LEAKED: SONA 2014 [EXCLUSIVE!]

A PURPORTED DRAFT of President Aquino’s fifth State of the Nation Address was sent to this blogger. Here are [unedited] excerpts of the speech.

1INC

State of the Nation Address
of
His Excellency Benigno S. Aquino III
President of the Philippines
To the Congress of the Philippines

[To be delivered at the Session Hall of the House of Representatives, Batasang Pambansa Complex, Quezon City, on July 28, 2014]

“Naniniwala po ako sa kasabihang, ‘Ang pagsasabi ng tapat ay pagsasama ng maluwat.’ Kaya’t bago po ako magsimula, magtapatan na po tayo. Lahat ng may yellow ribbon sa kanilang suot, pumuwesto po kayo sa gawing kanan. ‘Yon naman pong wala, sa gawing kaliwa. Maraming salamat po.”

“Malinaw pong SONA ang matutunghayan n’yo ngayong hapon. Wala kaming in-advertise na laro o exhibition. Kung hindi n’yo po magugustuhan ang inyong maririnig, huwag umasa ng refund. Batasan po ang inyong pinuntahan, hindi Araneta Coliseum.” [Applause]

“Ito po ang aking ikalimang SONA, isa na lamang ang natitira. Sa mga taong hindi makahintay sa pagtatapos ng aking termino, relax lang po kayo. Huwag masyadong atat na makapuwesto. Sana’y nanonood ka pareng Toby Tiangco.”

“Ramdam na ramdam na po natin ang paglago ng ating ekonomiya. Pampubliko o pribadong sektor man, kitang-kita ang kaunlaran. Sa Makati City nga po, parking building pa lang, 1.56 billion pesos na ang halaga. [Applause] At sinong hindi mapapanganga sa bagong Philippine Arena? Pang-Guinness talaga! [Applause]

“Hindi po kaila sa inyo na matibay ang aking paninindigan sa DAP at ipagtatanggol ko ito hanggang sa abot ng aking makakaya. Dahil d’yan, effective last Friday, ako na po ang concurrent Secretary of Defense.” [Applause]

“Uulitin ko po. Mabuti ang DAP at maraming natulungan ang programang ito. Sa katunayan, kahit ho ‘yong pinakamatitindi kong kritiko, nakinabang dito. Tanungin n’yo pa si Bayan Muna Representative Neri Colmenares.” [Applause]

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“Nang ako po ay iluklok ng aking mga “boss” sa Malacañang, nangako po tayong lalabanan natin ang katiwalian sa pamahalaan. Tinupad po natin ang pangakong ‘yan. Sa sandaling ito, mangyari po lamang na ituon ang inyong atensyon sa LED wall sa gawing kanan. Sa unang pagkakataon sa kasaysayan ng SONA sa Pilipinas, magkakaroon po tayo ng live feed mula sa PNP Custodial Center, PNP General Hospital at Fort Sto. Domingo.” [Applause]

“Unahin natin ang PNP Custodial Center. Senador Bong at Senador Jinggoy, alam kong naririnig n’yo ako. Pumasok kayo sa confession room.”

BONG: Hello po Kuya. Mabuti naman po at napadalaw kayo.
JINGGOY: May ipapagawa ka bang challenge sa amin Kuya?

“Bong, Jinggoy… ikinalulungkot kong sabihing hindi n’yo nagawa ang pinaka-importanteng challenge bilang mga halal na opisyal: ang magpaka-honest. Dahil d’yan, awtomatiko kayong nominated for conviction sa susunod na trial. Sanga pala, hindi ako si Kuya. Ako si Noynoy at live kayong napapanood sa Kongreso ngayon.” [Canned laughter/Applause]

“Ngayon naman ay makikita n’yo ang live feed mula sa PNP General Hospital. Kung inyong mapapansin, parang natutulog lang si Senator Enrile. Huwag na nating gambalain ang matanda; respeto na lang. Ipasok naman natin ang live feed mula sa Fort Sto. Domingo. Hayan… makikita natin sa screen ang isang lalaki at isang babaeng magkapatong. TURN THAT OFF! ANONG KAHALAYAN ‘YAN?! [Collective gasp] Pasensya na po mga boss. Ngayon nga pala ang scheduled visit ni Mr. Jaime Napoles kay Mrs. Janet Lim-Napoles. Sorry po!”

