WARNINGS


Makati Gas Leak
Independent experts from UP discovered that the petroleum pipeline operated by the Lopez-owned First Philippine Industrial Corp. (FPIC) was the REAL source of the gas leak at the West Tower Condominium in Brgy. Bangkal, Makati City. When the leak was first discovered, Makati City Mayor Junjun Binay was quick to absolve FPIC of any wrongdoing. The reports didn’t say though if FPIC officials were Binay’s fraternity brothers.

Briefly Noted
Three months ago, this was the headline:

To Energy Secretary Jose Rene Almendras:
“Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.”

Hostage Incident
A hostage incident took place in Brgy. Bangkal, Makati City Thursday afternoon. The crisis was swiftly resolved mainly because the police were able to control the media.


Travel Warnings & Security
Six countries have advised their nationals against traveling to the Philippines… specifically to Brgy. Bangkal, Makati City.

First the United States. Then, Australia, New Zealand, Canada, and Great Britain. And now, France. What have we done to you? Did we say that your wine sucked? Did we say that men in your country didn’t look good? Did we say that crossing your streets was the easiest way to die? How dare you!? How could you treat us like this when you’re not even Vietnam?!?

On Thursday, an irked President Aquino said reports of imminent terror threats in the Philippines have “no adequate basis” and “were blown out of proportion.” A day later, he confirmed “the assassination plots on several of our security officials and two ambassadors.” Ano ba talaga?

Amid reports of terror threats in Metro Manila, the Light Rail Transit is now on Alert Level 3. Meanwhile, President Aquino is on Red Alert Level 10.

Due to stricter baggage inspection, there have been long queues at LRT and MRT stations. But queues outside lotto outlets are still longer.

Mall owners are reportedly concerned over reports of imminent terror threats in the metro. To give you an idea of how concerned they have been, this morning, the Gokongweis evacuated the “snake” out of Robinsons Galleria.

Following reports of terror threats, security has been beefed up around the metro. And people from all walks of life are taking it seriously. For instance, in Makati Avenue, prostitutes are now asking for at least two IDs from customers.

Intelligence reports say Islamic terrorists are targeting San Juan City. According to San Juan Rep. JV Ejercito “extra-precautions are now being implemented” in the area. The police have been supplied high-powered rifles, the residents have been told to be vigilant, and his mom, former actress Guia Gomez, now city mayor has been advised to act like one.

This just in: Malacanang has issued a travel advisory ahead of next week’s APEC Summit in Japan. The advisory bars Asst. Sec. Mai Mislang from taking the trip with the President.

Robredo Out Soon?
Earlier reports say President Aquino is removing Secretary Jesse Robredo from the Department of Interior and Local Government and appointing him as head of an agency tasked to oversee informal settlers – something that was so appropriate since Robredo has always been treated by the president as an informal settler at the DILG.

Less than 24 hours after being quoted as such, President Aquino denied that Secretary Robredo was on the way out… apparently because his “relocation site” has yet to be established.

Lozada Out of Nuns’ Care
NBN-ZTE deal whistleblower Rodolfo “Jun” Lozada Jr. is reportedly leaving the care of a group of nuns. Soon, Lozada will no longer be an informal settler.


Pacquiao’s Endorsement
US Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid whom Manny Pacquiao endorsed emerged victorious in the recently concluded US midterm elections. Observers say Pacquiao’s endorsement was a huge factor in Reid’s win although it also helped that the senator didn’t attempt to discredit his opponent by releasing manufactured psychiatric reports.

La Greta’s Undies
Interviewed on ANC, actress Gretchen Barretto explained that she would never ever wear cheap panties because she was “always ready.” She didn’t say though if she’s ready to explain why her lips are the only part of her face that move.
———————————————-
“I went to the airport to check in and they asked what I did because I looked like a terrorist. I said I was a comedian. They said, “Say something funny then.” I told them I had just graduated from flying school.”
~Ahmed Ahmed

Barranda Out, Fullido In
From a very reliable source: Model Phoemela Barranda who hosts the showbiz segment ‘Star Patrol’ on TV Patrol will be replaced by Gretchen Fullido starting Monday, November 8. Ouch!

