FAMILY AFFAIR

SENATOR KOKO PIMENTEL guested on the comedy show ‘Gandang Gabi Vice’ last Sunday. The re-electionist senator sang a Billy Joel hit and gamely performed the latest dance craze – PSY’s hit single Oppa Gangnam Style Mo Bulok!

During the interview, Senator Koko Pimentel revealed that he’s a Math major in college. In fact he taught us a math lesson that evening: Popular TV Show + Song and Dance Number + 2013 Elections = Alam Na!

Ex-future Senator Joel
TESDA Director General Joel Villanueva has dropped his plan to run for senator next year. But the former party-list solon who ranked 24th–32nd in the latest SWS senatorial survey said, “Even if I was in the Top 12 Survey, it wouldn’t affect my decision.” And President Aquino was like, “LP’s decision!”

Dynasty
If recent surveys are any indication, starting next year, the Senate will have two Cayetanos, two Estradas, and two Enriles. And that’s too much!

Next year, there will be two Cayetanos, two Estradas, and two Enriles in the Senate. How do you explain such travesty to the little children?

The theme of the Philippine Senate starting next year is “Sama-Sama Sa Senado Pamilyang Pilipino.”

Cam Sur
One of Bicol’s political dynasties, the Villafuertes are still feuding. The senior Villafuerte wants to divide Camarines Sur; the junior Villafuerte wants to keep it intact. I didn’t know they own the province.

Pacquiao
Manny Pacquiao will be the official Congressional candidate in Sarangani of the United Nationalists Alliance or UNA next year. Pacquiao, who first ran as a Liberal in 2007, became a member of Gloria Arroyo’s Kampi in 2008, and later, pledged allegiance to Manny Villar’s Nacionalista Party for the 2010 polls. He then announced his plans to join President Aquino’s Liberal Party. Last April, he formally took his oath as a member of Vice President Binay’s PDP-Laban. Pacquiao is definitely channeling his inner Muhammad Ali. You know, “float like a butterfly.”

LP 2013
Have you seen the Liberal Party slate for next year’s 2013 midterm elections? It’s everything but Liberal!

Colegio San Agustin
Did you hear the news about the gun-toting incident at Colegio San Agustin? Here’s a backgrounder: Boy 1 repeatedly bullied Boy 2. Boy 2 thought he’s had enough, retaliated and stabbed Boy 1 with a pen. Then came the bully’s father, Allan Bantiles who stormed the school premises, confronted and slapped the 16-year-old bullying victim and pointed a .45 caliber at him. The incident happened last month but the police has yet to charge the suspect. In other news, Colegio San Agustin has just been declared “The Most Gun-Friendly School” in the metro. Congratulations!

Gun-toting suspect Allan Bantiles has declined to grant media interviews and refused to face journalists. Unless the journalist is 16-years-old.

SWS Survey
According to the latest Social Weather Stations survey, fewer Filipinos think that they are poor. Sus, gutom lang ‘yan.

Not Showing
Several groups have asked the government to ban the public exhibition of the controversial film “Innocence of Muslims,” which, they described as offensive. I hope they do the same thing to the movies of Mikey Arroyo and Manny Pacquiao.

Jesus!
According to reports, a fragment of a faded papyrus from the fourth century suggests Jesus Christ may have been married. And the best way to validate the claim is to gather first-hand information. Let’s ask Senator Enrile.
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“Earth provides enough to satisfy every man’s needs, but not every man’s greed.”
~ Mahatma Gandhi

Quote of the Day
“Matapos ang buwang pagluhod sa pananalangin, pag-aayuno, at maging pakikipag-ugnayan ko sa aking kababayan, buong pagpapakumbabang nagdesisyon po ako na manatili sa gabinete ni Pangulong Aquino at ituloy ang pagsisilbi sa bayan.”
~TESDA Director General Joel Villanueva

Personal
Congratulations to the UP Pep Squad! You’ve made 8 happen! Woohoo!!!

Have a safe and productive week!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

THE EPAL QUIZ II

“The truth is, attention seekers are looking for validation. They want to know that they are worthy.”
~Author Unknown


1: Ayon sa larawan, may ‘Good News’ daw mula sa Kongreso! Question: Ano ‘yon?
A: Pinapayagan nang idisplay ang mukha ng chief of staff sa billboards at tarps
B: Hindi lang pagpapalawak ng kalye ang allowed; pagpapalawak rin ng papel
C: Extended hanggang Book 5 ang ‘Walang Hanggan’ ni Goma.


