SEASON’S GREETINGS

villarlren Villar’s VP?
Without naming names, senatorial aspirant Adel Tamano of the Nacionalista Party says Sen. Manuel Villar Jr.’s running mate possesses the “3M” qualities: “maganda,” “matalino,” and “maka-kalikasan.” Vice presidential aspirant Loren Legarda who felt alluded to, said her presidential running mate also possessed the “3M” qualities: “masipag,” “matiyaga” and “malapit nang magpanic kapag ‘di pa ako nag-yes sa kanyang offer.”

Gibo’s VP
The ruling Lakas-Kampi-CMD Party has reportedly given up efforts to lure Sen. Loren Legarda into teaming up with Defense Sec. Gilbert Teodoro. With this development, the ruling coalition’s choice for vice president is now down to two: “John” and “Jane Doe.”

binay Binay’s Birthday
Birthday boy Jejomar Binay is celebrating his 67th birthday on November 11. Political observers doubt though if he’s really 67 years old… because he’s been mayor of Makati City for like half a century.

Binay’s Birthday II
Last Monday, November 9, Makati City Mayor Jejomar Binay and his wife, former Makati City mayor Dr. Elenita Binay hosted a star-studded joint birthday party at the A. Venue Mall in Makati City. Opposition stalwarts and supporters were all present… except for Sen. Chiz Escudero who has made himself clear that he no longer believes in parties.

Binay’s Birthday III
Braving the dangerous traffic and the menacing stare of a Makati traffic enforcer, I personally took a photo of this eye-catching tarpaulin at the corner of Makati Avenue and JP Rizal St. in Makati City around 4pm, Tuesday.
10112009505
Sampung Katanungang Naglaro sa Aking Isipan Matapos Kong Masilayan ang Tarpaulin ni Jose De Venecia III Para Kay Makati City Mayor Jejomar Cabauatan Binay, Birthday Boy

Una: Bakit kailangang idaan sa tarpaulin ang pagbati?

Pangalawa: Hindi ba niya alam ang cellphone number o landline ni Mayor Binay upang mabati niya ito ng personal?

Pangatlo: Bakit sa panulukan pa ng JP Rizal St. at Makati Avenue inilagay ang tarpaulin gayong pwede naman itong isabit sa harap ng bahay ng mga Binay o kaya ay sa city hall upang mas madaling makita ng may kaarawan?

Pang-apat: Kailangan ba talagang may larawan pa ni Joey De Venecia sa tarpaulin?

Panglima: Hindi pa ba siya kilala ni Mayor Binay kaya’t kinailangan pang i-imprenta ang kanyang mukha?

Pang-anim: Titigan ang larawan at sagutin: Ano ang kahalagahan o kaugnayan ng website ni Joey De Venecia sa kaarawan ni Mayor Binay?

Pampito: Kung nabasa ni Mayor Binay ang naturang pagbati, sa palagay n’yo ba ay magpapagawa din ito ng tarpaulin upang iparating ang mensaheng ito: “Maraming salamat sa iyong pagbati Joey De Venecia III! From Makati City Mayor Jejomar Binay http://www.makati.gov.ph” Kung oo, saang panulukan naman kaya niya isasabit ang tarpaulin?

Pangwalo: Bakit parang galit na galit ako sa naturang tarpaulin? Ikaw, anong nararamdaman mo?

Pangsiyam: Bakit kailangan ko pang magtanong gayong alam ko na naman ang sagot?

At pansampu: Ilang daang “Joey De Venecia III” pa kaya sa iba’t ibang panig ng bansa ang magsasabit ng tarpaulin sa mga lansangan, panulukan, gusali, at poste ng kuryente bago dumating ang halalan?

miriam_puno Santiago vs. Puno
Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago asked the Senate to file plunder charges against former DPWH Road Board Executive Director Rodolfo ‘Dodie’ Puno for the alleged misuse of some P60.5 billion in road users’ tax. Criticizing Puno’s lavish lifestyle, Santiago also threatened to reveal the names of his mistresses and girlfriends… to which Tonyboy Cojuangco said, “That is not a good idea.”

oil_freeze Petroleum Shortage?
Echoing the oil firms’ opposition to the government-imposed fuel price freeze in Luzon, the honorable Angelo Reyes says the country’s inventory of imported petroleum products is just enough for 13 days. But that’s still good news considering the fact that the government has no energy secretary for more than two years now.

alvin flores gang Alvin Flores Gang
Remember last week’s raid on the suspected hideout of the notorious Alvin Flores Gang in Bulacan? The raid yielded high-powered guns and ammunitions, grenade launchers, two-way radios, and Alvin Flores’ two used faces.