Survey Says
Alin ang mas patok para sa ‘yo:
– Kapuso Mo, Jessica Soho 50.61%
– Rated K 12.7%
– Wala sa dalawa! 36.68%

Personal
Kobe, Coach Phil, and the Los Angeles Lakers are on a 5-game winning streak. Is it June 2011 yet?

Naki-“paki” ang isang kaibigan mula sa UP. Dapat daw araw-araw, Araw ng mga Ina.

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Enjoy your weekend!

SCANDALICIOUS

Postscript to the Senate Probe
Senators found it particularly unbelievable and incredible that Jocjoc Bolante alone (as he claimed) could have caused the release of P728 million. The Senate has ordered a thorough review of Bolante’s appointment papers. They wanted to make sure he was appointed “undersecretary” and not “president.”

Journalists observed how cool Jocjoc Bolante was when he appeared before the Senate. Still, he was no match for Jinggoy Estrada who was in his usual “saksakan ng hangin” element during the hearing.

Guess who came at the Bolante hearing? Jun Lozada. Yup, the favorite witness of the La Salle community was even caught by tv cameras smiling. You know why? Because three more months with the La Salle Brothers, and he’ll be allowed to officiate his first mass.

Top 5 Reasons Why It Took Some Time Before Retired PNP Director for Comptrollership Eliseo De La Paz Could Surrender to the Senate

5: His wife has just finished hiding vital pieces of evidence: the Louis Vuittons, Pradas, Dolce & Gabbanas, and Manolo Blahniks she purchased during the Moscow shopping spree.

4: He waited for another scandal to break open so the public would forget about the “Euro generals.” Unfortunately though, the only controversy that broke out after the “Moscow mess” was the dismissal of Cristy Fermin from “The Buzz.”

3: It took weeks before his superiors at the PNP & the DILG could decide whether to use the term “cash advance,” “contingency fund” or “intelligence fund” during the next hearing. Finally, they settled for… “bahala ka na.”

2. For weeks, he “wished” he had chest pains, esophagitis, gastritis, ulcers, and even a sleeping disorder but doctors at the St. Luke’s Medical Center repeatedly said, “No sir, you’re totally healthy. We cannot admit you.”

And the No. 1 reason why it took some time before retired PNP comptroller Eliseo De La Paz could surrender to the Senate…

1: He had to wait for the Senate hearing on Jocjoc Bolante to conclude. And after watching the proceedings, he realized, “If Jocjoc survived Jinggoy, I will survive Miriam.”

________
And nobody lies as much as the indignant do.
–Friedrich Nietzsche

YOU’VE GOT MALE!

Senate Anomaly?
An obviously scared Panfilo Lacson excluded El Shaddai leader Mike Velarde in his privilege speech on the alleged budget insertions last Monday. But Jamby Madrigal says she is filing a resolution calling for another Senate probe on the matter and assured that Velarde will be investigated. This has just confirmed rumors Jamby’s got more balls than Ping.

Senate President Manuel Villar denied having knowledge of the alleged Senate insertions. Joker Arroyo defended Villar while Alan Peter Cayetano lashed back at Ping Lacson. Asked if she knew anything about insertions, Jamby Madrigal replied, “I wish!”

Sen. Joker Arroyo, a close friend of Senate President Villar, vowed to block any move that will lead to the investigation of the scandal… to which Sen. Mar Roxas said, “’Di bale, bahala na si Korina at ang DZMM d’yan!”

Watching from the sidelines, former senator John Osmeña said he misses Senate debates so much, “especially these days when they’re talking about something I am so fond of and particular with. You know, insertions.”

From Girl to Boy
For proving that her body is manifesting natural occurring male characteristics, a 27-year-old woman named Jennifer was allowed by the Supreme Court to change her gender entries in her birth certificate as well as her name. She is now adopting the name Jamby.

Lozada’s Fight
Despite a recent legal setback, NBN-ZTE scandal star witness Jun Lozada vows to “continue with the fight.” Unfortunately though, he’ll be alone in the fight this time because his fans, the La Salle Brothers will be busy watching another fight – Ateneo vs. La Salle.