2: Question: Anong tanong ang unang pumasok sa iyong isip nang makita mo ang larawang ito?
A: Libreng scholarship, libreng training, libreng pagpapagamot, at libreng Mercury Drug?!? Namimigay na pala ngayon ng drug store sa Quezon City??
B: Wala bang nararamdaman ni katiting na hiya ang mga Castelo kapag nakikita nila ang kanilang mukha at pangalan sa kabi-kabilang billboard?
C: Wala. ‘Yan ang sagot sa B. Final answer.


3: It’s Passporting Day! Libreng passport! Wow. Question: Ano ang relevance ng higanteng larawan ng kongresista sa proyekto?
A: That’s her passport to a fresh term in Congress.
B: Kung wala ang larawan niya, ulap lang ang makikita. Sayang ang space.
C: Wala kang karapatang kwestyunin si Congresswoman. Apat na oras ‘yan sa parlor. So pleease… appreciate naman the effort.


4: Ang larawang ito ay kuha malapit sa Basilica Minore De Peñafrancia sa Naga City. Question: Kailangan ba talagang naka-imprenta lagi ang pangalan ni Joel Villanueva sa lahat ng tarps ng TESDA?
A: Natural! Alangan namang pangalan mo ang ilagay! Sino ka ba? ‘Di ka naman senatoriable. Siyempre, pangalan niya!
B: Luke 23:34 Ama, patawarin mo siya sapagkat hindi niya nalalaman ang kaniyang ginagawa.
C: Kung makareklamo naman kayo, daig n’yo pa ang presidente! Kung si Pangulong Aquino nga, tinu-tolerate siya, who are you to complain?


5: Question: Kung bibigyan ka ng pagkakataong magtanong kay Manila Councilor Ramon Morales, ano ang itatanong mo?
A: Konsehal, pera n’yo ba ang ipinambili sa firetuck?
B: Hindi ba na-insecure si Mayor Lim dahil mas maliit ang kanyang pangalan?
C: Kung aalisin ba ang pangalan n’yo sa firetruck, hindi ba ito tatakbo?


6: Question: Anong ibig sabihin nito?
A: Move over Sinandomeng, Wagwag, at Milagrosa. Heto na ang bagong variety, ‘Jonvic Remulla.’ Yum! Yum! Yum!
B: Kapag ang palay naging bigas, may bumayo… pulitiko!
C: Kung nabubuwisit ka sa label, eh ‘di ‘wag mong tanggapin! You have a choice: prinsipyo o pagkain?


7: Question: May mas gagarapal pa ba sa supposedly registration notice na ito sa Baclaran?
A: Meron. ‘Yong mukha ng wannabe congressman.
B: Hindi ko na problema ‘yan. Hindi ako taga-Baclaran!
C: Ayaw ni Winnie Castelo ng ganyan. He hates competition.


8: Sabi ng alkalde: Linisin Ikarangal ang Maynila. Anong sagot mo sa kanya?
A: You first!
B: O, anong kaepalan ‘to Mayor? Tanggalin mo na ‘yan.
C: O, gabi na. Bakit nand’yan pa rin ang mukha mo mayor?


9: Question: Anong masasabi mo sa proyektong ito ni Laguna Rep. Ivy Arago?
A: Why not? Ilang pares na boto rin ‘yan ‘noh! Sayang.
B: Para-paraan.
C: Mapapalampas ko na sana eh, kaya lang biglang nag- “I’ll VY With You Forever” Naknampoodle. Ang korni mo! ‘Kainis!


10: Question: Anong angkop na pamagat sa larawang ito?
A: Posteng yawa!
B: Here lies… Councilor Vincent Belmonte
C: Singkapal ng bato, sing-epal ng isang blokeng semento!

For a chance to win happiness, expose these EPAL politicians! Tama na, sobra na, tigilan na! No to EPALiticians!

In Other News
On Twitter, Camarines Sur Governor LRay Villafuerte’s son JULIO wondered if the late DILG Sec. Jesse Robredo had any major accomplishments. After a barrage of criticisms, Julio tweeted an apology – making it his first major accomplishment in life thus far.

New DILG Chief
President Aquino is being pressured to immediately appoint a new DILG Secretary to replace the late Jesse Robredo. The President is reportedly left with only two choices: Balay and Samar.

Harry in Trouble
Apparently, there’s a Prince Harry naked video somewhere. And Vicki Belo was like, “Don’t look at me.”

