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IMEE, MOVING ON AND MILLENNIALS

23 08 2018

THE LATE PHILIPPINE dictator Ferdinand Marcos amassed up to 10 billion dollars while in office. During martial law, some 34,000 were tortured, more than 3,000 were killed, and almost 400 disappeared never to be seen again. The Marcoses never apologized for the atrocities of the regime. There have been reports they’re willing to return a “portion” of their ill-gotten wealth but this too turned out to be BS.

Earlier this week, Imee Marcos, the dictator’s daughter, was quoted to have said, “The millennials have moved on, and I think people at my age should also move on as well.”

Thinking Filipino millennials have spoken via social media. Here are some of their responses via Twitter.

1Chewbacca

1CommissionSurvey

1Boyfriend

1Bruha

1Chuckie

1Crimes

1Crush

1Destroyed

1DiGets

1Docu

1DontUs

1ExLang

1Fabricated

1Gaga

1HarryPotter

1HowBad

1Hugot

1Jeggings

1Killer

1Kinulimbat

1Manggago

1Narrative

1SomethingThere

1Suffer

1Tae

1Tanga

1Tapyas

1Tonta
___________________________________________________________________________________
“Win or lose, we go shopping after the election.”
~Imelda Marcos

Sound Bites
“Only in the Philippines could a leader like Ferdinand Marcos, who pillaged his country for over 20 years, still be considered for a national burial. Insignificant amounts of the loot have been recovered, yet his wife and children were allowed to return and engage in politics.”
~Lee Kwan Yew, former Prime Minister of Singapore

Amen.

I am still on Twitter: @hecklerforever8

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#NasaanSiDuterte AND OTHER STORIES

13 08 2018

A_1Shabu Filters-Rappler
A TON of shabu worth about 7 billion pesos was recently smuggled into the Philippines from Taiwan and China. Authorities couldn’t believe the boldness of the smugglers. The smugglers couldn’t believe the friendliness of this government.

The news came out last week but President Duterte has yet to speak about, much less, against the multibillion-peso shabu shipment. That’s natural though when you don’t want to offend friends.

Empty magnetic lifters which contained hundreds of kilos of shabu were traced in a warehouse in Cavite. Caviteños are hereby encouraged to ignore any advice that will come from Vice Gov. Jolo Revilla.

The Presidential Anti-Corruption Commission is investigating reports Customs people had conspired with the smugglers of the P7-B drug shipment. The PACC will not rush to judgment though. It vows to exercise fairness and follow this government’s procedure in handling corrupt officials: 1: Investigate 2: File a case 3: Dismiss case 4: Reappoint.

#NasaanSiDuterte
Amid the latest calamity to hit the metro, the hashtag #NasaanSiDuterte trended on Twitter on Sunday. Netizens have been asking about President Duterte’s whereabouts. Since Thursday, not much has been heard from him – which is probably the best thing that ever happened in recent weeks.

1MarikinaABSCBN News.jpg

Q: What do President Duterte and the 7-billion-peso shabu shipment have in common?
A: Both are missing.

Thinkers
Finance Chief Carlos Dominguez III and Socioeconomic Planning Secretary Ernesto Pernia have both spoken against the proposed shift to the federal system of government. Dominguez and Pernia are both economic managers. They are both trusted men of Duterte. And both are gonna be jobless soon (probably).

Palace spokesman Harry Roque was quoted to have said, “I think there’s a 100 percent agreement that we’re (Cabinet) pushing for federalism.” Now that’s a shocker. Harry Roque “thinks?!”

1HunSen
Fake News
Someone hacked into the official Facebook page of Cambodian Prime Minister Hun Sen and posted fake information. Poor hackers! In the Philippines, people are even paid to post fake information on, about and for the President.

Social Media
A neuroscientist says social media is making people behave like three-year-olds. Duterte is not into social media. So, how do you explain his behavior?

Duterte Update:
It took a while before he reacted to the #NasaanSiDuterte question but Epal King, Bong Go told the media the President was “monitoring” the situation from Davao and Malacañang. “No worries. We’re fine,” replied the smugglers of the P7-B shabu shipment.
—————————————————————————————————————————-
“People are dying because of ignorance. They are dying because unremitting propaganda is denying them essential safety information. They are dying because the first casualty of war is truth, and the war on drugs is no different.”
~Dominic Milton Trott

Sound Bites
From forensic pathologist Raquel Fortun (Twitter):
1RFortun

Indeed!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: Shabu Filters: Ben Nabong/Rappler; Fernando G. Sepe Jr., ABS-CBN News]





ANG PULIS AT ANG TAMBAY

23 06 2018

1DeccanChr

Cop: Sumama kayo sa amin sa presinto!

Guy: At bakit kami sasama?

Cop: Nakatambay lang kayo!

Guy: Excuse me?!

Cop: Sabi ko mga tambay kayo! Wala kayong ginagawa!

Guy: Magdahan-dahan ka sa pananalita mo mamang pulis! Baka nakakalimutan mong nandito ka sa Presidential Communications Operations Office!

Cop: Kaya nga.

* * * * *

Cop: Pagdadamputin ang mga ‘yan!

Guy: Anong kasalanan namin?

Cop: Tambay kayo! Walang pakinabang sa inyo ang lipunan! ‘Yung iba sa inyo nagnanakaw pa!

Guy: ‘Tang ina ka ah. Pakiulit nga ang sinabi mo!

Cop: Grabe ka naman, Congressman, ‘di na mabiro. Sige po, aalis na kami.

* * * * *

Cop 1: Hoy mga tambay, sumama kayo sa amin!

Cop 2: Oo nga! Sumama kayo sa amin.

Cop 3: Matagal na kayong tambay dito!

Cop 4: Tama! Abuso na kayo!

Cop 1: O, bakit hindi kayo sumagot! Magsalita kayo!

Cop 2: Naku sir, hindi talaga sasagot ang mga ‘yan. Hindi nga pala sila nakakaintindi ng Tagalog.

Cop 1: Radyuhan mo ang Coast Guard. Sabihin mo, magpadala ng interpreter dito sa Scarborough Shoal.

* * * * *

Cop: Hulihin ang mga ‘yan. Posasan! Dalhin sa presinto!

Guy: Teka lang sir. Anong kaso namin?

Cop: Mga tambay kayo!

Guy: Ano?! Nasa loob kami ng bahay eh. Paanong ‘di kami tatambay?!?

Cop: Basta! Sumama na lang kayo sa amin! Utos ‘yan ni Presidente.

Guy: Sir, ilegal ang ginagawa n’yo! Wala kami sa daan.

Cop: ‘Pag sinabi kong tambay kayo, tambay kayo!

Guy: Sir, may CCTV sa tapat. Magpapatunay ‘yan na hindi kami tambay.

Cop: Ba’t ngayon mo lang sinabi?!? Pumasok na kayo sa bahay. Baka masagasaan kayo rito. We care for your safety.

* * * * *

Cop: Damputin ang mga ‘yan!

Guy: Teka lang, sir. Anong kaso namin?

Cop: Wala. Sabi lang ni Presidente, arestuhin ang mga tambay.

