PRESIDENT AQUINO had a televised speech last Wednesday, Oct. 30. For a moment, I thought he was trick-or-treating — he tricked us into believing he was saying something new.

In a televised address last Oct. 30, the President said, “I repeat: The issue here is theft. I did not steal.” WE repeat: The issue here is pork. Theft continues under your administration.

Taking a swipe at “corrupt officials allegedly involved in the pork barrel scam,” President Aquino said, “Not once have I heard them say: ‘I did NOT steal.'” To which Bong and Jinggoy replied, “You want us to lie?! Hellooow!”

In his speech, the President blasted those who tried to “muddle” the PDAF issue, and mentioned something about “an old politician” who wanted “to make everyone look bad.” He didn’t name names, just clues. It was like listening to an Arnold Clavio gossip on radio.

1 Bong and Jinggoy
Every year, Bong Revilla observes Halloween by trying to be scary. This year, he tried to scare the hell out of the whistleblowers by filing a damage suit against them.

In his complaint affidavit, Bong Revilla wanted Benhur Luy and Marina Sula to return his pork barrel to the government. To which Benhur and Marina said, “After you.”

Accused of pocketing millions of pesos in pork barrel funds, Bong Revilla filed a damage suit against PDAF scam whistleblowers. In the absence of action movies, Revilla is switching to comedy.

Interviewed on radio, Jinggoy Estrada said, “I am with (the President) in going after thieves in the government.” Sorry Bong, Jinggoy is funnier.

In a statement issued by his office last Thursday, Bong Revilla said, “I am not a thief and I never stole anything from the national coffers.” News editors are hiring an expert to verify if Revilla actually crafted that statement.

November 7
Janet Lim-Napoles is scheduled to appear before the Senate on Thursday, November 7. The alleged pork barrel queen is reportedly relaxed and composed. She is so prepared to not talk.

On Saturday, Nov. 2, Jinggoy Estrada left for the United States but vowed to return before Nov. 18. He’d rather attend to his ailing wife than attend the reunion on Nov. 7.

Jinggoy Estrada’s wife, Precy has a lump on her breast. It pains Jinggoy to see Precy suffer but it will pain him more to see Janet grilled.

Lots of Lots
Reports say suspected pork barrel queen Janet Lim-Napoles owns at least 200 lots at the Heritage (Memorial) Park — which is understandable since at least 200 people want her dead.

image Miss Universe
A new Miss Universe will be crowned on Nov. 9. Filipinos have been voting for local hopeful Ariella Arida online. As we all know, Filipinos are tops when it comes to beauty pageants. In fact, more Filipinos voted in the Miss Universe pageant than in the last barangay elections.

There are, in fact, two pure-blooded Filipinas in the 2013 Miss Universe pageant – Ariella Arida and Miss Universe-Canada Riza Santos. Riza was a former Miss Earth-Canada and a former Miss World-Canada. She lost in the Miss Earth contest and she also lost in the Miss World competition. Riza Santos is the Richard Gomez and Cesar Montano of beauty pageants.

lagreta Family Feud
The feud between Gretchen Barretto and her mom, Inday Barretto is getting worse. Gretchen accuses Inday of psychological abuse. Inday found an ally in Gretchen’s lips which accused the actress of collagen abuse.
“Corrupt politicians make the other ten percent look bad.”
~ Henry Kissinger

Sound Bites
“We are not the same. I have never stolen. I am not a thief. I am the one who goes after thieves.”
~President Aquino to some of his critics

Have a productive and safe November!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: Philippine Daily Inquirer, Rappler, Miss Universe Organization]

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