HERE’S PART III of our series of questions for senatorial candidates. I’ve included some for local bets and future Tarlac governor Kris Aquino.

1LOREGrace Poe
Bawat buka ng iyong bibig ay nababanggit ang pangalan ni Fernando Poe Jr: “Dahil kay FPJ” “Kung wala si FPJ” “Laban ni FPJ” “Nasimulan ni FPJ” “Turo ni FPJ” blah blah blah FPJ. Ano po bang klaseng ina si Susan Roces?

Jack Enrile
Sa estimate ng iyong strategists, ilang percentage points ang posibleng madagdag sa iyong Pulse Asia at SWS survey ratings matapos itampok sa dalawang magkasunod na episodes ng ‘Maalaala Mo Kaya ang kwento ng buhay ng iyong ama?

Alan Peter Cayetano
In 140 characters or less, defend ‘political dynasty.’

Nancy Binay
Namamayagpag ka sa senatorial surveys, at kung paniniwalaan ang mga ito, tiyak na ang panalo mo bilang legislator. Hindi ka ba natatakot?

Bam Aquino
Aminado kang malaki ang naging impluwensya sa ‘yo ni Ninoy Aquino – ang iyong tiyo. Ano naman ang naging impluwensya, if at all, ni Tessie Aquino-Oreta, ang iyong tiya?

JV Ejercito
Kung pagkakaisa at pagkakaunawaan ang susi sa pag-unlad, paano mo ipaliliwanag ang pag-unlad n’yo ni Jinggoy?

Cynthia Villar
Ayon sa Pulse Asia, ang iyong mga patalastas ang pinaka-tumatak sa isip ng publiko. Gaano kalaking tulong ang premature campaigning sa iyong kandidatura?

Aga Muhlach (Camarines Sur)
Kung mananalo kang kongresista, paano mo lalabanan ang antok sa Kongreso?

Annabelle Rama (Cebu)
Ilang buwan ka na ring walang kaaway. Ok ka lang ba?

ER Ejercito (Laguna)
Gaano karaming boto ang magiging lamang mo sa iyong kalaban kung miyembro ng FAMAS at PMPC ang mga botante sa iyong lalawigan?

Kris Aquino
If you decide to seek the gubernatorial post in Tarlac in 2016 at iiwan mo permanently ang showbiz, how can we thank you?

Generic Questions
Kung kayo ay isang hayop, bakit buwaya?

Kung ikaw ay mananalo, ang termino mo ay three years lamang. Kung matutupad ang pangako mong libreng edukasyon sa bawat mag-aaral, sapat na pagkain sa bawat mesa, at tiyak na trabaho sa bawat Pilipino, ano ka – magician?

SENATOR Loren Legarda accused a fellow Team PNoy candidate of orchestrating a smear campaign to destroy her reputation. Some sources say the candidate is male, a re-electionist, and separated from his wife. Alan Peter Cayetano immediately issued a statement saying his marriage is very much intact.

Sen. Loren Legarda says a fellow Team PNoy candidate is out to destroy her. Legarda hints the mysterious candidate is male and a re-electionist – much to the relief of ex-senator Jamby Madrigal who is not a re-electionist.

Kris’ Choice?
Reports say Kris Aquino has given the impression that she won’t vote for the entire Team PNoy slate. Loren Legarda too.

Asked if she’d vote for UNA’s Nancy Binay, Kris Aquino answered, “I don’t want to put my brother in an alanganin position. I hope you don’t mind if I don’t answer.” She just said yes.

On whether or not she’s voting for Nancy Binay, Kris Aquino said, “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having friends and with supporting their friends.” But the TV host refused to elaborate and said, “I don’t want to put my brother in an alanganin position.” She just did.

Kris 2016
Acknowledging the fact that the Binay dynasty is unbeatable in Makati City, TV host Kris Aquino – herself a registered Makati voter said she’ll just look for another city where she could possibly run for mayor. In other news, Herbert Bautista is worried.

