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SANTO RODRIGO

6 11 2018

This article was first published in the Opinion Section of the Philippine Daily Inquirer last Nov. 4.

IN HIS All Saints’ Day and All Souls’ Day message, President Duterte urged Filipinos to “emulate our saints” and help in “alleviating the suffering of others.” To which, Filipinos replied, “You first.”

Less than 24 hours after the release of his All Saints’ Day message, the President mocked the Filipinos’ observance of Undas calling saints “fools” and “drunkards.” He then suggested, “Get hold of a picture of mine, place that in the altar, Santo Rodrigo.” His Ka-DDS supporters were shocked. They said, “He is not a saint! He is our god! No to demotion!”

A Manila policeman attending a Halloween party was allegedly caught snorting cocaine in the restroom of a high-end bar in Taguig City. During questioning, the suspect couldn’t give clear answers and was talking utter nonsense prompting one officer to yell, “Stop acting like the president!”

President Duterte sent flowers to the tomb of Ninoy and Cory Aquino at the Manila Memorial Park on All Saints’ Day. Thankful, the Aquinos couldn’t wait to return the gesture.

Militarization?
President Duterte has ordered a military takeover of the Bureau of Customs (BOC). When he heard the news, Paolo Duterte said, “Challenge accepted.”

Another retired military general, Rey Leonardo Guerrero has been appointed commissioner of the Bureau of Customs. His term officially started last Oct. 30 and will end until the next shabu shipment slips past the BOC.

Reports say President Duterte has full trust in Commissioner Guerrero’s capabilities. In fact, this early, he’s sure of where to transfer Guerrero when he gets fired as Customs chief.

The President justified his appointment of military men in government saying they were the ones who delivered. That’s actually true. Under the watch of former Customs Commissioners Isidro Lapeña and Nicanor Faeldon, some P20-B shabu shipment were delivered.

Bets
According to President Duterte, he will campaign next year for candidates who are “honest” and who are “not corrupt.” Imee Marcos and Jinggoy Estrada are hoping it’s just another Duterte joke.

New Low
From 113th last year, the Philippines’ ranking fell to 124th this year in World Bank’s Ease of Doing Business. The Department of Trade refuses to accept that. You know who else disagrees? Drug smugglers.

Solution
To address the soaring inflation, President Duterte has signed an executive order (EO) that will supervise and coordinate a barter trade in Mindanao. Duterte’s EO took effect last 6000

Trolls
Facebook has taken down several pro-Duterte Facebook pages due to violations of policies. Mark Zuckerberg has since apologized to Duterte supporters for loss of extra income.

Duterte II
Brazil has elected far-right candidate Jair Bolsonaro as president. Political analysts describe Bolsonaro as the Rodrigo Duterte of Latin America. He is a populist, a misogynist, and an advocate of violence and extrajudicial killings. Bolsonaro has denied though his eldest son is a drug smuggler.

Happy Birthday
Star for All Seasons and Batangas 6th District Representative Vilma Santos celebrated her 65th birthday last Saturday, November 3. Ate Vi thanked everyone online who sent her video greetings except for Cesar Montano.
____________________________________________________________________________________
“Every day he woke to the desire to take the world by the throat, and choke it.”
~Mary Butts

Sound Bites
“The Bureau of Customs under military control is (1) a patent violation of the civilian supremacy clause of the Constitution & civil service rules; (2) an obvious attempt to undermine the integrity of the military by placing its officers in positions where they may be corrupted.”
~Former Solicitor General Florin Hilbay

Twitter: @HecklerForever8

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#RIP – PREDICTED EPITAPHS OF LOCAL POLITICAL FIGURES

31 10 2018

IN OBSERVANCE of All Saints Day, here are the predicted epitaphs of famous political figures in the Philippines.

1. You’ve been warned.

1RIP Duterte

2. FYI: Death can be revoked.

2Trillanes

3. The girl who cried wolf

3Mocha Uson

4. Maang-maangan School of Acting

6Imee

5. Time has come.

5Mar

6. He died happy.

7Bong Go

7. A quiet place

8Alan Peter

8. He cannot move on.

4Bongbong

9. Transferred.

11Lapena

10. The boy with the dragon tattoo

13 pULONG

11. The fugitive presidential kumpare

17 pETER lIM

12. The Government Contractor

14 cALIDA

13. How did he die?

9Sotto

14. Ms. Senate Inquiry

10gRace Poe

15. A hard habit to break

18 lITO APID

16. Wish granted!

15 hARRY rOQUE

17. The (fake) doctor is in.

16 pERSIDA

18. Most Obedient

20 rAMON

19. Just Google the verse.

19 iMELDA

20. She just gave up.

12kRIS

21. Indeed!

21 eNRILE

22. An inconvenient truth.

22pIA

—————————————————————————————–
“Cowards die many times before their deaths; the valiant never taste of death but once.”
~William Shakespeare

1
Sound Bites
“Observers have compared Bolsonaro to U.S. President Donald Trump — both love stirring up controversy on social media and have harnessed populist sentiment, promising to clear their respective governments of corrupt political elites. But his approval of violence and extrajudicial killings makes him closer to the Philippines’ Rodrigo Duterte than to Trump.”
~Fortune on Brazil’s newly-elected leader

We feel you, thinking Brazilians.

I still am on Twitter: @HecklerForever8.

[Photos: Reuters / Gravestone Maker]





ICYMI: SECOND OPINION

17 10 2018

First published in the Philippine Daily Inquirer last October 14, 2018.

During a Cabinet meeting, President Duterte announced that the recent tests on his esophagus came back negative for cancer. Members of the Cabinet erupted in cheers and congratulated the President. Suddenly, his liver spoke, “Don’t celebrate just yet.”

The President and his family went on an unannounced trip to Hong Kong recently, apparently, to seek second opinion. The next day, Mr. Duterte got the confirmation: t-shirts and jackets cost less in Hong Kong.

___________

Chief Presidential Legal Counsel Salvador Panelo is replacing Harry Roque. He is now the President’s chief sanitary engineer.

