HIGHS AND LOWS

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IN HIS NEW YEAR’S DAY message, President Aquino said, “Tiwala akong malinaw na sa inyo kung sino ang mga tunay na kakampi ng taumbayan, at kung sino ang nagpapanggap lamang.” To which Vice President Binay replied, “Choppy ka. Choppy. Ikot ka nang konti. Wala akong marinig.”

Hopeful
A majority of Filipinos: 93 percent – say they are entering 2015 with hope. The remaining 7 percent of Filipinos have gotten tired of saying the same thing every year.

Ninety-three percent of Filipinos entered the New Year with hope. As in previous years, Filipinos should expect some highs and some lows in 2015. In fact, starting next week, the government is letting us experience some highs: the MRT and LRT fare hike.

91Fewer
The number of firecracker-related injuries from the recent New Year’s Eve revelry was fewer compared to figures from last year. Observers attributed this positive development to the Health Department’s decision to prevent Dr. Eric Tayag from making another Iwas-Paputok dance video.

Papal Visit
Reports say Pope Francis will be welcomed by President Aquino in Malacañang on January 16. The Pope and the President for the first time together. Wow. It’s the highly-anticipated meeting between an old, celibate devout Catholic, and Pope Francis.

9No Show
American R&B/hip-hop singer-songwriter Chris Brown was a no-show at his scheduled performance at the Philippine Arena on New Year’s Eve. He decided to cancel his appearance at the very last minute. Brown has since denied rumors his decision to not show up was influenced by Toby Tiangco, Jonvic Remulla and JV Bautista.

Cold
Temperature in Baguio continues to drop. Last Friday, temperature fell to 11 degrees Celsius. It’s really cold in Baguio City right now. If the trend continues, temperature could plunge to record lows and the weather’s going to be really cold. Just how cold? You know, like ‘Noynoy Aquino love life’ levels.

Discovery
Archeologists have discovered what they claim to be the oldest prehistoric tool. The artifact is 1.2 million years old and has an engraving that reads, “If found, please return to the owner: Juan Ponce Enrile.”

1TraslacionNazareno
The annual ‘Traslacion’ or procession of the revered Black Nazarene happens next week. Former Manila mayor Alfredo Lim is a known devotee. Incumbent Manila Mayor Joseph Estrada is a known de-bote.

Apology
Facebook has apologized for its Year in Review feature that highlighted even its users’ painful 2014 memories. It has yet to apologize though for its “Seen” feature on Facebook chat.

Facebook gave its users an option to post a computer-generated Year in Review. It’s a recap of stuff you posted on Facebook in 2014 – otherwise known as “Who cares?!”

Second Chance?
Observers believe Kris Aquino is still in love with Herbert Bautista. Last December 28, the Quezon City mayor visited the TV host in her home. During his post-Christmas visit, did you know what Bistek gave Kris? False hope.

MMFF 2014
The Robin Padilla-starrer ‘Bonifacio: Ang Unang Pangulo’ took home the lion’s share of the awards in the recently-concluded MMFF 2014 Awards Night but failed to attract a large audience. Apparently, some moviegoers lost interest in watching the film when a spoiler came out online that the main character would die.

9
The 2014 Metro Manila Film Festival is over. Congratulations to the producers of ‘The Amazing Praybeyt Benjamin’ for yet another successful ‘Trash to Cash’ venture.
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“We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.”
~ Martin Luther King Jr.

Sound Bites
“Pansinin naman natin ‘yong pagbawas doon sa overall number of injuries. Magbigay naman tayo ng kaunting kredito na nagkaroon din naman ng positibong epekto ito. Kaya nga lang, mas magiging epektibo kung talagang makikiisa na ang mga mamamayan at iiwas na talaga sa mapanganib na paputok lalo na ‘yong pinagbabawal.”
~Communications Secretary Sonny Coloma on the government’s Iwas Paputok campaign

Happy New Year!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: President Aquino: RTVM; Firecracker Victim: Aaron Favila/AP; Chris Brown: Direct Lyrics.Com; Traslacion: Andy Bais/FB; APB: Star Cinema]

OF JOBS, JOKES AND SHRIMPS

1jr
NEARLY 26 PERCENT of Filipino adults were without jobs in June according to a survey conducted by the Social Weather Stations. Those Filipinos have done nothing and haven’t accomplished anything in recent months. In fact, they have a nickname for themselves: congressmen.