1IM
“Moving on… may mga nagtatanong nga po lagi sa akin: Paano na sa 2016? Paano ‘pag wala ka na? Tapos na rin ba ang tuwid na daan? Babalik na ba ang KADILIMAN? Hindi ko po sasagutin ‘yan. Ayaw ko pong maakusahang racist ni Manong Jojo Binay.”

“Katulad ng aking sinabi sa inauguration ng Philippine Arena noong nakaraang linggo… pairalin natin ang pagmamahalan sa halip na pagsisiraan na nauuwi sa pagkakawatak-watak. Kung nais n’yo pong ‘mapalapit’ sa kapwa Pilipino, mag-MRT kayo.” [Applause]

“Napakahalaga po sa akin ng kalusugan ng mamamayang Pilipino. ‘Yan po ang dahilan kung bakit naglaan tayo ng 70 million pesos mula sa DAP para sa stem cell research program ng Lung Center of the Philippines. Priorities!” [Applause]

“Mataas po ang tingin ko sa mga empleyado ng pamahalaan. Malaki ang papel na ginagampanan nila sa paglago ng ating ekonomiya. Kung hindi ko man maibigay ang dagdag-suweldong hinihingi nila, babawi na lang ako sa pagbibigay sa kanila ng sapat na pahinga. Kaya ngayong 2015, halos dalawampu ang non-working holidays!” [Applause]

“Likas ang pagiging masipag ng mga Pilipino. Multi-tasker nga raw ang mga Pinoy. Isa sa mga buhay na patotoo ang kasamahan natin sa Kongreso: lawmaker, boxer, preacher, singer, actor, TV host, at ngayon ay basketball coach. Ikaw na talaga Cong. Manny Pacquiao!” [Applause]

“Sa mga pribadong tanggapan naman, hindi rin maikakaila ang sipag ng mga empleyado. Maging mga broadcasters, rumaraket na rin sa tanggapan ng gobyerno. Isumbong Mo Kay… joke lang. Ayaw kong ma-libelo!” [Canned laughter]

“Nitong nakaraang linggo, nilagdaan ko ang R.A. 10643 o “An Act to Effectively Instill Health Consciousness through Graphic Health Warnings on Tobacco Products.” Whatever!

1INC
“Kitang-kita rin natin ang progreso sa larangan ng enerhiya. Kung sa termino ng aking namayapang ina ay walong oras ang brownout, ngayon ay tatlong oras na lamang. Palakpakan po natin si Secretary Ikot Petilla.” [Applause]

“Iwaksi po natin ang negatibo at mag-focus sa positibo. The glass is half-full not half-empty. Wala mang power supply, bababa naman ang bayad sa kuryente. Now na!” [Applause]

“Noong nakalipas na taon, pinuri tayo ng international community dahil sa nilagdaang kasunduan with the MILF na naglalayong makamit ang kapayapaan sa Mindanao. Sa mga susunod pong araw, kapayapaan pa rin ang aking tututukan: ang pakikipag-ayos sa Kataas-taasang Hukuman. I’ll try.” [Applause]

“Naging aktibo rin tayo sa kampanya laban sa pambu-bully ng Beijing sa mga teritoryong sakop ng Pilipinas. Pinatunayan natin sa China na hinding-hindi tayo susuko hanggang sa kahuli-hulihang segundo ng laban. Ang husay mo Paul Lee! Mabuhay ang Gilas Pilipinas! Puso!” [Applause]

“Ayon po sa survey ng SWS at Pulse Asia, mababa na raw ang aking mga grado. Hindi po ako nababahala. Mas mababa pa d’yan ang mga grado ko noon sa Ateneo.” [Applause]

“Sa ilalim din ng aking panunungkulan, idineklara ng Korte Suprema ang pork barrel o PDAF as illegal.” [Silence]

“Inuulit ko, idineklara ng Korte Suprema ang pork barrel as illegal. Ang hindi papalakpak, guilty.” [Applause]

1INC
“Kahapon, July 27, isinilang na ang pang-isandaang milyong Pilipino. Tama po ang narinig n’yo: umabot na sa 100 million ang mga Filipino. Sa mga pari at mga obispo, sana happy kayo!”