Guy: Kahit walang kaso aarestuhin n’yo kesyo sinabi ng Presidente n’yo?!

Cop: Sumusunod lang kami sa utos!

Guy: Eh kung utusan kayong kumain ng tae, gagawin n’yo?

Cop: Siyempre, hindi. Magtatanong muna kami!

Guy:

Cop: Itatanong namin kung kakamayin ba o kukutsarahin. Mabuti nang sure. Eh kung mapanis?!

* * * * *

Cop: Arestuhin ang mga ‘yan!

Guy: Sandali! Anong arestuhin?

Cop: ‘Wag ka nang magtanong! Utos ito ng Presidente!

Guy: Hoy! Nabasa mo na ba ang headline ngayon? Heto: itinanggi ni Duterte na nag-utos siyang arestuhin ang mga tambay.

1Tambay1

Cop: Kahapon pa ‘yan. Mamaya o bukas, magbabago na naman ‘yan ng statement.

Guy: Sabagay. May point ka, sir.

Cop: Arestado ka pa rin! Sa presinto ka na magsipsip.

* * * * *

Cop: Hulihin ang tambay na ‘yan!

Guy: Teka lang! Bakit n’yo ako aarestuhin?!

Cop: Utos ng Presidente eh!

Guy: Para ano? Isasama sa presinto, bubugbugin kapag nangatwiran tapos papatayin? At kapag nagtanong ang media, sasabihing may sayad kaya sinaktan ang sarili at tuluyang nag-suicide? Tapos kapag nabistong gawa-gawa ang kwento, sasabihin n’yo kinuyog ng kapwa inmates? At kapag pinagdudahan pa rin at hiningi ang CCTV, sasabihin, ‘di ito gumagana nang oras na mapatay? HOY, MGA PULIS. KILALA KO NA KAYO! KILALANG-KILALA NA NAMIN KAYO! #WagKami

Cop: Kupal ka! Ang dami mong daldal. Hindi tuloy kami maka-quota! Sa ibang bahay na nga lang kami hahanap ng tambay. Leche ka!

* * * * *

Cop 1: Arestuhin ‘yan!

Guy: Teka lang mga sir. Anong kaso ko?

Cop 2: Wala naman. Tambay ka lang.

Cop 3: ‘Tsaka utos ito ni Presidente.

Guy: Pwes, pakisabi sa presidente n’yo, kung sinuman siyang bobo siya na ‘di nakakaunawa sa batas, PUTANG INA N’YA! PUTANG INA TALAGA N’YA!

Cop 1:

Cop 2:

Cop 3:

Guy: Ano pang hinihintay n’yo? Posasan n’yo na ako. Tara na. Ang bagal.
________________________________________________________________________________
“You were put here to protect us. But who protects us from you?”
~KRS-One

1TambayArgon
Sound Bites
“Noong dinala sa district hospital sabi ko, bakit ganito ang sinapit ng kapatid ko, buong katawan niya magang-maga. Hinawakan ko ‘yung katawan niya. Ang tigas ng kapatid ko, parang kagabi pa nila pinatay. Binaboy n’yo po ‘yung kapatid ko. ‘Tapos sa sasabihin n’yo pa nagwala ang kapatid ko? Hindi na kayang magwala ng kapatid ko dahil simula’t sapul nanghihina na siya.”
~Marilou Argoncillo, sister of Genesis Argoncillo, 22, a ‘tambay’ who was arrested and then murdered inside a police station

This is on you, Rodrigo Duterte. You are evil.

FYI
0kkk

0kkk
I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photo: Deccan Chronicle; Rappler]





MURA LANG

31 05 2018

Playmates

1Mura v2





ROYAL WEDDING, BUHAY CARINDERIA, ATBP.

21 05 2018

RW
PRINCE HARRY and Meghan Markle exchanged vows at St. George’s Church in Windsor Castle. It was a spectacle that unified much of the country. But that’s nothing compared to the spectacle that is Rodrigo Duterte who wants to unify China and this country.

After the ceremony, Queen Elizabeth hosted a lunchtime reception at St. George’s Hall. The catering contract was apparently awarded to the Tulfo brothers through the help of Wanda Tulfo-Teo.

Later that night, the groom’s father, Prince Charles hosted a simpler yet elegant and more intimate dinner at nearby Frogmore House. But Charles was so frugal, food was served by Cesar Montano’s Buhay Carinderia clients – fully paid months before the event.

Celebrity A-listers, foreign royalty, religious figures as well as diplomats and politicians descended on Windsor for the royal occasion. Many people described the ceremony a “fairy tale wedding.” Kat De Castro described the event as “wrong timing.”

Reorganization
Speaking of fairy tales, Tito Sotto is going to be installed as Senate President soon. Let that sink in.

As its president, Tito Sotto says, he “will not allow the Senate to be degraded.” He forgot the word ‘further.’

Incoming Senate president Tito Sotto says, “I will not allow it to be degraded.” When sought for reaction, Manny Pacquiao said, “Hindi naman masakit.”

Updated 5.21.2018:
Tito Sotto has been elected Senate president. In his speech, Sotto said, “Ni sa panaginip ay hindi sumagi sa aking isipan na ako ay maluluklok bilang pangulo ng Senado.” In his defense, not even in our nightmares.

Bombers
Chinese long-range bombers have reportedly landed on the Paracel Islands in the South China Sea. Nearly all of the Philippines falls within the radius of the bombers. As of Sunday, May 20, Foreign Affairs Sec. Alan Peter Cayetano has not answered questions about the bombers. To be fair, Cayetano has finished drafting an official statement. He’s just seeking final approval from Beijing before releasing it.

PCGG
The Lower House voted to abolish the Presidential Commission on Good Government, the agency tasked to run after the Marcoses’ ill-gotten wealth. The PCGG’s functions will be transferred to the Office of Solicitor General Jose Calida, a known Marcos loyalist. Next up: the Lower House will target the abolition of the Dep’t. of Environment and Natural Resources and transfer its functions to the office of Cynthia and Manny Villar.

Saying it was long overdue, Imee Marcos insisted the PCGG should have been abolished “30 years ago.” Actually, the PCGG should have not been formed at all – if your thieving family did not pillage government coffers.

BPABS
Corruption
Newly-appointed Tourism secretary Bernadette Romulo-Puyat expressed shock over the alleged misuse of hundreds of millions of DOT funds by previous officials . When he heard this, Cesar Montano protested, “Correction please: hindi ako previous official!”

‘Buhay Carinderia’ is a video series aimed at promoting local food and eateries. Reports say the Tourism Promotions Board headed by chief operating officer Cesar Montano disbursed almost 90 percent of payment to the marketing agency although the project has not been completed. When it was exposed, Montano blamed Wanda Tulfo-Teo saying she pushed for the payment to her friend, Erlinda Legaspi, the agency’s owner. In a statement, Wanda Teo said, “I’m equally shocked. I didn’t know Erlinda is my friend.”

Updated 5.22.2010
Cesar Montano has resigned as chief operating officer of the Tourism Promotions Board. In his resignation letter, the actor thanked Duterte for giving him the opportunity to head the agency. With hundreds of millions of pesos at your disposal, who wouldn’t be thankful?

