“We respect the Supreme Court, we survived even when they took everything from us, including our Dad’s life- & we will survive even this.”
~TV host Kris Aquino reacting to the Supreme Court’s recent ruling ordering the distribution of Hacienda Luisita land to the farmers

Heckler: Si Mara ka ba ng ‘Mara Clara?’
Kris Aquino: Bakit?
Heckler: Eh kasi, api-apihan ang drama mo.

“My order to the Bureau of Immigration is to respect the watch list order. We have the right to exhaust remedies against the TRO.”
~Justice Sec. Leila De Lima

Heckler: Kapatid ka ba ng Presidente?
Secretary De Lima: Bakit?
Heckler: Eh kasi, Ballsy ka.

“We will be monitoring her, and hopefully she will be able to regain her appetite until we are confident enough in saying that we can remove the IV fluid already.”
~ Dr. Juliet Gopez-Cervantes, CGMA’s attending physician

Heckler: Si Lolong ka ba?
CGMA: Bakit?
Heckler: Eh kasi, ayaw mo raw kumain.

“I think the decision of Pasay RTC will allow Atty. Topacio to save his family jewels.”
~Atty. Edwin Lacierda

Heckler: Prostitute ka ba?
Atty. Edwin Lacierda: Bakit?
Heckler: Eh kasi kahit sino pinapatulan mo.

“Ba’t ba concerned na concerned si Secretary Lacierda sa aking itlog? Sabagay okay naman ‘yon. Siyempre kung ang isang tao na lalake ay concerned sa’yong itlog, s’yempre matutuwa ka naman d’on. Nagke-care.”
~ Atty. Ferdie Topacio

Heckler: Itlog ka ba?
Atty. Ferdie Topacio: Bakit?
Heckler: Ang sarap mong pitikin eh!

“My arrest triggered Edsa 3, whose number was more than those of Edsa 1 and 2 combined.”
~Former President Joseph Estrada

Heckler: Magician ka ba?
Erap: Bakit?
Heckler: Eh kasi, ang hilig mo sa illusion.

“One cannot think of the 1986 EDSA Revolution without thinking of Corazon Aquino.”
~Bohol Rep. Rene Relampagos defending his proposed ‘Cory Aquino Avenue’

Heckler: Tambay ka ba?
Cong. Relampagos: Bakit?
Heckler: Eh kasi, parang wala kang ibang magawa.

“Tapos po nun sigaw ako nang sigaw; ‘tapos naisip ko baka wala na dun yung killer. Basta alam ko sigaw lang ako nang sigaw. Tapos… Shit nawala na ko, kasi nawala, ‘di ba dapat tatawagan ko si Gail?”
~Maria Ramona Belen “Mara” Bautista-Bülbüloğlu narrating her version of what happened the night her brother Ram Revilla was murdered

Heckler: NAIA ka ba?
Ramona: Bakit?
Heckler: Most hated ka eh.

“No matter what is written or what you hear, it’s my loyalty that is priceless.”
~Sharon Cuneta talking about her recent transfer to TV5

Heckler: Meralco ka ba?
Sharon: Bakit?
Heckler: Eh kasi, ang hilig mong mag-switch.

“When itweet nonsense take itcas itsis Last night did math simulations so makita ng coop paano namin ni assunta saluin buong utang bulok yun?”
~Cong. Jules Ledesma

Heckler: Ilog Pasig ka ba?
Jules: Bakit?
Heckler: Eh kasi, ang labo mo!
“Never miss a good opportunity to shut up.”
~Will Rogers

iGuess 1:
Popular Personality (PP) was detained somewhere in North America recently after causing a ruckus outside a bar. PP was reportedly drunk and was with his significant other when it all happened. Merry Christmas!

iGuess 2:
Popular College Hoopster (PCP) is one naughty boy. Probably inspired by videographer Hayden Kho Jr, PCP is keeping a video of himself doing it with a fling. The whole team had seen the sleazy video. “Proud pa siya sa ginawa niya,” one teammate said. Lagot ka kay Father!

Have a great week ahead!

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PRESIDENT AQUINO gave P5M to the MILF then gave P31M to the ABB. Now, he wants to shoulder GMA’s medical expenses. With an enemy like that, who needs friends?

