OMG! (Ombudsman Merceditas Gutierrez)

publicmarketbaguio1 It’s March!
Can you believe it? It’s already the third month of 2009! What does that mean? Graduation day, summer, beach, bodies, and of course, fire! March is Fire Prevention Month. And to usher in the strict observance of Fire Prevention Month, arsonists had to torch the Baguio City Public Market.

merci1 Under Fire
An impeachment complaint has been filed against Ombudsman Merceditas Gutierrez. I know what you’re thinking. What?! Atenean na naman?!

A day after an impeachment complaint was filed against her, Ombudsman Merceditas Gutierrez held a press conference. Yup, she faced the media. That was really unusual… because normally, Ateneans who are under fire run to St. Luke’s first.

baraquel_salonga As the Philippine Daily Inquirer described it, former senator Jovito Salonga of the Liberal Party, “came out of retirement” just to file the impeachment complaint against Ombudsman Merceditas Gutierrez. Judging from her reaction though, looks like even Ninoy Aquino’s resurrection will not make her quit.

Former senator Jovito Salonga of the Liberal Party “came out of retirement” to file an impeachment case against Ombudsman Merceditas Gutierrez… to which the feisty Ombudsman said, “I’ll never quit my post… kahit si Mar Roxas pa ang mag-come out!”

Press Secretary Cerge Remonde insists Malacañang is keeping a hands off stance on the Gutierrez case. To prove it, they all went to Boracay and enjoyed the beach while Gutierrez faced her accusers.

Top 5 Things to Tell Ombudsman Merceditas Gutierrez That Could Possibly Make Her Quit

5: “If you resign now, we’ll let you go to Belo. But if you stay, we’ll forcibly bring you to Calayan. Now, who do you wanna look like?”

4: “St. Luke’s Medical Center has just released an advisory. Kapag may nangyari daw sa ‘yo during an impeachment trial, never ka nilang i-a-admit! So quit now!”

3: “Jose ‘Joseph’ Estrada, Jose De Venecia, Jose Miguel Arroyo, Jocelyn ‘Jocjoc’ Bolante, Celso De Los Angeles. Do you seriously want to be their muse?”

2: “Aalis ka ba sa puwesto o mumurahin ka ni Mar Roxas in public?”

And the No. 1 thing to tell Ombudsman Merceditas Gutierrez that could possibly make her quit…

1: “Maawa ka naman kay Senator Salonga. Mag-ootsenta’y nuwebe na ‘yong matanda. Isipin mo na lang tatay mo siya. Isipin mo na lang anak ka niya. Isipin mo na lang nakikiusap ang ama sa anak. Isipin mo na lang huling pakiusap na niya ito. Isipin mo na lang last chance mo na ito para mapaligaya siya. At isipin mo na lang isasadula ng “Maalala Mo Kaya” ang buhay mo. Kakaawaan ka ng publiko. Makikisimpatiya sila sa ‘yo. At muling babango ang pangalan mo. So ano? Magreresign ka ba o hindi?!? Punyeta!”

GMA in Boracay gma_bora
President Arroyo was in Boracay the other day. Or as Albay Governor Joey Salceda would say it, “bitch on a beach.”

Resado In the News Again
Embattled State Prosecutor John Resado insisted that the Philippine Drug Enforcement Agency did not conduct a buy-bust operation on the group of suspected drug dealers known as the Alabang Boys. Relatives of the Alabang Boys described Resado’s latest testimony as, “honest,” “credible, “ and “worth 1.6 million.”

Have you heard the rumor? The Alabang Boys have fired their lawyers. You know why? Because the boys just realized State Prosecutor John Resado was doing a much better job compared to them.

Euro Generaldlp1
“Euro general” and former PNP comptroller Eliseo De La Paz has strongly denied rumors he had been implicated in the fertilizer fund scam. The rumor was apparently fueled by a tabloid headline that said: “Ex-comptroller De La Paz, nag-abono!”

“Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?”
(Who will guard the guards themselves?)
~ From Satire VI of Roman Poet Juvenal


The US Elections
Even before the final ballot could be counted, US presidential candidate John McCain has conceded the 2008 presidential election to Democratic rival Barack Obama. That was a quick one. To give you an idea how quick it was, John McCain accepted defeat in less than 48 hours… Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago has yet to concede to Fidel Ramos after 16 years.

The US Elections II
Less than 48 hours after voting began, a new American president was declared. That was fast! To give you an idea how fast it was, John McCain has conceded the presidential race even before Jose De Venecia could sign the copy of the impeachment complaint handed to him three weeks ago.

CNN’s Historic Coverage
For the first time in television broadcast history, CNN aired a live report beamed through holographic technology. Reporter Jessica Yellin who was in Chicago was projected as a three-dimensional hologram and talked to CNN anchor Wolf Blitzer as if she was in the network’s Manhattan studio. ABS-CBN News is reportedly using a similar technology – not to cover the news, but to prevent physical altercations between Maria Ressa and Luchi Cruz-Valdez during their staff meeting.

CNN’s Historic Coverage II
CNN reporter Jessica Yellin said she was surrounded by 44 cameras and 20 computers as CNN beamed her live report through holographic technology. GMA 7 is reportedly looking forward to duplicating CNN’s unprecedented feat but is nonetheless worried they might use twice the number of cameras in order to beam Jessica Soho live!

Briefly Noted: Sic
Deputy presidential spokesperson Lorelei Fajardo said, “We wish to express our profound congratulations to President-elect Barack Obama for his historical and stellar win as the 44th president of the US.” I hope you are reading this Ms. Fajardo. “Historic” po dapat ‘yon, hindi “historical.”

No pain, no palm; no thorns, no throne; no gall, no glory; no cross, no crown.
— William Penn



A WEEK AFTER the February 2006 standoff at the Marines headquarters in Fort Bonifacio and the succeeding raid at the Daily Tribune office, I came up with a list of 20+ things I learned from those recent events in Philippine politics. The Philippine Daily Inquirer published the list albeit trimmed to 18, while People’s Journal (lifting the same list from the PDI) printed it as an editorial the next day.

Home alone on a quiet All Souls Day, I opted to create a rather serious post today. Enjoy reading, and let’s continue heckling this week!

Some of the things I’ve learned from recent events in politics and government:

You are poor. You are a suspected thief. You get locked up.
You are rich. You are a suspected thief. You get a check up.

A contingency fund, a cash advance, and an intelligence fund. They are one and the same.

If you’re a police general and you couldn’t attend an Interpol conference abroad, send your wife instead.

Catholic bishops and nuns – the staunchest critics of the proposed bill to curb population explosion do not actually contribute to population growth.

Impeachment is a numbers game. Winners usually take home a seven–figure jackpot.

History tells us that it takes decades to build states and nations. Today, it only takes a MOA to create one.

When an economic adviser calls her president a “bitch,” something is wrong with the adviser. If he doesn’t get fired, something is wrong with the president.

Double budget insertions are perfectly legal. Unless discovered.

The surest way to get appointed in a government post is to lose in a national election.

When an executive clemency is granted shortly before midnight on a Friday, better check on the list of convicts to be released. You might be in for a surprise.

Relatives of murder victims who oppose the granting of an executive clemency to a murder convict must learn how to swim first before they appeal their case to the Justice secretary..

There are only two genuine groups of oppositionists in the country: the Communist Party of the Philippines, and ABS-CBN.

And thanks to the Commission on Human Rights, I have learned that when a suspected NPA or Moro rebel is tortured, that’s human rights violation. When a government soldier is killed by the suspected NPA or Moro rebel, that’s life.

Have a great week ahead!

Did Luchi Cruz-Valdez resign from ABS-CBN?
Irony is an insult conveyed in the form of a compliment..
Edwin Percy Whipple

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