Attacked
In Balabac, Palawan, a fisherman saved his teenage son from a 15-feet long crocodile which attacked and bit him. Apparently, the son was preparing to go fishing alone when the animal attacked. The father was alerted when he heard his son yelling, “Saklolo! May taga-DOT dito! Saklolo!”
______________________________________________________________________________
“Whenever a man has cast a longing eye on offices, a rottenness begins in his conduct.”
~Thomas Jefferson

Sound Bites
“Hindi kayo pumasok ng gobyerno para mag-around the world.”
~Tourism Sec. Berna Romulo-Puyat to former DOT officials

Travel pa more.

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: Royal Wedding: Getty Images ; Berna Puyat:ABSCBN News]





SCHADENFREUDE

27 04 2018

SA MATA ng maraming frustrated at ngayo’y tumatawang Pinoy, ang mga nahulog sa nag-collapse na bridge sa Zamboanga ay hindi lang dalawang congressman. They represent every politician na sa tingin ng mga Filipino ay nagpapayaman lamang sa puwesto at pakitang-tao ang serbisyo.

Can you blame them? Bakit nga ba ang hirap makisimpatya sa mga pulitikong nalalagay sa alanganin?

Just imagine kung si House Speaker Pantaleon Alvarez pa ang nahulog do’n. Baka nag-bonfire sa iba’t ibang universities nationwide. (Seriously though, we’re glad that no one was seriously hurt.)

With that, I’m reposting some of the meanest and outrageous Twitter reactions to the Zambo footbridge collapse.

morebridge

KarmaSlaps

FakeNewsPeople
MatinongTulay

repir

Impyerno

Builbuilbuild

ganti

JFLaughs

Kawawa

malalim

MediaMileage

Nahulogg

TatakPDP

Substandard

Aling Vicky
___________________________________________________________________________________________
“Anyone in a position of power is either corrupt or assumed to be corrupt, and the assumption of corruption is as bad as the reality of it.”
~Stanley A. McChrystal

Sound Bites
“Nahulog kami ng aking mga kasama sa tulay na nilalakaran namin papunta sa mga housing on stilts sa Brgy Rio Hondo, Zamboanga City. Ang kakulangan sa maintenance sa paggawa ng mga tulay at bahay ay napakadelikado para sa mga residente lalo na sa mga bata.”
~Negros Rep. Alfredo Abelardo ‘Albee’ Benitez, Survivor

‘k.

Schadenfrreude

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Video: GMA News]






EXCLUSIVE: SHARON INTERVIEWS DUTERTE

3 04 2018

US PRESIDENT Donald Trump has declared April – “Sexual Assault Awareness Month.” In the Philippines, President Rodrigo Duterte is declaring May the “National Month Against Extrajudicial Killing.”

01MegadINNERBongGo
Mega Dinner
Sharon Cuneta, wife of Liberal Party president, Sen. Francis Pangilinan, recently dined with President Duterte at Malacañang. It was a much talked about meeting between a very famous, influential multimillionaire – and Sharon Cuneta.

Rumors say when Sharon Cuneta initially heard about the President’s dinner invitation, she excitedly asked Bong Go, “When? Where? What’s on the menu?”

While having dinner, Duterte and Cuneta even played a game. Sharon asked some questions and Duterte answered using the titles of his favorite Sharon Cuneta movies. Here is the full transcript:

SHARON: Noong nanalo po kayo bilang pangulo at naluklok sa palasyo, ano ang unang pumasok sa isip n’yo?

Duterte: Sana’y Wala Nang Wakas.

Napakalaki pong isyu ang pagpapakulong n’yo kay Senator De Lima. Sakali pong magkita ulit kayo, ano ang sasabihin n’yo sa kanya?

Babangon Ako’t Dudurugin Kita.

Palabiro ka talaga, Mr. President. Ano nga po palang pakiramdam n’yo kapag nakakarinig ng batikos mula sa ICC, UN at mga human rights groups?

Pasan Ko Ang Daigdig.

Ramdam ko nga po. Kumusta na ho si Pulong? Pardon my words but… gago pa rin ho ba?

Ngayon at Kailanman.

That’s sad.

‘Di Na Natuto.

Ang bad. Sa tingin n’yo ba magbabago pa siya?

Pagdating ng Panahon.

Hanga po ako sa closeness n’yo ni Sec. Bong Go. Para talaga kayong…

Magkapatid?

‘Yun nga po. Lagi kayong magkasama ‘no?

Oras-Oras, Araw-Araw.

Wow! Eh paano kung may magkasakit? Nasaan iyong isa?

Caregiver.

That’s really great. Samantalang kami ni Kiko, away-bati. Sa tingin n’yo po dapat ko na siyang hiwalayan?

Ikaw.

Sige po, pag-iisipan ko. May mga anak kami eh. Pero kung kayo ang tatanungin, sorry po, alam kong maraming problema ang Pilipinas, dapat na ba akong sumuko kung wala na akong nararamdaman?

Kahit Konting Pagtingin?!

Siyempre meron naman po Mr. President. But paano kung ‘di na ganun ang sinasabi ng utak ko?

Pati Ba Pintig ng Puso?

Minsan. Ay! Nag-o-overshare na ako. Pasensya na talaga Mr. President. Ang hirap kasi ng feeling na…

Biktima?

Medyo. Hayyyy, tama na nga. Baka sabihin nila napakadrama ko. Mabanggit ko lang Mr. President, nalulungkot ako kasi nag-“No!” sa reunion movie project namin si Gabby. Hoping pa naman akong matuloy ‘yon. Hayyyyyy. Ba’t kaya ganun?

Walang Karugtong ang Nakaraan.

Aray! Hindi naman po ako umaasa ng balikan. Diyos ko, ang tatanda na namin. Ang sa akin lang, kaunting pagpapahalaga naman sa pinagsamahan.

Dapat Ka Bang Mahalin?

Ouch. Ang sakit mo namang magsalita Sir! Come to think of it though, pagdating talaga sa love, lahat pantay-pantay ‘no? Mayaman man o mahirap, nabibigo.

Maging Sino Ka Man.

True. Speaking of love, grabe rin ang pagmamahal n’yo sa mga Marcos ‘no?

Kapantay ay Langit.

Pansin ko nga po – lalo na kay Bongbong na ongoing ang hiniling na recount. Hanggang saan po ang suporta n’yo sa isa’t isa?

Sa Hirap at Ginhawa.

Awww. Eh paano naman po ‘yong ‘di mamatay-matay na isyu ng pagnanakaw against the Marcoses?

Forgive and Forget.

I luveeeet! Sanga pala, ang laking isyu rin ng pag-welcome n’yo sa China. ’Yong pag-handle n’yo sa usapin ng mga isla natin, iniintriga. Ano bang policy natin when it comes to our islands?

Buy One, Take One.

Ayyy! Sige po, hindi na kita pagpapaliwanagin. Pero sure akong ‘di ‘yan gusto ng mga taga-Liberal. Malapit na ang eleksyon. ‘Di ba kayo nati-threaten sa Senate slate nila?