Alvin Flores Gang II
The doctor who performed cosmetic surgery on Alvin Flores revealed that the notorious gang leader was gay and wanted to look like BB Gandanghari. The surgeon also confirmed a gang member’s revelation that the Rolex heist in Greenbelt was a mistake. Flores’ original target was L’Oréal.
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“Leadership has been defined as the ability to hide your panic from others.”
~Anonymous

Just Asking
Philippine Daily Inquirer’s Conrado De Quiros originated it.
Other columnists concurred.
The Liberal Party adopted it.
“The 2010 election is a fight between good and evil,” i.e. Noynoy and the Liberals, the good side; GMA and her allies, the evil side.
Over the weekend, several allies of GMA defected to the Liberal Party, and more are expected to jump ship as the deadline for the filing of the certificates of candidacy nears. Question: Does the shift in allegiance automatically make the turncoats “good,’ or do they remain evil?

Just So You Know
A radio serial drama on the life, love, and rise to fame of MMDA Chairman Bayani Fernando is being aired on DZRH 666kHz. The 14-part series is called “Ang Manggagawa.” And this just in! Sen. Chiz Escudero has expressed interest in serializing his life story too. The tentative title, “Ang Mang-nga-ngawa!”

Light Bites
Q: Why did Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago reject the offer of President Arroyo to become DENR secretary?
A: Galit siya sa mga PUNO.

Personal
If you have original “political” images similar to that JDVIII photo above, you may email them to The Professional Heckler: professionalheckler@yahoo.com Pictures taken using cellular phones are just fine. Chosen photos will be used in future blog posts. Senders will be acknowledged. Thank you so much.

Lastly, for featuring yet again this blog on ANC’s Strictly Politics, thank you so much Ms. Pia Hontiveros. Catch her show every Tuesday, 8:00 to 9:00 PM on the ABS-CBN News Channel.

SURVEYS

NOYNOYsws
SWS Survey
The latest Social Weather Stations survey showed that a whopping 60 percent of Filipinos wanted Sen. Noynoy Aquino to succeed President Arroyo in 2010. Again, that’s 60 percent! In a related story, a global study has revealed that Filipinos are the most sympathetic people in the world.

SWS Survey II
According to the latest SWS survey, 60 percent of Filipinos wanted Sen. Noynoy Aquino to replace President Arroyo in Malacañang next year. An even higher 80 percent wanted Joshua Aquino to replace Mikey Arroyo in Malacañang next year.

SWS Survey III
Liberal Party’s Noynoy Aquino got an uber-impressive 60 percent rating in the latest SWS survey. Noynoy is so popular, he actually placed second to Obama in the Nobel Peace Prize balloting.

SWS Survey IV
Sen. Noynoy Aquino obtained a ginormous 60 percent rating in the latest SWS survey. Again, that’s a whopping 60 percent! To give you an idea how much 60 percent is, think of the Op-Ed section of the Philippine Daily Inquirer. Of that section’s five regular weekday columnists, only Belinda Olivares-Cunanan and Neal Cruz won’t vote for Noynoy. That’s what 60 percent is!

SWS Survey V
Asked by the SWS to name leaders who should replace President Arroyo in 2010, 5 percent of the respondents picked Sen. Loren Legarda while 4 percent chose Defense Sec. Gilbert Teodoro. Six percent actually answered, “I don’t know.” To at least outrank Legarda, Teodoro is now locating that “6 percent” so he could introduce himself.

Top 3 Questions Asked In the Latest SWS Survey Topped By Sen. Noynoy Aquino

No. 1: Anak siya ng isang dating pangulo at ng isang bayani. Sino ang iboboto mo sa pagkapangulo sa 2010?
A: Manny Villar
B. Joseph Estrada
C. Gilbert Teodoro
D: Wala sa A, B, and C. Malamang nasa E.
E. Oo nga. Nandito nga! Noynoy Aquino! Now na!

No. 2: Ayaw ng Pilipino sa mandarambong. Ayaw ng Pilipino sa nandodoble ng budget sa road project. Ayaw ng Pilipino sa bata ni Gloria. At ayaw ng Pilipino sa batang trapo. Sino ang nag-iisang kapatid na lalaki ng TV host na si Kris Aquino?
A: Boy Abunda
B: Bambi Fuentes
C: Tsokoleit
D. Jobert Sucaldito
E. Noynoy Aquino

No. 3: Gusto mo bang maging First Lady ang nasa larawan? Kung oo, sino ang dapat mong iboto sa 2010?
shalaninoy
A: Feeling ko si Congresswoman Cynthia Aquilar-Villar ang nasa larawan. Siyempre, si Mr. Sipag at Tiyaga ang choice ko.
B: Ito ang larawan ni former Sen. Loi Estrada bago ang botched cosmetic procedure. Kaya ang iboboto ko ay si Erap.
C: Kilala ko siya! ‘Yan ang former Nikki Prieto na ngayon ay kongresista at maybahay ng iboboto kong pangulo sa 2010, si Secretary Gibo Teodoro.
D: Hoy, A, B, at C: ang dami n’yong daldal! Ang tatanga naman ng sagot n’yo! Si Cristine Flores ‘yan na wife ng ating magiging presidente sa 2010… si Chiz Escudero!
E. Siya si Valenzuela City Councilor Shalani Soledad – ang babaeng makakakuha ng pwestong dating inasam at pinangarap ng isang lady broadcaster. Noynoy Aquino for president!

