WHAT DIRECTION?

SPEAKING BEFORE some 2,000 members of the Integrated Bar of the Philippines in Cebu, Vice President Binay presented his plans for his first 100 days in office if he becomes president. In his speech, the Vice President called for “the elimination of graft and corruption.” The statement alarmed his allies, and fueled speculations he’s capable of hurting himself.

1Binay
In his speech during the IBP convention in Cebu, Vice President Binay called for “the elimination of graft and corruption.” To those who say that the Vice President has no sense of humor, sorry to disappoint you.

In Cebu City, Vice President Binay detailed his plans for his first 100 days in office as president. Not to be outdone, DILG Sec. Mar Roxas detailed his plans for his first 100 days as a civilian.

Healthy
There was a rumor that President Aquino “collapsed” last Friday evening. According to Pulse Asia, the President’s BP dropped to its lowest level since he was elected president.

1kim
President Aquino has denied that he collapsed last Friday evening. There’s no truth to the rumor. Everything is normal: soda binge-drinking, smoking, coughing. Nothing to worry about.

Another rumor said the President collapsed, hit his head on something, and when he regained consciousness, he wanted to say sorry for the Mamasapano debacle. That rumor is so NOT true. It will never happen.

1tv5
It was in fact TV5 reporter JV Lim Arcena who first tweeted about the rumor quoting his unidentified “source.” Apparently, Arcena was fed wrong or misleading information. Or as the President would say, “Nabola si Arcena.”

Makati Standoff
Supporters of Mayor Junjun Binay returned to the Makati City hall quadrangle Sunday following reports that Vice Mayor Kid Peña will attempt to enter the city hall on Monday. It has been an orderly gathering so far. Good day for democracy. And an even better day… for Jollibee. #soldout

Resign
According to a Pulse Asia survey, 29 percent of Filipinos were undecided on whether President Aquino should quit his post or not. As for those who took a stand: 42 percent said the President should NOT resign while 29 percent were militants.

Dissatisfied
A Pulse Asia survey showed 8 in 10 Filipinos were not satisfied with President Aquino’s explanation on the Mamasapano encounter. The other two were his spokesmen.

1kimJeane Returns
Pork barrel queen Janet Napoles’s controversial daughter Jeane is back in the country. Authorities were ordered to track her movements. Agents have been deployed in Fort Sto. Domingo, the Napoles residence, and all branches of Louis Vuitton, Bvlgari, Hermes, Balenciaga, Gucci and Prada.

PiaNoy
In an Instagram post, Kris Aquino revealed that her brother Noynoy was “kinikilig.” She’s apparently referring to rumors that the President has been seeing Miss Universe-Philippines Pia Wurtzbach. Critics are not as excited and optimist though. To avoid another heartbreak, they made a checklist for the President: Chocolates, check! Flowers, check! Dinner, check! Reality check.

Twitter’s Birthday
Last Saturday, March 21, Twitter turned 9 years old. To mark this milestone, here are 9 controversial, memorable, fearless, and outrageous tweets from some famous Filipinos:

1Pogi

Wanted: Pogi
Taong 2010 nang makilala ng publiko ang speechwriter ng Pangulo na si Mai Mislang dahil sa kanyang brutally honest tweets habang nasa state visit sa Vietnam ang presidente. Ano na kayang nangyari sa kanya?
A: Naghahanap pa rin ng poging Vietnamese
B: Short-lived ang kasikatan; nag-flop ang mga sumunod na pelikula
C: Ewan. Mukha ba akong interesado?

1Val

#NasaanAngPangulo…
… ang tanong ng publiko sa kasagsagan ng pananalanta ng Bagyong Sendong sa Visayas? Actress Valerie Concepcion provided the answer. Unwittingly. On Twitter.

1Georgina

She’s Got Balls
Georgina Wilson’s anti-Erap sentiment in 2009 resurfaced in 2014 – offending Estrada’s son, Jake Ejercito. She apologized for offending the Ejercitos but she refused to delete the tweet. Fierce!

sha

Mega Meltdown
There was a time in 2012 when Sharon Cuneta would engage her online critics (mostly, Piolo Pascual sympathizers) in a nasty and angry exchange almost everyday of her not-so-busy-then life. She put the ‘patol’ in patola.

1VILLAF

Ignoramus
A Villafuerte scion couldn’t, or probably refused to understand the outpouring of love for the late DILG Sec. Jesse Robredo. [The Villafuertes and Robredos were political rivals in Bicol.] He has since apologized for his tweets but not after getting pilloried by netizens.

1Nancy

Korina vs. Maligno
When I tweeted something about Korina Sanchez’s alleged anti-Binay commentary on radio, Nancy Binay replied. We’re still trying to get the side of the maligno. Can’t wait to see its reaction to the comparison.

1MQ

Miriam vs. LGBT
Miriam Quiambao got flak for saying that being gay is “a lie from the devil.”  Too bad for Miriam, even God wouldn’t confirm the veracity of her statement.

1ALLAD

Think before you click.
After a loss, outspoken Don Allado vented his frustrations at the referees by tweeting that games were “fixed” and that it was “a disgrace to be part of the PBA.” Allado was banned from playing for one season. Be careful what you wish for indeed!

1Jules

Gibberish Jules
In case you didn’t know, Congress’s top absentee Jules Ledesma used to post “WTF was that” tweets such as this one. I wonder if he still does. Ambot!

Happy Birthday Twitter!
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“Pride is the mother of arrogance.”
~ Toba Beta, My Ancestor Was an Ancient Astronaut

Sound Bites
“For the first time, I was happy that my hair is short because it will show if I have stitches. I tried to feel my head, there’s no bump,”
~President Aquino on rumors he collapsed last week

Have a hassle-free week ahead!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: President Aquino and Binay: Philippine Daily Inquirer; Tweets from the celebrities’ public accounts]

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THINKING OUT LOUD

PRESIDENT AQUINO’s approval and trust ratings dropped to their lowest levels since he assumed office in 2010. His numbers have fallen. Worse, ER Ejercito is making a movie about it.