Photos of the Weak
“From reformer to transformer.”
The images shown here were presented to the media Tuesday by Estelito Mendoza, legal counsel of former president Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo (Thanks to TV5’s Jove Francisco for posting these on Facebook.)

THE DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE rejected former president Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo’s request for an allow departure order. “There is no compelling or immediate necessity to seek treatment abroad,” according to Dr. Leila De Lima much to the disappointment of Dr. Raul Lambino.

In her previous letters to the DOJ, the Pampanga representative said she was seeking medical treatment in Austria, Germany, Italy, Singapore, Spain, Switzerland and the United States. But it was later discovered that she’s just planning to join the upcoming season of “The Amazing Race.”

In an exclusive interview, former President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo told Manila Standard Today’s Christine Herrera that she used to take 25 to 30 tablets of painkillers and vitamins everyday. Observers say that was alarming. What made it even more alarming was the unverified report that the drugs were prescribed by a certain Dr. Conrad Murray.

Manila Standard Today’s Christine Herrera outscooped everyone when she scored an exclusive interview with GMA. It was a casual and brief chat. The former president was in a jovial mood. There was this brief tense moment though when Mrs. Arroyo said, “Well, Clarice – have the lambs stopped screaming?”

Reports say former President Arroyo is in bad shape. The only other thing that’s in worse shape is our economy.

Some people have noticed that due to Mrs Arroyo’s worsening health condition, it looks as if the 64-year-old ex-president has aged by at least 20 years – or as Estelito Mendoza would call it, “presidential pardon.”

Aquino-Cojuangco Video
Have you seen the viral video detailing the alleged sins of the Aquino-Cojuangco family? The video is 15-minute long; with 14 minutes alone devoted to the sins of Kris Aquino.

Wanted: Ramona
The NBI has reportedly started its search for murder suspect Maria Ramona Belen Bautista overseas. It will be an easier task for the NBI to locate Ramona… mostly because she is a Bautista, not a Lacson.

Ali Peek Shot
PBA star Ali Peek has been shot. The suspect was last seen boarding a Cathay Pacific flight to Hong Kong and is believed to be en route to his wife’s home in Turkey.

Albert Henry “Ali” Peek of Talk ‘N Text has been shot. The US Embassy is seeking justice for its citizen!

Talk ‘N Text owner Manny V. Pangilinan is helping the police find the gunman. He is offering a reward of 500 thousand pesos for the capture of Ali Peek’s assailant prompting Genelyn Magsaysay to accuse him of using the shooting incident for publicity.

Hours after Joe Frazier passed away, Regine Velasquez gave birth. It’s been a busy day for Sen. Tito Sotto who demands to see both death and birth certificates ASAP.

Survivor Philippines
GMA Network has launched Season 4 of Survivor Philippines: Celebrity Doubles Showdown. This promises to be the best season yet for the local version of Mark Burnett’s Survivor franchise. Despite Richard Gutierrez.
“In a disordered mind, as in a disordered body, soundness of health is impossible.”

Quotes of the Week
“How would you feel if you knew something was wrong with you but not knowing what it was? I know something is wrong with me.”
~Former President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo

“Compassion and humanitarian grounds are a convenient excuse. But if we always concede to that, then we will not have a solid justice system.”
~Justice Sec. Leila De Lima

“I need the support of the saints in every locality around the world ,my children are innocent, pls pass !!!”
~Genelyn Magsaysay on Facebook

Manila Standard Today: Arroyo: Not knowing what ails me is killing me

ABS-CBN News: Questions Ramona left unanswered

Merry Christmas! Have a safe day!

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GENELYN MAGSAYSAY broke her silence Sunday. She delivered a 12-minute SONA exclusively shown on GMA 7.

According to Genelyn, Bong Revilla is using the Ramgen murder case to boost his chances in the “2013 presidential elections” Since the presidential elections won’t happen until 2016, Malacañang is verifying intelligence reports that Genelyn is planning to lead an “Oust Aquino Movement” soon.

In a videotaped message, Genelyn Magsaysay addressed the public as, “Mga minamahal ko…” No, thanks!

She added, “Ano po ba ang laban ko sa isang malaking pulitiko.” To which Bong Revilla said, “Mas malaki ka!”

