10 04 2013

APRIL 15 is the deadline for the filing of income tax returns. The tax season reminds us of two things. One, ordinary citizens’ money goes to the government, and two, politicians’ money goes to the British Virgin Islands.

Government employees – including elected officials are also required to file their Statement of Assets, Liabilities and Net Worth or SALNs on April 15 – otherwise known as “Test of Honesty Day.”

Government officials and employees are required to submit their 2012 SALNs on or before April 15. I heard that Manny Villar, JV Ejercito and Imee Marcos have filled out their SALN forms as early as April 8. Under liabilities, they wrote, “PCIJ.”

Nancy Hurting
Senatorial aspirant Nancy Binay admitted she was hurt by a scathing Philippine Daily Inquirer editorial titled, “Unqualified.” Nancy said the attacks were “vicious” and were part of a “demolition campaign.” As a rejoinder, the Inquirer is writing another editorial titled, “Whatever.”

The Promise
Weeks after declaring that she’s quitting showbiz, presidential sister Kris Aquino is still in showbiz. She’s not keeping her promise. It all points to a successful career in politics.

Classified documents acquired by Wikileaks revealed that former President Marcos organized a birthday party in 1973 in which military generals were ordered by Imelda Marcos to perform in a “tasteless” show wearing women’s clothes. Mrs. Marcos categorically denied that General Ver’s ‘Cher costume’ was tasteless.

Church Attendance
A recent Social Weather Stations survey showed that the number of Filipino Catholics who regularly attend Sunday Catholic mass had dropped to only 37 percent. The rest were ‘enlightened.’

According to the latest SWS survey, 9.2 percent of Filipinos consider leaving the Catholic Church – “sometimes.” The others consider it all the time.

The latest SWS survey showed that only 37 percent of Filipino Catholics attend Sunday mass regularly. UNA spokesman Toby Tiangco questioned the results of the study and challenged the SWS to identify the financiers of the survey.

Margaret Thatcher, 87
Former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher is dead. In a few weeks, the Iron Lady will be in an advanced state of corrosion.

Margaret Thatcher is dead. Can we now invade the Falkland Islands?

Just weeks after the passing of Venezuela’s Hugo Chavez, Britain’s Margaret Thatcher died. They say it comes in threes. Well, Ruffy Biazon’s days at the Bureau of Customs are numbered.

More Attractive
Size does matter. Australian researchers revealed that men with a larger penis were rated as being “relatively more attractive” to women. At 53, President Aquino is still single. Wala lang. Promise, wala talaga.
“There is no worse tyranny than to force a man to pay for what he does not want merely because you think it would be good for him.”
~ Robert A. Heinlein

Sound Bites
“Bakit naka-schedule sa tag-init ang kampanya para sa election? Dahil dito napapatunayan kung anong klaseng pulitiko ang nangangampanya. Kung matunaw sila sa init, ibig sabihin plastic sila. Kung masunog sila sa araw, ibig sabihin mapapel sila. At kung mahilig silang magbilad sa araw, malamang buwaya sila.”
~Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago on politicians

Beat the heat!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.



9 10 2012

VOTING UNANIMOUSLY, the Supreme Court of the Philippines issued a temporary restraining order on the controversial Cybercrime Prevention Act of 2012! And Leila De Lima was like, “Ahmm… do I really have to follow that?”

Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago says the Cybercrime Law is “unconstitutional.” But Justice Secretary Leila De Lima insists it is “constitutional.” Do you still remember when Leila De Lima was out there defending fundamental human rights like free speech? Me neither.

The good news is the Supreme Court has voted unanimously to stop the implementation of the Cybercrime Law. The bad news is the High Court has yet to issue a TRO on Tito Sotto’s never-ending “Ako ang favorite whipping boy… ” rant.

It was a unanimous vote by the magistrates of the Supreme Court. As long as they’re UNITED against the unconstitutional provisions of the Cybercrime Law, I really don’t care if they’re DIVIDED during flag ceremonies. Thank you Supreme Court!

TRO on the Cybercrime Law: Reactions

“Our missiles is easy to reached your mainland Padre Faura. We warn your Supreme Court of Manila!”
~Supreme Leader Kim Jong Un (North Korea)

“Last day, I happy because I win election. Today, I lonely because court okay speaking freedom in Philippines. I disappoint. Very disappoint.”
~President Hugo Chavez (Venezuela)

“You Pilipinos unfair in Sotto. Sotto correct every time. Sotto right against whip boy. I big pity whip boy. TRO can giant blow in fight opposite cyberspaced opinions. Very bad rule in your Supreme Court.”
~President Hu Jintao (China)

“Sad day in future of Philippinos government. You speak negative, you free. You write anti, you free. You tweet criticize, you free. You unlike work politicians, you free. You free is bad to country. I sentence Justices must die in stone! Stone justices, stone!”
~President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (Iran)

“Que horror! Wrong decision. Korte Suprema afraid of people. Government can fight Korte Suprema. Freedom not always right. Freedom not always help economy. Wrong decision. TRO was devil. Devil in high degrees.”
~Fidel Castro (Cuba)

“We admire the justices of the Supreme Court. The magistrates are cerebral unlike the lawyers from La Salle and Ateneo who are intellectual pretenders and interlopers!”
~The Varsitarian, Official student publication, The Pontifical and Royal University of Santo Tomas, The Catholic University of the Philippines

“I will always respect the legal processes that are issued by the court.”
~President Noynoy Aquino

“I will always respect the legal processes that are issued by the court, too.”
~Tito Sotto, comedian/politician

In Other News
In a scathing anti-RH Bill editorial, UST’s official student publication, The Varsitarian hit Ateneo and La Salle professors who were supportive of the bill calling them “intellectual pretenders.” The Atenean and La Sallian professors retaliated by proofreading the article.

Reports say 15 nurses were dismissed for ‘liking’ a Facebook status of a colleague who criticized the management of the Taguig-Pateros City District Hospital. The Taguig City administrator denied the allegation and insisted that the nurses were fired for “disregard of authority,” “disobedience,” and for rejecting his Facebook friend request repeatedly.

Penis Size
According to a recent study, Congolese have the longest manhood while Indians, Chinese, Thais, and North/South Koreans have the shortest. The study didn’t cover the Philippines… much to the relief of Filipinos.
“A man is angry at a libel because it is false, but at a satire because it is true.”
~ G.K. Chesterton

Quote of the Weak
“I withdrew it, alam mo kung bakit, kasi gusto rin ni Noynoy (President Aquino) ang libel kaya winidraw ko.”
~Sen. Tito Sotto on his bill seeking to junk the Libel Law

Enjoy the rest of the week!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[SC Ruling Photo: GMA News’ Lia Mañalac]

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