CYNTHIA?! (And the Twitterverse explodes!)

Here are some of most savage, funniest, and wittiest reactions to Cynthia Villar’s statement on medical frontliners.

MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS have called for a return to Enhanced Community Quarantine (ECQ) in Metro Manila for two weeks only (August 1 to 15) to recalibrate strategies against COVID-19.

When Cynthia Villar was asked about the medical frontliners’ appeal during a radio interview, she said, “Hindi na siguro. Pagbutihin nila ang trabaho nila. (Laughs) Hindi pwedeng isara ang ekonomiya.”

As expected, “Cynthia Villar” became the No. 1 trending topic on Twitter. Here’s how netizens reacted to her statement.

Sana, kung paano nagalit ang iba kay Cynthia Villar, ganun din ang galit sa kapalpakan ng pinuno nila, si Mr. Gasolina. Siya ang pinakamalala sa lahat!

I’m on Twitter: @HecklerForever8

#QuarantQuiz: HIDDEN NATIONS

Here’s another quiz to take when you’re bored AF.

Answers:

1: SPAIN

2: GERMANY

3: KOREA

4: FINLAND

5: NEPAL

6: CANADA

7: CHILE

8: CHINA

9: PERU

10: INDIA

Instagram and Twitter: @HecklerForever8

DUQUE’S SECOND WAVE, ROQUE’S MELTDOWN, AND OTHER STORIES

Presidential spokesperson Harry Roque accused CNN Philippines reporter, Tricia Terada of inaccurate reporting.

I’m on Twitter: @HecklerForever8

TIKTOK, IISANG DAGAT, AND A GRAVELY ILL POLITICIAN

The “gravely ill” politician had a cardiovascular system procedure last April 12.

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever8

Exclusive: UPCAT ESSAY QUESTIONS LEAKED

Tatlong hayop na ang nag-interrupt sa speech ni Duterte: ipis, langaw, at tuko. Batay sa physical appearance niya ngayon, anong hayop ang sunod na lalapit sa kanya?

Here are the leaked UPCAT essay questions. Good luck examinees!

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i’m on twitter and IG: @hecklerforever8

BREAKING: MGA KA-DDS NILAYASAN ANG FACEBOOK

Banned by Facebook for posting fake news and black propaganda, online supporters of Duterte and Marcos will transfer to Friendster.

FRIENDS OF THE DEVIL

It’s official. According to the University of the Philippines, Imee Marcos did not graduate from UP Diliman.

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever8

OF PANTIES AND PAY HIKES

President Duterte is getting a generous pay hike. Can you guess how much does he make a month?











IMELDA, ‘ANG PROBINSYANO,’ AND POWER NAPS

Mrs. Marcos skipped the promulgation because she was reportedly sick that day – although she partied that same night.

Originally published by the Philippine Daily Inquirer on Nov. 18, 2018.

Imelda

A NEW research published in the journal, Pediatrics revealed that most babies (57 percent) do not sleep through the night. That explains why President Duterte missed those events at the ASEAN Summit.

Last Wednesday, President Duterte skipped several events at the 33rd ASEAN Summit in Singapore. His spokesman said he “took power naps.” To be fair, Duterte’s absence in those events was the country’s brightest moment during the five-day summit.

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Imelda Marcos has been found guilty of seven counts of graft. But the former First Lady is still running for governor of Ilocos Norte next year because she “wants to serve” her constituents. She can actually do something even better: serve her prison term.

Mrs. Marcos failed to attend the promulgation of the guilty verdict saying she was “suffering from multiple organ infirmities.” Even her organs are sick of her.

Mrs. Marcos skipped the promulgation because she was reportedly sick that day – although she partied that same night. Then on Friday, she claimed she didn’t know about the promulgation at all. Do you remember the saying, “Ang sinungaling ay kapatid ng magnanakaw?” In some cases, “Ang sinungaling at magnanakaw ay iisa lang.”

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Last Friday, the Sandiganbayan allowed Imelda Marcos to post P150,000 bail for her provisional liberty – giving her yet another reason to party.

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Imelda is already 89 years old. According to a medical certificate from the St. Luke’s Medical Center, she has seven ailments. And yet, she’s still very strong and full of life. Some say it’s stem cell. Others believe it’s formalin.

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The former First Lady has yet to release an official statement on the Court’s ruling. But some sympathizers have expressed their support for her like Quezon 3rd District Rep. Danilo Suarez, Sen. Cynthia Villar, and the Philippine National Police.

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PNP chief Director General Oscar Albayalde got flak for making comments on the impending arrest of Mrs. Marcos. Albayalde said, “Baka magalit sa atin, matanda na. May edad na kasi.” Thank you Sir for letting us know who was being referred to in the PNP motto, “To serve and protect.”

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The PNP chief gave us the impression it would be difficult to arrest Imelda because of health, age, and the fact that her last name is neither De Lima nor Trillanes.

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Amid the barrage of criticisms being hurled against him on the Imelda Marcos issue, PNP chief Oscar Albayalde complained about ‘Ang Probinsyano,’ the most popular primetime series today. The distraction worked. We all fell for it. Congratulations!

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The PNP chief scored the negative depiction of policemen in the primetime series. Albayalde said the portrayal is unfair to the police force. “I so agree,” said Imelda Marcos.

PNP chief Oscar Albayalde insists the inaccurate depiction of cops in the primetime series gives a bad impression of police officers. Albayalde should be thankful. The impression would have been a lot worse if the depiction was truly accurate.

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Former Makati City Mayor Jejomar Binay claimed he was cheated in the 2016 presidential elections. (No need for a punchline.)
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“It is the common people’s duty to police the police.”
~Steven Magee

Sound Bites
“Itong Australyano di ko maintindihan. Ang invitation eh ‘informal’ breakfast…Unang una hindi ako kumakain ng breakfast… Pangalawa, informal. Ano ipakakain nila sa atin? Kangaroo?”
~Rodrigo Duterte on skipping the ASEAN-Australia informal breakfast

Nope, they won’t serve you kangaroo. They’ll offer you rabies vaccine.

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever8

[Photos: Duterte: South China Morning Post; Ang Probinsyano: PhilStar; Imelda Marcos: Associated Press]