And then Genelyn lectured, “Nais ko pong ipaalala sa mga hindi nakakaintindi na may tatlong sangay ng gobyerno. Ito ang lehislatibo, hukuman, at ehekutibo. Lehislatibo, ang sangay ng gobyerno na gumagawa ng batas; hukuman na siyang nagpapatupad ng batas, at ehekutibo ang nagpapatakbo ng gobyerno at mga sangay nito. Ang mga desisyon at pagpapatakbo ng bawat isa sa mga tao ay dapat malaya sa isa’t isa. Sa madaling salita, walang pakialaman.” Move over Father Joaquin Bernas! There’s a new constitutionalist in town!

Earlier, Genelyn Magsaysay said, “Hindi ko pinalaki at tinuruan ang mga anak ko na magpatayan!” Oh! So were you taught to have an affair with a married man?

Confirmed! Ramona Bautista is already in Turkey. That’s fowl!

And there’s another videotape. This time, the copy was exclusively given to ABS-CBN by Ramona Bin Laden.

Before she left for Turkey, Ramona Bautista produced her own video shown exclusively on ABS-CBN. That explains her absence at Ramgen’s funeral last November 2. She was busy rehearsing her lines.

In the video, Ramona tried to narrate what happened on October 28, the night Ramgen was killed. Not so surprisingly, her story had more versions than the Bible.

Ram Revilla’s girlfriend Janelle Manahan who survived the shooting will undergo facial reconstruction. With Interpol hot on her trail, Ramona Bautista wants one too.

Fliptop Battle: Magsaysay vs. Revilla

Bong Revilla:
Ano bang problema mo? Heto nga’t tumutulong na!
Ang hirap kasi sa ‘yo, isa kang kunsintidora!
Putak ka nang putak, daig mo pa ang manok
Hindi naman bagay sa katawan mong bilog!

Genelyn Magsaysay:
Wow! Kung magsalita ka naman, parang perfect ka ah
Anong ‘pinagmamalaki mo, ‘yang malawak mong panga?
Hoy! Kung gusto mong mag-bise, ‘wag mo kaming gamitin!
Ipaliwanag mo na lang kung sino si Josephine!

Bong Revilla:
Anak ng teteng…
Huwag ka ngang mamersonal at ‘wag ka nang mandawit
Baka nalilimutan mo, minsan ka ring naging kabit!
Wala akong paki, kung kuya mong congressman ay rich
May respeto ako sa babae, kahit “menopausal bitch!”

Genelyn Magsaysay:
Pucha ka! Bakit pati kuya ko ay iyong dinamay
Pinaplastic mo lang pala siya noong gabi ng lamay
‘Wag na ‘wag kang magpapakita rito, kapag si RJ nakalabas
Tingnan ko lang kung makaporma ka sa lalaking naka-Halloween mask!

In Other News
Miss Philippines, Gwendolyn Ruais won first runner-up in the Miss World pageant held in London early Monday morning (Manila time). Congratulations Gwen! You’re the man!

Meanwhile, Miss Philippines Diane Necio won Miss Internet Popularity in the Miss International pageant held last night in China. ‘k.

A grandson of Sen. Juan Ponce Enrile identified as Achilles Juan Ponce Enrile was robbed by the driver of a taxicab he flagged down in Mandaluyong City. When the robber announced, “Holdup ‘to. Ibigay mo sa akin ang pera mo!” Achilles said, “Oh no you don’t! I’m Enrile’s grandson.” The robber retorted, “Ah ganun!? Ibigay mo sa akin ang pera ng bayan!”

Sen. Juan Ponce Enrile’s grandson was robbed by a taxi driver. Sa awa ng Diyos, haping-hapi ang robber!
“Crime is a product of social excess.”
~Vladimir Lenin

Quotes of the Week(end)
“Nakakalungkot. Malayo pa po ang eleksyon. Bakit napakaaga ng kampanya?”
~Genelyn Magsaysay

“Pabalikin mo ang anak mo! Hindi ako naniniwalang hindi mo alam ang pag-alis niya!”
~Sen. Bong Revilla

“I pray for our finances. They are pushing us to the limit. I’m trying to cope, my children are the ones holding our allowance. I’m always the one making abono, they cut off our allowance but they are the ones living luxurious living. They have luxurious cars and houses.”
~Genelyn Magsaysay‘s Facebook status (October)


Briefly Noted
Sunday Inquirer Magazine’s cover yesterday, Nov. 6 was Vicki Belo. The cover says “BELO On Belo & Other Obsessions.” Below it: ENCOUNTER WITH A Mangkukulam

Have a great week! Ingat!