Rappler
According to the latest Pulse Asia survey, President Aquino’s approval and trust ratings plunged to their lowest levels since 2010. Malacañang says the President will not issue a statement until he has read the full report, or at least until he figures out a way to blame this on former SAF chief Getulio Napeñas.

The March 2015 Pulse Asia survey showed President Aquino’s approval and trust ratings plummeted to their lowest levels since he was elected in 2010. The survey has a margin of error of plus or minus Alan Purisima.

Apology
Former president Fidel V. Ramos said President Aquino should “humbly and sincerely” apologize for the disastrous Mamasapano operation. According to Ramos, saying sorry “would probably do 90 percent of the job.” Leave the other 10 percent to Kris Aquino.

Memoir
In his memoir, FVR’s national security adviser Jose Almonte talked about the former president’s problem with a powerful woman named “Baby” – presumably, socialite Baby Arenas who had been romantically linked to Ramos. Reports say former First Lady Amelita ‘Ming’ Ramos referred to Arenas as “that woman.” Eventually though, Ramos was able to fix 90 percent of this problem by humbly and sincerely apologizing to Ming.

1JEThe Graduate
Detained senator Jinggoy Estrada was allowed to attend the high school graduation rites of his son at OB Montessori last Tuesday. An ecstatic Jinggoy said, “I’m so proud of him finishing school.” Filipino taxpayers added, “It was all worth it naman pala.”

Stressed
DILG Sec. Mar Roxas said UNA officials displayed “high school mentality” when they challenged him to serve the Ombudsman’s suspension order on Junjun Binay. The Makati mayor replied, “Roxas should show some maturity” and must not resort to name calling. Junjun added, “Like Roxas, we’re all undergoing a stressful situation but we rise above it.” It pays to have an elevator.

1Nancy
Ano kaya ang iniisip at gustong sabihin ng babae sa picture?
A: Pagpasensyahan n’yo na lang muna itong spaghetti. Hindi ako nakapag-bake today eh. Try ko bukas.
B: ‘Pansin ko lang, magkakakulay tayo. Hihihi Relate much. Kaya sa 2016, alam n’yo na!
C: Kung ‘yong boss n’yong si Mar Roxas, ginugutom kayo, ibahin n’yo kami. Go! Kain lang nang kain; may parating pang two-piece chicken.
D: May Instagram ba kayo? I-follow n’yo nga ako: @therealnancyb. ‘Tapos, pa-regram na lang ng picture na ito. #gandakohere #blackbeauty #infairnesstome #nofilter

1KP
Ano kaya ang iniisip at gustong sabihin ng dalawang lalaki sa picture?
A: Ako si – please state your name – wait lang. O, kayong mga kasama ni Vice Mayor Kid, smile naman kayo. Obvious na kinakabahan kayo sa ginagawa natin eh.
B: Ako si – Romulo ‘Kid’ Peña Jr. – ay nanunumpang… konting bilis lang Prosecutor, baka abutan tayo ng TRO.
C: Ako si – teka lang, na-distract ako sa cellphone sa harap ko. Ano bang unit ‘yan?
D: Ako si – Romulo ‘Kid’ Peña Jr. – sandali lang Prosecutor, tauhan n’yo ba ‘yong naka-shades sa likuran? Masama ang kutob ko d’yan eh. Paalisin n’yo nga muna.

1JJ
Ano kaya ang iniisip at gustong sabihin ng lalaking nakangiti sa picture?
A: Hihihi Akala nila, makakaisa sila huh! Pa-oath-oath taking pa kayo d’yan. O, gago. Uwiii!
B: Sandali lang po. Wait lang. Lahat mabibigyan. Walang uuwing luhaan. Pila lang po para ‘di magulo.
C: Maraming salamat po sa inyong lahat! Paalala lang po, magtatapos ang bisa ng TRO after 60 days. Isa lang ang ibig sabihin n’yan. After 60 days, kitakits ulit tayong lahat dito! Free Jolllibee ulit! I love you!
D: Kalma lang girls, kalma lang. O, ha! Akala n’yo si Enrique Gil ‘to ‘no? Nagkakamali kayo. Ako nga pala ang lalaking nagpatibok sa puso ni Beyonce… ang nag-iisang Jay-Z na naniniwala sa kasabihang: Nasa Diyos ang awa, nasa taxpayers ang gawa, nasa amin ang biyaya. Jooooooooke! Nagbibiro lang po. Thank you!

New Policy
Facebook has announced that it will now prevent people from promoting hate speech on its site. Facebook will not allow posts that offend, threaten, or insult groups based on race, religion, sexual orientation, disability, nationality, or extreme devotion to KathNiel or Chicser.

Rappler
Pia and Noy
Reports say President Aquino is dating newly-crowned Bb. Pilipinas Universe, Pia Wurtzbach. Why not? Pia is well-bred, the President is well-bred. Pia is single, the President is single. Pia is gorgeous, the President is single. Let’s give them a chance.
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“It is unwise to be too sure of one’s own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err.”
~Mahatma Gandhi

RapplerSound Bites
“Saying ‘I’m sorry’ humbly and sincerely would probably do 90 percent of the job. What’s so difficult about that?”
~Former President Fidel V. Ramos to President Aquino

Peace!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: Purisima/Aquino: Rappler; Jinggoy/Graduation: Interaksyon; Junjun and Nancy Binay: Interaksyon; Kid Peña: GMA Network; Ramos and Pia Wurtzbach: Rappler]