CONFIRMED!

Satur Ocampo (In the Philippines): Sir, our comrade is dead! I repeat, our comrade is dead. Do you read me?
Jose Maria Sison (In Europe): Roger!


Gregorio ‘Ka Roger’ Rosal, spokesman of the Communist Party of the Philippines’ armed wing, the New People’s Army is dead. I heard Malacañang is now willing to talk peace with him.

The Communist Party of the Philippines has confirmed that its spokesman, Gregorio “Ka Roger” Rosal is dead. On the brighter side, the CPP-NPA is announcing a job opening soon!

Rumors have it when Ka Roger got sick, he stepped down as spokesman and was replaced by his No. 2 guy who’s gay.

Comrades hailed Ka Roger’s “contributions” to the “historic revolution” such as iAttack, iTorch, iRecruit, iAbduct, iAmbush, iCollect and iLiquidate.

Gregorio ‘Ka Roger’ Rosal, the spokesman of the CPP-NPA died last June 22. In honor of the deceased Communist rebel, the New People’s Army will torch three Globe cell sites and attack more mining firms.

Communist spokesman Ka Roger Rosal died last June 22. It took the CPP-NPA more than three months to confirm his death because of Globe’s poor signal in the Sierra Madre Mountains.

In lieu of flowers, the CPP-NPA is now accepting revolutionary donations.

Smokin’ President
Presidential spokesperson Edwin Lacierda denied that President Aquino was allowed to smoke in his recent return flight from San Francisco to Manila as reported by a Manila Standard Today columnist. Lacierda is offering an Hermes bag as reward to anyone on that flight who could show proof that the President lit a cigar.

Lapid Debates
Last week, Sen. Manuel ‘Lito’ Lapid took the Senate floor to interpellate RH Bill sponsor Pia Cayetano. And everyone agreed – the action star’s first attempt at comedy was a huge success. Congratulations!

Envoy Apologizes
US Ambassador Harry Thomas Jr. apologized for saying that 40 percent of male tourists visit the Philippines for sex. The US envoy admitted he didn’t have the statistics to back up his claim. Only the experience.

But Sen. Loren Legarda still wants Ambassador Thomas to “provide the basis of the 40 percent” – prompting the envoy to panic and seek the help of 4 of his 10 closest American friends in Manila.

Nora Aunor
Nora Aunor has vowed to promote the Philippine Medical Association’s “Smoke-free Philippines” campaign. In totally unrelated news, Joseph Estrada has vowed to promote the Vatican’s “Be faithful to your wife” campaign.
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“Communism is like Prohibition, it’s a good idea but it won’t work.”
~Will Rogers

Quotes of the Weak
“Very clearly, the moves to persecute the Arroyos are Palace orchestration with Lacierda as the principal crooner singing whatever tunes Aquino would want to hear.”
~Arroyo lawyer Raul Lambino

“(Lambino) just sang out of tune. He wasn’t listening to the melody and lyrics of my statement. So get a music teacher.”
~Presidential Spokesperson Edwin Lacierda

Personal
Last Saturday’s edition of #QUIZtion: a general knowledge quiz on Twitter, which I moderate was one of the most competitive in recent weeks. One word: kinarir.

Join #QUIZtion every Saturday night between 8:43 and 11 o’clock. Good luck!

Have a safe, healthy, and productive week!

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I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

iGuess

BECAUSE THE PEOPLE involved are keeping it a secret, we’ll keep their identities a secret. Good luck!

iGuess No.1:
Sometime in September 2011, a newborn baby was welcomed to the Christian world. Proud Mama was there. Proud Papa was also there. But Proud Mama and Proud Papa are not a couple – legally. Proud Papa, a politician is a married man. Sources say the legal wife is aware of the affair and she has forgiven him. He’s a very good provider anyway.

iGuess No. 2:
Contrary to earlier claims by both camps, Mr. Politician and Beautiful Celebrity actually dated! Pero ‘yon na ‘yon! Mr. Politician never even reached “second base.” He was not just her type. A health buff, Beautiful Celebrity described his “habit” as a big turnoff. And the hypersalivation was disgusting, she told closest friends. Foamy? Eeew.

iGuess No.3:
After their breakup, she found a new love while he remained single. She’s reportedly living in now with the new guy. Here’s the catch. The happy couple’s love nest was purchased with half of her ex-boyfriend’s money. Nasaan ka delicadeza?

Personal
Join our regular weekend quiz on Twitter!

#QUIZtion happens every Saturday night between 8:30 and 11 o’clock. No registration required. Just follow me on Twitter: @HecklerForever, wait for the question and then tweet your answer with the hashtag #QUIZtion. First three persons to tweet the correct answer will be recognized and shall receive heaps of praises, 10 seconds of fame, and an indescribable feeling of fulfillment. Tip: If you’re using a laptop or a desktop computer, download Tweetdeck to increase your chances of making it on the elite winners’ list.


Last Saturday, ABS-CBN News’ Jeff Canoy posted a rare 4-peat, winning four times during the entire quiz. GMA News’ Joseph Morong and Philippine Daily Inquirer’s Abigail Lim Ho also won that night. Deputy presidential spokesman Abigail Valte’s highest placement last Saturday was 12th. Former congressman Ruffy Biazon used to join the quiz until his appointment to the Bureau of Customs. ARMM Assemblyman Zia Alonto Adiong is also a regular.


Don’t be intimidated guys. You can beat them! I’ll wait for you! Good luck!

Happy weekend!

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