Gabby Concepcion vs. Mommy Rose
Actor Gabby Concepcion wants to pre-terminate his five-year contract with talent manager Rose Flaminiano saying he doesn’t really know her that well – the same defense he gave when he terminated his four previous marriages.

Overseas…
A man was arrested in the Nigerian capital of Abuja for allegedly breaking the law when he married 86 women and fathered more than a hundred children. The man vows to defend his case and if acquitted, plans to immigrate to Manila and run for president.

DROP IT LIKE IT’S HOT

null Lolit, Sam, and Piolo

Entertainment columnist Lolit Solis retracts.
Sam Milby and Piolo Pascual drop 12-million peso libel case.
Yehey! Straight na ulit sila.

Lolit, Sam, and Piolo II

Lolit Solis retracted her earlier statement that she saw an intimate Sam Milby and Piolo Pascual at the poolside of Hotel Sofitel last year. Solis blamed her age (she’s turning 61 on May 20) for the mistake. THIS JUST IN: Lolit Solis has admitted that the two guys that she actually saw at the poolside of Sofitel were Romulo “Piolo” Neri and Jun “Sam” Lozada.

null Good News, Bad News

Good News: Sa ginawang kalokokan, Lolit Solis umamin na!
Bad News: Meralco at Napocor, hindi pa!

Good News: Lolit Solis umamin na, humingi ng sorry
Bad News: Lolit Solis puwede nang maging presidente

Good News: Malacañang, hina-hunting ang nagpakalat ng picture ng First Couple habang nag-go-golf sa China
Bad News: Lolit Solis pinagbibintangan

Good News: GMA’s House allies to file class suit vs. Meralco
Bad News: Meralco – to hire lawyer of Sam and Piolo (Panalo!)

Good News: Sa kasong libelo vs Lolit Solis: Katotohanan lumantad na!
Bad News: Sam at Piolo hindi pa

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MRS. PRESIDENT!

null Bunye and Erap

According to Press Secretary Ignacio Bunye, ex-president Joseph Estrada called him up to relay his birthday wishes to President Arroyo. But Estrada refuses to confirm Bunye’s claim. Fortunately for Bunye, ISAFP soldiers allegedly have a taped copy of the conversation.

null Top 5 Birthday Gifts Received But Reportedly Trashed by President Arroyo

5: A new book titled: “S is for Sassafras: 101 Ways to Cure Speech Defects”

4: A lifetime subscription to the Philippine Daily Inquirer

3: A serving of pork, a kilo of rice, a sack of fertilizer, a ballot box, and a new SIM card (promise, hindi siya tapped)

2: Free broadband connection

And the No. 1 birthday gift received but allegedly trashed by President Arroyo…

1: A Gift Certificate that entitles her to a private “healing mass” with Fr. Fernando Suarez plus a bonus Holy Communion from Archbishop Oscar Cruz if the healing mass turns out to be “successful.”

The AFP and the Spratlys

The military is reportedly planning to convert the Spratlys into a tourist destination. The bad news: tourist will be allowed to visit the islands only if they carried Chinese visa.

More JLo Rallies

Rodolfo “Jun” Lozada vowed to continue with his public appearances (despite alleged attempts by some groups to ruin his credibility) until the public has known the truth – or maybe, until such time his handlers have collected enough donation for his “sanctuary fund.”

Bong Revilla Cries

According to his talent manager, Sen. Bong Revilla couldn’t stop crying when his 19-year-old daughter Inah announced her plan to get married next month. A huge number of Filipinos had the same reaction when the Comelec announced Bong’s victory as a senator a few years back.

Boxers Win

Official event broadcaster ABS-CBN trumpeted the wins of three Filipino boxers in the fight dubbed INVASION held at the Araneta Coliseum Saturday. The results of the fights were so lopsided boxing analysts tend to believe the invaders were actually women pretending to be men.

Japan’s Oldest Dies

Japan’s oldest person, 113-year-old Kaku Yamanaka, has died at a hospital in her home city of Yatomi in Aichi prefecture. Yamanaka had 25 grand children, 15 great grand children, and 12 great great grand children. She died of exhaustion… after reading children’s stories to all of them.

Soulja Boys in Prison

Over two million people have clicked the URL of the video showing Cebu inmates dancing to Souljaboy’s hit Crank That.