Quotes of the Weak
“Been reading Jess Robredo tweets for weeks now. Someone please inform me of any major accomplishments Jess has done, coz I don’t know any.”
~Julio Villafuerte, son of Camarines Sur Governor LRay Villafuerte and grandson of Rep. Luis R. Villafuerte, Sr. (via Twitter)

Holes
NASA’s Mars Curiosity rover reportedly dug a deep hole. Unfortunately, that was nothing compared to the hole Tito Sotto dug for himself.

Enjoy the rest of the week!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

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For the images used in the Epal Quiz II, thank you so much:
Epal Watch, No More Epal FB Page, Support the Anti-Epal Bill FB Page, Mary Jane Cruz, Reyfrancis Cosico, Wiggi Sanarez, @BenTCinco, @JannsMed, @mendozil, @dkarlocastro, and @mlsmedina.

EXCLUSIVE: ‘HABAGAT’ BREAKS SILENCE

FOR ALMOST THREE DAYS, the metro and several Luzon provinces reeled from heavy downpour. The flooding submerged 60 percent of Metro Manila. By Friday noon, the death toll would reach 60.

What hit us was not even a typhoon. It didn’t have a name. On Twitter, I wrote:


Weather experts described it as southwest monsoon rains. A monsoon is a wind system that brings heavy rainfall. Locally, we call it ‘habagat.’

Earlier today, ‘Habagat’ chatted with this blogger. Here’s the transcript of that exclusive interview.

Kumusta ka na Habagat?

Ok naman. Medyo nilalamig pa rin. Ikaw, kayo ‘musta?

Ay, salamat naman sa concern. Heto, may mahigit animnapung kababayan ang namatay at 850,000 ang na-displace; may sampung lungsod at munisipalidad sa Metro Manila, at anim na lalawigan ang nasa ilalim ng state of calamity, at more than 150 million pesos ang halaga ng nasirang pananim. Mabuting-mabuti naman!

Hindi ka pa galit n’yan?

Ay hindi. Ang bait-bait nga namin sa ‘yo eh. ‘Kita mo naman, all smiles pa rin kami kahit binugbog na ng dala mong ulan, baha, hangin at kung anu-ano pa. Sino ka ba talaga? Kung nagpapapansin ka, well, congrats! Tagumpay ka. Pero sana, naging ganap na bagyo ka na lang para madaling makilala.

Excuse me, hindi ako nagpapapansin. In fact, malamig ang pakikitungo ko sa inyo. But in fairness to some of your kababayan, sobrang hospitable nila sa akin.

Wehhh? Inis nga sa ‘yo ang marami eh.

I said some, not majority. Why did I say hospitable? Lunes ng hapon, grabe na ang aking ulan. Sinabihan na silang lumikas. Pero anong sagot nila, “Mababa pa naman ang tubig. Baka titila rin.” Boom! Ako naman, hala, sige, ulan. Moment ko ‘to so go lang. The rest, as the cliché goes, is history. ‘Tapos ako pa ang sisisihin ngayon?

Sige, ikaw na ang magaling. Ikaw na ang walang kasalanan.

Thank you. Pero hanga ako sa government n’yo huh. Alerto! Kahit medyo sumablay ang PAGASA sa pagbasa sa galaw ko, naitawid n’yo pa rin ang week na ‘to na walang sinisibak ang inyong Pangulo. At may Project Noah pa kayo. Impressive.

Speaking of Noah, alam mo bang kumalat sa social networking sites na may kuneksyon ka raw sa Genesis? Noong kasagsagan kasi ng ulan mo, ang petsa ay 8/7/2012. Eh ‘yong tungkol sa Noah’s Ark, mababasa raw sa Genesis 8:7-12. Anong masasabi mo?

Hiyang-hiya naman ako sa creativity n’yo… mga ulol! Kung sino mang nagpasimuno n’yan at nag-aksaya ng oras to retweet o repost, I’ll give them an A for effort – na manakot. Pero nililinaw ko, walang kakune-kuneksyon kay Noah ang aking pagdating. Mas may kunek pa ako kay Gener.

Salamat sa paglilinaw. Heto pa: dahil daw sa pending RH Bill kaya bumabaha at umuulan nang walang tigil. Is this true?

Ang tatanga! Naturingang 86.567 percent ang functional literacy rate, ‘tapos ang bobobo. Nakakainis! Ayaw ko nang mag-elaborate. Baka ma-excommunicate ako.

Hanging habagat? Mai-excommunicate? Pa’no kaya ‘yon!?