___________

President Duterte revealed when outgoing presidential spokesman Harry Roque told him he wanted to resign, he replied, “Go ahead!” Breaking: Harry Roque’s heart.

___________

Harry Roque is currently in China for a private engagement. But he’ll be back tomorrow. He can’t wait to consult his family, talk to the President, and update his curriculum vitae.

___________

Alan Peter Cayetano has stepped down as foreign affairs secretary. Reports say he is seeking a congressional post, and wants to be Speaker. Oh, he probably misses it. He’s been very quiet for more than two years now.

___________

Former police chief Ronald ‘Bato’ de la Rosa, who is seeking a Senate seat, was recently quoted to have said, “Galit na galit ako sa gumagawa ng EJKs. Ang gumagawa niyan walang b****g!” When President Duterte heard this, he sought for a second opinion.

___________

Feuding half-brothers JV Ejercito and Jinggoy Estrada are both running for senator. But JV, who pushed for the passage of a bill banning political dynasties, believes it’s not acceptable to have two Estradas in the Senate. And the Cayetano siblings were like, “Okay lang ‘yun!”

___________

Folk artist and staunch Duterte supporter, Freddie Aguilar has filed his certificate of candidacy for senator. Aguilar is a cultural icon whose music we grew up listening to. I can’t wait to not vote for him in 2019.

___________

Anson Tuana, a 39-year-old senatorial aspirant, who also filed his COC, claimed he was an ex-boyfriend of resigned Assistant Presidential Communications Secretary Mocha Uson. A number of people actually believed Tuana’s claim saying ‘the customer is always right.’

Anson Tuana claimed he was an ex-boyfriend of Mocha Uson. Uson’s supporters say Tuana is a liar who spreads lies. To which, Tuana replied, “That’s exactly why we clicked.”

___________

In Makati City, siblings Junjun and Abby Binay are on a collision course as both have expressed interest in running for mayor next year. Taking a potshot at his sister’s “different” style of governance, Junjun says he carries the “Binay brand, the brand of governance that my father did for the people of Makati.” To which, the Makati City Hall Building II said, “I know, right?”

___________

The Philippine Drug Enforcement Agency (PDEA) says methamphetamine hydrochloride or shabu has “flooded” the streets of Metro Manila. When told about it, President Duterte ordered PDEA to take over the operations of the MMDA.

___________

Prices of basic commodities continue to rise but the cost of shabu has reportedly dropped by more than a third. This has prompted the President to revamp his economic team to include people from the Bureau of Customs.

___________

Former Assistant Presidential Communications Secretary Mocha Uson claims Communist rebels are to be blamed if she gets killed. The country is in crisis. We don’t have the luxury of fairy tales. Next issue please.

___________

Two persons allegedly won the more than one billion peso-Ultra Lotto 6/58 jackpot. To the administration candidates in next year’s elections, congratulations!
____________________________________________________________________________________
“It is hard to imagine a more stupid or more dangerous way of making decisions than by putting those decisions in the hands of people who pay no price for being wrong.”
~Thomas Sowell

Sound Bites
“Well, eventually, uod man magiging butterfly ulit so inggit ka lang, you’re stuck as an uod. Butterfly tayo!”
~Harry Roque during his GGV guesting

Pak!

Twitter: @hecklerforever8

[Photo: Philippine Star]





IMEE, MOVING ON AND MILLENNIALS

23 08 2018

THE LATE PHILIPPINE dictator Ferdinand Marcos amassed up to 10 billion dollars while in office. During martial law, some 34,000 were tortured, more than 3,000 were killed, and almost 400 disappeared never to be seen again. The Marcoses never apologized for the atrocities of the regime. There have been reports they’re willing to return a “portion” of their ill-gotten wealth but this too turned out to be BS.

Earlier this week, Imee Marcos, the dictator’s daughter, was quoted to have said, “The millennials have moved on, and I think people at my age should also move on as well.”

Thinking Filipino millennials have spoken via social media. Here are some of their responses via Twitter.

1Chewbacca

1CommissionSurvey

1Boyfriend

1Bruha

1Chuckie

1Crimes

1Crush

1Destroyed

1DiGets

1Docu

1DontUs

1ExLang

1Fabricated

1Gaga

1HarryPotter

1HowBad

1Hugot

1Jeggings

1Killer

1Kinulimbat

1Manggago

1Narrative

1SomethingThere

1Suffer

1Tae

1Tanga

1Tapyas

1Tonta
___________________________________________________________________________________
“Win or lose, we go shopping after the election.”
~Imelda Marcos

Sound Bites
“Only in the Philippines could a leader like Ferdinand Marcos, who pillaged his country for over 20 years, still be considered for a national burial. Insignificant amounts of the loot have been recovered, yet his wife and children were allowed to return and engage in politics.”
~Lee Kwan Yew, former Prime Minister of Singapore

Amen.

I am still on Twitter: @hecklerforever8





#NasaanSiDuterte AND OTHER STORIES

13 08 2018

A_1Shabu Filters-Rappler
A TON of shabu worth about 7 billion pesos was recently smuggled into the Philippines from Taiwan and China. Authorities couldn’t believe the boldness of the smugglers. The smugglers couldn’t believe the friendliness of this government.

The news came out last week but President Duterte has yet to speak about, much less, against the multibillion-peso shabu shipment. That’s natural though when you don’t want to offend friends.

Empty magnetic lifters which contained hundreds of kilos of shabu were traced in a warehouse in Cavite. Caviteños are hereby encouraged to ignore any advice that will come from Vice Gov. Jolo Revilla.

The Presidential Anti-Corruption Commission is investigating reports Customs people had conspired with the smugglers of the P7-B drug shipment. The PACC will not rush to judgment though. It vows to exercise fairness and follow this government’s procedure in handling corrupt officials: 1: Investigate 2: File a case 3: Dismiss case 4: Reappoint.

#NasaanSiDuterte
Amid the latest calamity to hit the metro, the hashtag #NasaanSiDuterte trended on Twitter on Sunday. Netizens have been asking about President Duterte’s whereabouts. Since Thursday, not much has been heard from him – which is probably the best thing that ever happened in recent weeks.

