SONA 2019 FAST FACTS: CHANGE HAS COME

The live telecast of the address will have Mandarin subtitles.

Twitter and Instagram: @hecklerforever8

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LIST OF CHINESE SEA CREATURES

Beijing has declared these sea creatures as “Chinese.”

“It’s very difficult to say that there is exclusivity when it’s under water. The fish could be coming from China and the fish from the Philippines could be going to China.”

~Senate President Tito Sotto on whether the resources in the Philippine exclusive economic zone are exclusive to Filipinos

IN RESPONSE, Beijing has released its “official” list of “Chinese” sea creatures.

Here’s the full list:

1. Bisu Go

2. Ma Ya Ma Ya

3. Kandu Li

4. Alu Ma Han

5. Tu Na

6. Ta Hong

7. Ali Ma Ngo

8. Pa Ting

9. Tu Li Ngan

10. Bi Ya

11. Hi To

12. Sug Po

13. Tul Ya

14. Ayu Ngin

15. Ki Tang

16. Bu Tan Ding

17. Du Gong

18. Ga Lung Gong

China has also declared the following as Chinese: Ba Go Ong, Da ing, and Tu Yo.

For the information of Filipinos.

RESPECT, GMRC, THE LATE DUTERTE AND OTHER STORIES

Lani Mercado preaches respect and GMRC on Twitter. President Duterte arrives two hours late at the PMA graduation. Jimmy Bondoc vs. ABS-CBN, and more!


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“Respect commands itself and it can neither be given nor withheld when it is due.”
~Eldridge Cleaver

I am on Twitter and Instagram.

BUDOTS NATION (Stories from an election)

Duterte has won the midterm elections. It was an almost sweep for the administration-backed Hugpong ng Pagbabago candidates for senator.


BASED ON the latest partial and unofficial count, almost all of Duterte’s Hugpong ng Pagbabago candidates for senator emerged as winners in the midterm polls. Victory parties have been scheduled in Malacañang, Davao City, and Beijing.

According to the latest tally, re-electionist senator Cynthia Villar has grabbed the top spot. Among other things.

Bong Revilla, who is still facing 16 counts of graft, is currently in 10th place with more than 14 million votes. Confident of a victory, Revilla has sent ‘Thank you’ notes to his supporters, volunteers, and choreographer.

The Budots-dancing actor, who was once charged with plunder, received most of his votes from Pangasinan, Cavite, Cebu, Bulacan and Laguna. At least we now know where to channel our funds for education and mental health.

Bong Revilla’s best friend, and fellow plunder inmate, Jinggoy Estrada has yet to enter the Top 12. Looks like Jinggoy won’t be able to serve a fresh Senate term. Which is ok, because, soon, he’ll probably be serving a longer prison term.

Actor Lito Lapid, who has a pending graft case in connection with the fertilizer fund scam, is also in the Top 12. In preparation for his return to the Senate, Lapid has purchased a brand-new neck pillow.

Also in the winning circle is Duterte aide, Bong Go who is getting ready for his new job as Senate’s chief photographer.

Currently in fifth place is former police chief Bato de la Rosa who is now doing some research to prepare for his new post. For example, he has been asking incumbent senators if, during Senate hearings, committee members are allowed to cry.

If the trend won’t change, we will soon have Lito Lapid, Bong Go, Bong Revilla, Bato de la Rosa and of course, Manny Pacquiao in the Senate. Which begs the question, out of 105 million Filipinos, sila pa talaga?!

Former GMA 7 News reporter Jiggy Manicad has conceded defeat. In a statement, Jiggy said, “Ngayon, ang will ng Panginoon ay hindi pa muna. Siguro, may iba pa siyang assignment.” To which, God replied, “Yes, PTV 4. Thx.”

Juan Ponce Enrile, 95, also failed in his bid for a Senate seat. Congratulations, taxpayers!

As of 9pm, Tuesday. JV Ejercito is still in 13th place while his estranged brother Jinggoy, is in 15th place. When he learned about Jinggoy’s ranking, JV said, “I still feel like a winner.”

On election day, a sample ballot distributed by Sara Duterte’s Hugpong ng Pagbabago party showed (that) Koko Pimentel was dropped from Hugpong’s list of 12 senatorial candidates. In the latest tally, Koko has dropped to 11th place with a very slim lead over current 12th placer, Nancy Binay. Allies have started sending congratulatory messages to Inday Sara.

It’s Zero-Diretso for the decent, intelligent, and hardworking candidates of Otso Diretso in the senatorial race. If ever they’ll run again in future elections, they should learn more about the electorate, campaign strategies, and the ‘Budots’ dance steps.

Local Elections
Reelectionist Manila Mayor Joseph Estrada lost to Isko Moreno. Estrada is now looking for a new city where he can relocate before the 2022 elections.

