VOTE!

LET US bow our heads and offer a short prayer for the midterm elections.

“Give us this day our daily bread
And forgive us our sins
As we forgive our politicians
Amen.”

MONDAY, May 13 is Election Day. I can’t wait to NOT vote for certain candidates.

In no particular order, my top 3 choices for senator are Haydee Yorac, Winnie Monsod, and Oscar Orbos.

If the 2013 elections become successful, Chairman Sixto Brillantes Jr. deserves no less than three episodes on ‘Maaalaala Mo Kaya.’

05-brillCampaign Over
On Saturday, 11:59PM, the election campaign ended. Torture over!

Campaigning for Monday’s polls has ended. A relieved FPJ was like, “Can I rest now?”

Forty
Senatorial candidate Nancy Binay turned 40 on Sunday, May 12. As a birthday gift to herself, she took a leave from her OJT.

UNA candidate Nancy Binay is expected to win a Senate seat. The 40-year-old mother couldn’t hide her excitement. Finally, she’s got something to write under the heading “Achievements” on her resumé.

Solid
President Aquino is hoping that the electorate will vote for the 12 senatorial candidates of Team PNoy. How can you expect the people to go 12-0 when your candidates themselves won’t?

Surveys
An SWS study showed 74 percent of respondents considered election surveys as “good.” The rest were UNA candidates.

An SWS study showed nearly 3 in 4 Filipinos considered election surveys as “good.” The three were SWS employees.

05-samPAno ang naging takbo ng usapan ng dalawang lalaking nagbubulungan?

A: “Sa tingin mo Isko papayag si Sexy kung iimbitahan ko mamayang gabi?”
“Itinatanong pa ba ‘yan Mr. President? Ikaw pa? Walang makatatanggi sa ‘yo!”

B: “Parang walang pwet.”
“Ok lang ‘yon sir! Sexy pa rin!”

C: “Kung ako sa ‘yo, popormahan ko ‘yan after ng kampanya.”
“Sir naman! Good boy ako. Ikaw na lang.”

D: “Itim ang panty ‘no?”
“Ssssh. Huwag kang maingay sir! Nasa likod ko si Nancy. Baka isipin no’n siya ang pinag-uusapan natin.”

05-JinggJVAno ang sinasabi ng lalaking naka-asul sa lalaking nakangiti?

A: “Ang ganda ng ngiti mo ah. Bakit? Nanalo ka na ba?!”
B: “Bro, pengeng number ni Sam Pinto. Meron ka raw eh.”
C: “Parang may kamukha kang reporter sa anggulong ‘yan. Alam ko na! Si JP Soriano ng GMA News!”
D: “Psst! Alam kong nakita mo ako. iacknowledge mo naman ako kahit kaplastikan lang! Nakakahiya sa mga tao. Hoy!”

05-LorenAlanAno ang sinasabi ng lalaking nakapula sa kanyang katabing kandidato habang nagsasalita si Loren Legarda?

A: “Alam mo ba kung ilang US properties ang ‘di n’yan idineklara sa kanyang SALN?”
B: “Atin-atin lang ‘to. Pinaplastik ko lang siya nang makipagkamay ako kanina. Nahiya lang ako kay Presidente.”
C: “Ang lakas naman ng loob ng katabi mo! Sleeveless kung sleeveless!”
D: “Huwag kang lilingon huh. Simplehan mo lang. Totoo kaya ang tsismis na bading ‘yong nasa likod mo?”

[Photos: Reuters/Interaksyon/Philippine Daily Inquirer]

In Other News
Some 78,000 people have applied to go on a one-way trip to Mars. The worst thing about those 78,000 applicants? No one among them was a member of our Congress. Sayang!

Reports say the journey to the Red Planet would take at least six months. It’s like traveling on Edsa during rush hour.
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“It turns out horrendous when you choose the wrong options.”
~ Jaachynma N.E. Agu

Sound Bites
“Don’t you want the Philippines to have a president who is from Taguig?”
~Alan Peter Cayetano campaigning in his turf


Go out and vote! Gamitin ang utak sa pagboto!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.