1MarikinaABSCBN News.jpg

Q: What do President Duterte and the 7-billion-peso shabu shipment have in common?
A: Both are missing.

Thinkers
Finance Chief Carlos Dominguez III and Socioeconomic Planning Secretary Ernesto Pernia have both spoken against the proposed shift to the federal system of government. Dominguez and Pernia are both economic managers. They are both trusted men of Duterte. And both are gonna be jobless soon (probably).

Palace spokesman Harry Roque was quoted to have said, “I think there’s a 100 percent agreement that we’re (Cabinet) pushing for federalism.” Now that’s a shocker. Harry Roque “thinks?!”

1HunSen
Fake News
Someone hacked into the official Facebook page of Cambodian Prime Minister Hun Sen and posted fake information. Poor hackers! In the Philippines, people are even paid to post fake information on, about and for the President.

Social Media
A neuroscientist says social media is making people behave like three-year-olds. Duterte is not into social media. So, how do you explain his behavior?

Duterte Update:
It took a while before he reacted to the #NasaanSiDuterte question but Epal King, Bong Go told the media the President was “monitoring” the situation from Davao and Malacañang. “No worries. We’re fine,” replied the smugglers of the P7-B shabu shipment.
—————————————————————————————————————————-
“People are dying because of ignorance. They are dying because unremitting propaganda is denying them essential safety information. They are dying because the first casualty of war is truth, and the war on drugs is no different.”
~Dominic Milton Trott

Sound Bites
From forensic pathologist Raquel Fortun (Twitter):
1RFortun

Indeed!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: Shabu Filters: Ben Nabong/Rappler; Fernando G. Sepe Jr., ABS-CBN News]





ANG PULIS AT ANG TAMBAY

23 06 2018

1DeccanChr

Cop: Sumama kayo sa amin sa presinto!

Guy: At bakit kami sasama?

Cop: Nakatambay lang kayo!

Guy: Excuse me?!

Cop: Sabi ko mga tambay kayo! Wala kayong ginagawa!

Guy: Magdahan-dahan ka sa pananalita mo mamang pulis! Baka nakakalimutan mong nandito ka sa Presidential Communications Operations Office!

Cop: Kaya nga.

* * * * *

Cop: Pagdadamputin ang mga ‘yan!

Guy: Anong kasalanan namin?

Cop: Tambay kayo! Walang pakinabang sa inyo ang lipunan! ‘Yung iba sa inyo nagnanakaw pa!

Guy: ‘Tang ina ka ah. Pakiulit nga ang sinabi mo!

Cop: Grabe ka naman, Congressman, ‘di na mabiro. Sige po, aalis na kami.

* * * * *

Cop 1: Hoy mga tambay, sumama kayo sa amin!

Cop 2: Oo nga! Sumama kayo sa amin.

Cop 3: Matagal na kayong tambay dito!

Cop 4: Tama! Abuso na kayo!

Cop 1: O, bakit hindi kayo sumagot! Magsalita kayo!

Cop 2: Naku sir, hindi talaga sasagot ang mga ‘yan. Hindi nga pala sila nakakaintindi ng Tagalog.

Cop 1: Radyuhan mo ang Coast Guard. Sabihin mo, magpadala ng interpreter dito sa Scarborough Shoal.

* * * * *

Cop: Hulihin ang mga ‘yan. Posasan! Dalhin sa presinto!

Guy: Teka lang sir. Anong kaso namin?

Cop: Mga tambay kayo!

Guy: Ano?! Nasa loob kami ng bahay eh. Paanong ‘di kami tatambay?!?

Cop: Basta! Sumama na lang kayo sa amin! Utos ‘yan ni Presidente.

Guy: Sir, ilegal ang ginagawa n’yo! Wala kami sa daan.

Cop: ‘Pag sinabi kong tambay kayo, tambay kayo!

Guy: Sir, may CCTV sa tapat. Magpapatunay ‘yan na hindi kami tambay.

Cop: Ba’t ngayon mo lang sinabi?!? Pumasok na kayo sa bahay. Baka masagasaan kayo rito. We care for your safety.

* * * * *

Cop: Damputin ang mga ‘yan!

Guy: Teka lang, sir. Anong kaso namin?

Cop: Wala. Sabi lang ni Presidente, arestuhin ang mga tambay.

Guy: Kahit walang kaso aarestuhin n’yo kesyo sinabi ng Presidente n’yo?!

Cop: Sumusunod lang kami sa utos!

Guy: Eh kung utusan kayong kumain ng tae, gagawin n’yo?

Cop: Siyempre, hindi. Magtatanong muna kami!

Guy:

Cop: Itatanong namin kung kakamayin ba o kukutsarahin. Mabuti nang sure. Eh kung mapanis?!

* * * * *

Cop: Arestuhin ang mga ‘yan!

Guy: Sandali! Anong arestuhin?

Cop: ‘Wag ka nang magtanong! Utos ito ng Presidente!

Guy: Hoy! Nabasa mo na ba ang headline ngayon? Heto: itinanggi ni Duterte na nag-utos siyang arestuhin ang mga tambay.

1Tambay1

Cop: Kahapon pa ‘yan. Mamaya o bukas, magbabago na naman ‘yan ng statement.

Guy: Sabagay. May point ka, sir.

Cop: Arestado ka pa rin! Sa presinto ka na magsipsip.

* * * * *

Cop: Hulihin ang tambay na ‘yan!

Guy: Teka lang! Bakit n’yo ako aarestuhin?!

Cop: Utos ng Presidente eh!

Guy: Para ano? Isasama sa presinto, bubugbugin kapag nangatwiran tapos papatayin? At kapag nagtanong ang media, sasabihing may sayad kaya sinaktan ang sarili at tuluyang nag-suicide? Tapos kapag nabistong gawa-gawa ang kwento, sasabihin n’yo kinuyog ng kapwa inmates? At kapag pinagdudahan pa rin at hiningi ang CCTV, sasabihin, ‘di ito gumagana nang oras na mapatay? HOY, MGA PULIS. KILALA KO NA KAYO! KILALANG-KILALA NA NAMIN KAYO! #WagKami

Cop: Kupal ka! Ang dami mong daldal. Hindi tuloy kami maka-quota! Sa ibang bahay na nga lang kami hahanap ng tambay. Leche ka!