Hoy! Si Lito Lapid nga naging senador! ‘Tapos si Anne Curtis, nagkaroon ng album at nag-platinum pa! Wala nang imposible sa mundo natin ngayon!


Bahala ka na nga! Anyway, nakita mo ba ang aming Pangulo sa Muntinlupa last Wednesday sa relief operations?

Relief operations ba ‘yon? Akala ko first day ng campaign ng Liberal Party for the midterm elections.

Sobra ka naman. Lahat na lang binigyan mo ng kulay.

So fault ko? Fault kong makitang kumakaway ang napakagandang si Ms Rissa Hontiveros, ang Customs Commissioner na si Ruffy Biazon, ang dashing congressman na si Sonny Angara at ang direktor ng Tesda na si Joel Villanueva? Fault ko?

Sinabi ko bang fault mo?

Para kasing pinapalabas mong ang dumi-dumi ng utak ko. Sige, sige. Ako na ang madumi. Sige. Sabihin na nating nagkataon lang na silang apat ay kasama sa senatorial slate ng Liberal Party. Kunwari, hindi natin alam na eleksyon next year. Ok. Fine. I salute them. I admire their selflessness and their genuine desire to help the downtrodden. They are role models. Humahanga ako sa kanila!

Ang plastic mo!

Ulan, gusto mo?

Gago. Tama na. ‘Kita mo ngang ‘di pa kami nakakabangon.

Eh kasi naman nakakaduda eh. Lubog sa baha ang barangay, kasama mo ang head ng Tesda?!? Ano ‘yon, mamimigay ng scholarship? Magpa-facilitate ng training? May libreng haircut?

Again, huwag tayong manghusga. Ang importante, tumutulong sila sa mga nangangailangan.

Ang plastic mo!

Pakyu ka! Maiba ako, I’m sure nasaksihan mo ang pagbisita ng aming Pangulo sa Valenzuela.

Oo naman. Andun ulit si Joel Villanueva.

Hindi ka pa rin nakaka-move on kay Mr. Tesda?

Hahaha. May bago kasing tawag sa kanya sa Twitter eh. Presidential Shadow. O, hindi ako ang nagsabi n’yan huh. Nabasa ko lang sa Twitter.

Hanging Habagat? May Twitter?!!!??

Bakit? Si Erap nga taga-Maynila na eh. ‘Tapos si GMA, nakalaya. Wala nang imposible ngayon.

Fine! Moving on… kinilig ka ba nang batiin ni President Noy si Councilor Shalani Soledad nang magkita sila sa relief operations the other day?

Hanging habagat kinikilig? Weird.

Tarantado. Kunwari lang! ‘To naman o! Ang hirap kayang tapusin ng blog post na ‘to! Sumagot ka na lang. Please.

Ahm, let’s say, mas na-excite ang mga taong nando’n. Sigawan nga sila eh. Kilig na kilig ang mga pucha. Kakapanood ng PBB Teens, akala yata sixteen years old ang pangulo nila.

Ano sa palagay mo ang naramdaman ng dalawa?

Seriously? Well, parang ako lang. Malamig.

Sanga pala, kasabay ng pananalasa mo sa Luzon at NCR, nagtaas naman ng presyo ng kanilang mga produkto ang mga kompanya ng langis. Sa tingin mo, alin ang mas destructive? Ikaw o sila?

Helllloooo! Minamaliit mo ako?!? Kesyo nameless ako? Kesyo hindi ako naging ganap na bagyo?!? Siyempre, sila!


May mensahe ka ba sa mga biktima mo sa Pilipinas?

Nawalan lang ng tirahan, biktima na agad? ‘Di ba pwedeng ‘they had me coming’ muna? Illegal logging. Clogged drainage. Truck-truck na basurang kung saan-saan ‘tinatapon. Illegal settlers sa mga mapanganib na lugar. Kayo rin ang problema eh. Habagat pa lang ako huh. Just imagine kung naging ganap na bagyo ako.

Nagbabanta ka?

#justsaying.

Wow! Hanging habagat, huma-hashtag??!?

Magtanong ka na lang! Umaaraw na. Paalis na ako.

Ok, last. ‘Yong chopper na sinasakyan ni Pangulong Aquino patungong Central Luzon kanina, nag-emergency landing daw sa SCTEX. Any thoughts?

Alam mo, nasa Bible ’yan eh. Ang mababa ay itataas at ang mataas ay ibababa.

Gano’n? So, may kuneksyon talaga sa Bible ang chopper ng Presidente?!?

Meron.

Owwws?