CHICKEN CROSSING (VERSION 2008)

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Here’s why according to controversial Filipino personalities (government officials, politicians, prominent businessmen, and local celebrities):

21: Lolit Solis: “Ma at pa! Basta! Sure ako sa aking nakita! Tumawid ang manok na ‘yan at may kasama pa siyang isa. Hinding-hindi ako magre-retract.”

20: ABS-CBN: “Somebody manipulated the chicken into crossing the road and we believe that the manipulator comes from another network.”

19: GMA 7: “We strongly condemn the insinuation that we were involved in the manipulation of the chicken. We will take this baseless allegation to court to clear our name.”

18: Juan Manuel Marquez: “To do some unfinished business.”

17: Manny Pacquiao: “I don’t agree. For me, business is over.”

16: Tim Yap/The Gucci Gang: “To party! (And snort some stuff.)”

15: Bb. Pilipinas-World Janina San Miguel: “Oh I’m sorry. A-ha-ha. I’m only 17 years old. I did not expect that the chickens is a tough hens.”

14: MMDA Chairman Bayani Fernando: “Pano’ng di tatawid ‘yan eh wala nang madaanan sa sidewalk. Okupado ng vendors!”

13: Joseph Estrada: “A legal study shows that the chicken can still cross the road even if it has failed to complete its first attempt to get to the other side.”

12: Albay Gov. Joey Salceda: “The important thing is the chicken didn’t get run over. Such a lucky bitch!”

11: Cory Aquino: “Why did the chicken cross the road? Let us all pray so that the truth will come out.”

10: President Arroyo: “I reiterate: my government is focused on the economy. We will not be bothered by the noise created by some fowls marching in some streets.”

9: CBCP: “We are also for the truth and we believe that no one should prevent witnesses from talking. But please, leave the chicken alone and let it finish its journey to the other side!”

8: Sen. Joker Arroyo: “Don’t mess around with my chicken!”

7: Sen. Jamby Madrigal: “Let’s subpoena the chicken and ask why. If it refuses to talk, I will expose its secrets.”

6: Sen. Panfilo Lacson: “I have a surprise witness who will tell us why the chicken crossed the road. Ladies and gentlemen… my witness!”

5: Leo San Miguel: “Aba malay ko! Wala akong alam d’yan.”

4: Benjamin Abalos: “Preposterous! I categorically deny na nagbanta akong ipapapatay ang manok na ‘yan kaya biglang tumawid sa kabila!”

3: CHEd Chairman Romulo Neri: “I heard that motorists always try to beat the red light in that street. I believe the chicken crossed the road to moderate their speed.”

2: Jun Lozada: “Kinabahan kasi ang chicken nang lapitan ito ng tatlong tandang na hindi nagpakilala. Naalala tuloy niya ang nangyari noon kina McChicken at Chickenjoy… kinidnap tapos pinatay.”

And the No. 1 answer to the question, “Why did the chicken cross the road?”

1: First Gentleman Mike Arroyo: “You keep saying that the chicken crossed the road but where is your evidence!? Maglabas muna kayo ng ebidensya!”

HERE’S TWO MORE:
Philippine Daily Inquirer (Banner Story): “Unnamed sources say the chicken crossed the road to lay eggs”

Two days later…

Philippine Daily Inquirer (Erratum): “We would like to apologize to the chicken. It couldn’t possibly lay eggs as what we have previously reported because the chicken was in fact – a rooster!”

Enjoy your vacation!

WHAAAAPAC!

Victory for Pacquiao

Filipino boxing great Manny Pacquiao won against WBC super-featherweight champ Juan Manuel Marquez, successfully stealing the world title from the Mexican pugilist. First Gentleman Mike Arroyo, Cong. Jose De Venecia, and other Filipino politicians who intently watched the fight, were able to relate with Manny. I mean, not to his winning but – to the “stealing.”

First Gentleman Mike Arroyo, recently tagged as a member of the “Greedy Group,” personally called Manny Pacquiao after the latter’s triumph against Marquez. Rumors say Mr. Arroyo and Pacquiao talked about “the cut.” As of press time though, it couldn’t be determined if the “cut” being referred to was Manny’s wound or “something else.”