* * * * *

Cop 1: Arestuhin ‘yan!

Guy: Teka lang mga sir. Anong kaso ko?

Cop 2: Wala naman. Tambay ka lang.

Cop 3: ‘Tsaka utos ito ni Presidente.

Guy: Pwes, pakisabi sa presidente n’yo, kung sinuman siyang bobo siya na ‘di nakakaunawa sa batas, PUTANG INA N’YA! PUTANG INA TALAGA N’YA!

Cop 1:

Cop 2:

Cop 3:

Guy: Ano pang hinihintay n’yo? Posasan n’yo na ako. Tara na. Ang bagal.
________________________________________________________________________________
“You were put here to protect us. But who protects us from you?”
~KRS-One

1TambayArgon
Sound Bites
“Noong dinala sa district hospital sabi ko, bakit ganito ang sinapit ng kapatid ko, buong katawan niya magang-maga. Hinawakan ko ‘yung katawan niya. Ang tigas ng kapatid ko, parang kagabi pa nila pinatay. Binaboy n’yo po ‘yung kapatid ko. ‘Tapos sa sasabihin n’yo pa nagwala ang kapatid ko? Hindi na kayang magwala ng kapatid ko dahil simula’t sapul nanghihina na siya.”
~Marilou Argoncillo, sister of Genesis Argoncillo, 22, a ‘tambay’ who was arrested and then murdered inside a police station

This is on you, Rodrigo Duterte. You are evil.

FYI
0kkk

0kkk
I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photo: Deccan Chronicle; Rappler]





MURA LANG

31 05 2018

Playmates

1Mura v2





ROYAL WEDDING, BUHAY CARINDERIA, ATBP.

21 05 2018

RW
PRINCE HARRY and Meghan Markle exchanged vows at St. George’s Church in Windsor Castle. It was a spectacle that unified much of the country. But that’s nothing compared to the spectacle that is Rodrigo Duterte who wants to unify China and this country.

After the ceremony, Queen Elizabeth hosted a lunchtime reception at St. George’s Hall. The catering contract was apparently awarded to the Tulfo brothers through the help of Wanda Tulfo-Teo.

Later that night, the groom’s father, Prince Charles hosted a simpler yet elegant and more intimate dinner at nearby Frogmore House. But Charles was so frugal, food was served by Cesar Montano’s Buhay Carinderia clients – fully paid months before the event.

Celebrity A-listers, foreign royalty, religious figures as well as diplomats and politicians descended on Windsor for the royal occasion. Many people described the ceremony a “fairy tale wedding.” Kat De Castro described the event as “wrong timing.”

Reorganization
Speaking of fairy tales, Tito Sotto is going to be installed as Senate President soon. Let that sink in.

As its president, Tito Sotto says, he “will not allow the Senate to be degraded.” He forgot the word ‘further.’

Incoming Senate president Tito Sotto says, “I will not allow it to be degraded.” When sought for reaction, Manny Pacquiao said, “Hindi naman masakit.”

Updated 5.21.2018:
Tito Sotto has been elected Senate president. In his speech, Sotto said, “Ni sa panaginip ay hindi sumagi sa aking isipan na ako ay maluluklok bilang pangulo ng Senado.” In his defense, not even in our nightmares.

Bombers
Chinese long-range bombers have reportedly landed on the Paracel Islands in the South China Sea. Nearly all of the Philippines falls within the radius of the bombers. As of Sunday, May 20, Foreign Affairs Sec. Alan Peter Cayetano has not answered questions about the bombers. To be fair, Cayetano has finished drafting an official statement. He’s just seeking final approval from Beijing before releasing it.

PCGG
The Lower House voted to abolish the Presidential Commission on Good Government, the agency tasked to run after the Marcoses’ ill-gotten wealth. The PCGG’s functions will be transferred to the Office of Solicitor General Jose Calida, a known Marcos loyalist. Next up: the Lower House will target the abolition of the Dep’t. of Environment and Natural Resources and transfer its functions to the office of Cynthia and Manny Villar.

Saying it was long overdue, Imee Marcos insisted the PCGG should have been abolished “30 years ago.” Actually, the PCGG should have not been formed at all – if your thieving family did not pillage government coffers.

BPABS
Corruption
Newly-appointed Tourism secretary Bernadette Romulo-Puyat expressed shock over the alleged misuse of hundreds of millions of DOT funds by previous officials . When he heard this, Cesar Montano protested, “Correction please: hindi ako previous official!”

‘Buhay Carinderia’ is a video series aimed at promoting local food and eateries. Reports say the Tourism Promotions Board headed by chief operating officer Cesar Montano disbursed almost 90 percent of payment to the marketing agency although the project has not been completed. When it was exposed, Montano blamed Wanda Tulfo-Teo saying she pushed for the payment to her friend, Erlinda Legaspi, the agency’s owner. In a statement, Wanda Teo said, “I’m equally shocked. I didn’t know Erlinda is my friend.”

Updated 5.22.2010
Cesar Montano has resigned as chief operating officer of the Tourism Promotions Board. In his resignation letter, the actor thanked Duterte for giving him the opportunity to head the agency. With hundreds of millions of pesos at your disposal, who wouldn’t be thankful?

Attacked
In Balabac, Palawan, a fisherman saved his teenage son from a 15-feet long crocodile which attacked and bit him. Apparently, the son was preparing to go fishing alone when the animal attacked. The father was alerted when he heard his son yelling, “Saklolo! May taga-DOT dito! Saklolo!”
______________________________________________________________________________
“Whenever a man has cast a longing eye on offices, a rottenness begins in his conduct.”
~Thomas Jefferson

Sound Bites
“Hindi kayo pumasok ng gobyerno para mag-around the world.”
~Tourism Sec. Berna Romulo-Puyat to former DOT officials

Travel pa more.

