SA LETRANG B: BONG GO!

Bong Go, whose claim to fame was to take selfies with his boss prior to being elected senator, was grilled by Senator Drilon on the Sports Commission’s budget.

Background: Last week, the Senate deliberated on the proposed 2020 budget of the Philippine Sports Commission. Sports committee head Bong Go defended the budget of the PSC. It was revealed that at least P9.5-B was spent for the construction of new sports facilities for this year’s Southeast Asian Games. When Sen. Franklin Drilon inquired about what the gov’t. plans to do with the sports facilities after the SEA Games, Go failed to give a substantive answer. (You all know what happened next!)

Here’s the text version:

Cringe-worthy videos of Bong Go being interpellated by Sen. Franklin Drilon on the budget of the Philippine Sports Commission have gone viral. If you want to see the videos, just go to YouTube and search for “grilled sapsap.“

Bong Go, whose claim to fame was to take selfies with his boss prior to being elected senator, was grilled by Senator Drilon on the PSC’s budget. He couldn’t give a satisfying answer to Drilon’s valid questions prompting someone from the gallery to shout, “Sunog! Saklolo! May nasusunog!”

Rumors say Bong Go’s Ka-DDS supporters are filing a case against Senator Drilon. They want him charged with arson.

Just so you know, Bong Go is the chairman of the Senate Committee on Games, Amusements and Sports. So far, based on his recent Senate grilling, he’s been successful on the “amusements” part.

After the hearing, Bong Go tried to take a selfie with his companions but he couldn’t. Insiders say, “Wala na siyang mukhang maiharap sa camera.”

BREAKING:

Bong Go has officially tapped Ateneo’s Tab Baldwin and UST’s Aldin Ayo for future Senate hearings. He desperately needs great coaches.

I AM ON TWITTER: @HecklerForever8

THE BARRETTO SERYE AND OTHER STORIES

Atong Ang also confirmed the authenticity of a viral photo of him holding hands with Gretchen Barretto while sleeping on a plane.

To those who asked, here’s the text version:

BREAKING: TIME Magazine has officially announced its first ever choice for Domestic Partner of the Year. The vote was unanimous. Congratulations to Filipino businessman Tonyboy Cojuangco.

Businessman Charlie ‘Atong’ Ang confirmed President Duterte tried to reconcile feuding sisters, Gretchen and Marjorie Barretto. He failed. Duterte vows to give it a second try and if he doesn’t succeed, he will resign.

Amid reports linking him to at least three Barretto women, Atong Ang claims he’s a “happily married man.” Imagine what would happen if he’s no longer happy with his marriage.

Atong Ang also confirmed the authenticity of a viral photo of him holding hands with Gretchen Barretto while sleeping during a flight overseas. Here’s a lesser-known fact: Atong Ang’s wife and Tonyboy Cojuangco both hated the 2006 movie, “Snakes on A Plane.”

Just a couple of days after its 18-minute exclusive interview with actress Marjorie Barretto, TV Patrol had another exclusive: a 13-minute interview with businessman Charlie ‘Atong Ang’ who has been romantically-linked to three Barretto women. Those interviews have fueled speculations TV Patrol is changing its title to The Buzz (TB) Patrol.

Marjorie Barretto has finally admitted she fell in love, and had an affair with former Caloocan City Mayor RECOM ECHIVERRI – giving so much hope to so many men out there.

Marjorie Barretto said her father died of

acute respiratory failure. But Gretchen Barretto insisted he died of heart attack. Watching them though, it’s possible the old man died of disappointment.

In other news…

After cutting short his recent Japan visit due to “unbearable pain,” President Duterte went to see a neurologist to have his spinal column checked. But things got really awkward when the neurologist started talking about Duterte’s policy on China and then told him, “Mr. President, I have nothing to check since you don’t have spine.”

President Duterte went to see a neurologist to have his spinal column checked. Malacaٌang says he needs to stay healthy to continue serving the country. He’ll do an even greater service to Filipinos if would have his brain examined too.

President Duterte has a new chief justice in the Supreme Court. He appointed Associate Justice Diosdado Peralta of Ilocos Norte to the post replacing Lucas Bersamin. Shortly after the appointment was announced, the Marcoses threw a victory party.

With Peralta as Chief Justice, Duterte spokesman Salvador Panelo expects the judiciary to uphold the principles of “integrity” and “independence.”

Of course, that was just another classic Panelo joke.

The Philippine Star reported that processed meat products of Mekeni Food Corporation such as hotdogs, longganisa and tocino tested positive for African swine fever or ASF. Health officials say ASF is not a risk on human health. But it definitely poses a risk on Mekeni’s business.