Oo naman! Bakit? Sino bang kasama ng Pangulo papuntang Central Luzon kanina? ‘Yong head ng Tesda, si Joel Villanueva! May kunek ‘yon sa Bible!

Oo nga ‘noh! Ang utak mo talaga!

Hanging habagat, may utak? Kelan pa?

Ulol!
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“The hardest thing about any political campaign is how to win without proving that you are unworthy of winning.”
~Adlai E. Stevenson

#ReliefPH:
Complete list of Evacuation and Relief Operation Centers

Stay safe everyone!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

KRIS AQUINO’S SONA

Miriam Sues
Senator Miriam Defensor-Santiago has filed a P1.6-million damage suit against American Airlines for a delayed flight to Los Angeles two years ago during which she fell sick. American Airlines has issued a statement expressing shock at Santiago’s delayed reaction.

Too Late
Almost a month after CIBAC party list representative Joel Villanueva’s term ended, the Supreme Court ruled that he was not eligible for a House seat because he was over the age limit for a youth sector representative. In case you’re wondering what the acronym CIBAC stands for, it means Congressman Ineligible But Allotted CDF.

Former CIBAC party list representative Joel Villanueva, a son of evangelist and defeated presidential candidate Eddie Villanueva has been appointed director-general of the Technical Education and Skills Development Authority or TESDA. His appointment came as a bit of a surprise mainly because his father has yet to concede defeat to Noynoy.

Charge GMA
A survey conducted by the Makati-based StratPOLLS showed that 7 out of 10 Filipinos in Metro Manila wanted former President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo to be charged in court. Yup, 7 out of 10. The other three were Mikey, Dato, and Luli.

Preparing for SONA
President Aquino has started preparing for his first ever State of the Nation Address on July 26. In fact, this coming week he’ll be meeting with his cabinet members, speechwriters, and Paul Cabral.

Preparing for SONA II
The Philippine National Police has conducted a drill in preparation for President Aquino’s SONA next week. The cops were given instructions on how to provide security for special guests; how to handle militant protesters, and how to prevent a clash between Team Lacierda and Team Juana Change.

Kris to Miss Noy’s SONA
Currently vacationing in the US with her kids, Kris Aquino won’t be present when her Kuya Noy delivers his first State of the Nation Address on July 26. However, she promises to show up on ‘The Buzz’ come August 1 to deliver her “State of My Marriage Address.”

Top 12 Things Kris Aquino Would (Not) Say In Her SONA If She Were President

No. 12: “To my ABS-CBN family, Mr. Gabby Lopez, Ma’am Charo, Tita Cory Vidanes, Tita Malou Santos, Ms. Mariole Alberto, Deo Endrinal, Linggit Tan, and of course, my ‘Buzz’ and ‘SNN’ pals Boy Abunda, Ian Reyno and everyone na nandito ngayon sa Batasan, I wouldn’t be standing here if not for your full support. Thank you so much. Promise, babalik ako. Soon! (Gallery shouts: We love you Kris!!!) Wow, pati pala talents ng Star Magic andito lahat, Mr. M, thank you very much. Wait, is that Ai-ai in yellow? I love you friendsheeeeeep!”

No. 11: “With finality I can say, ako, sumuko na. Officially, mula po bukas ang buong bansa ay wala nang First Gentleman.”

No. 10: “Bago po ako humarap sa inyong lahat ngayong hapon, kinunsulta ko po muna sina Ate Ballsy, Ate Pinky, Kuya Noy, and Viel.”

No. 9: “Financially, aaminin ko po, malaki ang budget deficit natin. Pero willing po akong idonate sa kaban ng bayan ang kikitain ko sa susunod kong tatlong commercials.”

No. 8: “Today, I formally declare my support for sex education and the Reproductive Health Bill. Kung may sex education po noong time na estudyante pa ako, former Parañaque City Mayor Joey Marquez would have not infected me with STD, at malamang, hindi po ganito ang estado ng aking married life ngayon.”

No. 7: “Mula nang ako ay maupong presidente, wala pong hinto ang batikos sa akin at sa aming angkan. Sige na ho, gamitin n’yo ko talaga kung gusto niyong sirain ang aming pamilya. Kung ako na lang ang kasiraan ng Aquino at Cojuangco clan, sige gamitin n’yo po ako. Pero pwede ko pong ipagmalaki, mabuti ang pamilya namin. Nagmamahalan po ang pamilya namin. At minamahal po namin ang bayan natin kaya po lahat ng ito pinagdadaanan namin.”