During the campaign, Estrada said this would be his last election. Manila voters responded, “We’ll make sure of that.”

The Ejercitos/Estradas were clobbered in the midterm elections. They lost the city of San Juan to the Zamoras. Erap’s daughter, Jerika failed in her bid for councilor in Manila. Gary Estrada has conceded the vice mayoral post in Cainta. And ER Ejercito lost badly in the gubernatorial race in Laguna. At this moment, ER is still trying to figure out a way to blame his loss on Noynoy Aquino.

In yet another shocker, former vice president Jejomar Binay lost to former acting Mayor Kid Peña in the congressional race in Makati City’s first district. Reelected Mayor Abby Binay-Campos and estranged brother, Junjun have reportedly agreed to attend the wake of their dad’s political career – together.

Neophyte politician, Vico Sotto has ended the decades-old reign of the Eusebio clan in Pasig City. The 29-year-old Vico, son of Vic Sotto and Coney Reyes, won the mayoral contest against reelectionist Bobby Eusebio. The things we like most about Vico? He is young, transparent, and thinks differently than his uncle, Tito.
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“Tragedy should be utilized as a source of strength. No matter what sort of difficulties, how painful experience is, if we lose our hope, that’s our real disaster.”
~Dalai Lama XIV

Personal
To Otso Diretso and Team Pilipinas, thank you for your dedication and courage in fighting a decent fight. You’ve just started. Please stay with us.

For daily musings on society and politics, you may follow me on Twitter and Instagram: @hecklerforever8.

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Photo: TVC Screengrab

DARNA AT PULITIKA

Ano ang mangyayari kapag gumanap na ‘Darna’ sina President Duterte, Kris Aquino, Ben Tulfo, Imee Marcos at iba pang personalidad?

WHAT HAPPENS when political figures and other controversial personalities play the role of Pinoy superhero, Darna? Let’s find out.

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“When a stupid government is elected in a democratic country, the best thing about this is that you learn the number of stupid people in that country.”

~Mehmet Murat ildan

•Twitter/Instagram: @hecklerforever8

KMJS INVESTIGATES: ANG DIUMANO’Y MALAKING ARI NI DUTERTE

Dinayo ng aming team ang Davao City upang alamin ang katotohanan hinggil sa diumano’y malaking ari ng Pangulo.

PRESIDENT DUTERTE, in a recent public speech, said a man’s good looks were nothing if he’s got a small penis. He then bragged about his “huge” tool claiming its head almost reached his bellybutton. (You wish!). Read more about his graphic penis anecdotes here.

To verify the President’s claim, the country’s most-watched TV program, KMJS decided to investigate. Here’s what happened. (Note: Pretend that you’re the host while reading.)

XI JINPING TO DUTERTE: DEFEND ME NAMAN!

Xi Jinping: O, kinasuhan ako nina Del Rosario at Carpio Morales. Wala ka bang gagawin?

Former Foreign Affairs secretary Albert Del Rosario, former Ombudsman Conchita Carpio Morales, and a group of fishermen filed a complaint against Chinese President Xi Jinping before the International Criminal Court for crimes against humanity over environmental damage in the South China Sea.

When the news reached Xi Jinping, he immediately contacted Rodrigo Duterte.

Last Tuesday, March 19, the Philippine Drug Enforcement Agency (PDEA) seized 1.1 billion pesos worth of shabu in separate operations inside the posh Ayala Alabang Village and the upscale Alabang Town Center in Muntinlupa City. Chinese drug suspects were nabbed during the operations. PDEA officials reported the matter to their boss in Malacañang. Here’s what happened.

Interviewed by the media during a political rally in Cebu, Sara Duterte denied she’s eyeing the presidency in 2022.

I’m on Twitter: @HecklerForever8

DARK, DEPRESSING

Rodrigo Duterte and Imee Marcos walk into a bar. Find out what happens.


“Huwag n’yo na akong takutin. Gusto ko na ring mamatay kasi pagod na ako pero gusto kong mapunta sa impyerno.”
–Rodrigo Duterte

I am on Twitter & Instagram: @HecklerForever8

PRAY FOR DUTERTE

On the third day, Duterte rose again.

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I’m on Twitter: @hecklerforever8

THE 2018 MMFF: A REVIEW?

Forget about Woody Allen or Judd Apatow. This is cinema at its most ambitious.

DID you see this year’s Metro Manila Film Festival entries or did you skip the entire festival? Here’s a “review” of the eight movies.