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: Royal Wedding: Getty Images ; Berna Puyat:ABSCBN News]





SCHADENFREUDE

27 04 2018

SA MATA ng maraming frustrated at ngayo’y tumatawang Pinoy, ang mga nahulog sa nag-collapse na bridge sa Zamboanga ay hindi lang dalawang congressman. They represent every politician na sa tingin ng mga Filipino ay nagpapayaman lamang sa puwesto at pakitang-tao ang serbisyo.

Can you blame them? Bakit nga ba ang hirap makisimpatya sa mga pulitikong nalalagay sa alanganin?

Just imagine kung si House Speaker Pantaleon Alvarez pa ang nahulog do’n. Baka nag-bonfire sa iba’t ibang universities nationwide. (Seriously though, we’re glad that no one was seriously hurt.)

With that, I’m reposting some of the meanest and outrageous Twitter reactions to the Zambo footbridge collapse.

morebridge

KarmaSlaps

FakeNewsPeople
MatinongTulay

repir

Impyerno

Builbuilbuild

ganti

JFLaughs

Kawawa

malalim

MediaMileage

Nahulogg

TatakPDP

Substandard

Aling Vicky
___________________________________________________________________________________________
“Anyone in a position of power is either corrupt or assumed to be corrupt, and the assumption of corruption is as bad as the reality of it.”
~Stanley A. McChrystal

Sound Bites
“Nahulog kami ng aking mga kasama sa tulay na nilalakaran namin papunta sa mga housing on stilts sa Brgy Rio Hondo, Zamboanga City. Ang kakulangan sa maintenance sa paggawa ng mga tulay at bahay ay napakadelikado para sa mga residente lalo na sa mga bata.”
~Negros Rep. Alfredo Abelardo ‘Albee’ Benitez, Survivor

‘k.

Schadenfrreude

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Video: GMA News]






EXCLUSIVE: SHARON INTERVIEWS DUTERTE

3 04 2018

US PRESIDENT Donald Trump has declared April – “Sexual Assault Awareness Month.” In the Philippines, President Rodrigo Duterte is declaring May the “National Month Against Extrajudicial Killing.”

01MegadINNERBongGo
Mega Dinner
Sharon Cuneta, wife of Liberal Party president, Sen. Francis Pangilinan, recently dined with President Duterte at Malacañang. It was a much talked about meeting between a very famous, influential multimillionaire – and Sharon Cuneta.

Rumors say when Sharon Cuneta initially heard about the President’s dinner invitation, she excitedly asked Bong Go, “When? Where? What’s on the menu?”

While having dinner, Duterte and Cuneta even played a game. Sharon asked some questions and Duterte answered using the titles of his favorite Sharon Cuneta movies. Here is the full transcript:

SHARON: Noong nanalo po kayo bilang pangulo at naluklok sa palasyo, ano ang unang pumasok sa isip n’yo?

Duterte: Sana’y Wala Nang Wakas.

Napakalaki pong isyu ang pagpapakulong n’yo kay Senator De Lima. Sakali pong magkita ulit kayo, ano ang sasabihin n’yo sa kanya?

Babangon Ako’t Dudurugin Kita.

Palabiro ka talaga, Mr. President. Ano nga po palang pakiramdam n’yo kapag nakakarinig ng batikos mula sa ICC, UN at mga human rights groups?

Pasan Ko Ang Daigdig.

Ramdam ko nga po. Kumusta na ho si Pulong? Pardon my words but… gago pa rin ho ba?

Ngayon at Kailanman.

That’s sad.

‘Di Na Natuto.

Ang bad. Sa tingin n’yo ba magbabago pa siya?

Pagdating ng Panahon.

Hanga po ako sa closeness n’yo ni Sec. Bong Go. Para talaga kayong…

Magkapatid?

‘Yun nga po. Lagi kayong magkasama ‘no?

Oras-Oras, Araw-Araw.

Wow! Eh paano kung may magkasakit? Nasaan iyong isa?

Caregiver.

That’s really great. Samantalang kami ni Kiko, away-bati. Sa tingin n’yo po dapat ko na siyang hiwalayan?

Ikaw.

Sige po, pag-iisipan ko. May mga anak kami eh. Pero kung kayo ang tatanungin, sorry po, alam kong maraming problema ang Pilipinas, dapat na ba akong sumuko kung wala na akong nararamdaman?

Kahit Konting Pagtingin?!

Siyempre meron naman po Mr. President. But paano kung ‘di na ganun ang sinasabi ng utak ko?

Pati Ba Pintig ng Puso?

Minsan. Ay! Nag-o-overshare na ako. Pasensya na talaga Mr. President. Ang hirap kasi ng feeling na…

Biktima?

Medyo. Hayyyy, tama na nga. Baka sabihin nila napakadrama ko. Mabanggit ko lang Mr. President, nalulungkot ako kasi nag-“No!” sa reunion movie project namin si Gabby. Hoping pa naman akong matuloy ‘yon. Hayyyyyy. Ba’t kaya ganun?

Walang Karugtong ang Nakaraan.

Aray! Hindi naman po ako umaasa ng balikan. Diyos ko, ang tatanda na namin. Ang sa akin lang, kaunting pagpapahalaga naman sa pinagsamahan.

Dapat Ka Bang Mahalin?

Ouch. Ang sakit mo namang magsalita Sir! Come to think of it though, pagdating talaga sa love, lahat pantay-pantay ‘no? Mayaman man o mahirap, nabibigo.

Maging Sino Ka Man.

True. Speaking of love, grabe rin ang pagmamahal n’yo sa mga Marcos ‘no?

Kapantay ay Langit.

Pansin ko nga po – lalo na kay Bongbong na ongoing ang hiniling na recount. Hanggang saan po ang suporta n’yo sa isa’t isa?

Sa Hirap at Ginhawa.

Awww. Eh paano naman po ‘yong ‘di mamatay-matay na isyu ng pagnanakaw against the Marcoses?

Forgive and Forget.

I luveeeet! Sanga pala, ang laking isyu rin ng pag-welcome n’yo sa China. ’Yong pag-handle n’yo sa usapin ng mga isla natin, iniintriga. Ano bang policy natin when it comes to our islands?

Buy One, Take One.