Bituing Walang Ningning.

Ang mean!!! Last na lang, any message Mr. President sa UN at sa International Criminal Court.

Bukas Luluhod ang mga Tala.

‘Yun na! Maraming salamat Mr. President. Sana nandiyan kayo lagi para sa aming lahat na nagmamahal sa ‘yo.

Kung Kailangan Mo Ako.

Talaga Sir?

Pangako Sa ‘Yo. Cross My Heart.

Sweeet! Sige, kain ka na Sir.

Tayong Dalawa. Ayan o, may lechon pa!

Awww! My Only Love!

-End of Interview-

Kiko
Sen. Kiko Pangilinan says the country needs “a strong opposition to ensure that our democracy remains vibrant.” But Pangilinan admits they may not be able to field a complete Senate slate next year. Heck, he can’t even get the support of his own wife.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
“You’re not to be so blind with patriotism that you can’t face reality. Wrong is wrong, no matter who does it or says it.”
~Malcolm X, ‘By Any Means Necessary’

Sound Bites
Resistance is our movement. We must vigorously resist the slide to authoritarianism and anti-democratic rule.”
~Sen. Kiko Pangilinan

True.

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photo: Bong Go]





UNEDITED: DUTERTE’S ORIGINAL HOLY WEEK MESSAGE

25 03 2018

1ddd

Mensahe ng
Kagalang-galang Rodrigo R. Duterte
Pangulo ng Pilipinas
Sa Sambayanang Pilipino
Ukol sa Mahal na Araw
[Ika-25 ng Marso 2018]

Mga kababayan,

Nakikiisa ako sampu ng aking Gabinete sa paggunita ng mga Kristiyano sa pagpapakasakit at pagkamatay ni Hesukrito.

Katulad ni Hesus, tayong mga Pilipino ay dapat magtiis at magsakripisyo. Kung patuloy ang pagtaas ng presyo ng gas at mga bilihin, magtiis. Kung wala pa ring hinto ang extrajudicial killing, magtiis. Kung napakatagal ng oras sa paghihintay sa laging sirang MRT, magtiis. Kung walang pagbabago sa traffic, magtiis. Si Hesus nga, hindi nagreklamo, kayo pa kaya?

Maling sabihing walang basehan ang mga patakarang ipinatutupad ko. Sumusunod lamang ako sa nasusulat sa banal na aklat.

Si Barabbas o si Hesus?! Sino ba ang pinalaya: ang kriminal o ang walang sala? Ito ang inspirasyon ko kung bakit ang mga big-time drug lords ay aking pinakawalan habang patuloy ang persekusyon kay Leila De Lima at sa iba pang kritiko ng aking pamahalaan.

Maraming nagagalit kay Hudas dahil ipinagkanulo nito si Hesus kapalit ng ilang pirasong pilak. Biktima ng fake news si Hudas. Kung may Rappler, Inquirer at ABSCBN news noon, malamang hindi nila ibinalita ang positibong aspeto ng ginawa nito. Ginamit siya ng Panginoon upang maganap ang nasusulat.

Nakikita ko ang aking sarili kay Hudas. Gayunman, hindi tatlumpong pirasong pilak lamang ang kapalit ng mga isla sa West Philippine Sea. Napakalaking halaga ng ipauutang sa atin ng China. Ito ang bubuhay sa ating ekonomiya. Kaya’t labis akong nagtataka kung bakit inaakusahan ako ng pagtatraydor sa bayan. Hindi ito pagtatraydor. Ito ay pagmamalasakit.

Ang sabi ng aking mga kritiko, biktima ng extrajudicial killing si Hesus. Bakit? Hindi ba’t mga tao mismo noon ang humiling na ipako ito sa krus? Sa katunayan, ayon sa pananaliksik nina Martin Andanar at Mocha Uson ng Presidential Communications Office, aabot sa 16 million ang humiling kay Poncio Pilato na ipako sa krus si Hesus. Ibinalita ba ‘yan ng Rappler at Inquirer? Hindi!

Heto pa: sa pagkamatay ni Hesus ay nahugasan ang kasalanan ng mga masasama. Katulad ng EJK noon, maganda ang layunin ng EJK ngayon, ang linisin ang masasama.

Noong panahon ni Hesus, wala ni isa mang human rights group ang bumatikos sa pagpatay sa kanya. Pero ngayon, grabe ang ginagawang pakikialam ng UN at iba pang human rights organizations sa nagaganap na pagpatay sa bansa. ‘Tangina nila. ‘Pag ako nabuwisit, hindi lang sa ICC tayo aalis. Pati UN at Solar System lalayasan natin!

Ang Kuwaresma ay panahon ng fasting. Ito ay isang paraan ng sakripisyo upang mapalapit sa Itaas. Sa mga Filipinong araw-araw ay gutom dahil walang makain, huwag n’yong sisihin ang gobyerno. Isipin n’yo na lang na mas mapapalapit kayo sa Panginoon.

Ang Kuwaresma ay panahon din ng pagbabago. Gusto kong gamiting halimbawa ang aking tagapagsalitang si Harry Roque. Lahat ng ipinaglaban niya noon, tinalikuran na niya ngayon. Wala siyang hininging ginto, pilak o pera. Endorsement lang sa susunod na eleksyon, pwede na. Mabuhay ka!

Bago ako magtapos, gusto ko lang ipaalala: ang tunay na Kristiyano ay tahimik na gumugunita sa Mahal na Araw. Kung talagang mahal n’yo ang gobyerno at ang bansang ito, tatahimik na lang kayo. Tigilan n’yo na ang pag-iingay, pagpuna at pambabatikos sa ginagawa ng aking administrasyon. Kung hindi kayo tatahimik, putang ina n’yo, bilang na ang mahal na araw n’yo!  Patatahimikin ko kayo!

Hanggang dito na lamang. Maraming salamat at nawa’y maging ligtas ang inyong bakasyon. Huwag manlalaban. [Pastilan!]
—————————————————————————————————————————————
“A traitor leader is the outcome of a fool nation.”
~M.F. Moonzajer, ‘30 Pieces’

Sound Bites
My reading of the philosophy behind the creation of the ICC tells me this: If we want a world that allows no room for impunity, humanity must have recourse to a supranational mechanism for exacting accountability and dispensing justice, even where the actual victims themselves may have forgiven their oppressors.
~Prof. Randy David, ‘President Duterte is not the Philippine State’

Have a safe week! Enjoy your vacation!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photo: Inquirer.net]





NAPOLES AND THE PORK BARREL SCAM

22 03 2018

1Napoles2
IN JULY 2013, the Philippine Daily Inquirer, in a series of investigative reports, exposed the multibillion-peso pork barrel scam. According to the report, “billions of pesos in Priority Development Assistance Fund (PDAF) allocations of senators and members of the House of Representatives were diverted to bogus NGOs set up by businesswoman Janet Lim-Napoles.”