In a post fight interview, veteran sports columnist and boxing analyst Recah Trinidad said, “Objectively, Marquez should have won that fight by one point.” It wouldn’t surprise me if the Senate files a resolution calling for a probe.

Manny Pacquiao earned a hard-fought victory against Mexican champion Juan Manuel Marquez sending the whole nation into a frenzy. Rodolfo “Jun” Lozada’s 15 minutes of fame could soon be over.

null Manny Pacquiao won against Juan Manuel Marquez. After winning the title, he was interviewed on live television by an American sports anchor. And believe me, this high school graduate spoke English way better than the Bb. Pilipinas-World titlist who’s a masscom major.

Briefly Noted

null

Almost two hours after Manny Pacquiao won over Juan Manuel Marquez, GMA 7 started its exclusive delayed coverage of the fight. So delayed was the telecast that even before the winner was declared, Marquez has already landed in his hometown in Mexico.

GMA 7 took advantage of its exclusive coverage rights and inserted advertisements in every opportunity. In the singing of the Philippine, Mexican, and the US national anthems alone, the Kapuso network inserted three long gaps for its sponsors – somehow forcing Filipino viewers to set a Guinness record of sorts for the highest number of profanity uttered while watching a single TV special. (“Put*ng ina, patalastas na naman!” “Hayup naman ‘tong channel na to, tambak ang commercials!” “F*ck! Another commercial gap!?” “Sh*t patalastas ulit!” The list is endless.)

GMA 7’s coverage of “Unfinished Business” – the Pacquiao vs. Marquez fight, attracted quite a number of advertisers. In fact, so great was the number of ads that GMA 7’s coverage of the next Pacquiao fight will be dubbed “Unfinished Commercials.”

null Starlet Ciara Sotto, daughter of a former Philippine senator, sang the Philippine National Anthem before the Pacquiao-Marquez fight. Wala lang.

Jinggoy Estrada denied that he left the country to watch Manny Pacquiao’s fight in Las Vegas as erroneously reported by the Philippine Daily Inquirer in its banner story Saturday. Estrada said, “This is another case of malicious news reporting, without checking the facts or even getting the reaction of the concerned individual.” But don’t be too hard on the Inquirer. It’s just being consistent.

Good News: Dahil sa panalo, Pacquiao may pangakong balato sa mga Pilipino
Bad News: Pangakong balato… isang pelikulang bago! (Parang awa mo na, magboksing ka na lang!)

IN OTHER NEWS…

A son of Manila Mayor Alfredo Lim has been arrested in a drug buy-bust operation in Sta. Cruz, Manila Friday night. Apparently, because Lim was so busy spraying other suspected drug dealers’ houses with “Pusher ang nakatira dito,” he didn’t notice that a similar activity was going on in his own home.

Have a great week ahead!

“NO, I DON’T FEEL ANY PRESSURE RIGHT NOW!”

null The Running Man

Former president Joseph Estrada has confirmed that he is signing a movie contract with Star Cinema next month. I think that just answered the question, “whose presidential bid will ABS-CBN and the Lopezes support in 2010?”

The Running Man II

Former president Joseph Estrada said that he is not seeking the presidency in 2010 but, “if the people want me to run, who am I to turn them down?” Oh, just cut the crap! You’re running. Period.

Unity Walk

Following the unity walk with military and police officials, the members of the cabinet, local government officials, and congressmen, it was the turn of some 1000 students and youth to stage a unity walk with President Arroyo in Malacañang. Unconfirmed rumors say the “Greedy Group” has also expressed interest in doing the unity walk to show their support for her but Malacañang has politely declined because – their asking price was just too high. Baka bumukol.

null Lozada Laments

Rodolfo “Jun” Lozada lamented that due to the “current situation,” his kids at La Salle Greenhills couldn’t even travel or go on a summer vacation. Worse, their father has decided to do some traveling of his own.

Lozada Laments II

Rodolfo “Jun” Lozada lamented that due to the “current situation,” his children couldn’t even go on a summer vacation. Of course, that could easily be resolved – if only he would spend time with them!

