HAPPY BIRTHDAY VP (And other stories)

“Happy birthday Manong Jojo! Si Noy ho ‘to! Marami na tayong pinagdaanan, at pagdadaanan pa…”

The Poor
According to the Third Quarter survey of the Social Weather Stations, the number of poor Filipinos has dropped. In Manila alone, poor residents are now fewer. Thanks to the APEC summit.

The Poor II
Some of the most powerful leaders from the world’s richest nations will converge in the country for the APEC Summit. Some reports have quoted DSWD Sec. Dinky Soliman as saying street-dwellers will take part in a “reach out” activity while the summit is ongoing. For street-dwellers who do not understand the term “reach out,” it’s simple: we welcome the rich, and you’re out.

Demolition Job
Mar Roxas says the ‘tanim-bala’ issue may be part of a demolition job against the government. Allies believe it’s a plot to destroy the reputation of the administration. Which begs the question: Why the need for ‘tanim-bala’ when you already have people like DOTC Sec. Jun Abaya?

Binay’s Birthday
Vice President Binay marks his 73rd birthday on November 11. Rumors say his supporters organized a circus-themed party. There are clowns, jugglers, and contortionists. The Vice President has personally invited a magician. He’s hoping the magician can make his graft and plunder cases disappear.

Top 10 Birthday Messages Left on Vice President Binay’s Answering Machine

No. 10: “Pare, kumusta? Si Erap ‘to. Happy 73rd birthday pare. Ang tanda mo na rin pala. Pero ‘wag kang mag-alala. FYI lang, sitenta’y otso na ako. Si Mareng Imelda, otsenta’y sais at si Manong Johnny, nubenta’y uno. May something in common tayong apat kaya sure ako pare, magtatagal ka pa.”

No. 9: “Mr. Vice President, si Sonny Trillanes nga pala ‘to. Sige… go ahead, magpakasaya ka! E-enjoy mo lang ang iyong last birthday – as a free man.”

No. 8: “Hello po Sir Binay! Kami ang pabebe girls at wala kaming pakialam kung birthday mo. Bye!”

No. 7: “Pare, si Gerry Limlingan ‘to. Magpa-Pasko na nagtatago pa rin kami ni Ebeng. ‘Tapos kayo, pa-party-party lang d’yan. Tang-i*a naman o.”

No. 6: “Hey Jojo! How are you doing? I heard it’s your birthday. Have a blast. See you around. By the way, Karma here.”

No. 5: “Hi Vice! Krissy here! Grabe, ano ‘tong nasagap kong tsismis na may bago ka na namang dyowa? ‘Kaw talaga – ‘di makuntento sa isa. Ikaw lang naman ang gumagastos. Nakakaloka ka. Ay, wait! Gosh, maling number pala ang na-dial ko. Sorry Manong Jojo.”

No. 4: “Hi Daddy! Si Junjun ‘to. Mali-late ako sa party. Anyway, kahit anong mangyari, ipagpapatuloy ko ang mga nasimulan mo. Naging mayor ka, naging mayor din ako. Naging VP ka, sana maging VP rin ako. Makukulong ka, malamang makukulong din ako. Idol! Happy birthday!”

No. 3: “Hello Mr. Vice President… this is Mar. Ang bilis talaga ng panahon. Birthday mo na naman. Almost exactly a year ago din, 37 percent pa ang rating mo at No. 1 ka sa SWS survey. Anyareh? Bye! #azarLang #PSYAnyarehsaRating #AlDubTheEndisNear #OTWOLGoodVibes #ZaynPleaseComeBack #AbayaDontResign”

No. 2: “Darling, si Ellen ‘to. Anong oras ka ba uuwi? Nagpadala ng dalawang birthday cake dito ang city hall: isang dark chocolate at isang black forest. Ipababalik ko ba? Nakakainsulto eh.

