SENTIMENTS

OFWsgma GMA Is Back
After a three-nation tour, President Arroyo arrived home Thursday with some 121 distressed overseas Filipino workers (OFWs) who were stranded in Saudi Arabia. Photos of the president with the repatriated OFWs saw print in several newspapers Friday… prompting presidential aspirant Manuel Villar to accuse Mrs. Arroyo of shamelessly copying his signature stunt.

Solons for Noynoy?
Cebu Rep Antonio Cuenco, a Lakas-Kampi stalwart claimed that based on an informal survey, half of the members of the Lower House preferred Sen. Noynoy Aquino. This just in! An informal survey among Lakas-Kampi members showed that half of them wanted to kick Cuenco out of the party.

Solons for Noynoy? II
Cebu Rep. Antonio Cuenco who conducted an informal survey that showed half of the members of the Lower House preferred Noynoy Aquino claimed that only pork barrel considerations were keeping other congressmen from openly supporting a non-administration candidate. A check on House records showed, Cuenco has received his allocation in full.

ebdane Ebdane for President, Too
Did you hear the news? Aside from cabinet members Bayani Fernando and Gilbert Teodoro, Public Works and Highways Secretary Hermogenes Ebdane Jr. has also declared his intention to run for president in 2010! In bigger news, an informal survey among Cabinet members showed that half of them actually wanted to run for president!

danton Ang Ladlad in the House
Ateneo professor Danton Remoto, chairman of Ang Ladlad, the gay advocacy organization seeking accreditation from the Comelec as a party-list group, says his group aims to provide lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgenders a legal representation in Congress. Rumors say Ang Ladlad wouldn’t be this too keen on making it to Congress if only Jules Ledesma were doing his job.

Ang Ladlad in the House II
Prof. Danton Remoto says Ang Ladlad has a nationwide gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender membership of 22,000. Of this figure, 21,999 are ordinary, marginalized people while 1 is a senator.

vilma-sarah Pichay on Ate Vi
Defeated 2007 senatorial candidate and Lakas CMD vice president Prospero Pichay says Batangas governor Vilma Santos is the Philippine version of former Alaska governor and Republican vice presidential bet Sarah Palin. They’re both beautiful, they’re both popular, and they’re both married to losers.

Pichay on Ate Vi II
Lakas CMD vice president Prospero Pichay says Batangas governor Vilma Santos is the Philippine version of Sarah Palin “but with substance.” Santos is reportedly flattered by the comparison but vehemently denies that she is into drugs.

lanib Congresswoman Lani
Sen. Bong Revilla’s wife, actress Lani Mercado, a defeated mayoral candidate in Bacoor, Cavite in 2004, will run for a seat in Congress next year. A number of Cavite residents have asked the Commission on Human Rights to investigate reports that torture has been legalized in the province.

Survey Says
If elections were held today, your choice for president will be. The final results with exact figures (10:49AM, Saturday):
Noynoy Aquino: 476 votes / 37.39%
Manny Villar: 473 votes / 37.15 %
Gilbert Teodoro: 121 votes / 9.50%
None of the Above: 106 votes / 8.32%
Chiz Escudero: 97 / 7.61%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

Personal
ThankS to the 2009 Philippine Blog Awards. As I have been telling my Facebook friends, I am not expecting to win but I’ll be very happy if my co-finalists in the Humor category would all lose. Here’s the complete list of finalists.

COLLUSION

laxon The World Bank Document
Sen. Panfilo Lacson claims to have read a World Bank report on blacklisted construction firms and some powerful personalities allegedly involved in rigged biddings. Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago says she has also have received a copy of the World Bank document but maintains that no names were mentioned in the report. The existence of two copies has prompted the Senate to check on rumors they originated from the office of former Press Secretary Ignacio Bunye.

mikea The First Gentleman
According to Sen. Panfilo Lacson, the World Bank Report has implicated the First Gentleman to collusion in rigged biddings. The president’s husband reportedly asked for 5 percent commission for every rigged bid. When the First Gentleman heard this, he said, “Ridiculous! I would never ever settle for anything less than 10 percent!”