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“How do you solve a problem like Ramona?
How do you catch a kin and pin her down?
How do you find a word that means Ramona?
A flibbertijibbet! A sign-o’-her guilt! A clown!
~Ramona, from “The Sound of Muse Sick”

RAMONA BAUTISTA, Ramona Revilla, Maria Ramona Belen Magsaysay Bautista, Mara Revilla, Maria Ramona Gaddafi or whatever her name was had LEFT the country Friday night. Or maybe she was kidnapped, we don’t know. ‘Wag kayong judgmental!

Ramona Revilla had left the country. Expect her to surface near Star Mall in Las Piñas City soon.

Ramona Bautista, one of the suspects in the murder of her brother Ramgen left for Hong Kong early Friday night. Take that Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo!

Hours after retracting her statement that she was kidnapped by Ramgen’s assailants, Ramona Bautista left for Hong Kong Friday night. What a way to spend the long weekend!

Ramona Bautista was spotted at the departure area of NAIA terminal 1 Friday night. She was trying to cover her face with a red scarf… not with the Halloween mask she wore the night Ram was killed.

A furious Sen. Bong Revilla said he didn’t know about Ramona’s flight. Among other things.

On Friday night, Genelyn Magsaysay said goodbye to murder suspect Ramona Bautista… as Bong Revilla was saying goodbye to his vice presidential ambition!

Ramona Bautista has left the country. With the help of Google, she’ll be a good cook in 12 months.

Latest reports say Maria Ramona Belen Bautista is a married woman and that her husband is from Turkey. When the murder probe began, she chickened out.

This just in! In high school, Ramona Bautista was allegedly voted “most likely to get away with something gruesome.”

Right now, there are two kinds of people in the Philippines: those who believe that Ramona Bautista is guilty as hell, and Genelyn Magsaysay.

Murder suspect Maria Ramona Belen Magsaysay Bautista has left the country. Malacañang is blaming the previous administration of Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo.

In Other News
During yesterday’s YouTube Worldview live interview, President Aquino was asked by a kid if he still believed in Santa Claus. It would have been more interesting if the kid asked the President if he still believed in love.

Sen. Panfilo Lacson says he’s convinced that former President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo is planning to hide abroad amid her legal woes in the country. “Hey kettle! It’s pot. You’re black!”

Reports say a huge asteroid will pass closer to Earth than the moon on Tuesday. But NASA clarifies there is no chance that the object will collide with the Earth or moon. Seriously, I hope it collides with Ramona Bautista.
“Murder is always a mistake – one should never do anything one cannot talk about after dinner.”
– Oscar Wilde

Quote of the Week
“Kung talagang umalis siya, this is a sign of guilt. ‘Di namin sha mapapatawad. Kahit kapatid namin sya dapat nyang panagutan ito. Bakit siya tatakbo in the first place kung wala siyang kasalanan? Lalo niyang inipit ang kapatid niya sa ginawa niyang ito. Si Genelyn (Magsaysay) galit sa akin, kung bakit ko raw tinurn over si Joseph sa kapulisan. Tayo’y maninindigan sa tama. The rule of law must prevail.”
~Sen. Ramon “Bong” Revilla Jr. reacting to reports that half-sister Ramona had left the country

Beware of This Cop
You Have Spoken
Naniniwala ka ba sa resulta ng imbestigasyon ng pulisya sa Ram Revilla murder case?
-OO Naman. 77.89%
-HINDI. Duda pa rin. 8.42%
-Pag-aaralan ko pa. 13.68%

GMA News: Shocking crime stirs interest in Agimat’s prolific life

ABS-CBN News: Ramona Bautista’s last interview before she left the country

Have a great weekend! If you’re in Hong Kong, extend my regards to Ramona! Good luck!

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