The alleged pork barrel scam queen is in the news again. Vitaliano Aguirre announced she has been provisionally accepted to the DOJ’s witness protection program. Duterte fanatics, who, in 2013, lauded the arrest and detention of Napoles are now either expressing support for or keeping mum on Aguirre’s decision. What a shame! Kadiri talaga kayo.

I am thus republishing some of my posts on or about Napoles and the pork barrel scam from 2013. Lest we forget…

A PHILIPPINE DAILY INQUIRER report says Janet Napoles owns at least 28 houses… the biggest of which are the two Houses of Congress.

1Napoles3
Rappler.Com published a photo showing Janet Lim-Napoles in a party with lawmakerslike Bong Revilla and Jinggoy Estrada. Sought for reaction, Gus Abelgas said, “Hindi nagsisinungaling ang ebidensya.”

According to the whistleblowers, Janet Lim-Napoles is using code names for some lawmakers she’s having transactions with. The alleged pork barrel queen uses the alias “Pogi” for Bong Revilla and two code names for Jinggoy Estrada. One is “Kuya” – which is self-explanatory – and another is “Sexy” – which tarnishes the witnesses’ credibility.

Juan Ponce Enrile has been repeatedly linked to Janet Lim-Napoles. In fact, she allegedly uses the code name “Tandâ” for him. When Enrile heard this, he said, “Inuulit ko, hindi ko kilala si Pangit.”

Reports say around 750,000 pages of documents and evidence were turned over by the Department of Justice to the Office of the Ombudsman. The Ombudsman vows to file charges before the Sandiganbayan as soon as possible. President Aquino’s term ends in two and a half years. They don’t have much time. To which Enrile said, “Lalo naman ako!”

Bong Revilla appealed to the public to not prejudge him. He also denied accusations he put the “bong” in “pandarambong.”

1Napoles
According to Sen. Miriam Defensor Santiago, lawmakers who were linked to the pork barrel scam must immediately take a leave of absence out of delicadeza. To which, lawmakers replied, “Ano ‘yon?!”

A survey conducted by Inquirer.Net showed 96.2 percent of Filipinos wanted the pork barrel abolished. The other 3.8 percent were lawmakers and their relatives.

Alleged pork barrel queen Janet ‘Jenny’ Lim-Napoles insisted her wealth came from legitimate business. For the bad publicity she has been getting of late, Napoles is blaming her enemies: the Philippine Daily Inquirer, Rappler, and the truth.

Latest reports say Janet Napoles may have escaped using one of three luxury yachts docked at the Manila Yacht Club. Lorna Kapunan insists Janet Napoles doesn’t own a yacht. To be fair, she owns the government.

On Wednesday, lawyer Lorna Kapunan denied that Napoles owned luxury yachts. She reiterated that her client wasn’t involved in the pork barrel scam, and she denied knowing her whereabouts. Survey: Sinong naniniwala sa mga sinabi ni Lorna Kapunan? Itaas ang kanang kamay… ‘tapos, sampalin nang malakas ang sarili!

Asked by Jessica Soho if she believed that Janet Napoles was clean, and not a corrupt person, Lorna Kapunan answered, “I think I need a lawyer.” The Napoleses replied, “I think you need a new client.”

1Napoles5
According to former senator Edgardo Angara, alleged pork barrel scam perpetrator Janet Lim-Napoles must be spared from “prejudicial publicity” to ensure a fair trial. Watch out Lorna Kapunan! Someone wants your job.

Former congressman Prospero Pichay has vouched for the goodness of character of the Napoles couple and refuses to believe they had anything to do with the pork barrel scam. Because if there’s someone who’s in a position to best defend a suspected crook, it has to be a person of untarnished reputation, good morals, and unimpeachable character like Prospero Pichay, right?

Ex-solon Prospero Pichay defended Janet Lim-Napoles and her husband against allegations they masterminded the P10-B pork barrel scam. In other news, Kim Kardashian says Lindsay Lohan is the best role model for today’s youth.

Pork Inquiry
The Senate has an ongoing investigation on the pork barrel scam. Several reports say the alleged pork barrel queen may be invited to face the senators – or as Janet Napoles would call it, “reunion.”

Janet Lim-Napoles may soon face the senators in the ongoing pork barrel scam probe. It will probably be the most awkward moment in the history of Philippine legislature.

Benhur Luy
The camp of Janet Lim-Napoles has started to discredit the principal whistleblower, Benhur Luy saying he had “gender confusion and sexual indiscretion issues.” Asked to comment on the revelation, Benhur’s lawyer said, “Kebs!”

Identified by former employees as the mastermind of the 10 billion peso-pork barrel scam, Janet Lim-Napoles retaliates and accuses principal whistleblower, Benhur Luy of being an ecstasy user. Napoles said Benhur “needs to be reformed.” Benhur replied, “You first!”

1Napoles4
Remember Janet Lim-Napoles’ daughter Jeane who flaunted photos of her Porsche, LVs, YSLs, Chanels, Louboutins and Celines in social media? Lawyer Lorna Kapunan says everyone should be proud of people like Jeane. I don’t think everyone will be proud of lawyers like Kapunan.

According to research firm MillWard Brown, the top 10 global luxury brands of 2013 are Louis Vuitton, Hermes, Gucci, Prada, Rolex, Chanel, Cartier, Burberry, Fendi and Coach. Or as Jeane Napoles would say, “My entire closet.”

Fugitive businesswoman Janet ‘Jenny’ Lim-Napoles has filed four libel suits against journalists, a blogger and a fashion designer. She claimed her daughter Jeane got sick after she read reports on her lavish lifestyle. Well, her lavishness was sickening.

Typhoon Nakaw
A petition asking PAGASA to name typhoons after corrupt politicians has been launched online. But the weather bureau rejected it because there’s not enough typhoons to accommodate all names.
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“Three groups spend other people’s money: children, thieves, politicians. All three need supervision.”
~Dick Armey

Sound Bites
“As long as government is there, there is money.”
~Janet Lim-Napoles

You bet.

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: Janet Lim-Napoles, Jeane Napoles: Inquirer.net; Bong, Jinggoy et al: Rappler]





THE OSCARS, MONSTERS & POLITICS

8 03 2018

SOWP
‘THE SHAPE OF WATER’ won Best Picture at the 90th Academy Awards. Helmed by Mexican director Guillermo Del Toro, ‘The Shape of Water’ tells the story of a woman who fell in love with a monster. The film’s working title was ‘Honeylet.’

Frances McDormand won the best actress Oscar for the film ‘Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri.’ In her acceptance speech, she shared the award with her fellow nominees Meryl Streep, Sally Hawkins, Saoirse Ronan, Margot Robbie and Persida Acosta.

Best Actress winner Frances McDormand played the role of Mildred Hayes – an angry, grieving mother seeking justice for her daughter. Official reports say Mildred’s daughter has been murdered — although the VACC insisted she died due to the Dengvaxia vaccine.

3B
In her Oscar winning performance, Frances McDormand played the role of a devastated mother seething at the lack of progress in the case of her murdered daughter. Using three billboards on the outskirts of her town, she wages war against the local police chief who was reportedly a regular at videoke parties, concerts, press conferences, Congressional hearings, and other social events.

