LET THERE BE LIGHT (2012)

Q: How many Noynoy Aquinos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it and another to blame the failure of the old bulb on the previous administration

Q: How many Noynoy Aquinos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. But the more important question is: will he do it?

Q: How many Noynoy Aquinos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it and another to release photos of him installing the new bulb.

Q: How many Jejomar Binays does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 10. One to change it and nine to send a text blast telling Filipinos about his accomplishment.

Q: How many Niel Tupases does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 45! No, only 24. Wait, it think it’s 6 17.

Q: How many Serafin Cuevases does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to install the new bulb and another to defend the materiality, pertinence, and relevance of the installation.


Q: How many Miriam Defensor-Santiagos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it, and another to lecture the electrician on the correct way of installation.

Q: How many Juan Ponce Enriles does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four. One to change it and three to talk about how much better it was during Martial Law.

Q: How many Toby Tiangcos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: He won’t. He thinks the ladder is defective.

Q: How many Miro Quimbos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it and another to blame the media if the new bulb doesn’t work.

Q: How many “small ladies” does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Maybe one. Or none? Nobody knows for sure.

Q: How many Renato Coronas does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one. But some sectors will question his capacity to finish the job.

Q: How many Manny Pacquiaos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: ‘Di na kailangan ‘yan. Genesis 1:3: And God said “Let there be light.” And there was light.

Q: How many Gloria Macapagal-Arroyos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it and another to write a book about the burnt bulb.

Q: How many Gloria Macapagal-Arroyos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: At least five. Again, the ceiling is too high.

Q: How many Judge Jesus Mupases does it take to change a light bulb?
A: You’re late. He just did!

Q: How many Franklin Drilons does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Only one. But… careful with the ladder!

Q: How many Liberals does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it and another to ask the people to embrace ‘change.’

Q: How many Lakas politicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Lakas? What Lakas? They’re now Liberals!


Q: How many Ex-Palawan Governor Joel T. Reyeses does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it, and another to shoot the old bulb.

Q: How many Communists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One to change it and a dozen more to chant, “Tama na! Pundido na! Palitan na!”

Q: How many Communists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it and another to blame America for the burnt bulb.

Q: How many Pulse Asias and Social Weather Stations does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Depende. Sang-ayon ba kayo na sila ang magpalit ng bumbilya?
__ Labis na sumasang-ayon __ Sumasang-ayon __ Tumututol __ Labis na Tumututol

Q: How many Zeny Maglayas does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two. One to change it and another to file a complaint against the manufacturer of the original bulb.

Q: How many Philippine Daily Inquirers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four. One to change it, one to take photos, one to publish the unflattering photo, and one to apologize for the publication of the photo.

Q: How many North Koreans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one but there’s no assurance that the new bulb will work upon installation.

Q: How many Sharon Cunetas does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it and another to tweet a Biblical passage related to bulbs.

Q: How many Grace Lees does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it and another to tell the press about the experience.

Q: How many Azkals does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Eleven. Two to change it, and nine to laugh during the installation of the new bulb.

Q: How many UP students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it, and another to blame the state for its lack of support.

Q: How many Ateneans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it, and another to brag about the feat.

Q: How many La Sallistas does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We don’t know. We forgot the calculator at home.

Q: How many UST students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: No need. They have candles. Pray na lang muna.

Q: How many UPLB students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: They don’t need to replace the light bulb. They need to replace their mayor.

Q: How many Wenn Deramases does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one but he needs Deejay Durano to hold the ladder.
———————————————–
“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.”
~ Plato

In Other News…
Sarangani Rep. Manny Pacquiao is set to join PDP-Laban. From Lakas to Nacionalista to Liberal supporter to Laban member. Pacman doesn’t need a party. He needs conviction.

Have a great week ahead!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

Advertisements