least 279 are multimillionaires. By the way, have you been to the House of Representatives? It’s in Batasan Hills, Quezon City. Don’t worry, the building is easily recognizable. There’s a huge sign that reads, “This is where your taxes go.”

Leaders of the House of Representatives have denied requests for copies of the full version of the congressmen’s SALNs… making them potential candidates for magistrates of the Supreme Court.

A Social Weather Stations survey revealed that the number of poor Filipinos surged to 11.1 million or an increase of 10 percentage points in the first quarter of 2012. The number of poor people increased in almost all areas of the country… except in Batasan Complex.

Also Poor
Compared to his multimillionaire colleagues in the Lower House, Anakpawis Rep. Rafael Mariano made a measly P46,946.73 in 2011. That’s conduct unbecoming of a member of Congress.

What Poor?
A recent survey showed that the number of poor Filipinos grew by 10 percent. The MMDA has volunteered to help reduce the number by erecting huge walls to hide them.

BREAKING: Beauty queen Miriam Quiambao is defending the urban poor against the MMDA’s “beautification” project saying poverty is not a sin but a lie from the devil.

On Thursday, May 3, former senator Juan Miguel Zubiri was sworn in as a member of Partido ng Masang Pilipino (PMP). As Zubiri’s swearing-in was taking place, Koko Pimentel was swearing.

Juan Miguel Zubiri apologized to PMP chairman emeritus and former president Joseph Estrada for criticizing him when he was still Bukidnon representative. He didn’t say though if he would apologize to Koko Pimentel for depriving him a Senate seat.

Ex-senator Migz Zubiri has apologized to ex-president Erap Estrada for criticizing him several years ago. Zubiri has yet to apologize though for that lousy “Boom Tarat Tarat” campaign jingle.

Former senator Juan Miguel Zubiri says he is joining Partido ng Masang Pilipino because he supports its stand on issues like poverty alleviation, national sovereignty, and environmental protection. In short… ‘yeah right!’

Labor Day Rally
Despite the heavy rain, militants held a Labor Day rally at Don Chino Roces Bridge (formerly Mendiola Bridge) Tuesday. The demonstrators tried but failed to go all the way to Malacañang. Well, it’s not that easy. Just ask Manny Villar.

Mrs. Villar
Everyone’s talking about the TV ad of Villar Foundation, Inc. The premature campaigning advertisement features former Congresswoman Cynthia Aguilar-Villar, wife of Sen. Manny Villar. The title of the ad is “Walang kadala-dala.”

Rumors say former congresswoman Cynthia Villar will run for senator next year. Just so you know, Mrs. Villar is a member of the rich Aguilar clan of Las Piñas. In fact, the jingle for her next TV ad goes something like, “Nakaligo ka na ba sa dagat ng pera?”

Reports say a group of former drug dependents and alcoholics is applying for accreditation in order to participate in next year’s party-list elections. The Commission on Elections will likely junk the application since the group is already well-represented in Congress.

In Mexico
A 32-year-old woman from Coahuila state is reportedly pregnant with nine babies. You know what that means? A reality show!

Reports that a Mexican woman is pregnant with nine babies were found to be a hoax. Authorities said the mother was not even pregnant. She told lies that were so believable. She’s got a bright future in politics.
“One day the poor will have nothing to eat but the rich.”
~ Protest Sign

Have a safe and happy weekend!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

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