A Huge Fan of Lozada

During a Lozada rally in the Visayas, a nun stood from the crowd and admitted that while it was her first time to see Jun Lozada in person, she immediately fell for his charms. “I was enamored,” she excitedly told him. That’s what I call… sister in low.

Briefly Noted

Rodolfo “Jun” Lozada so enjoys taking the rostrum, if he is elected congressman, he’ll surely seek the Speakership.

Super Lotto

Nobody won Thursday night’s 162 million-peso jackpot in the PCSO’s Super Lotto draw. Chances are… panalo na naman ang mga obispo!

What The Girl Wants null

Janina San Miguel, the Bb. Pilipinas-World titlist who became an instant YouTube sensation primarily because of her grammatical gaffe during the pageant’s Q&A portion revealed that she wanted to be a reporter. This Just In: Since Ms San Miguel knows how to apologize for committing huge mistakes, the Philippine Daily Inquirer is reportedly interested in employing her after graduation.

What the Girl Needs

Bb. Pilipinas pageant judge, Vivienne Tan, president of the Entrepreneurs School of Asia has offered newly-crowned beauty queen Janina San Miguel a crash course in English. I’m sure… she’s plattered.

What the Girl Needs II

The good news: Technical Education Skills and Development Authority (TESDA) chief Augusto Syjuco has offered Janina San Miguel a crash course in English. The bad news: After finishing the crash course, she is required to take Welding 101.
What the Girl Needs III

Vivienne Tan and TESDA have offered an English crash course for Janina San Miguel. Sought for a reaction on the twin offer, Janina replied, “Ay baka di ko kayanin. Takot akong sumakay ng eroplano eh!”

Quote of the Previous Week

Paolo Bediones: You’ve won two major awards: Best in Swimsuit and Best in Long Gown. Do you feel any pressure right now?
Janina: No! I don’t feel any pressure right now. (How profound!)

Just a thought, would President Arroyo give the same response if she’s asked the same question today?

Have a safe weekend!

null Personal

Smooth jazz, anyone? XFM92.3 is the new home of smooth jazz in Mega Manila. Click here for details.

SURPRISE!

GMA and the Olympics null

President Arroyo will attend the opening of the 29th Summer Olympics in Beijing this year. Rumors say there has just been an ex-deal between Mrs. Arroyo and the Chinese government: China gives her reserved seats in the stadium; RP gives China oil reserves at the Spratlys. Fair enough?

null GMA and the Olympics II null

President Arroyo will attend the opening of the 29th Summer Olympics in Beijing this year. Rumors say she’ll then meet with Chinese President Hu Jintao to talk about the possibility of co-hosting the 2018 Asian Games – at the Spratly Islands.

null “Surprise Witness”

The Philippine Daily Inquirer’s top story Sunday claimed that former Phil. National Oil Company president Eduardo Mañalac is the new “surprise witness” who will testify before the Senate on the NBN ZTE anomaly. However, a stunned Mañalac strongly denied the report of the Inquirer. After reading the paper, Mañalac thus became a “surprised witness.”

“Surprise Witness” II

The Philippine Daily Inquirer‘s top story Sunday claimed that former Phil. National Oil Company president Eduardo Mañalac is the new “surprise witness” who will testify before the Senate on the NBN ZTE scandal. However, the report has been categorically denied by Mañalac himself, the Senate through Sen. Panfilo Lacson, and NBN ZTE whistleblower Joey De Venecia. Mañalac may have been surprised by the Inquirer report – but for regular readers of the paper? Wala ‘yon! Sanay na kami sa Inquirer!

“Surprise Witness” III

An infuriated Eduardo Mañalac has written the Philippine Daily Inquirer and categorically denied its banner story Sunday claiming he was the Senate’s next “surprise” star witness on the NBN ZTE deal. Mañalac said, “Worse than hearsay, this article is a complete falsehood,” and hinted that he might take legal action against the Inquirer. This “star witness” is mad but right now, another star must be smiling and glad – The Philippine Star!

Cory’s Plea

Former President Corazon Aquino appealed to the public to pray for the Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines to reconsider its original stand not to call for the resignation of President Arroyo. Let’s see which is more powerful: Cory or the PCSO – Pera o Prayer?