“Matagumpay po ang PNP sa paglaban nito sa kriminalidad at mga salot ng lipunan. Sa katunayan, kung dati ay naka-kotse ang mga kriminal, ngayon… naka-motorsiklo na lamang.” [Applause]

“Ipinagpatuloy din natin ang malawakang kampanya laban sa ipinagbabawal na droga. Sa mga kabataang nanonood ngayon, nais kong ipaalala sa inyo: walang buting maidudulot ang bawal na gamot! Itakwil n’yo ang droga kung gusto n’yong makatapos ng pag-aaral, makahanap ng trabaho, o maging National Artist in the future.” [Applause]

“Sa loob ng apat na taon kong panunungkulan, tunay ngang malaki na ang ipinagbago ng asal ng mga Pilipino. Iba na ang level of maturity nila ‘ika nga. Hindi na po ako lalayo. ‘Yong kapatid kong si Kris, kapag nakikipag-break dati sa lalaki, umiiyak ‘yan sa harap ng TV. Ngayon, wala nang luha, wala nang galit, wala nang pagbabanta. Mali si Ms Nora Aunor! May himala!” [Applause]

“Sa aking inaugural address, atin pong ipinangako: walang kurapsyon, walang manlalamang, walang wangwang. At dahil nakatutok ako sa paglilingkod sa inyo… walang love life! Maraming salamat po!” [Applause]
———————————————————————–
“Some things you don’t have to promise. You just do.”
~Rick Yancey, The 5th Wave

Sound Bites
“Sa lahat ng mga gumising sa nagtutulug-tulugan, sa mga nagmulat sa mga nagbubulag-bulagan, sa mga kumalampag sa mga nagbibingi-bingihan: SONA po ninyo ito.”
~President Aquino, SONA 2013

Have a safe weekend everyone!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: Rappler, Gov.Ph,Philippine Daily Inquirer, Sen. Bam Aquino, Sovereign Independent Co.UK]

PORK BARREL AND LIGHT BULBS

Light Bulb Jokes 2013

Q: How many Jeane ‘Bebe Gerr’ Napoleses does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. One to change it, one to take a photo, and one to post it online.

Q: How many Benhur Luys does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one but he’ll replace it with a fake bulb.

Q: How many Janet Lim-Napoleses does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Nobody knows. She refuses to talk.

Q: How many Jinggoy Estradas does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it and one to criticize the residents of the house.

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Q: How many Lorna Kapunans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: How many can you afford?

Q: How many Butch Abads does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Zero. He’ll just give “incentives” to those who will.

Q: How many Frank Drilons does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one. But he’ll ask a bigger budget for this assignment.

Q: How many Juan Ponce Enriles does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it and one to blame his ex-Chief of Staff for the burnt bulb.

Q: How many Gigi Reyeses does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one but with the help of Enrile.

Q: How many senators does it take to change a light bulb?
A: For how much?

Q: How many Mar Roxases does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change, and one to announce it in a press con.

Q: How many Bong Revillas does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. He’d rather hire an expert to verify if the bulb is real.

Q: How many Mark Joseph Tajo Solises and Tito Sottos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. He’d rather hire an expert to verify if the bulb is real.

Q: How many Boyet Gonzaleses does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it and one to applaud the work done and say, “AMAZING! [Aloha!]”

Q: How many ER Ejercitos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one but the replacement bulb will be costly and ‘over budget.’

Q: How many Nur Misuaris does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. He’ll have his men do it instead.

A: Announcement: It has been changed.
Q: How many Jejomar Binays does it take to change a light bulb?

Q: How many Manny Pacquiaos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: “Tiwala ka lang kay Lord… there will be light.”
————————————————————————–
“The test of our progress is not whether we add more to the abundance of those who have much; it is whether we provide enough for those who have too little.”
~Franklin D. Roosevelt

Sound Bites
“Di lang matanggap ng aking kalaban na lamang ako sa kanya ng 78,000, at mas guwapo ako sa kanya.”
~Laguna Governor ER Ejercito who was disqualified by the Comelec for overspending in the last elections

Merry Christmas!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

THY WILL BE DONE


TWELVE DAYS BEFORE Christmas, the House of Representatives impeached Chief Justice Renato Corona. Congratulations President Aquino! ‘Gusto ko happy ka!’

Malacañang categorically denied that President Aquino was behind the impeachment of the Chief Justice… mainly because he was at the forefront of the initiative.

Palace spokespersons denied President Aquino had a hand in the impeachment of Corona. He had his ‘whole body’ working on it.

A total of 188 congressmen voted to impeach Chief Justice Renato Corona. Within just minutes, allies of President Aquino have mustered more than enough votes for the ouster move. It was a walk in the pork.

The House of Representatives was able to transmit the articles of impeachment to the Senate in less than five hours. And Judge Jesus Mupas was like, “Gaya-gaya!”