Health experts have previously issued a statement saying African swine fever only affects members of the pig family. That probably explains why congressmen are so worried.

New Zealand-based Filipino marine geophysicist, Jenny Anne Barretto and two others have reportedly discovered the existence of what could possibly be the largest caldera in the word. A caldera is a large crater formed when a volcano erupts and collapses. No, this post is not about President Duterte.

With a diameter of 150 kilometers, the Apolaki Caldera, which was discovered within the Benham Rise, is larger than America’s Yellowstone. What a discovery! What an achievement! To know that a Barretto was part of the team that discovered the caldera is an even bigger achievement.

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I’m on Twitter: @HecklerForever8

THE FLY AND THE PRESIDENT

Duterte tried to swat the fly away and even threatened to slap it with a piece of paper.

“Kagaya nitong langaw na ito. Kanina pa ‘yan sunod nang sunod sa akin. Naligo naman ako, mga buang.” ~President Duterte, 7.30.2019

LIST OF CHINESE SEA CREATURES

Beijing has declared these sea creatures as “Chinese.”

“It’s very difficult to say that there is exclusivity when it’s under water. The fish could be coming from China and the fish from the Philippines could be going to China.”

~Senate President Tito Sotto on whether the resources in the Philippine exclusive economic zone are exclusive to Filipinos

IN RESPONSE, Beijing has released its “official” list of “Chinese” sea creatures.

Here’s the full list:

1. Bisu Go

2. Ma Ya Ma Ya

3. Kandu Li

4. Alu Ma Han

5. Tu Na

6. Ta Hong

7. Ali Ma Ngo

8. Pa Ting

9. Tu Li Ngan

10. Bi Ya

11. Hi To

12. Sug Po

13. Tul Ya

14. Ayu Ngin

15. Ki Tang

16. Bu Tan Ding

17. Du Gong

18. Ga Lung Gong

China has also declared the following as Chinese: Ba Go Ong, Da ing, and Tu Yo.

For the information of Filipinos.

RESPECT, GMRC, THE LATE DUTERTE AND OTHER STORIES

Lani Mercado preaches respect and GMRC on Twitter. President Duterte arrives two hours late at the PMA graduation. Jimmy Bondoc vs. ABS-CBN, and more!


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“Respect commands itself and it can neither be given nor withheld when it is due.”
~Eldridge Cleaver

I am on Twitter and Instagram.

BUDOTS NATION (Stories from an election)

Duterte has won the midterm elections. It was an almost sweep for the administration-backed Hugpong ng Pagbabago candidates for senator.


BASED ON the latest partial and unofficial count, almost all of Duterte’s Hugpong ng Pagbabago candidates for senator emerged as winners in the midterm polls. Victory parties have been scheduled in Malacañang, Davao City, and Beijing.

According to the latest tally, re-electionist senator Cynthia Villar has grabbed the top spot. Among other things.

Bong Revilla, who is still facing 16 counts of graft, is currently in 10th place with more than 14 million votes. Confident of a victory, Revilla has sent ‘Thank you’ notes to his supporters, volunteers, and choreographer.

The Budots-dancing actor, who was once charged with plunder, received most of his votes from Pangasinan, Cavite, Cebu, Bulacan and Laguna. At least we now know where to channel our funds for education and mental health.

Bong Revilla’s best friend, and fellow plunder inmate, Jinggoy Estrada has yet to enter the Top 12. Looks like Jinggoy won’t be able to serve a fresh Senate term. Which is ok, because, soon, he’ll probably be serving a longer prison term.

Actor Lito Lapid, who has a pending graft case in connection with the fertilizer fund scam, is also in the Top 12. In preparation for his return to the Senate, Lapid has purchased a brand-new neck pillow.

Also in the winning circle is Duterte aide, Bong Go who is getting ready for his new job as Senate’s chief photographer.

Currently in fifth place is former police chief Bato de la Rosa who is now doing some research to prepare for his new post. For example, he has been asking incumbent senators if, during Senate hearings, committee members are allowed to cry.

If the trend won’t change, we will soon have Lito Lapid, Bong Go, Bong Revilla, Bato de la Rosa and of course, Manny Pacquiao in the Senate. Which begs the question, out of 105 million Filipinos, sila pa talaga?!

Former GMA 7 News reporter Jiggy Manicad has conceded defeat. In a statement, Jiggy said, “Ngayon, ang will ng Panginoon ay hindi pa muna. Siguro, may iba pa siyang assignment.” To which, God replied, “Yes, PTV 4. Thx.”

Juan Ponce Enrile, 95, also failed in his bid for a Senate seat. Congratulations, taxpayers!