Lozada’s Wish

The other day, ZTE NBN deal witness Rodolfo “Jun” Lozada said “I’m getting my life back and I want to live a normal life.” And in case you didn’t notice, he has started living his so-called “normal life” by touring the whole archipelago – absolutely for free. Sweet!

JDV and Lakas

According to Cong. Jose De Venecia’s lawyer Raul Lambino, JDV will not leave Lakas-CMD because he will be the “konsensya” of Lakas. Hmmm, tell me: a party without conscience and a party with De Venecia as its conscience… what’s the difference?

null Morato and Lozada

PCSO director Manoling Morato lambasted ZTE NBN witness Jun Lozada saying he is as fake as his name. Sought for his reaction on Morato’s rant, Lozada allegedly replied, “No comment po ako d’yan kasi sabi po ng tatay ko… hindi dapat pinapatulan ang mga babae.”

Bad Education

Check out the latest YouTube sensation: 2008 Bb. Pilipinas-World Janina San Miguel.

Have a great week ahead!

JUNKED!

null EO 464 Scrapped

President Arroyo has officially scrapped EO 464 which barred government officials from testifying in congressional inquiries. Following her revocation of the directive though, President Arroyo ordered officials of the executive branch to attend scriptwriting workshops a day before each congressional hearing.

EO 464 Scrapped II

President Arroyo has decided to scrap EO 464 which barred government officials from testifying in congressional inquiries… reportedly sending chills down the spine of CHEd Chairman Romulo Neri who couldn’t imagine himself “coming out” in front of senators live on ANC!

null The Deal on Spratlys

Reports say President Arroyo entered into an agreement with China in 2004 allowing it to explore the disputed Spratly Islands in exchange for an $8-billion loan package. Teka lang, is there a way to check if we still are Filipinos?! Baka pati Pilipinas nabenta na, hindi lang natin alam.

JDV on Spratly Deal

Former House Speaker Jose De Venecia denied that the Spratly deal is tied to loans from China. Hanggang ngayon ba naman, in denial pa rin si JDV na nuknukan rin sha ng katiwalian?

Erap on Succession

Pardoned plunderer and former president Joseph Estrada said that “I have the constitutional right to replace President Arroyo because I was unconstitutionally removed.” Constitutionally… just shut up!

Erap on Noli

Pardoned plunderer Joseph Estrada said he is not comfortable with Vice President Noli de Castro replacing President Arroyo. Actually, kami rin – sa inyong dalawa.

null JLo’s Sanctuary Fund

The good news is that the sanctuary fund for Jun Lozada has reached 2 million pesos. The bad news: that’s not enough to launch a senatorial campaign in 2010.

JLo’s School Tour

Handlers of Jun Lozada have arranged for him a nationwide high school graduation tour where he is expected to deliver speeches. That, in fact, is a wise move considering that members of this year’s graduating class would be 18 or older by 2010 and would definitely be eligible to vote.

Tabloid Headlines: ZTE NBN and Other News

Good News: Bagong testigo sa NBN ZTE deal lulutang
Bad News: Bagong testigo, sobrang ingat dahil ayaw niyang lumutang… sa Pasig River

Good News: Senado, may bagong “surprise witness”
Bad News: Surprise witness, lalabas sa isang giant cake (may clowns pang kasama)

Good News: Bagong “surprise witness” ng Senado, hawak ni Senador Lacson
Bad News: Hawak ni Lacson? Anong surprising do’n?

Good News: Senador Lacson may bagong “surprise star witness”
Bad News: Jun Lozada, kinakabahan; takot matalbugan

Good News: Senators to unveil new star witness
Bad News: Pero belo ni Neri, ‘di nila ma-unveil

Quote of the Week

TV host/manager Lolit Solis’ reply to another scribe when the latter asked: “Sa palagay ‘po n’yo bakit maraming babae ang nagkakagusto kay Senator Bong (Revilla)?”:

“Eh kasi nga dakila si Bong noh! Malaki ang nota n’yan kaya maraming babae ang na-e-elya elya sa kanya. Kahit maglaway pa kayo sa nota ni Bong, si Lani pa rin ang legal wife noh!”

Enjoy your weekend!