House Justice Committee Chair and Iloilo Rep. Niel Tupas says, “The Chief Justice used public funds for his own personal purposes.” Again, a classic case of “Hello kettle. I am pot. You’re so black.”

Meanwhile, House Minority Leader Edcel Lagman said the impeachment complaint was the “mother of all blackmails.” Hey, you sponsored the same practice before. Why rant against it now?

Senate President Juan Ponce Enrile says senators will vote on the impeachment case based on evidence presented. Spell cliché.

The House of Representatives voted to impeach Chief Justice Renato Corona. From the Lower House, the complaint was transmitted to the Senate. David Stern tried to block the move but failed.

In 2012, we’ll probably witness the trials of former President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo and Chief Justice Renato Corona. What an exciting way to spend our last year on Earth.

Just Saying. If the proposed Freedom of Information Act, and the 13-year-old Reproductive Health Bill were “Renato Corona,” both would have been approved a long time ago. Kung ayaw, may dahilan. Kung may pork, maraming paraan.

Merry Christmas!

Quotes of the Day
“Malacañang is not privy to the discussions of the Liberal Party in the House.”
~Deputy Presidential Spokesperson Abigail Valte

“President Aquino gave the general direction, we followed because we believe this is the right thing.”
~ Cavite Representative Joseph Emilio A. Abaya, a Liberal Party stalwart

“This is very important, grave and historic.”
~House Speaker Feliciano Belmonte
———————————————————–
“The genius of impeachment lay in the fact that it could punish the man without punishing the office.”
~ Arthur Schlesinger, Jr.

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I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

LAWBREAKERS


YOU HEARD President Noynoy Aquino’s inaugural speech, right? He wanted the new government to lead by example; precisely the reason why he encouraged people in power to shun the wangwang. He wanted them to strictly follow traffic rules and regulations: No one should offer and accept tong or ‘lagay.’ No one should counterflow. And to prevent accidents, no one should beat the red light. Unless of course, you’re the vice president.


Caught on Tape
Last Monday, Vice President Jejomar Binay’s convoy was caught by a GMA 7 television crew beating the red light and ignoring a “no left turn” sign at about 11:30 a.m. along Araneta Avenue in Quezon City. Binay has reportedly reprimanded the “concerned personnel” – for their failure to monitor the presence of the TV crew.

As GMA News reported, Vice President Jejomar Binay’s convoy didn’t just beat the red light but actually ignored a “no left turn” sign along Araneta Avenue last Monday. According to Binay, he was in a hurry for a meeting that day, he totally forgot that he was not in Makati.

Binay’s Request
Vice President Jejomar Binay wants to have his own official office and residence like the president. Asked why, Binay said, “Alangan namang mag-uwian ako sa bahay namin for the next 24 years. Heller!?!”

Cito’s Back
Former Agriculture Secretary Luis ‘Cito’ Lorenzo Jr. is back! He told ABS-CBN’s Lynda Jumilla he’s now willing to testify in the P728-million fertilizer scam probe. In fact, President Noynoy Aquino himself said that Lorenzo could serve as a state witness. Why not? He knows a lot about the issue; he seems to be the least guilty, and his brother donated P20 million to Noynoy’s presidential campaign.

http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:Q_FC5DuANQwOmM:http://blogs.bet.com/entertainment/spotlight/bet-blog/assets/2009/12/tiger-woods.jpg In Sports…
At a news conference held after the recently concluded J.P. McManus Invitational Pro-Am in Ireland, Tiger Woods turned curt and dismissive, and declined to answer questions about his private life. Woods also expressed his thoughts on what he described was a ‘double standard.’ Baffled members of the media asked, what do you mean ‘double standard?’ Woods answered, “In the US, you cheat on your wife, you get crucified. In the Philippines, you cheat on the golf course, you get the Bureau of Customs.”

Alvarez Is In
The new commissioner of the Bureau of Customs – Air21 president and former SGV senior auditor Angelito ‘Lito’ Alvarez is in the news these days. According to Inquirer and dzRH sources, the posh Alabang Golf and Country Club imposed a six-month suspension on Alvarez for cheating during a golf tournament in February. But Malacañang’s search committee believes Alvarez is the best guy to take on the bad eggs at the Bureau of Customs. You know, galit ang mandaraya sa kapwa mandaraya.