Duterte mouthpiece Harry Roque watched the telecast of the 90th Academy Awards. Roque was raving about and rooting for ‘Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri’ when the ceremonies started. Before it was over, he was cheering for ‘The Shape of Water.’

TPost.jpg
Meryl Streep now has 21 Oscar nominations including a best actress nod for her role as publisher Katharine Graham in the movie ‘The Post,’ a best picture nominee. Steven Spielberg directed ‘The Post’ which tackled the importance of freedom of the press. Rodrigo Duterte calls it “the worst film in recent years.”

In the movie, then US President Richard Nixon tried to stop the Washington Post from releasing damning evidence about America’s unwinnable war in Vietnam. When the newspaper ran a series of investigative stories on the Watergate scandal, Nixon retaliated by barring reporters of the Post from entering the White House. When Mocha Uson heard this, she asked her Facebook followers, “Naniniwala ba kayong ang Watergate scandal ay produkto lamang ng fake news?”

‘The Shape of Water’ actor Doug Jones says it took five hours for make-up artists to transform him into a fish. In comparison, it took Harry Roque one term in Congress to transform himself into Duterte’s bitch.

It took five hours (per day!) to transform ‘The Shape of Water’ actor Doug Jones into a sea monster. Unconfirmed reports say director Guillermo Del Toro almost considered casting Jose Calida for the role to save time.

DH
Gary Oldman won best actor for his performance as Winston Churchill in the World War II drama ‘Darkest Hour.’ His incredible transformation also took five hours to finish. Generating a lot of social media buzz of late is the ongoing (and troubling) transformation of Associate Justice Marvic Leonen.

Spoiler Alert: In ‘The Shape of Water,’ Eliza (Sally Hawkins) had sex with a ‘fish.’ That is hardly shocking considering that Congressional spouses have been sleeping with crocodiles for decades.
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“I am not fit for this office and never should have been here.”
~Warren G. Harding

Sound Bites
But the idea of allowing China to exploit part of the Philippines’ exclusive economic zone is not only dangerous but also unlawful, Carpio warned: The “co-ownership” model would amount to ceding half of the West Philippine Sea to the Chinese, and “there is absolutely no way under the Constitution” that any sitting Philippine administration could give away the national patrimony like that.
~Editorial, Not only dangerous but unlawful

“If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.”
~Margaret Thatcher

Happy International Women’s Day!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: Frances McDormand: People.com; Getty Images (Jones); Courtesy of Fox Searchlight (Still); Gary Oldman:Youtube, Focus Pictures]





LOVE IN THE TIME OF DENGVAXIA

11 02 2018

IN CELEBRATION of Valentine’s Day 2018, here are some timely ‘hugot’ lines. Enjoy!

1Roque

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1WPS

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1Peso

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1Persida

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1MRT

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1Marcoses

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1Pulong

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1LowerHouse

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1BG

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1Inflation

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1RIT

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2WPS

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1fAKEGuirre

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1Bro
1Tanga

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1d
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“An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her.”
~Agatha Christie

Sound Bites
“Ang kailangang i-assert natin ‘yung sovereignty natin. Hindi kailangang hintayin natin kung kailan sila aalis. Kailangang mas matibay ang ating paninidigan; ipaglaban natin ‘yung ating teritoryo.”
~House Deputy Speaker Lorenzo “Erin” Tañada III

Exactly.

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photo Sources: Harry Roque/ West Philippine Sea: Inquirer.Net; MRT 3: Dax Lucas via Mapio.net; Persida Acosta: Rappler; News; Mocha Uson: Philstar.com; TRAIN Infographic: ABSCBN News; Rice: PhilStar.com; Veggies: Rappler; Bato: Philstar; Aguirre: Rappler; Peso Bills: Rappler; Duterte Finger: Reuters]





“BIIIIIMB!” [KRISSY’S REALIZATIONS]

4 02 2018

1BIMB
HELLLLLLO! Nagulat kayo ‘no? I’m sure na-miss n’yo ‘ko! Aminin n’yo!

As I have said last week, afraid ang TV networks na bigyan ako ng show because of politics. Kainis ‘di ba?! Kaya dito na muna ako – paraket-raket online. Pero in fairness huh, never akong iniwan ng sponsors. Kaya look at me, look o, ang kinis-kinis ko pa rin. Glowing! Thank you Ever Bilena. Sabi nga ni Bimb kagabi, “Moooooooom, you don’t look like my mother na. We look like sisters already!” Naloka ako. Sabi ko, “Biiiiiiimb, it’s SIBLINGS not sisters! Hay naku, iba-bash ka na naman ng dirty-looking, homophobic broadcaster na laging talo sa elections!” Aha-ha-ha!

Anyway, thank you so much sa mga patuloy na nagtitiwala. I told Ate Ballsy nga, sa mga ganitong pagkakataon mo talaga malalaman ang tunay na nagmamahal sa ‘yo. ‘Di ba?! ‘Yong tipong down na down ka ‘tapos makaka-receive ka ng call saying, “Krissy, we want you to endorse our product!” I swear, naiiyak ako. It just goes to show na love love love pa rin n’yo talaga ako.

In fact, just an hour ago, may nag-inquire through text. Ang sabi, “Krissy, willing ka bang mag-endorse ng memorial plan?” Lalo akong naiyak. Ba’t ganun? Hindi pa naman dead ang career ko ‘di ba? I politely declined. ‘Tapos sabi ni Bimb, “Mooooooooom, but you’re dead na dead kay Tito Herbert!” Nakakaloka. Sabi ko, “Biiiiiiiiimb! That’s our secret, ‘di ba? ‘Wag mo naman akong ilaglag.” Aha-ha-ha!

Hay naku. Basta! Life goes on may TV show man o wala. This too shall pass. Hindi sila forever sa pwesto. May araw din kayo. Jooooooke! For sure, galit na si Mom sa heaven. “Krissy, behave! Don’t be vindictive!”

Fine. Quiet na lang ako. Aha-ha-ha.

Anyway, nag-monitor kami ni Bimb ng news nitong mga nakaraang araw, and we learned quite a few things. I wanna share them with you.

Una, last week ko lang nalaman na doktor na pala si Persida Acosta. Nakakaloka! Akala ko lawyer siya. She was insisting na super dami ng namatay sa Dengvaxia. Pati appendix na pumutok, Dengvaxia pa rin. May conclusions na agad siya. Even Bimb was like, “Moooooooooom, that’s sooo scary. Was I vaccinated?” Sabi ko, “No Bimb. There’s no need for that. Walang mosquitoes sa house ‘coz it’s so clean.”

Sabi niya, “’k!”

Aha-ha-ha! Bimb is so me talaga.

Na-realize ko rin last week, Pinoys are really bad at geography pala. Akala ng marami, nasa Batangas ang Tagaytay; nasa Bataan ang Corregidor, at nasa Saudi ang Dubai. All wrong! Pero ang ‘di ko kinaya, ‘yong sabihing matatagpuan sa Naga ang Mayon Volcano!!!! ‘Di baaa???? Kailan pa inilipat? In fairness huh, ‘di ‘yun nabalita! Nakakaloka. Ang tanga-tanga! But that’s fine. We all make mistakes. Hindi na ako lalayo. Akala ko nga noon, matatagpuan ang happiness sa lalaki. I was so wrong. Baka sabihin naman ni Bimb, “Moooooooooooom, you’re so emo!” Inunahan na kita Bimb. I am! Aha-ha-ha!