No. 6: “Ipinapangako ko pong magiging pantay ako sa pagpili ng National Artists unlike my predecessor. Kaya’t upang walang masaktan at walang inggitan, sige… sabay-sabay na lang sila. Congratulations to Paul Cabral, JC Buendia, and Randy Ortiz, our National Artists for Fashion! Good work girls!”

No. 5: “Last night, nakausap po namin ni Boy si Mr. Manny Pangilinan. (Hi MVP, I know you’re watching!) At bilang pagpapahalaga sa aming pagkakaibigan, pumayag po siyang ibaba ng Meralco ang singil sa kuryente! And not only that! For the next six months, unlimited po ang text ng Smart sa lahat ng networks! Simply amazing talaga! Grabeh! Pero ‘wag pong malungkot ang Globe subscribers! Kahapon, I had dinner with Mr. Jaime Zobel De Ayala and his wife Lizzie. JAZA told me na may unlimited calls promo ang Globe to all networks for three months! Promise! Sa mga Sun Cellular subscribers, give me until tomorrow. Kakausapin ko pa ‘yung tatay ng ahas sa Galleria. Just kidding! Hi Lance! Hi Robina! Love love tayo huh!”

No. 4: “Sa mga lugar sa malalayong probinsya na walang libreng medical care, walang libreng school supplies, walang libreng sine, walang birthday gift, at kung anu-ano pang perks and freebies, huwag kayong mag-alala, lahat ng ‘yan ay tutuparin ni Tito Jojo Binay… sa 2016. Konting tiyaga. Six years na lang.”

No. 3: “Sinusuportahan ko po ang sinimulang training ni Pangulong Arroyo sa mga supermaids na ipapadala sa ibang bansa. At upang matiyak na masipag, may takot, at marunong sumunod sa utos ang mga maids, itatalaga ko po bilang direktor ng itatatag na ‘Supermaid Skills Training Administration’ ang aking friend, si Korina Sanchez. Love you Ate Koring. Peace! Sorry Pareng Bong but your sister Princess was overqualified.”

No. 2: “I am not perfect, and I will never be perfect. But I’m not a liar at hindi po ako masamang tao. Gusto ko gano’n din ang mga senador at kongresista. Kaya’t bago ko irelease ang Countrywide Development Fund at Internal Revenue Allotment, gusto kong malaman kung saan n’yo ito gagamitin. At para matiyak na nagsasabi kayo ng totoo, you’ll have to undergo a lie detector test. Bestfriend Sweet, John Lapus, I need your help on this one. Kaya sa inyong lahat na nandito ngayon sa Batasan… ‘Don’t Lie To Me.’ Aha-ha-ha! Gosh, this is fun!”

And the No. 1 thing Kris Aquino would (not) say in her SONA if she were president…

“Nag-promise po ako kay Noy na ‘di na ko masyadong magsasalita pero since this is my SONA, I can say whatever I want. ‘Tsaka ‘di ba I told you before na I may be anything but I’m not a liar? So, ladies and gentlemen, narito po ang listahan ng mga magnanakaw sa aking administrasyon. This is in random order. Let’s start with the Department of…”

In Other News…
Organizations allied with the ‘Reaffirmist’ group of CPP-NPA Founder Jose Ma. Sison have expressed strong opposition to the appointment of known ‘Rejectionist’ and former Akbayan Representative Loretta Ann Rosales as chair of the Commission on Human Rights. In totally unrelated news, mathematicians discovered that a triangle has three sides.

Secretary Abad
Today, July 18, the Philippine Star published a story on Florencio ‘Butch’ Abad. Yup, the government has found a new budget secretary. The only thing missing now is the budget.

Am-boat sa Imo!
A boat carrying ABS-CBN reporter Niko Baua and GMA-7 reporter Emil Sumangil, and their respective crews capsized off the shoreline of Limay town in Bataan – the site of a reported oil spill Saturday morning. Rumors say the vessel lost its stability when the reporters fought as to which TV network was better. As the boat capsized, the argument continued with Baua shouting, “Naglilingkod sa inyo saan man sa mundoooo!” and Sumangil yelling, “Ito ang serbisyong totoooooooo!”
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“One must be frank to be relevant.”
~Corazon Aquino

Survey Says
Dapat bang sisihin ang PAGASA sa pagkabigla ng mga taga-Metro Manila kay “Basyang?”
-OO! Mali ang forecast! 48%
-HINDI. ‘Di naman sila perpekto! 44%
-Bagyo? Mahimbing ang tulog ko. 8%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

Have a safe week ahead!