Ayyy! Sige po, hindi na kita pagpapaliwanagin. Pero sure akong ‘di ‘yan gusto ng mga taga-Liberal. Malapit na ang eleksyon. ‘Di ba kayo nati-threaten sa Senate slate nila?

Bituing Walang Ningning.

Ang mean!!! Last na lang, any message Mr. President sa UN at sa International Criminal Court.

Bukas Luluhod ang mga Tala.

‘Yun na! Maraming salamat Mr. President. Sana nandiyan kayo lagi para sa aming lahat na nagmamahal sa ‘yo.

Kung Kailangan Mo Ako.

Talaga Sir?

Pangako Sa ‘Yo. Cross My Heart.

Sweeet! Sige, kain ka na Sir.

Tayong Dalawa. Ayan o, may lechon pa!

Awww! My Only Love!

-End of Interview-

Kiko
Sen. Kiko Pangilinan says the country needs “a strong opposition to ensure that our democracy remains vibrant.” But Pangilinan admits they may not be able to field a complete Senate slate next year. Heck, he can’t even get the support of his own wife.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
“You’re not to be so blind with patriotism that you can’t face reality. Wrong is wrong, no matter who does it or says it.”
~Malcolm X, ‘By Any Means Necessary’

Sound Bites
Resistance is our movement. We must vigorously resist the slide to authoritarianism and anti-democratic rule.”
~Sen. Kiko Pangilinan

True.

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photo: Bong Go]





UNEDITED: DUTERTE’S ORIGINAL HOLY WEEK MESSAGE

25 03 2018

1ddd

Mensahe ng
Kagalang-galang Rodrigo R. Duterte
Pangulo ng Pilipinas
Sa Sambayanang Pilipino
Ukol sa Mahal na Araw
[Ika-25 ng Marso 2018]

Mga kababayan,

Nakikiisa ako sampu ng aking Gabinete sa paggunita ng mga Kristiyano sa pagpapakasakit at pagkamatay ni Hesukrito.

Katulad ni Hesus, tayong mga Pilipino ay dapat magtiis at magsakripisyo. Kung patuloy ang pagtaas ng presyo ng gas at mga bilihin, magtiis. Kung wala pa ring hinto ang extrajudicial killing, magtiis. Kung napakatagal ng oras sa paghihintay sa laging sirang MRT, magtiis. Kung walang pagbabago sa traffic, magtiis. Si Hesus nga, hindi nagreklamo, kayo pa kaya?

Maling sabihing walang basehan ang mga patakarang ipinatutupad ko. Sumusunod lamang ako sa nasusulat sa banal na aklat.

Si Barabbas o si Hesus?! Sino ba ang pinalaya: ang kriminal o ang walang sala? Ito ang inspirasyon ko kung bakit ang mga big-time drug lords ay aking pinakawalan habang patuloy ang persekusyon kay Leila De Lima at sa iba pang kritiko ng aking pamahalaan.

Maraming nagagalit kay Hudas dahil ipinagkanulo nito si Hesus kapalit ng ilang pirasong pilak. Biktima ng fake news si Hudas. Kung may Rappler, Inquirer at ABSCBN news noon, malamang hindi nila ibinalita ang positibong aspeto ng ginawa nito. Ginamit siya ng Panginoon upang maganap ang nasusulat.

Nakikita ko ang aking sarili kay Hudas. Gayunman, hindi tatlumpong pirasong pilak lamang ang kapalit ng mga isla sa West Philippine Sea. Napakalaking halaga ng ipauutang sa atin ng China. Ito ang bubuhay sa ating ekonomiya. Kaya’t labis akong nagtataka kung bakit inaakusahan ako ng pagtatraydor sa bayan. Hindi ito pagtatraydor. Ito ay pagmamalasakit.

Ang sabi ng aking mga kritiko, biktima ng extrajudicial killing si Hesus. Bakit? Hindi ba’t mga tao mismo noon ang humiling na ipako ito sa krus? Sa katunayan, ayon sa pananaliksik nina Martin Andanar at Mocha Uson ng Presidential Communications Office, aabot sa 16 million ang humiling kay Poncio Pilato na ipako sa krus si Hesus. Ibinalita ba ‘yan ng Rappler at Inquirer? Hindi!

Heto pa: sa pagkamatay ni Hesus ay nahugasan ang kasalanan ng mga masasama. Katulad ng EJK noon, maganda ang layunin ng EJK ngayon, ang linisin ang masasama.

Noong panahon ni Hesus, wala ni isa mang human rights group ang bumatikos sa pagpatay sa kanya. Pero ngayon, grabe ang ginagawang pakikialam ng UN at iba pang human rights organizations sa nagaganap na pagpatay sa bansa. ‘Tangina nila. ‘Pag ako nabuwisit, hindi lang sa ICC tayo aalis. Pati UN at Solar System lalayasan natin!

Ang Kuwaresma ay panahon ng fasting. Ito ay isang paraan ng sakripisyo upang mapalapit sa Itaas. Sa mga Filipinong araw-araw ay gutom dahil walang makain, huwag n’yong sisihin ang gobyerno. Isipin n’yo na lang na mas mapapalapit kayo sa Panginoon.

Ang Kuwaresma ay panahon din ng pagbabago. Gusto kong gamiting halimbawa ang aking tagapagsalitang si Harry Roque. Lahat ng ipinaglaban niya noon, tinalikuran na niya ngayon. Wala siyang hininging ginto, pilak o pera. Endorsement lang sa susunod na eleksyon, pwede na. Mabuhay ka!

Bago ako magtapos, gusto ko lang ipaalala: ang tunay na Kristiyano ay tahimik na gumugunita sa Mahal na Araw. Kung talagang mahal n’yo ang gobyerno at ang bansang ito, tatahimik na lang kayo. Tigilan n’yo na ang pag-iingay, pagpuna at pambabatikos sa ginagawa ng aking administrasyon. Kung hindi kayo tatahimik, putang ina n’yo, bilang na ang mahal na araw n’yo!  Patatahimikin ko kayo!