Manila Race
Former president Joseph Estrada admits the mayoral race between him and Mayor Alfredo Lim in Manila is neck and neck – which is a bit surprising since Erap does not have a neck.

Pamela and the President
Hollywood bombshell Pamela Anderson has invited President Aquino to dinner to discuss the plight of elephant Mali. Animal rights activists say Mali is living a really “lonely” life in Manila. Perhaps the only thing lonelier is President Aquino.

According to reports, President Aquino turned down the invitation of Pamela Anderson. Sayang! The President and Pamela would have been a good match. The playboy and the playmate.
“Those who are crazy enough to think they can change the world usually do.”
~ Steve Jobs

Sound Bites
“I’m now a voter in Makati, but open naman ako kasi alam kong hindi matitibag ang mga Binay doon, so maghahanap na lang ako ng ibang siyudad sa Metro Manila kung saan pwede.”
~Presidential sister Kris Aquino on running for public office in 2016

Happy weekend!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: AP/Showbiznest]


MAALAALA MO KAYA’s ‘Kampanyaserye’ featured the life story of Juan Ponce Enrile – father of senatorial candidate Jackie Enrile. Apparently, it’s a two-part series. One for Pulse Asia and one for SWS.

Two weeks before the campaign period, multi-awarded drama anthology ‘Maalaala Mo Kaya’ featured the story of senatorial candidates Alan Peter Cayetano and Grace Poe. Two weeks before the elections, they’re featuring Enrile. Television shows have its highs and lows. This is MMK at its lowest.

To be fair, ‘Maalaala Mo Kaya,’ is not insulting its viewers’ intelligence. MMK is assuming they don’t have any.

Binay, Victim?
Senatorial aspirant Nancy Binay says she’s a victim of cyber bullying. That claim is highly debatable. But since she won’t debate on this issue anyway, let’s just move on.

Maceda Falls
Bad news from the UNA campaign trail: former senator Ernesto Maceda lost his footing and stumbled as he inched his way toward the stage. But the veteran politician recovered quickly, regained his composure and eventually won first runner-up.

Papin Is In
Last week, the Commission on Elections reversed its earlier ruling, and allowed Imelda Papin to run for a Congressional seat in Bulacan. Isn’t that a bit unfair to her? It’s already April 28. Papin has only 14 days left to prepare for a loss.

ABS-CBN Corporation says it expects to earn at least 1-billion pesos from political ads. And that’s just for ‘Maalaala Mo Kaya.’

As in previous elections, ABS-CBN Corporation expects huge revenues from candidates. To which the New People’s Army said, “Kami rin.”

mmkNothing Romantic
President Aquino has denied reports he’s courting Bianca Manalo. Sought for comment, the former beauty queen said, “Thank God!’

Consul In Trouble
Philippine consul general to Vancouver Jose Ampeso is in hot water after a video of him berating an OFW surfaced online. Ampeso was reportedly drunk. The government has asked the intoxicated consul to come home, explain, and consider an offer to become Executive Secretary.

Gun Control
According to a Pulse Asia survey, 75 percent of Filipinos support a policy of gun control in the Philippines. The rest are idiots.

SALN Deadline
Government officials and employees including politicians have until Tuesday, April 30 to file their statement of assets, liabilities and net worth or SALN. If you’re a politician, you have absolutely nothing to worry about as long as you possess truthfulness, honesty, and undetected secret accounts in the British Virgin Islands.

Poverty Level
Data gathered by the National Statistical Coordination Board showed poverty level in the country has remained unchanged since 2006. President Aquino doubted the results of the study. See? Even the reaction of the sitting president is unchanged.

mmkThe Barrettos
Have you been following the controversial Barretto family feud? Inday Barretto spoke against daughter Gretchen and son JJ for saying nasty things against their youngest sibling Claudine. I mean, with family members like that, who needs the Tulfos?