The Late Mrs. Arroyo
Congresswoman Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo arrived three hours late in today’s orientation of neophyte congressmen at the House of Representatives. Mrs. Arroyo got up late because she wasn’t able to sleep well last night: she had a terrible headache, had an upset stomach, and saw Cito Lorenzo in the news.

Belmonte and Pork Barrel
Liberal Party’s bet for House Speaker, Quezon City Rep. Feliciano Belmonte is against the proposal of some of his party mates to slash pork barrel allocations to P40 million from P70 million per congressmen. Incoming House Minority Leader Edcel Lagman described the proposed cut as “flawed, cosmetic, and counterproductive” while Quezon Rep. Danilo Suarez said it’s “discriminatory.” In short, “anti-congressman.” Punyeta kayong lahat!


Red Mass
President Noynoy Aquino arrived late in yesterday’s Red Mass at the Manila Cathedral. In contrast, Vice President Jejomar Binay arrived so much ahead of everyone… which was not surprising considering how good his driver was in beating the red light.
———————————-
“An honest confession is good for the soul, but bad for the reputation.”
~Thomas Dewar

The Who
In the NBA, there’s John Amaechi. In the PBA, well, there’s the already-retired Apricot Banana Watermelon who was outed by his ex-wife. Both were professional cagers. Now, what if the head coach is homosexual? Would it be a big deal? Definitely not for the players of this collegiate team that is being mentored by a gay coach. As one team member asserted, “As long as he does not spend time with us in the locker room, walang problema.” Who’s the gay coach? Think John Donne and Ma. Isabel Lopez. Marami rin n’yan sa Pangasinan! And the college team? ‘Wag na. Basta ‘pag nahulaan mo, ituturing kitang isang bayani at tatanggap ka pa ng maagang Christmas gift!

Survey Says
Your take on Mae “Juana Change” Paner’s recent rants:
Nasa katwiran siya! Kaisa mo kami! 37%
Sus! Tama si Lacierda, inggit lang siya! 16%
Wala akong alam sa isyu! 47%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

Elsewhere
Manila Standard Today: The country’s richest

Overseas: CNN fires news anchor because of a Twitter post

HOLY FLU!


Swine Flu Virus
The biggest news of the week? The human swine flu virus. And Filipinos are getting worried. In fact, they’ve never been this worried since Mar Roxas announced on “Wowowee” that Korina Sanchez is the country’s next First Lady.

Swine Flu Virus II
The human swine influenza virus has already killed hundreds and infected thousands worldwide. The spread of the virus is alarming. To give you an idea how alarming it has become, for the first time in history, Jose De Venecia and his fellow congressmen are avoiding pork.

Swine Flu Virus III
The World Health Organization has raised the alert level on the human swine flu virus to Phase 4, meaning there is sustained human-to-human transmission of the virus. But senators, congressmen, and other corrupt politicians have nothing to worry about because there has yet to be a documented case of human-to-crocodile transmission.

Solons to Vegas
Reports say a large number of congressmen led by House Speaker Prospero Nograles are flying off to Las Vegas to watch the Manny Pacquiao-Ricky Hatton bout on Sunday. Fact is, if they wanted to debate on Charter Change they can freely do since their number in Vegas constitutes a quorum.

Pacquiao on TIME
Final results of a TIME Magazine survey showed that Manny Pacquiao was voted the 22nd “most influential” person in the world. When Sen. Lito Lapid heard this he said, “Influential? Naku, dapat magpa-check up na siya. Baka dahil sa swine virus ‘yan!”

Quintuplets
Did you hear about the 27-year-old housewife who gave birth last Sunday to a set of quintuplets? Yesterday, Mar Roxas and Korina Sanchez (as shown on ABS-CBN newscasts) visited the woman and her babies. Roxas and Sanchez became emotional when they saw the babies… mainly because they never expected to see such an adorable bunch of election paraphernalia.

Korina On Leave
ABS-CBN announced that Korina Sanchez is taking a leave of absence from her radio program starting May 9. Ted Failon is wondrin’ why women close to his heart are leaving him.

peta_bikini No to Zoos
Barely-clad female members of the People for Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) staged a protest action at the Manila Zoo to urge the management to release the animals to their natural habitat. Tomorrow, they will picket the House of Representatives to call for the release of some 270 crocodiles in captivity.

No to Zoos II
Four bikini-clad women from the People for Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) picketed the Manila Zoo on Tuesday to urge the public to boycott zoos. Sen. Jamby Madrigal says she would support PETA’s call… only if the women would stage similar protests in five more zoos.

juday-ryan Juday and Ryan Wedding
Judy Ann Santos and Ryan Agoncillo have tied the knot in a very private ceremony in San Juan, Batangas Tuesday morning. Thank goodness they were not running in 2010! Otherwise, the wedding would have been held at the “Wowowee” studios.