I remember so well, when Kuya Noy was still in office, sobrang haba lagi ng pila sa MRT. I should know, na-experience ko ‘yan, remember?

Tapos every month yata, may sira. So the people were like so gigil na talaga. And then nagamit pa ‘yon sa campaign against Mar Roxas. Ang ending: lost! Fast forward to 2018, naloka ako sa news na everyday pala, twice or thrice nasisira ang MRT. Super walk sa riles ang mga commuters! Every other day! And then Bimb said, “Mooooooooom! Why is this still happening? Tito Noy is no longer the president.” Aray ko!

“Biiiiiiiimb! You’re so mean to your Tito Noy! Hindi niya na fault ‘to! Mag-apologize ka! Now na.”

“’k. Sorry!”

Hindi n’yo naitatanong, super relate ako sa mga commuters. Trust me, I know the feeling! ‘Yong pinasakay ka, ‘tapos kapag ini-enjoy mo na ang lahat, sasabihin sa ‘yo, “We need to stop. Hanggang dito na lang tayo. This isn’t working.”

Ang sakit!

“Mooooooom! Tito Herbert again?! Move on na, ok?”

“Biiiiiiiiiimb!”

“Moooooooom! I said, move on.”

“Fine!”

And then, another lesson we learned: Kung basketball player pala si Harry Roque, kakabugin niya si Vince Carter ng Sacramento Kings. By the way, Carter recently turned 41 and in fairness huh, he’s still very much active! And he can still score. Unlike some palaos na players I know.

“Moooooooom! You’re so bitter! He’s still my dad.”

“Biiiiiiiiimb! I didn’t mention names.”

“Moooooom! I know you. Aminin mo. You’re talking about my dad.”

“Fine!”

Back to Harry Roque. I remember him leading and hosting some protest rallies in and out of UP. Like, he was this brave, principled human rights lawyer who was making laban for the country. So ‘yung pag-360 niya sa issues, malala pa kesa kay Carter. Hindi ko talaga kinaya nang sabihin niyang waste of taxpayers’ money ang pagsama sa rally ng mga taga-UP. SAY WHAT?!?

“And Mom, he also said we needed fake news to know true news.”

“I know, Bimb! Kadiri ‘di ba? Trapong-trapo na talaga every inch of his skin.”

“And that’s a lot of skin, Mom.”

“Biiiiiiimb! That’s bad.”

“But you started it.”

“I didn’t say he’s fat.”

“Did I say fat, Mom? I said, ‘lot of skin.’”

“You’re so good at this Bimb! Kainis ka!

“I’m your son, remember?”

“True!”

1FabFlavius
And lastly, I have to say this, the government can learn a thing or two sa kaso ni Ricci Rivero ng La Salle. I haven’t been following collegiate basketball pero na-shock ako nang bonggang-bongga when I heard na kinick out ng La Salle ‘yung Rivero brothers, and a certain Brent Paraiso. Sorry, ‘di ako familiar sa kanya.

I mean, rules are rules. Kapag may ginawa kang bad o may na-violate ka, you should face the consequences of your actions. Unfortunately sa admin na ito, kapag tanga ka, kapag may mali ka, or worse, kapag pumatay ka, mapu-promote ka pa. Mabibigyan ka pa ng pwesto. ‘Di ba? Nakakaloka.

I’m from Ateneo but I salute La Salle. Kahit medyo tumaas ang kilay ko sa rason ng pagli-leave daw ni Ricci and those two other players, I believe na tama ang ginawa ng school. Fair but sad.

Aminin n’yo! Nanghinayang kayo kay Ricci! Sa other two, ‘di masyado. Aha-ha-ha! Pero kay Ricci, I’m sure concerned na concerned kayo!

“Mooooooooom! Ricci is only 19.”

“Why?!? What did I say?”

“Moooom, it’s obvious. You’re flirting. You’re hitting on him.”

“Biiiiiiiiiimb!”
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Proclaim the truth and do not be silent through fear.
~Catherine of Siena

Sound Bites
“In fact, the deaths of 13 of the 14 autopsied (by PAO) were totally unrelated to the vaccine. We urge the Department of Justice to order PAO to stop performing autopsies on these children and to leave the matter of determining the cause of death to competent forensic pathologists.”
~Doctors for Public Welfare

Threat
President Duterte has threatened to kick out UP students who continue to hold protest actions against his administration saying they’re wasting people’s money. How about the people’s money spent on Mocha Uson and Duterte’s keyboard warriors? What do you call that, saving?

‘Wag kami.

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: Kris Aquino on Instagram; @FabulousFlavius for Ricci Rivero’s photo]





MOCHA USON ON UST-AA AWARD: NALOKA AKO! (EXCLUSIVE!)

23 01 2018

MOCHA

“UNANG-UNA, gusto ko munang magpasalamat sa UST Alumni Association sa award na ito. Noon, Best Dance Album lang mula PMPC ang nakukuha kong award. Ngayon, UST Alumni Association na ang nagpaparangal sa akin. Grabe, I have arrived.

May gusto lang po akong linawin tungkol sa award na ito. Hindi ko po ito inexpect at hindi ko po ito hiningi. Hinangad ko po ito. Prangkahan na.

Aaminin ko rin po, nang kilalanin ng Inquirer si Jover Laurio bilang Filipino of the Year, gumuho ang mundo ko. Isang linggo akong hindi nakakain. Limang araw akong hindi nakatulog at tatlong araw akong hindi nakapag-isip. Baka sabihin n’yo naman, “Sus, tatlong araw lang? Hindi ba isang taon na?” Inunahan ko na kayo. Pakyu.

Sabi ko, “’King inang PAB ‘yan. Naunahan pa akong magka-award! Chaka! Dasal lang, Mocha. Dasal lang talaga, sabi nga ni Alma. Hintay ka lang, darating din ang para sa ‘yo.” At ‘di pa nga lumilipas ang dalawang linggo, dumating na ang pinakahihintay ko: ang Thomasian Alumni Award for Government Service.

GOVERNMENT SERVICE.

Naloka ako.

Naloka ang buong España.

Naloka si Pia Ranada.

Naloka ang mga Dilawan at maging mga Ka-DDS.

Naluka si Suzanne Vega.

Naloka ang natitirang hibla ng katinuan ko.

Pero anong magagawa ko? Blessing ito ni Lord. Ibinigay sa akin ito. Tatanggihan ko ba?

Umalma ang mga estudyante. Nagalit ang mga graduates ng UST. Nainsulto raw ang ilang alumni na una nang tumanggap ng parangal mula sa UST-Alumni Association. Nagbanta silang ibabalik ang tinanggap nilang award.

Pero hindi po ako natinag. Nagpakatatag po ako para kay Tatay Digong.