IN OTHER NEWS…
gmaHOTT GMA is Hot!
A foreign blog listed the 172 “hottest heads of state” and our very own president, Madam Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo placed 9th. President Arroyo is so hot… her 20-year-old breast implants melted!

GMA is Hot! II
According to a foreign blog, President Arroyo is the 9th hottest among 172 heads of state! The president is so hot, militants are blaming her for climate change.

GMA is Hot! III
Of the 172 “hottest heads of state” listed in a foreign blog, President Arroyo impressively ranked 9th! The president is so hot, even the First Gentleman refuses to touch her.

GMA is Hot! IV
According to a blog, President Arroyo is the 9th “hottest head of state.” The president is so hot… when she visited hell recently, she thought it was winter season there.

GMA is Hot! V
A foreign blog listed the 172 “hottest heads of state” and our very own president, Madam Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo was in 9th place. But the ranking is expected to change… as soon as Noynoy Aquino officially declares his bid for the title.

mar_k Mar & Korina’s Wedding
It’s a go for the wedding of Sen. Mar Roxas and Korina Sanchez on October 27. As I have mentioned before, since Mar has given way to Noynoy, the wedding coordinator will no longer set up a ‘presidential’ table. The lavish event has also been scaled down in deference to the nation’s recent catastrophic typhoons. The only unchanged plan is the traditional “something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue.” In fact, the bride didn’t even have to exert effort to complete all four. Everything’s in her face.

SPIDER Rare Find
Biologists have found the world’s first known vegetarian spider in Central America. Amazing! But that’s nothing compared to the world’s first “bitch” that made the list of the 10 “hottest heads of state.”

Newspaper Survey
According to the latest Nielsen Media Index study for the first half of 2009, the Philippine Daily Inquirer was the choice of 48 percent of Filipinos in National Urban Philippines. But the study is being questioned by the Philippine Star because the remaining 52 percent chose Noynoy Aquino.
________
“Popularity is the easiest thing in the world to gain and it is the hardest thing to hold.”
~Will Rogers

Survey Says…
I am just curious, and please don’t lie: how young are you?
12 – 18 years old: 4%
19 – 30 years old: 47%
31 – 45 years old: 31%
45 – Above: 19%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

LOYALTY

enrile Enrile on Estrada
Before Senator Lacson delivered Part 2 of his privilege speech on former president Joseph Estrada, Senate President Juan Ponce Enrile took the floor to defend his good friend Erap, and extolled the ousted president’s sincerity, honesty, loyalty, and kindness. As Enrile was heaping praise after praise on Erap, people started wondering: Was he delivering a privilege speech or a eulogy?

Villar and Willie
Nacionalista Party spokesmen Gilbert Remulla and Atty. Adel Tamano flatly denied that Sen. Manny Villar has asked TV host Willie Revillame to be his running mate. The spokesmen described the issue as a “baseless rumor.” Observers described the denial as “damage control.”

Kris on Willie
Kris Aquino advised Willie Revillame to consider running first for mayor of Quezon City where he is registered before aspiring for a Senate seat… to which QC residents said, “Eh gusto ‘nung tao na mag-Senado eh, ba’t mo itutulak sa ‘min?”

boya Boy Picks Noy
Kris Aquino has confirmed that Boy Abunda, a known supporter of presidential aspirant Manny Villar, has shifted his allegiance to Noynoy Aquino. Just seconds after Kris made the confirmation on national TV, Senator Villar received this text message: “I know how you feel. I can relate. – Dr. Vicki Belo”

Boy Picks Noy II
A long time supporter of Sen. Manny Villar, talent manager Boy Abunda has reportedly shifted his allegiance to Sen. Noynoy Aquino. The multi-awarded TV host declined to elaborate on his decision but issued this brief statement to the press: “If you want a First Lady who looks like Cynthia Villar, you go vote for Manny. But if you want a First Lady who looks like Shalani Soledad, you go vote for Noynoy.”

noykrisss Kris & Noynoy
Kris Aquino says one-third of the revenues from her pending endorsements will go to Josh, one-third will go to Baby James, and one-third will go to Noynoy’s campaign kitty. Sought for comment on his wife’s statement, cager James Yap said, “Hindi ko nga po alam kung bakit ako, wala. ‘Tapos may one-third ang kay Kuya ‘Noy na pusa.”

argee Belo Sues Lawyer
Cosmetic expert Vicki Belo has sued lawyer Argee Guevarra for libel after he allegedly called her unflattering names like “Reyna ng Kaplastikan” and “Reyna ng Kapalpakan” on the social networking site Facebook. Belo is currently in a hospital though… because when she heard about the progressive lawyer’s Facebook attacks, she got so incensed, her nose started to combust.

