IMORAL! ADIK! BOBO! ATBP. KWENTO

Anong lesson ang mapupulot sa pagkakaaresto sa magkasintahang drug suspects na sina Karen Bordador at Emilio Lim?

1Duperfect
THINK YOU’RE UPDATED? Find out by answering this current events fun quiz. Kapag na-perfect n’yo, bibigyan kayo ng puwesto sa gobyerno. ‘Yan naman ang uso! Good luck!

1: Sa kanyang talumpati sa Camp Crame, tinawag na “immoral woman” ni President Duterte si Sen. Leila De Lima dahil may “lover” daw ito. Bakit ito nasabi ng Pangulo?
A: Dahil sa panahong ito, mas tanggap ng mga Pilipino ang pumatay ka kaysa magkaroon ka ng kabit
B: May karapatang magsabi ng gano’n ang Presidente dahil never siyang nambabae. Perfect husband siya.
C: Actually, nagbibiro lang ang Pangulo; pampaingay lang ‘yon para ma-promote ang bago niyang showbiz-oriented talk show sa Channel 4.

1MarcosPhilstar
2: Ayon kay Manny Pacquiao (na ibinoto n’yong senador), dapat ilibing sa Libingan ng mga Bayani ang namayapang diktador na si Ferdinand Marcos. Paliwanag ni Manny, “Huwag tayong magalit kung anuman ang nagawa niya.” Bakit daw?
A: Dahil mga bobo tayo
B: Dahil paninira lamang ‘yon kay Marcos
C: Dahil sabi raw sa Romans 12:5, “Ang ‘di mag-move on, bitter!”

1MP
3: Still on Pacquiao, sa kanyang kauna-unahang privilege speech bilang senador, inihayag nito ang suporta niya sa death penalty. Ayon kay Manny…
A: “Si God nga pinatay halos lahat ng tao sa buong mundo sa pamamagitan ng baha, tayo pa kaya?”
B: “Masyado nang maraming bobo at istupido sa bansang ito. Magbawas tayo.”
C: “Kahit naman walang death penalty, marami na ring pinapatay ngayon. So parang ganun na rin. Sanayan lang!”

1KBordador
4: Anong lesson ang mapupulot sa pagkakaaresto sa magkasintahang drug suspects na sina Karen Bordador at Emilio Lim?
A: Hindi marunong “manlaban” ang mga suspect na nakatira sa condo.
B: Kapag mababango, mugshots. Kapag dugyutin, shots lang.
C: Kapag may pangalan, mugshots. Kapag nameless, cardboard.

1Hero
5: Nag-leave na ang kapatid ni Quezon City Mayor Herbert Bautista na si Councilor Hero Bautista upang magpa-rehab. Sa privilege speech sa harap ng konseho, sinabi ni Hero na “biktima” siya ng droga. Ano kaya ang reaksyon ng droga?
A: “Biktima?!? Kami ba ang lumapit? Kami ba ang gumamit?! Nakakaloka ka!”
B: “There’s a Hero… if you look inside your heart. You don’t have to be afraid of what you are.”
C: “Sisihin talaga kami?! Pwes, dahil marupok ka naman pala, magpalit ka na ng pangalan. Victim Bautista, mas bagay sa ‘yo ‘yan. Tse!”

1JoeySal
6: Ayon kay Albay Governor Joey Salceda, ano raw ang dapat sisihin sa paglala ng traffic ngayon sa EDSA?
A: Lumalaking populasyon ng mga bading
B: Kotse ng mga pulitikong balimbing
C: Lubak-lubak na kalsada

1Schooling
7: Matapos iuwi ng swimmer na si Joseph Schooling ang kauna-unahang gold medal ng Singapore sa Summer Olympics, sinaliksik ng local media ang buhay nito at napag-alaman nilang Filipina ang yayang nagpalaki sa atleta: si Yolanda Pascual. Pero alam n’yo bang may “kunek” din pala sa Pilipinas ang pinakamahusay ngayong female Olympic gymnast na si Simone Biles ng US? Hulaan n’yo kung ano.
A: Ang biological parents ni Simone Biles ay may kapitbahay na South Korean na laging kumakain sa restaurant kung saan nagtatrabaho ang kanyang best friend na Mexican na ang ex-boyfriend ay minsang may nakasabay na Pinoy sa CR! Amazing!
B: Si Simone Biles ay may height lamang na 4’9” na ‘di nalalayo sa height na 4’11” ng dating pangulo ng Pilipinas na si Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo. Ang lapit!
C: Si Simone Biles ay mula Milky Way Galaxy kung saan located ang ating Solar System na kinaroroonan ng planetang Earth kung saan matatagpuan ang Estados Unidos na bahagi ng Asia-Pacific Region na kinabibilangan din ng Pilipinas. Nakaka-proud!

1Ellen
8: Inakusahan ng pagiging racist si Ellen DeGeneres dahil sa picture na ito na lumabas sa official Twitter account ng kanyang talk show. Ano ba ang sabi niya sa tweet?
A: “My new pet is amazing!”
B: “Horsin’ around before our taping.”
C: “Off to the jungle!”

1Chiz
9: Ano ang ibig sabihin nito?! Paki-explain!
A: Ito ang unang phase ng transition ni Senator Chiz. Supportive naman si Heart – in fairness.
B: Tapos na ang special course niya sa TESDA. OJT na.
C: Confeeeeeeeeermed!

