8 11 2010

STARTING MONDAY, November 8, a former vice president, a former congressman, and a former senator’s wife will anchor ‘TV Patrol.’ Apparently, there was ‘politics’ in the drastic change.

TV5 is unfazed by the changes on ‘TV Patrol.’ On ‘Willing Willie,’ it will field an ex-future First Lady.

Valenzuela City Councilor Shalani Soledad said she was persuaded to accept the co-hosting offer of TV5 because she’ll be doing “public service.” When NBN4 executives heard this, they said, “Sayang! Had we known, inoffer sana namin sa kanya ang ‘Damayan!’”

Shalani Soledad has joined TV5 as co-host of Willie Revillame’s game show. This confirms her break up with the president.

In an interview, Willie Revillame said Shalani Soledad reminded him of the late Princess Diana. Shalani returned the compliment by telling Willie he reminded her of Princess Punzalan.

Radical changes are being implemented by ‘TV Patrol’ and ‘Willing Willie.’ Meanwhile, GMA 7 is monitoring both stations, beinte-kwatro oras.

‘TV Patrol’ has two new anchors; ‘Willing Willie’ has a new co-host… and ’24Oras’ has a new plug.

Sources say Karen Davila has yet to decide on her next move after being annihilated from ‘TV Patrol.’ Karen dismissed rumors she’s joining ‘Pilipinas, Win na Win.’

To give way to Julius Babao, Henry Omaga Diaz was removed from the late-night newscast ‘Bandila.’ He has since been given a ‘morning’ assignment.

Ces Drilon, the significant other of a Presidential Communications Group secretary will remain on ‘Bandila.’ This info was leaked to the press even before an official announcement was made.

The popular children’s show ‘Batibot’ is also making a TV comeback via TV5. Remember Big Bird on ‘Sesame Street?’ Rumors say ‘Batibot’ will have a similar female character. To give you an idea of how she would look like, right click here.

Light Bites
Elizabeth Barrett Browning:
“How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.”

President Aquino to Mar Roxas:
“How do I love thee? Let me count the null votes.”

President Aquino to Interior Undersecretary Rico E. Puno:
“How do I love thee? Let me count the guns.”

Vice President Jejomar Binay to “brod:”
“How do I love thee? Let me count the defense lawyers.”

Supreme Court to UP Law:
“How do I love thee? Let me copy some ways.”

Mai Mislang to Vietnam:
“How do I love thee? Let me count the pogi.”

Gabby Lopez to Noli De Castro:
“How do I love thee? Let me count the cash.”

Congressman Kapalmuks to pork barrel:
“How do I loot thee? Let me count the ways.”

CBCP to LBTG Rights advocates:
“How do I loathe thee? Let me count the gays.”

Exec. Secretary Paquito ‘Jojo’ Ochoa to Vina Morales:
“How do I love thee? Let me drink to that!”

ABS-CBN to Willie Revillame:
“How do I loathe thee? Let me count the suits.”

First Philippine Industrial Corp. (FPIC) to West Tower Condominium residents:
“How do I ‘leak’ thee? Let me count the pipes.”

Karen Davila to ABS-CBN:
“How do I leave thee? Let me count the offers.”

Hayden Kho to Vicki Belo:
“How do I love thee? Let me count the surgeries.”

Councilor Shalani Soledad to President Aquino:
“How do I spite thee? Let me count on Willie.”
“When television is good, nothing is better. When it’s bad, nothing is worse.”
~Newton N. Minow

Survey Says
Sinibak ka sa TV Patrol, ano ang gagawin mo kung ikaw si Karen Davila?
– Wala lang. Deadma. Tanggapin ang Bandila. 22.65%
– Masakit. Baka sundan ko ang aking mister sa TV5. 51.22%
– Mag-iisip muna ako. Relax lang. 26.13%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

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13 01 2009

Anti-Drugs Czar
President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo has appointed herself as anti-drug “czar” who will lead the government’s fight against illegal drugs. To prove that she’s serious in her new role… this Friday, she’s attending a rave party at the Embassy bar.

President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo has appointed herself as the government’s temporary anti-drug “czar.” As her first directive, she ordered the re-designing and re-printing of DOJ letterheads.

President Arroyo has named herself as the government’s anti-narcotics “czar” who will lead the fight against illegal drugs. When Ping Lacson heard this he said, “Ah ganun? Pini-personal mo na talaga ako! Pwes, bring it on!”

President Arroyo is now the government’s temporary anti-narcotics “czar” who will lead the fight against illegal drugs. Starting tomorrow, she will drop the alias “Gloria Labandera” and will assume the new name “Gloria Narcotica.”

President Arroyo says she will act as the government’s temporary anti-drugs “czar.” When Nora Aunor heard this, she said, “Nunal noon, droga ngayon. Gaya-gaya talaga!”

Doña Mary, 103
Doña Mary Ejercito, mother of former president Joseph Estrada passed away at the age of 103 at the San Juan Medical Center. When Erap reached the hospital, he initially refused to believe his mom has died… because the death certificate issued by the doctor was printed in a DOJ letterhead.

Doña Mary Ejercito passed away at the age of 103. Rumors say, before she died, she even asked for a serving of her favorite food – Century tuna.

SWS Survey
Vice President Noli De Castro is the public’s top choice to replace President Arroyo in 2010 based on the latest SWS survey. De Castro was the choice of 31 percent of the respondents. The remaining 69 percent said “Then, let him win. Edsa 4 is always an option anyway.”

SWS Survey II
In its recent survey, the Social Weather Stations asked 1,500 adults nationwide who they thought was the “best leader” to succeed Arroyo without providing names to choose from. Vice President Noli De Castro topped the survey with 31 percent. Sen. Mar Roxas who placed sixth with 10 percent reportedly questioned the results of the survey because the SWS refused to count some 100 “Mr. Putang Ina” votes to his name.

President Revilla?
Partido Lakas executive director Ray Roquero says Sen. Ramon “Bong” Revilla Jr. is being considered as the standard bearer of the ruling Lakas-Christian Muslim Democrats in 2010. If Bong Revilla wins the presidency, I assure you, this blog will be updated three times daily!

ELSEWHERE…Karen Suspended
One of my favorite gossip columnists has reported that Karen Davila has been suspended by ABS-CBN..

The Phililippines’ “Ploning” failed to advance in the Best Foreign Language Film competition in this year’s Oscars.

Reports say Vicks Vaporub is harmful to kids under two.

I’ve seen the Golden Globe Best Picture winner ‘Slumdog Millionaire’ and I must say it’s a really nice film. Find time to watch the film.

“Drugs are a waste of time. They destroy your memory and your self-respect and everything that goes along with with your self esteem.”
~Kurt Cobain

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