Hanggang dito na lamang. Maraming salamat at nawa’y maging ligtas ang inyong bakasyon. Huwag manlalaban. [Pastilan!]
—————————————————————————————————————————————
“A traitor leader is the outcome of a fool nation.”
~M.F. Moonzajer, ‘30 Pieces’

Sound Bites
My reading of the philosophy behind the creation of the ICC tells me this: If we want a world that allows no room for impunity, humanity must have recourse to a supranational mechanism for exacting accountability and dispensing justice, even where the actual victims themselves may have forgiven their oppressors.
~Prof. Randy David, ‘President Duterte is not the Philippine State’

Have a safe week! Enjoy your vacation!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photo: Inquirer.net]





NAPOLES AND THE PORK BARREL SCAM

22 03 2018

1Napoles2
IN JULY 2013, the Philippine Daily Inquirer, in a series of investigative reports, exposed the multibillion-peso pork barrel scam. According to the report, “billions of pesos in Priority Development Assistance Fund (PDAF) allocations of senators and members of the House of Representatives were diverted to bogus NGOs set up by businesswoman Janet Lim-Napoles.”

The alleged pork barrel scam queen is in the news again. Vitaliano Aguirre announced she has been provisionally accepted to the DOJ’s witness protection program. Duterte fanatics, who, in 2013, lauded the arrest and detention of Napoles are now either expressing support for or keeping mum on Aguirre’s decision. What a shame! Kadiri talaga kayo.

I am thus republishing some of my posts on or about Napoles and the pork barrel scam from 2013. Lest we forget…

A PHILIPPINE DAILY INQUIRER report says Janet Napoles owns at least 28 houses… the biggest of which are the two Houses of Congress.

1Napoles3
Rappler.Com published a photo showing Janet Lim-Napoles in a party with lawmakerslike Bong Revilla and Jinggoy Estrada. Sought for reaction, Gus Abelgas said, “Hindi nagsisinungaling ang ebidensya.”

According to the whistleblowers, Janet Lim-Napoles is using code names for some lawmakers she’s having transactions with. The alleged pork barrel queen uses the alias “Pogi” for Bong Revilla and two code names for Jinggoy Estrada. One is “Kuya” – which is self-explanatory – and another is “Sexy” – which tarnishes the witnesses’ credibility.

Juan Ponce Enrile has been repeatedly linked to Janet Lim-Napoles. In fact, she allegedly uses the code name “Tandâ” for him. When Enrile heard this, he said, “Inuulit ko, hindi ko kilala si Pangit.”

Reports say around 750,000 pages of documents and evidence were turned over by the Department of Justice to the Office of the Ombudsman. The Ombudsman vows to file charges before the Sandiganbayan as soon as possible. President Aquino’s term ends in two and a half years. They don’t have much time. To which Enrile said, “Lalo naman ako!”

Bong Revilla appealed to the public to not prejudge him. He also denied accusations he put the “bong” in “pandarambong.”

1Napoles
According to Sen. Miriam Defensor Santiago, lawmakers who were linked to the pork barrel scam must immediately take a leave of absence out of delicadeza. To which, lawmakers replied, “Ano ‘yon?!”

A survey conducted by Inquirer.Net showed 96.2 percent of Filipinos wanted the pork barrel abolished. The other 3.8 percent were lawmakers and their relatives.

Alleged pork barrel queen Janet ‘Jenny’ Lim-Napoles insisted her wealth came from legitimate business. For the bad publicity she has been getting of late, Napoles is blaming her enemies: the Philippine Daily Inquirer, Rappler, and the truth.

Latest reports say Janet Napoles may have escaped using one of three luxury yachts docked at the Manila Yacht Club. Lorna Kapunan insists Janet Napoles doesn’t own a yacht. To be fair, she owns the government.

On Wednesday, lawyer Lorna Kapunan denied that Napoles owned luxury yachts. She reiterated that her client wasn’t involved in the pork barrel scam, and she denied knowing her whereabouts. Survey: Sinong naniniwala sa mga sinabi ni Lorna Kapunan? Itaas ang kanang kamay… ‘tapos, sampalin nang malakas ang sarili!

Asked by Jessica Soho if she believed that Janet Napoles was clean, and not a corrupt person, Lorna Kapunan answered, “I think I need a lawyer.” The Napoleses replied, “I think you need a new client.”

1Napoles5
According to former senator Edgardo Angara, alleged pork barrel scam perpetrator Janet Lim-Napoles must be spared from “prejudicial publicity” to ensure a fair trial. Watch out Lorna Kapunan! Someone wants your job.

Former congressman Prospero Pichay has vouched for the goodness of character of the Napoles couple and refuses to believe they had anything to do with the pork barrel scam. Because if there’s someone who’s in a position to best defend a suspected crook, it has to be a person of untarnished reputation, good morals, and unimpeachable character like Prospero Pichay, right?

Ex-solon Prospero Pichay defended Janet Lim-Napoles and her husband against allegations they masterminded the P10-B pork barrel scam. In other news, Kim Kardashian says Lindsay Lohan is the best role model for today’s youth.

Pork Inquiry
The Senate has an ongoing investigation on the pork barrel scam. Several reports say the alleged pork barrel queen may be invited to face the senators – or as Janet Napoles would call it, “reunion.”

Janet Lim-Napoles may soon face the senators in the ongoing pork barrel scam probe. It will probably be the most awkward moment in the history of Philippine legislature.

Benhur Luy
The camp of Janet Lim-Napoles has started to discredit the principal whistleblower, Benhur Luy saying he had “gender confusion and sexual indiscretion issues.” Asked to comment on the revelation, Benhur’s lawyer said, “Kebs!”

Identified by former employees as the mastermind of the 10 billion peso-pork barrel scam, Janet Lim-Napoles retaliates and accuses principal whistleblower, Benhur Luy of being an ecstasy user. Napoles said Benhur “needs to be reformed.” Benhur replied, “You first!”

1Napoles4
Remember Janet Lim-Napoles’ daughter Jeane who flaunted photos of her Porsche, LVs, YSLs, Chanels, Louboutins and Celines in social media? Lawyer Lorna Kapunan says everyone should be proud of people like Jeane. I don’t think everyone will be proud of lawyers like Kapunan.