________
“Loyalty is a fine quality, but in excess it fills political graveyards.”
~ Neil Kinnock

FIGHTERS

notter Notter Is Free
International Committee of the Red Cross member Andreas Notter is finally free. It just goes to show that good things do happen when the hostage prays, the military pursues, and Richard Gordon shuts the f*ck up.

flash Twin Victories!
Nonito Donaire and Brian Viloria scored convincing victories in their respective bouts Sunday. GMA 7 and Solar Sports aired a super delayed telecast of the event but boxing-obsessed fans still waited to see both fights. To give you an idea how obsessed have we become with boxing… yesterday… at the Senate, Manny Villar and Ping Lacson tried to knock each other out.

villarlacxon Being probed by Sen. Panfilo Lacson’s ethics committee on the alleged C5 road double funding, Sen. Manuel Villar delivered a fiery and emotional privilege speech yesterday. He took a swipe at Lacson’s alleged links to murders; Miguel Zubiri’s alleged cheating in the elections; Jamby Madrigal’s questionable ethics, and Mar Roxas’ “girlfriend na bira nang bira.” Later in the evening, Villar’s staff discovered that the senator inadvertently read the draft of a speech intended for next year’s “miting de avance.”

marko Mar and Korina
Did you hear the news? Sen. Mar Roxas reportedly introduced Korina Sanchez to his relatives on his mother’s side during a recent reunion of the filthy-rich Araneta clan in Bago City, Negros Occidental. It marked the first time in his political career that Roxas formally introduced to close family members… a potential election endorser.

Mar Roxas told the press, “Korina is so much a part of my life and so much a part of my heart, it’s only natural for her to be here also.” Of course, it was just coincidence that all these things are happening months before his biggest political battle.

Something awkward happened when Mar and Korina attended the Aranetas’ reunion in Negros the other day. When Roxas was told that he must introduce Korina to some 1,200 members of the Araneta family, he yelled, “Put*ng inaaa… ang dami naman!”

Something more awkward happened at the Aranetas’ reunion in Negros recently when a research team sent by SWS conducted a survey on the 1,200 family members. When the results were tallied, Mar Roxas placed sixth!

But the most awkward moment actually happened last year when Mar introduced himself to Korina’s relatives. Mar said, “Good evening everyone. From the beautiful city of Bago, Negros Occidental, I am Manuel Roxas II and I believe in the saying ‘If there’s a wheel, there’s a pedicab!’ I thank you!”

persida2 The PAO Chief
Talking about introductions, remember PAO Chief Atty. Persida Rueda-Acosta? When she heard the news that Ted Failon’s wife was shot, she rushed to Ted’s house and said, “Hi I am Attorney Acosta of PAO. I am not making promises but I will try my best to convince the president to grant you a pardon… just in case.”

I am sure you know Atty. Persida Rueda-Acosta of the Public Attorneys Office. She’s the one who fought for the release of Ninoy Aquino’s murderers. She was also photographed with priest killer Roberto Manero when the latter was released a few years back. Reports say Acosta cried when Justice Sec. Raul Gonzales called her “crazy” following her “legal counseling” of Ted Failon. Asked if Gonzales’ allegation was true, Acosta who was then crying, smiled… and then cried again, and then smiled.

rama2 Annabelle, Again
Annabelle Rama reportedly watched Sunday’s “The Flash and the Furious” boxing event. After watching both fights, Rama told the press, “Dong, ridi na ko! Iharap mo sa ‘kin sina Joanne Maglipon at Wilma Galvante dong.”

Breaking News!
It’s official! Annabelle Rama has replaced Kris Aquino as the Filipinos’ favorite pastime.

__________
“Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling the truth to other people.”
~Spencer Johnson

CHICKEN CROSSING (2009 EDITION)

THEY MADE guesses in 2007. They gave their two cents’ worth in 2008. This year, they will again try to answer the age-old question: “Why did the chicken cross the road?”

Here’s why according to some local political personalities, government officials, and celebrities:

1: Joseph Estrada: “Binantaan ko ang manok. Kapag hindi kayo nagkaisa ng iyong mga sisiw sa pagtawid… ako na mismo ang tatawid at iiwan ko kayo sa kabilang side ng kalsada.”

2: Sen. Manuel Villar: “What road? C5 or Carlos P. Garcia Avenue?”

3: Sen. Panfilo Lacson: “I absolutely had nothing to do with it. My conscience is clear.”

4: Sen. Manuel Villar 2: “What chicken?! Itik ‘yon!”

5: VP Noli De Castro: “Bakit ka lilipad pa kung kaya namang maglakad na?

6: Cong. Jose De Venecia: “I will not testify even if the Senate conducts a probe on that matter. I’ve already corroborated the statement of my son who saw the chicken when it crossed the road.”

7: Sen. Mar Roxas: “Put*ang inaaaaaa! Ano bang tanong ‘yan?! Paanong ‘di maglalakad ‘yon eh hindi naman siya marunong sumakay sa padyak?!”

8: First Gentleman Mike Arroyo: “I don’t care about the chicken. I am more concerned about the road. I think it needs repair. When is the bidding?”