Earth Day: A Postscript
A week ago, the world celebrated Earth Day. In observance of the significant event, environmental groups planted seedlings; local governments cleaned up rivers, and Vicki Belo recycled her face.

Elsewhere…

My favorite gossip columnist, Vic Agustin of the Manila Standard Today has written an intriguing article. Do you know Leo Magno?

Newsbreak magazine has an update on the jueteng operation in Ilocos Norte.

And for fellow fanatics of our Kobe Bryant and the Los Angeles Lakers, you can check out this blog for pre-and post-game analyses.

Personal
The Professional Heckler is on Twitter. Search for either: Professional Heckler or heckler8. See you there. (Of late though, people couldn’t find me there. I tried using the “Find People” button but i myself g0t zero results. Dunno why. Sigh.)
_________
“Every human being is the author of his own health or disease.”
~Buddha

JUST GOT LUCKY


Lotto Draw
Tonight, a lucky super lotto bettor could win as much as 330 million pesos, the biggest lottery prize in Philippine history. And in case you’re wondering how it feels like to win such ginormous amount, just imagine a congressman winning three consecutive House terms.

Lotto Draw II
The biggest lottery prize in Philippine history is up for grabs tonight: a super lotto bettor could win as much as 330 million pesos! And in case you’re wondering how it feels like to win such ginormous amount, just imagine four DOJ prosecutors dismissing six drug-related charges against nine Alabang Boys.

Lotto Draw III
Tonight, a lucky super lotto bettor could win as much as 330 million pesos, the biggest lottery prize in Philippine history. And in case you’re wondering how it feels like to win such ginormous amount, imagine Jocjoc Bolante disbursing half of the controversial fertilizer funds.


Lotto Draw IV
The biggest lottery prize in Philippine history is up for grabs tonight: a super lotto bettor could win as much as 330 million pesos! And in case you’re wondering how it feels like to win such ginormous amount, imagine the Euro generals attending an Interpol conference in Russia 47 times.

Lotto Draw IV
Tonight, a lucky super lotto bettor could win as much as 330 million pesos, the biggest lottery prize in Philippine history. And in case you’re wondering how it feels like to win such ginormous amount, imagine E.C. De Luna Construction winning three World Bank-funded projects.

Lotto Draw V
The biggest lottery prize in Philippine history is up for grabs tonight: a super lotto bettor could win as much as 330 million pesos! And in case you’re wondering how it feels like to win such ginormous amount, imagine you’re the First Gentleman and you’re friends with Eduardo De Luna who won at least 22 World Bank-funded projects.

Lotto Draw VI
Later, a lucky super lotto bettor could win as much as 330 million pesos, the biggest lottery prize in history. And in case you’re wondering how it feels like to win such ginormous amount, imagine Dr. Hayden Kho the first time Dr. Vicki Belo said yes to him.

Lotto Draw VII
Tonight, a lucky super lotto bettor could win as much as 330 million pesos, the biggest lottery prize in Philippine history. NBN Channel 4 is also hoping to establish a new record – its highest television ratings in years.

Lotto Draw VIII
The biggest lottery prize in Philippine history is up for grabs tonight: a super lotto bettor could win as much as 330 million pesos! And in case you’re wondering how it feels like to win such ginormous amount, don’t just sit there! Go out and bet! (When I’m done with this blog post, I’ll gonna go out and buy a ticket!)

alma In Other News…
Ness Remarries

I guess you’ve heard the news. Parañaque City councilor Alma Moreno has remarried. She wed Marawi City mayor Sultan Fahad “Pre” Salic. From Mayor “Tsong” of Luzon to Mayor “Pre” of Mindanao. Believe me, Mayor “Tol” of Visayas is next.

belog Belo Sued
A US-based 50-year-old woman has sued well-known cosmetic surgeon Dr. Vicki Belo after her face became swollen following an alleged bungled cosmetic procedure… something that was not really surprising considering how Belo failed to perfect a similar procedure on her own face.

Survey Says…
Where should Lance Corporal Daniel Smith be detained?
Results:
US Embassy: 42%
New Bilibid Prisons: 40%
I have a place: 13%
Others: 5%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

__________
“I wasn’t lucky. I deserved it.”
~Margaret Thatcher

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