Hanggang sa mabasa ko ang sinabi ng mga opisyal ng UST-AA. Wala raw talagang set of criteria sa pagpili ng aawardan. Kahit sino raw, basta’t graduate ng UST, puwedeng bigyan ng award.

Napalunok po ako. Matagal ko na itong hindi ginagawa pero napalunok talaga ako.

Ano ‘to?!? Recognition Day sa elementary? Lahat ng bata may “Most” Award para walang umiyak? Most Punctual, Most Courteous, Most Helpful?!?

Inaamin ko po – nasaktan ako. Nanlambot.

Napahiya ako sa aking sarili.
Napahiya ako sa aking pamilya.
Napahiya ako sa aking bansa.
Napahiya ako sa susunod na henerasyon.

Lumuhod ako. Pumikit. Taimtim na nagdasal at humingi ng sign kay Lord kung ibabalik ko o hindi ang award. Naghintay ako… isang minuto, limang minuto, sampung minuto.

Kahit isang sign lang, Lord… PLEASE.

Isang oras akong naghintay pero wala akong natanggap na sign. Sumakit na ang tuhod ko sa pagkakaluhod pero wala talaga. WALA. Ibig sabihin, hindi ko dapat isauli ang award. Tinapos ko ang pagdadasal. Nag-sign of the cross na ako. Pagtayo ko, napautot ako.

Lord, not counted.

Bad trip! Hayyyyy. Labag man sa aking kalooban, susundin ko ang will ni Lord. A sign is a sign. Ngunit sa mga bumabatikos sa akin at sa UST Alumni Association, isa lang ang maipapayo ko sa inyo: ipagdasal n’yong mawala na ang inggit sa inyong mga katawan – lalo na kayong mga Dilawan! Punyeta kayo!

Sa mga Ka-DDS na patuloy na sumusuporta, maraming salamat po! Tuloy ang laban para kay Tatay Digong!

And finally, congratulations din nga pala kay Sir John Simon, ang vice president ng UST Alumni Association na na-appoint kamakailan ni Tatay Digong sa Customs. #GoUSTe

1M

‘Yun lang po. Thank you.”
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“People always clap for the wrong reasons.”
~J.D. Salinger

Sound Bites
“You have the right to embrace tyranny and bask on the perks granted the slavish. We will fight for our rights. And we will overcome.”
~Journalist Inday Varona’s reply to Duterte fanatic, Mocha defender, and award-winning writer Rebecca Añonuevo, a UST alum

Resist.

[Photos: The Varsitarian; UST-AA President Henry Tenedero on FB]





PISTING YAWA!

13 01 2018

1senate
THE FIRST pre-election survey conducted by the Social Weather Stations showed Lito Lapid winning a Senate seat if elections were held today. Lapid is left wondering. How many times does he have to prove he’s unfit for the job?

If elections were held today, even Lito Lapid wouldn’t vote for Lito Lapid.

Jinggoy Estrada, who is facing corruption and plunder charges, also fared well in the survey. Respondents put him in 7th place. Filipinos being Filipinos. They deserve him.

Tough-talking radio host and Duterte defender Erwin Tulfo placed 12th in the SWS survey. Tulfo, known for being foul-mouthed like Duterte fared well not inspite of, but because of it.

Dreaming
Defeated vice presidential candidate Bongbong Marcos, who was also in the Magic 12, said he would not run for senator in 2019 because he “already won as vice president.” In other news, Elvis Presley is still alive; Hitler has been confirmed as the son of Jose Rizal, and a ‘snakeman’ was found inside a fitting room at Robinsons Galleria.

(Mis)Quoting
Bongbong Marcos recently tweeted, “During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a universal act. – Novelist George Orwell.” Apparently though, Bongbong wrongly attributed the quote to the novelist as pointed out by human rights lawyer Ruben Carranza. Bongbong quickly defended himself saying, “To be fair, ang anak kong si Sandro talaga ang nag-tweet nun.”

Those people handling Bongbong Marcos’s social media accounts should be careful in selecting quotes to post. I mean, a Marcos lecturing Filipinos about truth and deceit??!? How ironic is that?

1normandie
Retiring
Controversial Court of Appeals Justice Normandie Pizzaro is reportedly retiring next month, exactly a year AHEAD of his mandatory retirement. Who is Normandie Pizzaro? He recently penned the CA’s decision acquitting former Palawan Governor Joel Reyes of murder. He also penned the ruling that acquitted Janet Napoles last year as well as the decision junking a Hawaii court’s order to award damages to Martial Law victims. Suddenly, Pizzaro is retiring. Well, he can now afford.

Normandie Pizzaro is retiring as Court of Appeals justice. He penned the ruling which exonerated Joel Reyes and Janet Napoles as well as the decision junking a Hawaii court’s order to compensate Martial Law victims. With these ‘qualifications,’ he could be the next Duterte appointee.

Improving
After meeting with the officials of the Communist Party of China, President Duterte said the bond between the Philippines and China is getting stronger everyday. In fact, it’s now as strong as those illegal Chinese structures in the West Philippine Sea.”

Firing
President Duterte announced he would sack some 70 policemen who are being accused of corruption. Duterte reiterated he wouldn’t tolerate ‘kotong’ cops – unless those cops have killed a certain number of drug suspects.

According to palace spokesperson Harry Roque, “Asahan ninyo po na wala pong sinasanto ang Presidente, wala po iyang kaibigan, walang kaklase, walang kabarilan. Basta ikaw ay palpak, ikaw ay sibak.” To which, Malacañang reporters replied, “Charot!”

1roque
Duterte’s spokesman Harry Roque said, “Asahan ninyo po na wala pong sinasanto ang Presidente.“ When he heard this, Ferdinand Marcos said, “Iba ang sinabi niya sa akin.”

Harry Roque told the press, “Wala pong sinasanto ang Presidente… basta ikaw ay palpak, ikaw ay sibak.” And Martin Andanar was like, “O, ba’t nakatingin kayong lahat sa akin?”

Leveling
Researchers released a study saying President Trump speaks at a fourth-grade level. The researchers then released a statement apologizing to fourth graders.

A new analysis revealed US President Donald Trump has limited vocabulary and speaks like a fourth grader. In comparison, Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte was just a first grader when he learned to speak words like ‘yawa,’ ‘pisti,’ “iyot,’ and ‘pastilan!’ No match.

Surfing
According to Pornhub, Filipinos spent the longest time per visit on the porn site in 2017. Filipinos spent 13 minutes and 28 seconds on the average per day. That’s a lot of f____g. But still, that’s nothing compared to Filipinos who get to watch one another get screwed by government leaders 24/7.
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“Elections, for their part, are typically popularity contests rather than measures of candidates’ relative competency or effectiveness.”
~Nathan Paul Myhrvold

1Trump
Sound Bites
“Why are we having all these people from shithole countries come here?”
~Douchebag Donald Trump describing some developing countries like El Salvador, Nicaragua, Haiti, and African nations on the issue of immigration

Racist.

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: Philippine Senate; Pizzaro: CA Judiciary.gov; Napoles: Inquirer.net; Harry Roque: Inquirer.net; CBS News]








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