In a letter published by columnist Ricky Lo, Mommy Inday Barretto defended daughter Claudine against her sister Gretchen. Latest rumors say Gretchen texted Claudine, “If you want a fight, I’ll give you one – anytime, anywhere.” And Claudine replied, “Sure! Tomorrow, NAIA Terminal 3.”
“The most effective way to destroy people is to deny and obliterate their own understanding of their history.”
~ George Orwell on propaganda

Sound Bites
“It makes me squirm when I watch on television a cleric mouthing a political vocabulary. It makes my toes curl.”
~Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago on the so-called ‘Catholic vote’

“I offer my sincerest apologies to everyone I have ever badgered to register, but I take nothing back. The fact that I have failed to exercise this responsibility myself does not make me wrong about any of that. Although admittedly, it makes me all kinds of stupid.”
~Comelec spokesman James Jimenez admitting that he cannot vote since his registration had been deactivated

Have a fun week ahead!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.


ANOTHER DOSE of totally baseless information and factoids or or about political figures, government officials, and other prominent individuals and organizations in the Philippines.

131: Since the launch of her TV ad, Mary Grace Poe has uttered the word “Poe” 2,728 times.

132: In high school, Nancy Binay was voted “Most Likely to Win a National Election Even Without A Track Record.”

133: Cynthia Villar and Florence Nightingale were frenemies in their past life.

134: According to a study, men speak an average of 7,000 words per day. Richard Gordon speaks 14,000.

135: The first thing that Pope Benedict XVI did after resigning was to learn the ‘Harlem Shake.’

136: Five percent of survey respondents said they would vote for Alan Peter Cayetano because of Gerald Anderson who played the role of the reelectionist senator in ‘Maalaala Mo Kaya.’

137: The Office of the Vice President has a pet dog named Jejemon – Jejemon Binay.

138: If she wins in May, Jamby Madrigal will donate 50 units of iPad to Comelec.

139: Ninety-seven percent of party-list group nominees are millionaires. The rest are getting there.

140: Reelectionist Manila Mayor Alfredo Lim drafted his concession speech as early as January.

141: The number of complaints against Globe and Smart is more than twice the number of complaints received by all government offices and agencies combined.

142: Sen. Kiko Pangilinan’s wife Sharon is still very active on Twitter. She tweets using a parody account.

143: An MMDA report identified Quezon City as the “deadliest city for pedestrians” in 2012. Another study named it as the city with “the most number of epaliticians who are proud of it.”

144: Congressional aspirant Annabelle Rama has not fought with anyone publicly for almost four months now – an all-time, personal record.

1 FNR Like Page
145: Risa Hontiveros is a huge LA Lakers fan.

146: There are more Filipinos in Sabah than in Sulu.

147: Chiz Escudero and Heart Evangelista are just good friends.

148: A music lover since birth, former Senate President Ernesto Maceda has never missed a single episode of ‘Glee.’ He’s starting to get hooked on ‘Pretty Little Liars’ too.

149: Isko Moreno once bagged the 250,000-peso grand prize in a Bingo game.

150: Jack Enrile believes he’d lose the elections if his last name wasn’t Enrile.

151: When the RH Law was passed, the Diocese of Bacolod banned gays and lesbians from attending Sunday masses.

152: President Aquino’s ringback tone is ‘Pusong Bato.’

153: Congressional candidate Aga Muhlach thought Bicol was a province.

154: Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo left the country for the United States via Cebu last Sunday.

155: Tingting Cojuangco’s face is younger than her body.

In case you missed, Rumors, Facts and Humor 1-4.
“Every election is determined by the people who show up.”
~Larry J. Sabato, Pendulum Swing

Sound Bites
“It’s so good to hear. People were clapping. It’s music to the ear.”
~Vice President Binay’s reaction when he was introduced as “the next president” during an UNA campaign sortie

Have a safe and fun weekend!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: Risa Hontiveros FB Page; MMK]