9: Satur Ocampo: “Bilang protesta sa pang-aabuso sa karapatang pang-hayop ng mga multinasyonal at dayuhang korporasyong katulad ng KFC, Texas Chicken, Kenny Rogers, at McDonald’s.”

10: Ted Failon: “The chicken was having some problems. It tried to commit suicide by crossing that very dangerous road.”

11: Quezon City Police: “We’re not sure yet if it crossed the road or not. The path where it allegedly crossed was apparently cleaned up thereby contaminating the evidence.”

12: ABS-CBN: “Let us respect the privacy of the chicken.”

13: DOJ Sec. Raul Gonzales: “That chicken is crazy!”

14: Sen. Richard Gordon: “I was able to talk to someone from the other side of the road and he confirmed that they’re holding the chicken hostage. There’s proof of life.”

15: Defense Sec. Gilbert Teodoro:The good senator is endangering the life of the chicken. He should let the task force do the talking.”

16: Bro. Eddie Villanueva: “Jeremiah Chapter 9, Verse 10: I will weep for the mountains and wail for the desert pastures. For they are desolate and empty of life; the lowing of cattle is heard no more; the birds and wild animals all have fled.”

17: HK Magazine columnist Chip Tsao: “You’re a nation of chickens!”

18: Public Attorneys Office Chief Persida Rueda-Acosta: “Why not? It has served its minimum sentence. Allow it to walk free!”

19: Subic rape victim Suzette “Nicole” Nicolas: “To marry!”

20: Alabang Boys: “To parteE!”

21: Pampanga Gov. Ed Panlilio: “To quarry!”

22: DOJ State Prosecutor John Resado: “I will answer that question only if you deposit 1.6 million pesos to my BDO account.”

23: Fashion designer Boyet Fajardo: “Mga leche kayo! Hindi n’yo ako kilala? Ako si Boyet Fajardo! Fashion designer ako, hindi sabungero! At ‘yang put*ng-inang manok na ‘yan ay walang kuwentang hayop!”

24: Manny Pacquiao: “ABS-CBN lawyers made the chicken do it.”

25: Annabelle Rama:Ang kapal ng mukha ng manok na ‘yan. Matapos kong bigyan ng patuka, siniraan pa ako sa mga alaga kong sisiw! Idedemanda ko siya dong! At sasampal-sampalin ko pa ‘pag nakita ko! Sinimulan n’ya ‘yan… tatapusin ko!”

26: Wilma Galvante: “I helped the chicken cross the road yes, but I categorically deny asking for eggs in return. Hindi kami nasusuhulan dito.”

27: Dr. Hayden Kho: “I am not exactly sure why but I do have proof that the chicken crossed the road. I videotaped it secretly.”

28: Dr. Vicki Belo: “I told the chicken: if you want to look like Piolo Pascual or Dingdong Dantes, stay with Belo. But if you want to look like Boy Abunda, go to other side of the road.”

29: Madam Auring: “Nakikita ko… nararamdaman ko… gaganda ang buhay ng chicken this year. Mangingitlog pa siya nang marami.”

The next day…

Tabloid headline: “Manok… nasagasaan, patay!”

And due to insistent public demand, I’d like to belatedly add another answer to the question: “Why did the chicken cross the road?”

30: Sen. Lito Lapid: “All of the above!”

Have a productive week ahead!

Survey Says…
Who’s got the worst TV ad?
All of them were bad: 63%
Roxas: 27%
Villar: 6%
Lacson: 4%

We have a new survey question. Please vote now.

DARK NIGHT

Dato Arroyo’s Turf
In case you didn’t know, Camarines Sur Rep. Luis Villafuerte has filed a bill aimed at creating another legislative district in Camarines Sur to accommodate the president’s son Dato Arroyo. And next year, Congress will create another country to accommodate the outgoing president.

earthhour Earth Hour
Last night, the country was plunged into darkness for the 2nd worldwide Earth Hour, a global campaign to highlight the threats of climate change. The event lasted for only an hour. If it lasted longer, the threats of climate change would be no match to the threats of robbers, holduppers and snatchers in the metro.

In observance of the second global Earth Hour, lights were switched off last night in at least 647 cities and municipalities in the country. But that figure is expected to go higher next year… once Congress creates Dato Arroyo’s new district in Bicol.

I heard that Manny Pacquiao himself observed Earth Hour. In fact, even before last night, Pacquiao has been switching here and there.

Then there’s the controversial senator Panfilo Lacson. When he was told about Earth Hour, he said, “Kailangang patayin ang mga ilaw for one hour?!?!? Papatayin lang pala eh. Sanay ako diyan!”

Reports say 10 million Filipinos switched off their lights last night. The economy is so bad, one-third of them… permanently.

earthhour3ayala Something weird happened during last night’s observance of Earth Hour in Makati City. Several minutes before the ceremonial switch off at Tower One on Ayala Avenue, it suddenly went dark. Organizers thought someone switched off the lights prematurely… until they realized – the mayor just arrived.

Talking about weird… it turned out that Sen. Mar Roxas wasn’t aware of the Earth Hour campaign. He was actually in the shower when Korina turned off the main switch in the house. And then he yelled, “ Put*ng-inaaaaaa, sinong pumatay ng ilaw?! ‘Di pa ko tapos!”

PHILIPPINES  EARTH HOUR Millions of people around the world joined last night’s observance of Earth Hour. Fashion designer Boyet Fajardo was one of them. In fact, he instructed all his employees to participate… or else, he’ll get them fired.

Last night’s Earth Hour event was a huge hit in the Philippines. It was so successful, Meralco is now warning of “Earth Hours” if the Energy Regulatory Commission rejects its petition for a power rate hike.

PHILIPPINES  EARTH HOUR Local organizers lauded Filipinos for observing Earth Hour last night. The “lights out” event was so successful, one of Joseph Estrada’s mistresses was able to sneak past Loi Ejercito.

Remember the good-looking “Alabang Boys” who are detained at the PDEA headquarters? When the lights were switched back on after the Earth Hour, their burly inmates had a huge smile on their faces.

eddie_v Bro. Eddie’s New Party
Did you hear the news? Defeated presidential candidate and Jesus Is Lord leader Bro. Eddie Villanueva has launched a new party in preparation for his 2010 presidential bid. It’s called… the Try Again Party.

Defeated presidential candidate and Jesus Is Lord Movement leader Bro. Eddie Villanueva has launched a new movement for a renewed bid at the presidency in 2010. Bangon Pilipinas Movement is gone but his son’s Cibac party list group is still active. I don’t know if you’re counting but Villanueva has been launching groups and movements since he went political. In fact, the number of groups and movements he has formed has eclipsed the number of votes he received in 2004.

This Just In!
Sen. Panfilo Lacson has launched a new party. It’s called “Bang! Pilipinas.”

Sen. Mar Roxas has also launched a new party. It’s called “Put*ang Ina… Babangon Pa Ba ang Pilipinas?!”

And yes, Sen. Loren Legarda has just launched a new party. It’s called “She Bangs Pilipinas.”

Sen. Manuel Villar has launched a new party too! It’s called “Bangon Pilipinas! Bangon Pilipinas!” Notice the double entry?

Guess what! Even non-presidential aspirant Miriam Defensor-Santiago is launching a new party. It’s called “Hibang Pilipinas!”

But the most surprising move yet? DOJ prosecutors have pooled their resources to launch their respective political career. They have formed a new party called, “Bangag Pilipinas!”

Not Running
Jinggoy Estrada says he will not run for vice president in 2010. Good news Pilipinas!

cheap_chinese4 A Brewing Controversy
A reader of this blog sent the link to a column that could trigger a heated exchange between Filipinos and Chinese. But around 4pm, Monday, it was removed by the website. You can still read the article here though. I can’t wait for the Leftists’, especially Joma Sison’s minions’ reaction. Because I’m sure, if the writer was either Briton or American, they’ll be all over the news now condemning him, and trumpeting the Reds’ “nationalism.” Let’s see if they’ve got the balls to denounce the bigotry of their fellow Communist.

Survey Says
Do you think Lacson had a hand in Bubby Dacer’s murder?
Results:
Yes: 76%
Maybe: 17%
No: 7%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.
______________
“The activist is not the man who says the river is dirty. The activist is the man who cleans up the river.” ~Ross Perot

NA COUP HA SA TIYAGA

The Coup
Sen. Manuel Villar has been ousted as Senate president and Sen. Juan Ponce Enrile was installed as his replacement. Sen. Gringo Honasan swore in Enrile to his new position. After 22 years, the duo has finally staged their first ever successful coup.

Juan Ponce Enrile is the new Senate president. In his acceptance speech, the 84-year-old lawmaker talked about the Senate’s advocacies, ambitious projects, and a bright future as an independent institution – words that were truly inspiring to hear… especially from someone who may no longer be there when “future” happens.

The Philippine Daily Inquirer identified the members of the core group that strenuously worked for Villar’s ouster: Loren Legarda, Panfilo Lacson, Mar Roxas, and Jamby Madrigal. However, even if you combined their best efforts, much of the credit should still go to Korina Sanchez.

Juan Ponce Enrile is the new Senate president. In his acceptance speech, he thanked everyone who helped him (snatch the third highest post in the land) especially Loren Legarda, Mar Roxas, Panfilo Lacson, Jamby Madrigal, and CP Garcia Avenue.

Another Inquirer report quoted an administration senator as saying Sen. Edgardo Angara plotted against Villar to advance the vice presidential bid of Loren Legarda who could become Joseph Estrada’s running mate if he decided to run. And we all thought the “affair” was over.

Administration senators who voted to oust Villar included Honasan, Richard Gordon, Edgardo Angara, Ramon “Bong” Revilla Jr., and Juan Miguel Zubiri. Lito Lapid who couldn’t understand what was happening also voted “Yes” to Villar’s ouster but only because he had a hard time spelling “Abstain.”

Sen. Manuel Villar said he was saddened and surprised by Jinggoy Estrada’s vote. He was even more surprised when the Senate allowed Lito Lapid to vote.

In a statement released following his ouster, Sen. Manuel Villar said he would now concentrate on being a fiscalizer, to which a curious Lito Lapid said, “So, may negosyo rin siyang abono?”

Tuesday’s headline of The Manila Standard Today reads: “Enrile two heartbeats away from the presidency.” When Noli De Castro saw this he said, “So kung ako, one heartbeat, kawawa naman si Pangulong Arroyo, zero heartbeat.”

In Other News…
Press Secretary Jesus Dureza said President Arroyo on Tuesday got a pre-dawn call from US President-elect Barack Obama. Obama reportedly assured Arroyo that good relations and cooperation between the US and the Philippines would continue… in her dreams.

US President-elect Barack Obama phoned President Arroyo on Tuesday at around 3:17 in the morning. Yup, that was a pre-dawn call. Apparently, Obama was hoping nobody would answer.

Malacañang said President Arroyo received a pre-dawn call from US President-elect Barack Obama. Obama praised Arroyo for being honest, hardworking, incorruptible, principled, morally upright, and ethical. And then she woke up.

Pulse Asia Survey
Vice President Noli De Castro topped the latest survey on presidential aspirants conducted by Pulse Asia. De Castro got 18 percent, followed by Manuel Villar and Joseph Estrada, 17 percent; Francis Escudero, 15 percent; Loren Legarda, 13 percent and Panfilo Lacson, 7 percent. With Mar Roxas placing a distant seventh, other presidentiables are hoping to avoid a clash with DZMM’s Korina Sanchez.
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We have to distrust each other. It is our only defence against betrayal.
~Tennessee Williams

OF DIVAS & DIVOS

Obama and Nine World Leaders
President-elect Barack Obama spoke by telephone with the leaders of nine US allies to express thanks for their messages of congratulations. He returned the calls to the leaders of Australia, Britain, Canada, France, Germany, Israel, Japan, Mexico and South Korea. Obama actually considered returning the call of President Arroyo but decided to postpone it… until such time his intelligence adviser has given him the assurance his call won’t be wiretapped.

Miriam’s Failed ICJ Seat Bid
After being edged out by the candidate from the African nation of Somalia, Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago lost her bid for a seat in the International Court of Justice (ICJ). Reporters tried to get Santiago’s reaction but her staff said she was busy doing a background check on the Somalian candidate… whose intense ICJ campaign she suspected of having been run by DILG Sec. Ronaldo Puno.

Bolante Update
The spokeswoman of St. Luke’s Medical Center said former agriculture undersecretary Jocjoc Bolante was diagnosed with a sleeping disorder and must stay in the hospital for further tests. Asked about the possible cause of the disorder, she replied, “severe exhaustion of the conscience.”

The spokeswoman of St. Luke’s Medical Center said former agriculture undersecretary Jocjoc Bolante was diagnosed with a sleeping disorder. Now that’s really bad. Noon, ‘yong mga dating kaibigan lang ang ayaw dumalaw sa kanya. Ngayon naman, pati antok ayaw siyang dalawin.


CNN’s New Technology
Remember the holographic technology used by CNN in its election coverage last week? A reporter who was actually in Chicago was made to look as if she was right inside the network’s Manhattan studio. Amazing! That’s the same technology being used now by St. Luke’s Medical Center to make it appear Jocjoc Bolante’s still there.

SWS Survey
The third quarter survey conducted by the Social Weather Stations showed that Vice President Noli De Castro (29%) was still the top pick of Filipinos to replace President Arroyo in 2010. Senate President Manuel Villar (28%) came in close second, and Sen. Loren Legarda (26%) placed third. Cong. Jose De Venecia got one percent… which probably explains why he spent two whole days at the cemetery on November 1 & 2. He visited his political career.

Mass in Malacañang
Shortly before midnight on Friday, President Arroyo heard mass in Malacañang celebrated by a bishop from Quezon, and organized by NGO leader Evelyn Kilayko amid rumors of a destabilization plot. Kilayko says she received a text message saying Jose De Venecia is leading the plot. Apparently, Kilayko is not used to receiving text jokes.

ABS-CBN Lets Go of Luchi
ABS-CBN confirmed the resignation of Luchi Cruz-Valdez, vice-president for news production & current affairs after a bitter dispute with fellow news executive Maria Ressa. ABS-CBN accepted her resignation and hailed her contribution to the organization, and to the network’s cost-cutting measures.

With the resignation of Luchi Cruz-Valdez, the network’s so-called group of “tres marias” aka “three divas” has officially been dissolved. The remaining duo of Maria Ressa and Charie Villa will soon be known as “dos lesbos.”

Bayani Wins TV Tilt
MMDA Chairman Bayani Fernando has been declared champion of GMA 7’s talent search Celebrity Duets Season 2. Residents of Marikina City are rejoicing… mainly because Mayor Marides Fernando will now stop soliciting text votes for her husband.

Personal
History has repeated itself. I left (and probably lost) my phone in a taxicab Sunday noon. Yup, that’s the same phone i lost in a cab five weeks ago but was found and returned by a UP stude. This time, I think whoever found it has no intention of giving it back to me. Sigh. I’ve got a new phone though.
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Sometimes it is better to lose and do the right thing than to win and do the wrong thing.
–Tony Blair

LAST WORDS

BEFORE HE TOOK his last breath, Theodore Roosevelt uttered, “Put out the light.” George Bernard Shaw murmured, “I want to sleep.” And shortly before his fatal car crash, James Dean was quoted to have said, “My fun days are over.” Locally, how could showbiz writers forget the infamous suicide note of ‘80s bold star Stella Strada? Her final words? “This is a crazy planets!” Here’s an updated version of my blog post last year titled…

Top 12 Last Words and Deathbed Statements of Local Celebrities

12: Bro. Mike Velarde: “Gagaleeeeng! Lalakas! Gagaleng! Lalak… uk…uk…ugh!”

11: Sen. Francis Pangilinan: “Hiwalay kung hiwalay!”

10: John Lapus: “Doc, totoo bang mamamatay na ako? Yes or No? Don’t Lie to Me!

9: Nora Aunor: (Hallucinating) “Ding ang bato! Ihagis mo sa akin ang bato!”

8: Sen. Manuel Villar: “Cynthia… sa araw ng aking libing, gusto ko idaan n’yo ang aking funeral procession… sa C5!”

7: Sen. Alan Peter Cayetano: “Arf! Arf! Arf!”

6: Sen. Jamby Madrigal: (While gasping for her last breath) “A-a-attorney, pppa-pakibago ng la-la-last will and tetes-testament ko. I have me-me-made a de-de-decision a-a-attorney. Nobody de-dedeserves to inherit my ma-ma-money except – for myself! Akin lahat ang mana!”

5: Joseph Estrada: “Hik!”

4: Ret. PNP comptroller Eliseo De La Paz: “Sweetheart, ‘yong makukulektang abuloy, paki-convert sa euro huh.”

3: Jocjoc Bolante: “I am prepared to face death… in the proper forum.”

2: Cong. Jose De Venecia: “I swear! This is it na talaga! I’m now ready to tell the truth no matter who gets hurt! May oras pa ba?” (And then he dies)

And the No. 1 last words and deathbed statement of local celebrities…

1: President Arroyo: (in her deathbed, when doctors asked how she felt) “My respiratory fundamentals are very strong. I have become more resilient amid the global health crisis. I will survive this.”

See also: Deathbed Declarations of Contemporary Politicians and Celebrities

Here Comes the Bribe, er Bride

Reports say Luli Arroyo will wed her banker boyfriend next year.

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Never take life too seriously; after all, no one gets out of it alive.
— Elbert Hubbard

MEGA SPLIT?

null Jamby vs. Villar
Earlier this week, Sen. Jamby Madrigal filed an ethics complaint against Sen. Manuel Villar… but the Ethics Committee immediately dismissed it after reading the portion of the complaint that stated, “If the Senate President is ousted from the Senate, the complainant, Sen. Ana Consuelo Madrigal-Valade will be entitled to a portion of Villar’s wealth acquired through the development of the C5 road.”

null Kiko, Sharon Split Up?
Unconfirmed reports say the 12-year marriage of Sen. Francis Pangilinan and megastar Sharon Cuneta is over. Kiko’s close friends were shocked by the report; Sharon’s closest friends were even more shocked the marriage lasted that long.

Kiko, Sharon Split Up? II
Makeup artist Fanny Serrano who’s currently in Hong Kong with his friend, Sharon Cuneta denied rumors that his megastar friend and husband Francis Pangilinan have separated. But showbiz insiders believe otherwise considering that Cuneta has been spending more time now with Fanny than with Kiko.

Kiko, Sharon Split Up? III
Rumors say Sen. Francis Pangilinan and megastar Sharon Cuneta have called it quits. Mrs. Rose Flaminiano is blaming Gabby Concepcion.

For Everybody
At the height of the alleged “double budget insertions” controversy, Senator Villar’s S&T slogan has spawned a variety of meanings. There’s Singit at Taga (coined by Senator Lacson, I believe), and C5 at Taga (I first read in Neal Cruz’ PDI column).

But there’s more. I’ve come up with S&T meanings for other local personalities. Enjoy reading!

What started it all… Sen. Manuel Villar: Sipag at Tiyaga

President Arroyo: Suka at T*e (Read: Upset stomach)

Sen. Panfilo Lacson: Salvage at Tingga (Bang!)

Joseph Estrada: Sugal at Toma (Hik!)

First Gentleman Mike Arroyo: Sumpa at Taba

DOJ Sec. Raul Gonzales: Sira at Tanda

Nora Aunor: Sha*u at Tungga

Finally, (And apologies for the language)…

John Osmena: Subo at Ts*pa

Enjoy your weekend!