OTLUM
Starring: Ricci Rivero and Jerome Ponce
Medyo underwhelming ang trailer pero malaking kawalan kung ‘di mo ito mapapanood. Sa opening sequence pa lang ay mapapasigaw ka na: Otlum! Obkat! May otlum! Swabe ang effects. May point sa movie na mapapaisip ka: Guillermo Del Toro ba ang gumawa nito? Unbelievable. Kakaiba rin ang twist ng kwento. Bago umabot sa kalahati ang pelikula, kakampi mo na ang multo. Ganun ka-powerful ang atake sa character ng otlum. Petmalu!

AURORA
Starring: Anne Curtis
Superb ang acting ng buong cast lalo na ‘yung mga gumanap na taumbayan. Nabigyang justice ng bida ang role niya bilang Aurora. Kahit hindi magsalita, ramdam mo ang paghihinagpis nito matapos malugi ang kanyang lugawan. Mabagal ang development ng story pero hindi mo ito mararamdaman dahil makakatulog ka. Medyo tragic ang ending ngunit dahil mahusay ang pagkakadirek, lalabas kang nakangiti sa sinehan.

THE GIRL IN THE ORANGE DRESS
Starring: Jessy Mendiola and Jericho Rosales
Wow! Just wow. Nang unang lumabas sa screen ang orange dress, everyone was floored. Sa history ng Philippine cinema, ngayon lang gumamit ng gano’ng kagandang dress. At ang mas lalong nakakahanga – kulay orange! The film’s costume designer deserves an Oscar nod. Hindi rin pwedeng i-ignore ang girl. Iba ang chemistry nila ng dress. May flaws sa storytelling pero kung titingnan mo ang detalye ng orange dress, balewala na ang mga butas na iyon sa kuwento. This movie dressed to impress.

ONE GREAT LOVE
Starring: Kim Chiu, JC De Vera and Dennis Trillo
Kung ang hanap mo ay kilig, ito ang perfect movie para sa ‘yo. Medyo complicated nga lang ang plot: si Kim Chiu ay girlfriend ni JC. Si Dennis naman ay magbabalut sa kanilang barangay. Mai-inlove sa balut si Kim. Pero si JC, may lihim palang pagtingin kay Dennis. Unfortunately, si Dennis naman ay matagal nang may kinakasamang itik. (Deserved niya ang best actor award.) It’s a tale of difficult choices and regretful decisions. Sino kaya ang makahahanap ng one great love – ang tao o ang itik?

JACK EM POPOY: THE PULISCREDIBLES
Starring: Vic Sotto, Coco Martin, Maine Mendoza
WHAT. A. MASTERPIECE. Napaka-original ng story. The screenplay was outstanding. Bagong lahat ang punchlines. Forget about Woody Allen or Judd Apatow. This is cinema at its most ambitious. In fact, may isang eksena kung saan kausap ni Jack si Popoy. Galit na galit si Popoy pero nang mag-joke si Jack, napanganga ang viewers. Isang critic pa nga ang napasigaw, “That’s puliscredibles! Ang galing!”

MARY, MARRY ME
Starring: Toni Gonzaga and Alex Gonzaga
Pwedeng tumayo ang pelikula kahit sila lang ang cast members gamit ang isang camera sa kusina ng kanilang bahay. Gano’n sila kahusay sa movie na ito. The marriage proposal scene was uber-hilarious at isa ito sa highlights ng movie. Spoiler Alert: Naghuhugas ng plato si Mary nang biglang pumasok sa kusina ang kanyang boyfriend na may dalang isang kilong kiat-kiat, sabay tanong, “Mary, will you marry me?” Sa gulat, nabitawan ni Mary ang hawak na tasa pero hindi ito nabasag dahil sa basahan ito bumagsak. GRABE LANG. I mean, how on Earth they did pull off that magical scene? Props to the director and to the Gonzaga sisters who were both phenomenal in the movie.

FANTASTICA
Starring: Vice Ganda and the entire showbiz industry
Diz wuz robbed! Big time! Malaking kuwestyon pa rin kung bakit wala itong nakuhang award ni isa. Napakaganda ng pagkakalatag sa kwento. Bawat eksena, fantastic. ‘Yung editing, production design at sound mixing also fantastic. Even the lead star, known for his method acting, is now drawing comparison to Daniel Day Lewis. Exceptional ang cinematography lalo na sa closing credits. ‘Yung ginamit na scoring, pinag-isipan kaya lumabas na fantastic. Overall, fantastic siya.

RAINBOW’S SUNSET
Starring: Gloria Romero, Tony Mabesa and Eddie Garcia
(No review available. The movie was pulled from theaters after the opening day.)

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I’ve been busy the past few weeks and will be busier in the coming days. I won’t be able to update this blog regularly. But I’ll be active as ever on Twitter.

Thank you everyone who dropped by my blog this year. See you all in 2019.

Happy New Year!