And the No. 1 message left on Vice President Binay’s answering machine…

“Happy birthday Manong Jojo! Si Noy ho ‘to! Marami na tayong pinagdaanan, at pagdadaanan pa. Kahit nasa kulungan ka na, sana hindi pa rin masira ang pagkakaibigan ng ating mga pamilya. Ang mahalaga, buhay ka pa naman ‘di ba?”
“But better to get hurt by the truth than comforted with a lie.”
~Khaled Hosseini

Sound Bites
“Bago tayo manibak, siguraduhin muna nating may ebidensya at tamang tao ang sisibakin. Mahirap ‘yong taga lang tayo nang taga ng ulo dito.”
~DOTC Sec. Jun Abaya on the “tanim-bala” controversy

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: Street Dwellers: Interaksyon; APEC Summit: Wikipedia; Kris: TechPinas.Com; Roxas YouTube Channel; Binay: GMANetwork.com]


VICE PRESIDENT Binay left for Johannesburg Monday to attend the memorial service for Nobel laureate and former South African president Nelson Mandela in Qunu village. Yes, the Vice President is now in Africa. Don’t expect me to make a racist joke about Binay. I don’t wanna be accused of black propaganda.

RomualdezRomualdez vs. Roxas
Watching DILG Sec. Mar Roxas and Tacloban City Mayor Alfred Romualdez trade barbs on TV is like watching a boxing match. I don’t have the latest score yet but I think Binay is ahead on points.

An emotional Tacloban City Mayor Alfred Romualdez breaks down in tears during a congressional hearing. Imeldific.

The Bureau of Customs has a new OIC. Finance Undersecretary John Philip Sevilla says his appointment to the BOC proves that God has “a sense of humor.” Sevilla will serve for only two months but one of his goals is to “stop smuggling” in the country. He, too, has a sense of humor.

The latest SWS survey showed 1 in 4 Filipinos remains poor. The other three are still in denial.

According to the latest SWS survey, President Aquino’s net satisfaction rating has dropped to +56 percentage points in September. If it’s any consolation, that figure was way much higher than the combined satisfaction ratings given by his ex-girlfriends.

Yahoo! News reported that the World Boxing Council has named Manny Pacquiao the No. 1 contender to Floyd Mayweather Jr’s welterweight title. Pacquiao’s potential mega-buck bout excites Freddie Roach, Bob Arum, and Kim Henares.

Briefly Noted
The very outspoken Edwin Lacierda is very silent these days. I hope he’s okay.

A daughter of paroled homicide convict Jose Antonio Leviste respects President Aquino’s order to probe the granting of parole to her dad. Toni Leviste explains, “We leave everything to God.” To which God replied, “’k.”

Sotto and Drugs
After the controversial bar slapping incident involving TV host Anne Curtis, Tito Sotto proposes a random drug test on celebrities. If he wants to rid the industry of drug users, the death of local showbiz looms.

Mars Mission
Reports say a Dutch company is pushing through with its plan of sending four humans to planet Mars in 2018. To date, some 200,000 people have applied for it. Those people are called nuts.

A 2018 Mars mission is sending four people to the Red Planet. The catch: it’s a one-way trip. I hope they’d add more slots. We’d like to volunteer our lawmakers!

Canadian pop superstar Justin Bieber is in the country to raise funds for Yolanda victims. Bieber performed in a mini-concert, and played hoops with kids in Tacloban City. I’m still verifying rumors though that the mayor of Tacloban was prevented by burly bodyguards from shaking hands with Justin saying, “You have to understand that you are a Romualdez and our boss is a Bieber.”
“Politics is the art of saying well that which may or may not be true.”
~ Orrin Woodward

Sound Bites
“People were feeling frustrated seeing all these military planes and trucks, and there were dead people, and they were hearing the voices of survivors. And yet there was never and ever any rescue up to today.”
~Tacloban City Mayor Alfred Romualdez

“You have to understand you are a Romualdez and the President is an Aquino. He has to be very careful. The national government, we have to be very careful just taking over because the President does not want to be misconstrued na nang-aagaw ng kapangyarihan.”
~DILG Sec. Mar Roxas recalling his conversation with Tacloban Mayor Alfred Romualdez

I’ll be fair to everyone this Christmas. Nobody gets a gift.

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: Global Partnership.Org, Philippine Daily Inquirer, Philippine Star, Coach Chot Reyes]

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