LIGHT BULB JOKES, ANYONE?

LET’S TAKE IT EASY this weekend with another dose of light bulb jokes. Enjoy!


Q: How many President Aquinos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it and one to order the filing of a case against those who purchased the overpriced, low quality burnt bulb.

Q: How many presidential spokespersons does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. One to change it and two to spread the good news on Twitter.

Q: How many Mar Roxases does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to confirm the death of the old bulb and one to replace it.

Q: How many anti-RH Bill legislators does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one but he will probably delay it.

Q: How many Herbert Bautistas does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it and one to put up a streamer announcing the accomplishment.

Q: How many Villafuertes does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One whole family. But expect infighting and discord during the installation.

Q: How many Lourdes Serenos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. If it’s God’s will, there will be light.

Q: How many Antonio Trillaneses does it take to change a light bulb?
A: He’s not interested. He’d rather change the Senate leadership.

Q: How many Alfredo Lims does it take to change a light bulb?
A: O, pwede nang dalawa. One to change it and one to shoot the old bulb.

Q: How many Tito Sottos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Zero. He’ll let somebody else do the task and claim later that he did it himself.

Q: How many Joel Villanuevas does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 51. One to change it and 50 to observe and learn from the free electrical training.

Q: How many Pinoys does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Juan.

Q: How many Ateneans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: How many can you afford?

Q: How many Greg Slaughters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One-half.

Q: How many Thomasians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five. One to change it as four others chant, ‘Go USTe! Go USTe! Go USTe! Go! Go! Go! Go!”

Q: How many UP alumni does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it and one – holding the burnt bulb – to condemn state abandonment of education.

Q: How many La Sallians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: “F*ck off! Lagi na lang kaming punchline!”

Q: How many La Sallians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They have employees to do that for them.

Q: How many Marzan couples does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One couple to change it and another couple to beat the crap out of the burnt bulb.

Q: How many Vice Gandas does it take to change a light bulb?
A: “Napundi lang ang bumbilya, papalitan agad ng bago? ‘Di ba pwedeng mag-kandila muna para tipid?”

A: Isa lang.
Q: How many Madam Aurings does it take to change a light bulb?
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“It is inaccurate to say I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for any public office.”
~ H.L. Mencken

Quote of the Day
“Mabuti nga nagkakasya pa ang ulo niya sa elevator.”
~Former President Joseph Estrada accusing Sen. Antonio Trillanes of being arrogant and an ingrate

Personal
Good luck to the members and coaching staff of the UP Pep Squad who are seeking a 3-peat in the 2012 UAAP Cheerdance Competition on Saturday, Sept. 22 at SM MOA Steep Much Arena. To all the teams competing, break a leg. [Please don’t take that literally.]

Ibalik ang Cheerdance Competition sa Araneta Coliseum!

Happy weekend!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.