According to research firm MillWard Brown, the top 10 global luxury brands of 2013 are Louis Vuitton, Hermes, Gucci, Prada, Rolex, Chanel, Cartier, Burberry, Fendi and Coach. Or as Jeane Napoles would say, “My entire closet.”

Fugitive businesswoman Janet ‘Jenny’ Lim-Napoles has filed four libel suits against journalists, a blogger and a fashion designer. She claimed her daughter Jeane got sick after she read reports on her lavish lifestyle. Well, her lavishness was sickening.

Typhoon Nakaw
A petition asking PAGASA to name typhoons after corrupt politicians has been launched online. But the weather bureau rejected it because there’s not enough typhoons to accommodate all names.
___________________________________________________________________________________
“Three groups spend other people’s money: children, thieves, politicians. All three need supervision.”
~Dick Armey

Sound Bites
“As long as government is there, there is money.”
~Janet Lim-Napoles

You bet.

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: Janet Lim-Napoles, Jeane Napoles: Inquirer.net; Bong, Jinggoy et al: Rappler]





THE OSCARS, MONSTERS & POLITICS

8 03 2018

SOWP
‘THE SHAPE OF WATER’ won Best Picture at the 90th Academy Awards. Helmed by Mexican director Guillermo Del Toro, ‘The Shape of Water’ tells the story of a woman who fell in love with a monster. The film’s working title was ‘Honeylet.’

Frances McDormand won the best actress Oscar for the film ‘Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri.’ In her acceptance speech, she shared the award with her fellow nominees Meryl Streep, Sally Hawkins, Saoirse Ronan, Margot Robbie and Persida Acosta.

Best Actress winner Frances McDormand played the role of Mildred Hayes – an angry, grieving mother seeking justice for her daughter. Official reports say Mildred’s daughter has been murdered — although the VACC insisted she died due to the Dengvaxia vaccine.

3B
In her Oscar winning performance, Frances McDormand played the role of a devastated mother seething at the lack of progress in the case of her murdered daughter. Using three billboards on the outskirts of her town, she wages war against the local police chief who was reportedly a regular at videoke parties, concerts, press conferences, Congressional hearings, and other social events.

Duterte mouthpiece Harry Roque watched the telecast of the 90th Academy Awards. Roque was raving about and rooting for ‘Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri’ when the ceremonies started. Before it was over, he was cheering for ‘The Shape of Water.’

TPost.jpg
Meryl Streep now has 21 Oscar nominations including a best actress nod for her role as publisher Katharine Graham in the movie ‘The Post,’ a best picture nominee. Steven Spielberg directed ‘The Post’ which tackled the importance of freedom of the press. Rodrigo Duterte calls it “the worst film in recent years.”

In the movie, then US President Richard Nixon tried to stop the Washington Post from releasing damning evidence about America’s unwinnable war in Vietnam. When the newspaper ran a series of investigative stories on the Watergate scandal, Nixon retaliated by barring reporters of the Post from entering the White House. When Mocha Uson heard this, she asked her Facebook followers, “Naniniwala ba kayong ang Watergate scandal ay produkto lamang ng fake news?”

‘The Shape of Water’ actor Doug Jones says it took five hours for make-up artists to transform him into a fish. In comparison, it took Harry Roque one term in Congress to transform himself into Duterte’s bitch.

It took five hours (per day!) to transform ‘The Shape of Water’ actor Doug Jones into a sea monster. Unconfirmed reports say director Guillermo Del Toro almost considered casting Jose Calida for the role to save time.

DH
Gary Oldman won best actor for his performance as Winston Churchill in the World War II drama ‘Darkest Hour.’ His incredible transformation also took five hours to finish. Generating a lot of social media buzz of late is the ongoing (and troubling) transformation of Associate Justice Marvic Leonen.

Spoiler Alert: In ‘The Shape of Water,’ Eliza (Sally Hawkins) had sex with a ‘fish.’ That is hardly shocking considering that Congressional spouses have been sleeping with crocodiles for decades.
—————————————————————————————————————————-
“I am not fit for this office and never should have been here.”
~Warren G. Harding

Sound Bites
But the idea of allowing China to exploit part of the Philippines’ exclusive economic zone is not only dangerous but also unlawful, Carpio warned: The “co-ownership” model would amount to ceding half of the West Philippine Sea to the Chinese, and “there is absolutely no way under the Constitution” that any sitting Philippine administration could give away the national patrimony like that.
~Editorial, Not only dangerous but unlawful

“If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.”
~Margaret Thatcher

Happy International Women’s Day!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: Frances McDormand: People.com; Getty Images (Jones); Courtesy of Fox Searchlight (Still); Gary Oldman:Youtube, Focus Pictures]





LOVE IN THE TIME OF DENGVAXIA

11 02 2018

IN CELEBRATION of Valentine’s Day 2018, here are some timely ‘hugot’ lines. Enjoy!

1Roque

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1WPS

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1Peso

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1Persida

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1MRT

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1Marcoses

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1Pulong

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1LowerHouse

* * * * *

1BG

* * * * *

1Inflation

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1RIT

* * * * *

2WPS

* * * * *

1fAKEGuirre

* * * * *

1Bro
1Tanga

* * * * *

1d
———————————————————————————————————————————-
“An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her.”
~Agatha Christie

Sound Bites
“Ang kailangang i-assert natin ‘yung sovereignty natin. Hindi kailangang hintayin natin kung kailan sila aalis. Kailangang mas matibay ang ating paninidigan; ipaglaban natin ‘yung ating teritoryo.”
~House Deputy Speaker Lorenzo “Erin” Tañada III

Exactly.

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photo Sources: Harry Roque/ West Philippine Sea: Inquirer.Net; MRT 3: Dax Lucas via Mapio.net; Persida Acosta: Rappler; News; Mocha Uson: Philstar.com; TRAIN Infographic: ABSCBN News; Rice: PhilStar.com; Veggies: Rappler; Bato: Philstar; Aguirre: Rappler; Peso Bills: Rappler; Duterte Finger: Reuters]








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