Almost 26 percent of Filipino adults are without jobs at present and are looking for work. To be fair, these Filipinos wanted to actually work and are eager to accomplish things. Unlike those people in charge of the MRT.

I have a couple more jokes about unemployed Filipinos. But I was afraid they wouldn’t work.

1PAFocus
In an event Monday, President Aquino took a swipe at those who were already campaigning ahead of the 2016 elections. The President said Filipinos should focus their attention instead on some of the nation’s biggest problems. When the audience heard this, they stared at the President.

Dare
In a press statement, Isabela Representative Rodito Albano dared President Aquino to take the MRT to “experience the suffering” of his bosses. Albano drafted the statement while aboard his multimillion-peso luxury vehicle.

Malacañang rejected Albano’s challenge for President Aquino to ride the congested MRT… not because of security issues but because the MRT doesn’t allow smoking.

1LUCLucy
Have you seen the film Lucy? The action-packed Scarlett Johansson-starrer has received mixed reviews from critics. Personally though, I find the silliness entertaining. It also perpetuates the age-old myth that humans use only 10 percent of their brain. Yeah, it’s only a myth unless of course we’re talking about government officials, then it’s probably true.

The Pope
Talking to reporters aboard the papal plane to the Vatican from South Korea, Pope Francis said he’d probably be gone in two or three years. Mar Roxas and the Liberal Party are pushing for a term extension.

Saying he has done his part, Pope Francis (Jorge Bergoglio) believes he’ll probably be gone in two or three years. His youngest sister Krissy Bergoglio became emotional and was caught on cam crying.

1RMShrimps
While hosting an event in Davao City, comedian Ramon Bautista joked that there were many “babaeng hipon” in the city. The bad news: the feisty Dutertes were offended by the joke. The good news: Ramon made it out of Davao alive.

While hosting an event in Davao City, comedian Ramon Bautista joked that there were many ‘babaeng hipon” in the city. The joke offended Vice Mayor Paolo Duterte who was present in the event. Duterte reprimanded the comedian. Ramon was compelled to apologize for insulting describing those women.

Pinoy Pride
Filipino filmmaker Lav Diaz’s five-hour movie, “Mula sa Kung Ano ang Noon” bagged the top prize at the prestigious Locarno Film Festival in Switzerland. While the festival ended last weekend, the jurors are still watching the film until this morning.

1ass
FHM Sex Survey
According to the FHM 2014 National Sex I.Q. Survey in the Philippines, 33 percent of respondents have been criticized by a woman in bed. When sought to elaborate, one respondent declined and said, “Filipinos should focus their attention instead on some of  the nation’s biggest problems.”

The same FHM survey revealed some 65 percent of Filipinos would seriously consider making their own sex tape in the future. The remaining 35 percent can’t wait to download it.
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“What this country needs is more unemployed politicians.”
~Angela Davis

City Ordinance of the Year
Congratulations Mandaluyong City for this “super brilliant” idea! You deserve an award. Kayo lang ang nakaisip n’yan! Bravo! [Paid item]
1MC

Sound Bites
“Kapag nagbabasa tayo ng diyaryo araw-araw, tila marami nang nangangampanya. Parang nakalimutan nilang may problema tayo ngayon. Kaya naman ang problema sa 2016 na eleksyon, sa 2016 na iyon. Ngayon, tugunan muna natin ang problemang bumabalot po sa ating sambayanan.”
~President Aquino, August 18, 2014

Have a great week!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: BlogsFT.Com, Gov.Ph, Ramon Bautista, FHM Philippines, Wil Cervantes]

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