Summons
The latest news is that senate committee on economic affairs chair Miriam Defensor-Santiago has summoned several persons implicated by Senator Lacson in the alleged collusion between construction firms blacklisted by the World Bank. They included First Gentleman Mike Arroyo, former congressmen Prospero Pichay and Jacinto Paras, Florante Soriquez, former secretary of the Department of Public Works and Highways; and Lope Adriano, Tito Miranda and Boy Belleza, project director, assistant director and alleged broker, respectively, of the DPWH. In short, senators, congressmen, DPWH officials & brokers, and the First Gentleman will be together in one room. Representatives of the Guinness World Records will also attend the hearing to authenticate this latest attempt from the Philippines to establish a new record for the biggest gathering of high-profile thieves ever.

First Gentleman Mike Arroyo’s lawyer Ruy Rondain says Mr. Arroyo’s probable appearance in the Senate probe would largely depend on the advice of his doctors. At press time, doctors are giving him a 5 percent chance.

Special Probe
Sen. Mar Roxas has proposed the appointment of a ‘special prosecutor’ to handle exclusively the investigation into Mr. Arroyo’s alleged involvement in irregularities in public works projects. Other senators turned down Roxas’ proposal because of cost implications. You know, in this country, prosecutors cost at least 800,000 pesos.

“Unethical”
Senate committee on ethics chair Panfilo Lacson has implicated the late former senator Robert Barbers in the World Bank controversy. His sons, Robert Ace and Robert Dean called it “unethical.” Robert Dean added that his father was “full of integrity,” meaning… Robert Dean has not heard the complete “Hello Garci” tapes.

Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago has invited the First Gentleman and former congressmen Prospero Pichay and Jacinto Paras to attend the senate hearing on the alleged collusion between construction firms blacklisted by the World Bank. When a foreign correspondent asked Santiago why she didn’t summon “a former senator named Robert Barbers,” Sen. Lito Lapid interrupted and said, “Tanga ka ba? It’s unethical!”

Ninoy’s Killers Freed
Two convicted killers of former senator Benigno “Ninoy’ Aquino Jr. were released Friday after they were deemed to have served out their sentence. Public Attorneys Office chief Atty. Persida Rueda-Acosta is hopeful the 10 remaining convicted soldiers will be freed next. The Aquino family is now convinced Attorney Rueda-Acosta is indeed a closet Marcos loyalist.

What’s the difference between a freed Ninoy killer and Sen. Lito Lapid? The killer is able to complete a sentence.
_________
“The more corrupt the state, the more laws.”
~ Publius Cornelius Tacitus

TEAM UNITY RETURNS

null Cabinet Revamp

The reported impending appointment of defeated senatorial candidate Prospero Pichay to the Bureau of Customs has received a lot of flak. Critics say the president must appoint someone who really knows smuggling and the operation of smugglers. Malacañang agrees. The problem is – can the president appoint her husband?

null Cabinet Revamp II

Last year, defeated Manila mayoral candidate Lito Atienza was appointed environment secretary. Recent reports say defeated senatorial candidate Mike Defensor will be the next press secretary, defeated senatorial candidate Prospero Pichay the next chief of the Bureau of Customs, and defeated senatorial candidate Tito Sotto the next chair of the Dangerous Drugs Board. Yet another defeated senatorial candidate Tessie Aquino-Oreta is reportedly being eyed as the next DepEd secretary. If this trend continues, President Arroyo will soon lead a cabinet of losers.

Cabinet Revamp III

Unconfirmed reports say Press Secretary Ignacio Bunye will be replaced by defeated senatorial candidate Michael Defensor. But Bunye has nothing to worry about. According to the grapevine, he’s being groomed to replace Edu Manzano as Optical Media Board chairman – primarily due to his ability to identify fake from original tapes.

Wage Hike and the CBCP

The Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines has joined labor groups in demanding a wage hike for Filipino workers. The Catholic Church’ call was fueled by the alleged shortfall in collected donations from parishioners recently.

Injured, Again

For the umpteenth time, the military reported that Abu Sayyaf leader Isnilon Hapilon has been wounded following a gunbattle. If I were to believe AFP’s claim, I’d really pity this Hapilon guy. He must be a walking scar by now. (Pang-ilan na bang “wounded” report ‘yan? I’ve lost count.)

null Botched Surgery

Doctors Manny and Pie Calayan are facing a P26-million lawsuit filed by a Filipino-American who accused the couple of botching a penis enlargement procedure. Patient Louem Martinez a.k.a. Louem Boschuk claimed his penis sagged and was badly deformed after the operation. He is now seeking 20 million pesos in actual damages, 3 million pesos in moral damages, and another 3 million pesos in exemplary damages… officially making his manhood the ugliest but most expensive Filipino cock ever.