As of 9pm, Tuesday. JV Ejercito is still in 13th place while his estranged brother Jinggoy, is in 15th place. When he learned about Jinggoy’s ranking, JV said, “I still feel like a winner.”

On election day, a sample ballot distributed by Sara Duterte’s Hugpong ng Pagbabago party showed (that) Koko Pimentel was dropped from Hugpong’s list of 12 senatorial candidates. In the latest tally, Koko has dropped to 11th place with a very slim lead over current 12th placer, Nancy Binay. Allies have started sending congratulatory messages to Inday Sara.

It’s Zero-Diretso for the decent, intelligent, and hardworking candidates of Otso Diretso in the senatorial race. If ever they’ll run again in future elections, they should learn more about the electorate, campaign strategies, and the ‘Budots’ dance steps.

Local Elections
Reelectionist Manila Mayor Joseph Estrada lost to Isko Moreno. Estrada is now looking for a new city where he can relocate before the 2022 elections.

During the campaign, Estrada said this would be his last election. Manila voters responded, “We’ll make sure of that.”

The Ejercitos/Estradas were clobbered in the midterm elections. They lost the city of San Juan to the Zamoras. Erap’s daughter, Jerika failed in her bid for councilor in Manila. Gary Estrada has conceded the vice mayoral post in Cainta. And ER Ejercito lost badly in the gubernatorial race in Laguna. At this moment, ER is still trying to figure out a way to blame his loss on Noynoy Aquino.

In yet another shocker, former vice president Jejomar Binay lost to former acting Mayor Kid Peña in the congressional race in Makati City’s first district. Reelected Mayor Abby Binay-Campos and estranged brother, Junjun have reportedly agreed to attend the wake of their dad’s political career – together.

Neophyte politician, Vico Sotto has ended the decades-old reign of the Eusebio clan in Pasig City. The 29-year-old Vico, son of Vic Sotto and Coney Reyes, won the mayoral contest against reelectionist Bobby Eusebio. The things we like most about Vico? He is young, transparent, and thinks differently than his uncle, Tito.
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“Tragedy should be utilized as a source of strength. No matter what sort of difficulties, how painful experience is, if we lose our hope, that’s our real disaster.”
~Dalai Lama XIV

Personal
To Otso Diretso and Team Pilipinas, thank you for your dedication and courage in fighting a decent fight. You’ve just started. Please stay with us.

For daily musings on society and politics, you may follow me on Twitter and Instagram: @hecklerforever8.

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Photo: TVC Screengrab

DARNA AT PULITIKA

Ano ang mangyayari kapag gumanap na ‘Darna’ sina President Duterte, Kris Aquino, Ben Tulfo, Imee Marcos at iba pang personalidad?

WHAT HAPPENS when political figures and other controversial personalities play the role of Pinoy superhero, Darna? Let’s find out.

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“When a stupid government is elected in a democratic country, the best thing about this is that you learn the number of stupid people in that country.”

~Mehmet Murat ildan

•Twitter/Instagram: @hecklerforever8

KMJS INVESTIGATES: ANG DIUMANO’Y MALAKING ARI NI DUTERTE

Dinayo ng aming team ang Davao City upang alamin ang katotohanan hinggil sa diumano’y malaking ari ng Pangulo.

PRESIDENT DUTERTE, in a recent public speech, said a man’s good looks were nothing if he’s got a small penis. He then bragged about his “huge” tool claiming its head almost reached his bellybutton. (You wish!). Read more about his graphic penis anecdotes here.

To verify the President’s claim, the country’s most-watched TV program, KMJS decided to investigate. Here’s what happened. (Note: Pretend that you’re the host while reading.)

XI JINPING TO DUTERTE: DEFEND ME NAMAN!

Xi Jinping: O, kinasuhan ako nina Del Rosario at Carpio Morales. Wala ka bang gagawin?

Former Foreign Affairs secretary Albert Del Rosario, former Ombudsman Conchita Carpio Morales, and a group of fishermen filed a complaint against Chinese President Xi Jinping before the International Criminal Court for crimes against humanity over environmental damage in the South China Sea.

When the news reached Xi Jinping, he immediately contacted Rodrigo Duterte.

Last Tuesday, March 19, the Philippine Drug Enforcement Agency (PDEA) seized 1.1 billion pesos worth of shabu in separate operations inside the posh Ayala Alabang Village and the upscale Alabang Town Center in Muntinlupa City. Chinese drug suspects were nabbed during the operations. PDEA officials reported the matter to their boss in Malacañang. Here’s what happened.

Interviewed by the media during a political rally in Cebu, Sara Duterte denied she’s eyeing the presidency in 2022.

I’m on Twitter: @HecklerForever8