1Romance
10: Sa Cagayan De Oro City, ipinagbabawal ng Golden Heritage Polytechnic College ang pagkakaroon ng “intimate relationship” sa pagitan ng mga lalaki at mga babaeng estudyante. Ano ang masasabi n’yo?
A: Puwede bang itama muna ang grammar sa tarp bago pakialaman ang personal na buhay ng mga estudyante?!
B: Kung bawal ang relasyon sa pagitan ng male and female students, pwede bang male to male o female to female? #LoveWins
C: Sa nakaisip ng panuntunang ‘yan: huwag kang bitter! Kung masama ang experience mo noon, huwag kang mandamay! Pangit!

Bonus Question: Kaninong diet ito?
1Diet
A: Sen. Franklin Drilon
B: Olympic silver medalist Hidilyn Diaz
C: Jessy Mendiola
Guess first then click here for the answer.
——————————————————————————————————————————-
“A hypocrite is the kind of politician who would cut down a redwood tree, then mount the stump and make a speech for conservation.”
~Adlai E. Stevenson II

Sound Bites
“It’s so foul, it’s character assassination. We are both professionals, the President and I. We are both public servants. I hope he doesn’t resort to those foul means. To me, that’s very foul.”
~Sen. Leila De Lima on President Duterte’s personal tirades

Stay safe.

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: Duterte: Inquirer.Net; Karen Bordador/BF: PNP-PIO; Marcos: Edd Gumban/Philstar; Hero Bautista: Richard Reyes/PDI; Manny Pacquiao: Grig Montegrande/PDI; Salceda: GMA Network; Yolanda/Schooling: Singtel; The Ellen Show; CDO: ABSCBNNews; Heart/Chiz: Happy Skin]

BIBLICAL

“Biblical ang death penalty. Basahin nila sa Romans 13 nandoon ‘yan, pabor ako diyan.”

1PacProc
THE COMMISSION on Elections has proclaimed the 12 newly-elected senators. Thirteenth place finisher Francis Tolentino, who asked the Supreme Court to stop the proclamation of the 10th, 11th and 12th place winners, failed to secure a TRO. Instead, the justices sent him a book called, “101 Ways to Move On.”

Pacquiao
Manny Pacquiao is now a senator. He was elected by 16,050,546 Filipinos. Observers say Pacquiao’s win brings him closer to the presidency. Some netizens howled, “Filipinos are not that dumb to make him president.” Believe me, they are.

Death Penalty
Senator-elect Manny Pacquiao, who is anti-RH Law, supports the restoration of the death penalty because “it’s Biblical.” He’s the first Filipino lawmaker in history to be pro-life and pro-death at the same time.

Rio Olympics
When asked if he would compete in the Rio Olympics, Pacquiao said, “I’ll let the people decide.” When asked if they wanted Pacquiao to go back to boxing, the people replied, “He should have just stayed there.”

Education
After being proclaimed as senator, Manny Pacquiao told the media he would push for better education for Filipinos. Which is essential if we want to prevent candidates like him from being voted again to the Senate.

1DeLimaDWIZ
Deserving
Former justice secretary Leila De Lima has been elected senator of the republic. The feisty lawyer got 14.14 million non-Iglesia Ni Cristo votes. Congratulations!

Defector
In 2010, the hardworking governor of Albay, Joey Salceda abandoned Gilbert Teodoro and defected to the Liberal Party. Last elections, he junked Liberal Party standard bearer Mar Roxas and defected to the camp of Sen. Grace Poe. Earlier this week, Salceda defected yet again, this time to the side of President-elect Rodrigo Duterte. There’s no doubt as to his competence as a local government official but if Martians would invade the Earth, Salceda would probably be the first person to defect to them.

Oldest
Mayor Rodrigo Duterte is the country’s oldest and the first septuagenarian president. In comparison, President Aquino is the youngest president to be elected who looks like a septuagenarian.

1MVInquirer
Choices
President-elect Rodrigo Duterte is planning to appoint Mark Villar, son of real estate magnate and former senator Manuel Villar, as DPWH secretary. In other news, Imelda Marcos is hoping to be appointed as head of the PCGG and Kim Wong expects to be offered the chairmanship of the Anti-Money Laundering Council.

Annabelle
Loquacious talent manager Annabelle Rama, who is friends with President-elect Rodrigo Duterte, was one of hundreds of well-wishers who visited Mayor Digong in Davao City last week. Rama says she is not interested in any government post. To which, “any government post” replied, “The feeling is mutual.”

Population
According to the Philippine Statistics Authority, there are now 100.9 million Filipinos. If you’re still single, what’s your excuse?
——————————————————————————————————————————
“The ignorance of one voter in a democracy impairs the security of all.”
~John F. Kennedy

Briefly Noted
Jake Joson a.k.a. Pambansang Anino was present during Pacquiao’s proclamation as senator
1JakeJoson

Sound Bites: Manny Pacquiao
On capital punishment
“Biblical ang death penalty. Basahin nila sa Romans 13 nandoon ‘yan, pabor ako diyan.”
~Sen. Manny Pacquiao

On attending Senate sessions and avoiding absences
“As a Christian, hindi yata tama ang mangako ka. Gagawin natin lahat ng ating makakaya.”

SMH.

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: Pacquiao: Noel Celis, AFP/Getty Images; Mark Villar: Inquirer.net; De Lima: @DWIZ882; Jake Joson: Rappler]

%d bloggers like this: