“HELLLOOO!”

Dial M for Manoling:
An Exclusive (Almost) Tell-All Interview

You’ve seen him on TV, heard on the radio and read in the papers. But there’s nothing quite like this conversation. The Professional Heckler asked our guest questions people have been wanting to ask but couldn’t. Read on.

Heckler: Good evening sir.
Manoling: Helloooo!

Heckler: Nagmamadali ba kayo sir? Don’t worry, I only have five questions. This will be short.
Manoling: No, no, no. It’s ok. I prefer it long. Hellooo!

Heckler: Haha Funnier pala kayo sir in person. Akala ko sa TV lang.
Manoling: Depende ta mood ko. I mean sa mood ko. Sorry. Nabulol ako bigla.

Heckler: Unang tanong, ano ho ba talaga ang M sa “Dial M?”
Manoling: Thank you for asking that. Lagi nga akong iniintriga dahil sa letter M na ‘yan eh. Akala ng iba it stands for “Manoling.” May nagsabi pa ngang baka raw “Mahadera” o “Madaya.” That’s preposterous and insulting. Hellloooo! Hindi ako madaya! The program was produced primarily to guide the lotto bettors. The letter M in Dial M stands for “Mananaya.” It was a show of the people, for the people, by the people. Sila ang inspirasyon namin sa programang ito.

Heckler: Tumataya ho ba kayo sa lotto?
Manoling: Hellooooo! For me to bet on the lotto is tantamount to depriving the poor an opportunity for a better life. That’s cruel. Para que pa at nag-host ako ng public service program kung kakalabanin ko ang mahihirap? Do you get the logic hijo?

Heckler: Bakla ho ba kayo?
Manoling: Just a minute hijo. May tumatawag yata sa aking telefono. Hello? Yes, Maggie… Ah no. No, Maggie, ‘di kita puwedeng ilaglag. Yes, yes, Helloooo BFFs remember? Yes… yes. O sige Maggie, bye!

Heckler: Maggie De La Riva sir?
Manoling: Ah, no. That’s Magi Gunigundo, nagkamali ng dial. Kinausap ako…  eh ‘di kinausap ko rin. Tanga lang. By the way, you were asking something about the Senate hearing?

Heckler: Ahm, no sir. Ang question ko po, bakla ho ba kayo?
Manoling: ‘Yan ba talaga ang tanong mo before the phone call? I think hindi ‘yan eh. Can you verify sa ‘yong questionnaire?

Heckler: Ito na lang po: Sino ang ibinoto n’yong presidential candidate noong 2010?
Manoling: Hellooooo! Siyempre si Noynoy!

Heckler: Pero sir, kitang-kita ang ebidensya sa “Dial M.” You were blatantly campaigning for Gilbert Teodoro.
Manoling: Helloooo! It doesn’t necessarily follow. Bakit si Erap? Ikinampanya si Binay sa buong Pilipinas pero hindi niya ibinoto? ‘Tsaka si former President Arroyo! Gibô sa kampanyahan, Villar sa halalan. Hellooo!

Heckler: Baka naman nagpapalusot lang kayo Sir dahil may electioneering case na against you?
Manoling: I’ve said this before and I am saying this now, Dial M was a comedy show, a gag show. We were merely playing our respective roles sa programa. Effective lang talaga ang portrayal namin ni Maggie. Helllloooo!

Heckler: Sir, I heard good swimmer ho kayo. Hypothetical lang po: kung nasa isang papalubog na bangka kayo with Mrs. Margie Juico and Sen. Juan Ponce Enrile. Sino ang sasagipin mo?
Manoling: Mali ang research mo hijo. I don’t swim.

Heckler: Sa isang episode ng “Dial M,” na-mention n’yo po na sinungaling si Sen. TG Guingona at si Sen. Chiz naman, mahilig magpa-cute. Ano po bang…
Manoling: Dear Lord! Hindi pa ba tapos ang isyung ‘yan? I have apologized to both of them Mother of Christ! If they’re not satisfied, sige, luluhod ako sa harapan nila. Kahit sabay pa! Sabihin lang nila kung kailan at saan, kung ‘yon lang ang paraan upang mapatawad nila ako, sige luluhod ako!

Heckler: Maiba ho ako. Mainit hong pinag-uusapan ang “Poleteismo” ni Mideo Cruz. Ano ho ang masasabi n’yo sa exhibit na ‘yon?
Manoling: I was shocked and I was offended. It was repugnant. It was repulsive. It was insensitive. Tama ba namang lagyan ng ari ang Kristong Hari? I mean, phallic-worship is not uncommon these days; and I’m not speaking from personal experience, pero wala naman sanang bastusan ng religious images and symbols. Nakakapangilabot!

Heckler: Almost 78 na ho kayo. Kumusta ho ang sex life n’yo?
Manoling: Grabe ka naman hijo. Masyado kang judgmental. Si Kuya Germs nga, active pa, ako pa kaya na mas mukhang bata. Let’s leave it at that. Helllooo!

Heckler: Napuntahan n’yo na ba ang Wikipedia? Familiar ho ba kayo do’n?
Manoling: I have heard about it pero sa edad kong ito, nakakapagod nang bumiyahe.
Heckler: Hindi po lugar ‘yon. It’s a free online encyclopedia. Anyway, you were quoted to have said that you “have taken a vow of celibacy.” Are you still a virgin sir?
Manoling: My god! Why are you asking all these questions!? You’re invading my privacy! Helllooo! Just so you know hijo, the last time someone attempted to “invade” my privates, I mean, my privacy, hindi ako nasiyahan. Pinalayas ko! So pleeeease, tama na.

Heckler: Sorry for that Sir. Nabanggit po ninyo sa Senado na hinding-hindi na kayo tatanggap ng kahit anong posisyon sa gobyerno?
Manoling: That’s correct! Never!

Heckler: Eh kung 100 thousand per month ang suweldo?
Manoling: Never!

Heckler: 100 thousand + luxury car?
Manoling: Ayoko!

Heckler: 100 thousand + luxury car + condo unit?
Manoling: ‘Di ko kailangan ang mga ‘yan!

Heckler: 100 thousand + luxury car + condo unit + a date with John Lloyd Cruz and Coco Martin?
Manoling: Anong posisyon ba ‘yong ino-offer?
Heckler: Ay, wala po. Hypothetical lang.
Manoling: Helllooo!
-END OF INTERVIEW-

The Pacquiaos and Paris
Congressman Manny Pacquiao had dinner with socialite and heiress Paris Hilton Tuesday night. My sources say Pacman discussed his stance on poverty, reproductive health, divorce, and religion. The socialite was surprised. Pacman has more ‘positions’ than her.

Top 6 Things Overheard at the Dinner Hosted by the Pacquiaos for Paris Hilton

No. 6: “Drinks ma’am? Juice, iced tea?” “Thanks! But I want a blow job honey!”

No. 5: “Hi Pares. Call me Mommy D for tonight onli. Is this you olredi? Pastilan! Malaswaaaa! Ikaw nga ang babaeng malaswaaa!”

No. 4: “You know what Jinkee, you remind me of my old film. Have you seen ‘House of Wax?’”

No. 3: “So tell me something about your president. Is he cool?”

No. 2: “Paris, this is my friend, Governor Chavit. He’s like your old California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger. You know… many wifes. Many childrens.”

And the No. 1 thing overheard at the dinner hosted by the Pacquiaos for Paris Hilton…

“I see you in the old movie of yours. Hihihi But it’s dark. I heard onli the ungol. You know what is ungol? It’s like this, ‘Ooohng, oh, oooooohhng. Oh aaahhhh!’ That’s ungol in layman’s term. You know.”

Brothers Arroyo
According to Negros Occidental Rep. Ignacio “Iggy” Arroyo, his brother, former First Gentleman Mike Arroyo did not own the used choppers sold to the PNP. The helicopters, he claimed, were only “leased” to the Arroyo firm, LTA, Inc. Ano ba’ng palagay ng magkapatid na ‘yan sa publiko? Elesi? Eh bakit pinapaikot nila tayo?

The Jose Pidal account then, the controversial choppers today. The younger brother of former First Gentleman Jose Miguel Arroyo is taking up the cudgels for him yet again. Or as Will Smith would say, “Getting Iggy With It.”

GMA Update
According to Dr. Juliet Gopez-Cervantes of the St. Luke’s Medical Center they did not advise former President Arroyo to seek medical treatment abroad. This is contrary to the earlier statement issued by Dr. Raul Lambino.

Setback
A Mandaluyong City judge has issued a 20-day TRO on the enforcement of the MMDA’s no-smoking policy on roads and major thoroughfares. MMDA chairman Francis Tolentino calls it a “setback.” The judge calls it “payday.”
————————————————————————————-
“The younger brother must help to pay for the pleasures of the elder.”
~ Jane Austen, Mansfield Park

Personal
You can still vote for The Professional Heckler a.k.a. Loi Reyes Landicho in the Tatt Awards: Word Slayer category. There are other great finalists in the category, vote for them too. Ten categories, 50 finalists. Vote now!

You Have Spoken
Sa rumor na makikipagkita si Paris Hilton kay Pangulong Aquino, ano ang masasabi mo?
-Sure, why not? Baka makatulong sa turismo at negosyo. 21.63%
-One word: CHEAP! 46.94%
-Wala akong pakialam. 31.43%

Enjoy the rest of the week! Stay healthy.

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“I AM BACK!”

I AM SHARING with you now the final batch of inquiries I got through email. If you’ve got questions yourselves, do not hesitate to ask by following me @HecklerForever on Twitter. I will try to answer your questions as promptly as possible. Thank you.

Here we go…

Dear Professional Heckler,
I am back! You should be ashamed of yourself for peddling lies to the public while I was away, knowing fully well that I could not confront your lies in my absence.
Naghihimutok,
FG

Dear FG,
Bakit ako? ‘Di ba? Kasi tingnan mo o, who will tell me? Who will tell me? Really! Did you guys even tell me about those choppers? Wala eh. Nobody even bothered. Nobody informed. It’s as if you’re waiting for me to just do that: lambast you while you’re away. Dapat i-inform, iinform. I should have been informed. ‘Yon lang ‘yon.
Heckler

Dear Professional Heckler,
Kapag hindi ako dumalo sa hearing, sasabihin nila, meron akong itinatago. Kapag umattend naman ako, baka atakihin ako sa puso. Ano ba ang dapat kong gawin?
Problemado,
FG

Dear FG,
Ang sipag mong sumulat ah. Wala kang ginagawa ‘no? Anyway, I’m sure, kahit dumalo ka pa sa hearing, meron ka pa ring itatago. You’ll freakin’ invoke your freakin right against freakin self-incrimination. What’s the freakin’ difference? ‘Wag ka na lang dumalo. Kailangan ka namin nang buhay.
Heckler

Dear Professional Heckler,
Sino ba talaga ang may-ari sa akin? ‘Yong Archibald Po o si FG?
Kainis,
Controversial Helicopters

Dear Controversial Helicopters,
Para sa ‘yong impormasyon, ang owner mo ngayon, ‘yong PNP. Sino ang may-ari sa ‘yo? Mali ka! Ang dapat na tanong: sino’ng kumita?
Heckler

Dear Professional Heckler,
Dapat ko bang ipa-feng shui ang Room 512 na dating kuwarto ni Migz sa Senado? You know, for good luck.
Padayon,
Koko

Dear Koko,
Ipina-feng shui na rin ‘yan ni Migz noon. Apparently, four years lang ang bisa ng suwerte. Hindi naman kasi hawak ng feng shui ang iyong kapalaran. Hawak ito ng election operators and canvassers. Sila ang dapat mong ipa-feng shui.
Heckler

Dear Professional Heckler,
After ng bakasyon namin ni Audrey, wala na akong gagawin. That’s what I fear most – boredom. Help!
Worried,
Migz

Dear Migz,
Since very close ka naman sa Team Azkals, why not try out for the team? Mestizo ka rin naman. Ayaw mo ba no’n? From Senate to soccer. Astig pare!
Heckler

Dear Professional Heckler,
Do you know where you’re going to? Do you like the things that life is showing you? Where are you going to? Do you know?
Answer me!
Senator Alan Peter

Dear Senator Alan Peter,
Talagang pinatugtog mo si Diana Ross sa Senate floor? Gano’ng level na ba ang mga mambabatas ngayon? I cannot imagine Senator Jovito Salonga trying to pull off the same stunt. Ang cheap huh!
Heckler

Dear Professional Heckler,
I never thought that a person of my stature would someday commit a stupid mistake and apologize to Mike Arroyo. Ano ang dapat kong gawin sa subordinate na nag-feed sa akin ng wrong Immigration info: suspindehin o sibakin?
Napahiya,
Madam Leila

Dear Madam Leila,
Itinatanong po ninyo kung dapat suspindehin o sibakin? Neither! Turuan n’yo na lang po ng tamang spelling. Ang tanga-tanga lang nila, sa totoo lang. Embarrassing!
Heckler

Dear Professional Heckler,
Hindi ko na ‘to kinakaya. Kinasuhan na ako ng electioneering. My God! What is happening?!
Ayoko na!
Manoling

Dear Manoling,
‘k.
Heckler

Dear Professional Heckler,
Nang lumabas ang aking interview sa “Showbiz Central” ng GMA7 last month, grabe ring insulto ang inabot ko online. Nilait-lait ako sa mga social networking sites. Nag-trend din ako sa Twitter worldwide at nasaktan rin ang aking pamilya. Pero bakit ni isa sa inyo, walang pumiyok at nagsabing may nagaganap na cyber-bullying? Bakit walang nag-raise ng isyu ng social media excess? Bakit?
Naiiyak,
Amanda C

Dear Amanda C,
Summa cum laude ka ba? UP Law ka ba? Dati ka bang opisyal ng University Student Council sa State University? Nagre-review ka ba ngayon for the bar exams? Lumusong ka ba sa baha at lumutang ang kotse habang eksklusibong kinukunan ng isang TV reporter? Kung hindi, ‘wag ka nang magtaka. Life’s unfair. I’m sure, familiar ka rin naman sa terminong ‘double standard,’ right?
Heckler

Dear Professional Heckler,
Sino na po ang dini-date ngayon ng ating Pangulo? May update ba kayo sa kanyang lovelife?
Intrigera lang,
Tarcila

Dear Tarcila,
Kasi naman, pinansin pa ng media. Ayan tuloy, hindi na niya binabanggit ang lovelife niya sa kanyang speeches. Mag-aminan na tayo! Nami-miss mo ang tsismis ‘no?
Heckler
P.S. May alam ka ba? Itext mo naman.

Dear Professional Heckler,
Wala kaming incentives na makukuha sa government dahil ayon sa Philippine Sports Commission (PSC) hindi raw kami national athletes. Anong masasabi mo?
Champs,
Philippine Dragon Boat Team

Dear Philippine Dragon Boat Team,
Hindi man kayo national athletes, national pride naman kayo! Sabihin n’yo sa mga opisyal ng PSC, “isaksak n’yo sa baga n’yo ang incentives n’yo!”
Heckler

Dear Professional Heckler,
Kamakalawa po ay nagkaroon ng hearing sa Senado tungkol sa illegal trade ng mga tukô. Nagulat po ako nang makita ko sa TV na may mga buháy na tukông dinala sa Senado. Ano po ang unang reaksyon ng mga senador nang makita ang mga ‘yon?
Wala lang,
Aling Budang

Dear Aling Budang,
Isa lang ang naging reaksyon ng mga senador nang makita ang mga tukô. Sabi nila: “Welcome to the Senate ‘kapamilya!’”
Heckler


Dear Professional Heckler,
Your pathetic UP bias aside, do you think we could sweep the second round of the UAAP cage wars for a 14-0 win-loss slate?
One Big Fight,
Kiefer & Slaughter

Dear Kiefer & Slaughter,
Whatever!
Heckler

Dear Professional Heckler,
Patahimikin n’yo na ako! Please lang. Ilibing n’yo na ako!
Nagmamakaawa,
Ferdie Macoy

Dear Ferdie Macoy,
Fault ko? Fault kong nasa freezer pa rin ang katawang lupa mo??? Sorry ka na lang dahil choosy ang pamilya mo!
Heckler
—————————————————————————————
“Falling ill is not something that happens to us, it is a choice we make as a result of things happening to us.”
~Jonathan Miller

Personal
Thank you so much for the nomination. The Professional Heckler is one of the finalists in the Globe T@tt Awards: WordSlayer category. You may visit the official site to vote for your favorites. Bahala na kayo. Malalaki na kayo. Sabi nga ni Zenaida Seva, meron kayong free will, gamitin n’yo ito. Mabuhay!

You Have Spoken
Umabuso raw ang users ng social media (Twitter, Facebook, etc) sa pag-handle sa insidenteng kinasangkutan ni Christopher Lao. Your take:
-Excuse me. We’re just expressing our views, our thoughts on what happened. 50.45%
-Agree ako. Dapat isipin muna kung ano ang ating isusulat o ipopost. Baka nakakasakit na tayo. 30%
-Sino si Christopher Lao? 19.55%

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Have fun!

ALL APOLOGIES

IN A PASTORAL STATEMENT read by outgoing CBCP president Nereo Odchimar Monday, the Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines apologized to the members of the Catholic Church after several bishops got embroiled in the PCSO fund controversy. Here’s a portion of that letter [and what the CBCP wanted to say but couldn’t in parentheses.]

Our Dear People of God,
[Mga Tagasunod,]

Our Mother Church has been deeply wounded by the controversies in the Philippine Charity Sweepstakes Office that have erupted in the past two weeks.
[Nitong mga nakaraang linggo, sumusobra na kayo. Pikon na ang Simbahan. As in!]

Some members of the Church believe in the innocence of the bishops involved in the issue, while others do not.
[Kung ayaw n’yong maniwala, ‘wag!]

There is no doubt that everywhere in the Church there is great sorrow.
[Kung saan-saan na kami nagdasal, ayaw pa ring tumigil!]

We your pastors are one with you.
[Higit kailanman, kailangan namin kayo ngayon.]

… we are sorry for the pain and sadness that these events have brought upon you.
[‘Sensya na, tao lang.]

We are saddened that many of you… have been confused because of the apparent inconsistency of our actions…
[Hindi lang kayo ang ‘confused!’ Marami ring pari at obispo ang confused!’]

As we express our sadness, we also ask you to be slow in judgment…
[‘Wag kayong mapanghusga. Bakit?! Talaga namang kadiri ang same-sex marriage ah. Judgmental ba ‘yon?]

Let us seek the truth always in charity.
[Lalabas din ang katotohanan. Basta ang donasyon, ituloy n’yo lang.]

We assure you that the bishops concerned are ready to accept responsibility for their action…
[Kinastigo na namin at binantaang ititiwalag. Kapag ‘di pa naman nagtanda ‘yong mga ‘yon, ewan na lang.]

We assure you that their action was done without malice.
[Maliban na lang do’n sa isa. Nakadalawang sulat pala ang damuho! Ang kapal talaga ng mukha!]

Out of their sincere desire to help their people, they failed to consider the pitfalls to which these grants could possibly lead them.
[Kita n’yo na? Fault n’yo ‘to eh! Kayo ang dahilan kung bakit nagawa ng mga obispo ‘yon!]

They have also expressed their readiness to do everything that is necessary to heal this wound so that we can all move forward in hope.
[Ibabalik na nga namin ang mga sasakyan eh. Ba’t ba ang kulit n’yo? Anong akala n’yo sa ‘min? Patay-gutom? Mas mayaman ang Simbahan kesa sa PCSO ‘no?]

We shall examine our values in the light of our vocation to be disciples of Jesus Christ.
[Masakit pero kakayanin.]

We plead with you to walk with us in this path of constant renewal.
[Akala ng Noynoy na ‘yan, siya lang ang may matuwid na daan!? Kami rin!]

We express again our deep sorrow for the pain that the recent events have brought to you our beloved people.
[Paulit-ulit na kaming nagso-sorry. Akala n’yo ba madaling gawin ‘to? Hindi!]

The good Lord knows our love for you.
[Kaya nga kami nag-request ng 4 x 4, para mabisita namin kayo ‘di ba? Hindi pa ba sapat na pruweba ‘yan ng aming pagmamahal?]

The words of the Psalmist come to our mind: “My sacrifice, a contrite spirit. A humbled, contrite heart you will not spurn.”
[Patawad na kasi, ano ba?!]

As the same Psalmist addresses the Lord, we take his words as our own to encourage and challenge us: “Indeed you love truth in the heart; then in the secret of my heart teach me wisdom.”
[Natuto na kami. Promise, ‘di na mauulit.]

For the Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines,
[‘Tapos na ang termino ko! Isang malaking good luck sa kapalit ko!]

+NEREO P. ODCHIMAR, D.D.
Bishop of Tandag
President, Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines
July 11, 2011

Margie vs. Manoling
The word war between PCSO chair Margie Juico and former PCSO chair Manoling Morato is getting personal – and ugly. Morato accused Juico of “charging even her sanitary napkins to PCSO.” In all fairness to Manoling, he uses his own money to buy one.

Caught
A saltwater crocodile suspected of killing and devouring a fisherman had been caught in Brgy. Rio Tuba, Bataraza, Palawan. But the croc insists a case cannot be filed against him citing parliamentary immunity.
——————————————————————-
“Never ruin an apology with an excuse.”
~Kimberly Johnson

Quote of the Weak
“Margie Juico has been charging her grocery bills and even sanitary napkins to PCSO.”
~Former PCSO Chair/Director Manoling Morato

Have a safe and productive week!

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IDOLS

LEE DEWYZE is the new American Idol! After a nationwide vote, the shy and humble paint store clerk from Illinois was declared winner over young mother Crystal Bowersox of Ohio. Industry analysts say though that Bowersox is a better performer than DeWyze. Well, it does happen: better performers losing the vote? Hey, it just happened right here last May 10!

Since Day 1 of American Idol Season 9, the judges have been hinting of a Crystal Bowersox win. She has always been the frontrunner… until Chiz Escudero came out with an ad supporting Lee DeWyze.

Lee DeWyze has been declared winner of American Idol Season 9. Immediately after his win, various groups advised him to quit smoking.

America has voted and Lee DeWyze is crowned the new American Idol. Guess what, something odd happened during the finalé. As the official results were being announced, Annie Susano and Robert Ace Barbers suddenly appeared and claimed that massive fraud took place during the voting.

Morato’s Claim
Former PCSO and MTRCB Chairman Manoling Morato revealed that men approached him and offered to rig the polls in favor of Gilbert Teodoro for one billion pesos. Morato was stunned! Imagine, the men were asking one billion pesos from him! He subsequently rejected the offer saying the most that he had given a man was P1,500. Two hours na ‘yon!


Transition
Representatives of Mrs. Arroyo and Noynoy Aquino are now talking about ‘smooth transition.’ Like this morning, Mrs. Arroyo’s associates toured Noynoy’s men to Malacañang’s designated smoking area.

Congressman Pacquiao
Congressman-elect Manny Pacquiao says he is set to enroll in UP in preparation for his new job as Sarangani representative. Asked if he’s enrolling in a crash course, he replied, “Kungrisista aku, hindi pilutu! Gagu!”

Not True
Singing sensation Charice Pempengco has denied rumors she will appear on the hit US TV show “Glee.” However, it has been confirmed that Mar Roxas will appear on “Lost.”

