AT A TOWN HALL EVENT held Thursday at La Consolacion College in Manila, President Aquino gave his report on his first 100 days in office. Just like what he did in his first SONA, the President began with the basics or ABCs – Arroyo Bashing Comments.
President Aquino compared the previous administration to the pictorial maxim of the three wise monkeys who “see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil.” Insulted allies of former President Arroyo vow to retaliate as soon as they get out of their cage.
The President lamented, “Malalim at malawak po ang mga problemang minana natin.” Someone in the audience was heard asking, “Ilang ektarya ba ang Hacienda Luisita?”
President Aquino also reported, “Naisaayos natin sa loob lamang ng isandaang araw ang hindi nagawa ng dating administrasyon sa loob ng tatlong libo, apat na raan, apatnapu’t walong (3,448) araw.” And former President Arroyo was like, “Oh yeah, you had eight Hong Kong nationals killed.”
The President also said, “Paulit-ulit po nating ididiin: trabaho ang pangunahing agenda ng ating administrasyon.” Now we know why Enrico Puno still has a job.
The Chief Executive also boasted, “Nagkakaisa nang muli ang ating lipunan.” Then everyone at the venue felt awkward when he added, “’Yan din dasal ko para sa aking gabinete.”
Citing recent progress in the weather bureau, President Aquino said, “Maling sistema at maling palakad ang nanligaw sa pagtataya ng panahon.” – to which Dr. Prisco Nilo said, “Can we just move on?”
In his report to the nation, President Aquino did not mention anything about jueteng, his controversial shooting buddy Enrico Puno, and the reported factions in the Cabinet. Hear no evil. See no evil. Speak no evil.
President Aquino likewise slammed people whom he described as, “mga kapit-tuko sa puwesto.” At home, monitoring the speech on TV, napalunok na lang ang pamilya Binay.
When President Aquino delivered his report to the nation on his first 100 days, members of his official cabinet came in full force – amid the reported conflict between the Balay Group and the Samar Group. Other attendees said there was no tension whatsoever between the two factions. It was like AKRho and Tau Gamma in a truce.
The Q&A Portion
After his speech, the President held a town hall meeting with sectoral representatives. The Q&A portion went smoothly as planned. Practice makes perfect!
Some people said President Aquino’s town hall meeting on Thursday appeared to be scripted. In fact, did you hear about the “student-hecklers” from UP Manila? They read their protest slogans from the teleprompter.
Student leaders from UP Manila “interrupted’ President Aquino’s town hall meeting at La Consolacion College Thursday. The President managed to keep his cool though. But a tense moment still ensued when Manila Mayor Alfredo Lim suddenly appeared and yelled, “Posasan na rin ang mga ‘yan! Dalhin n’yo sa Tondo!”
When a group of student leaders interrupted his meeting with sectoral representatives, tv cameras caught President Aquino with a shocked stare. The only other time he wore the same expression was when Shalani Soledad told him, “We’re done!”
While President Aquino was talking about cures for the problems of the country, his sister Kris was tweeting about remedies for her FMD. Magkapatid nga sila!
The President’s Sister
Kris Aquino, the president’s youngest sister told the whole world via Twitter that she has foot and mouth disease. In less than 24 hours, the tweet has become viral.
Kris Aquino has FMD. Joey Marquez has denied responsibility for the viral infection.
Did you hear the news? President Aquino’s sister, Kris Aquino is sick. She has FMD. Nah, not ‘Fresh Meat Deficiency.’ It’s foot and mouth disease.
Actually, Kris Aquino has been tweeting about her FMD for almost a year now. Nahh, not FMD as in foot and mouth disease. It’s her other FMD: ‘First Marriage in Disarray.’
On her Twitter account, Kris Aquino said, “Rare daw for an adult to get hawa but u know me — lapitin ng sakit.” Dahil d’yan, may nagteexxxt: “Correction: ikaw ang lumalapit. – Sakit.”
According to a recent survey conducted by Social Weather Stations, 7 of 10 Filipinos were satisfied with President Aquino’s performance. The other three were monkeys.
“We believe that to err is human. To blame it on someone else is politics.”
Less than a week after the reported break up of President Aquino and Valenzuela City Councilor Shalani Soledad, people are now talking about the President’s new apple of the eye. According to dzRH news anchors Deo Macalma and Ruth Abao, the new girl is a junior reporter of TV5. She’s a former child actress and former UP court side reporter in the UAAP. My gulay! She’s too young! May plano ba ang Pangulo na palitan sa trono si Mang Dolphy? The reporter’s name? Patricia Ann Roque.
Reacting to the rumor,Trish tweeted The Professional Heckler. She said
“Huwaaat?! No! I don’t get to talk to PNoy naman eh. Wow, where did that come from?! The last time na na-cover ko sya was his first weekend as president. Yun na yun. Lord, why me?! Hahahaha!”
This just in: Palace insiders denied rumors that President Aquino’s all-time favorite movie is Daddy’s Angel (starring Patricia Ann Roque and ex-basketeer Jayvee Gayoso). Who’s your daddy Patricia? Who’s your daddy! 🙂 Good luck! 🙂
Prangkahan na. Ano ka:
– Pro-choice. Pass the Reproductive Health Bill! Now na! 88.77%
– Pro-life. No to Reproductive Health Bill! Never! 9.77%
– Hindi ko alam ang isyu. 1.46%
We have a new survey. Please vote now.
ABS-CBN News (Lynda Jumilla): PNoy’s 1st 100 days marked by factionalism
Earth Times.Org: Aquino on track despite missteps in first 100 days
Newsbreak: ‘Honorable candidate’ left his girl again?
Postscript: See photo of the three monkeys above. Nagkataon lang pong kahawig ng dating pangulo ‘yong third monkey. Hindi po sinadya ‘yon.