Charice Pempengco has denied rumors she will appear on “Glee.” It has been confirmed though that Manny Villar will appear on “The Biggest Loser.”

Hot Weather
The weather bureau said temperature in Metro Manila reached 38 degrees on Wednesday! Sought for comment on the hot weather, president-apparent Noynoy Aquino said, “Wala ‘yan! ‘Yung bayaw ko ngang si James Yap, kayang mag-360 degrees!”
—————————–
“If you elect a matinee idol mayor, you’re going to have a musical comedy administration.”
~Robert Moses

Survey Says
Now that Noynoy Aquino has been elected president, should he quit smoking?
YES! Para na rin sa ikabubuti ng kalusugan niya. 44%
NO! Lifestyle niya ‘yun. 17%
WALA akong pakialam kung anumang gawin n’ya sa buhay n’ya! 39%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

SURPRISE!

GMA and the Olympics null

President Arroyo will attend the opening of the 29th Summer Olympics in Beijing this year. Rumors say there has just been an ex-deal between Mrs. Arroyo and the Chinese government: China gives her reserved seats in the stadium; RP gives China oil reserves at the Spratlys. Fair enough?

null GMA and the Olympics II null

President Arroyo will attend the opening of the 29th Summer Olympics in Beijing this year. Rumors say she’ll then meet with Chinese President Hu Jintao to talk about the possibility of co-hosting the 2018 Asian Games – at the Spratly Islands.

null “Surprise Witness”

The Philippine Daily Inquirer’s top story Sunday claimed that former Phil. National Oil Company president Eduardo Mañalac is the new “surprise witness” who will testify before the Senate on the NBN ZTE anomaly. However, a stunned Mañalac strongly denied the report of the Inquirer. After reading the paper, Mañalac thus became a “surprised witness.”

“Surprise Witness” II

The Philippine Daily Inquirer‘s top story Sunday claimed that former Phil. National Oil Company president Eduardo Mañalac is the new “surprise witness” who will testify before the Senate on the NBN ZTE scandal. However, the report has been categorically denied by Mañalac himself, the Senate through Sen. Panfilo Lacson, and NBN ZTE whistleblower Joey De Venecia. Mañalac may have been surprised by the Inquirer report – but for regular readers of the paper? Wala ‘yon! Sanay na kami sa Inquirer!

“Surprise Witness” III

An infuriated Eduardo Mañalac has written the Philippine Daily Inquirer and categorically denied its banner story Sunday claiming he was the Senate’s next “surprise” star witness on the NBN ZTE deal. Mañalac said, “Worse than hearsay, this article is a complete falsehood,” and hinted that he might take legal action against the Inquirer. This “star witness” is mad but right now, another star must be smiling and glad – The Philippine Star!

Cory’s Plea

Former President Corazon Aquino appealed to the public to pray for the Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines to reconsider its original stand not to call for the resignation of President Arroyo. Let’s see which is more powerful: Cory or the PCSO – Pera o Prayer?

Lozada’s Wish

The other day, ZTE NBN deal witness Rodolfo “Jun” Lozada said “I’m getting my life back and I want to live a normal life.” And in case you didn’t notice, he has started living his so-called “normal life” by touring the whole archipelago – absolutely for free. Sweet!

JDV and Lakas

According to Cong. Jose De Venecia’s lawyer Raul Lambino, JDV will not leave Lakas-CMD because he will be the “konsensya” of Lakas. Hmmm, tell me: a party without conscience and a party with De Venecia as its conscience… what’s the difference?

null Morato and Lozada

PCSO director Manoling Morato lambasted ZTE NBN witness Jun Lozada saying he is as fake as his name. Sought for his reaction on Morato’s rant, Lozada allegedly replied, “No comment po ako d’yan kasi sabi po ng tatay ko… hindi dapat pinapatulan ang mga babae.”

Bad Education

Check out the latest YouTube sensation: 2008 Bb. Pilipinas-World Janina San Miguel.

Have a great week ahead!