A SHOW OF FORCE

THANK CALENDARS IT’S FRIDAY! Manny Pacquiao arrived this morning from Los Angeles. And today marks the start of the filing of certificates of candidacy for the 2010 elections. But you know what the week’s biggest news was? The emergence of a new dominant political party: “Ang Partido Oportunista ng Pilipinas.”

Earlier this week, the Oxford University Press picked “unfriend” as the Word of the Year. To unfriend someone is to delete him or her from your social life – just like what Vilma Santos, Ralph Recto, Recom Echeverri, Mayor Sonny Belmonte, and Herbert Bautista did to Lakas-Kampi-CMD.


National Convention
The ruling Lakas-Kampi-CMD Party held its national convention yesterday at the PICC. Thousands of party members representing each of the country’s geographical regions attended the convention. The atmosphere was relaxed and lively, and attendees were in high spirits. Apparently, everyone was prepared to lose.

In her farewell speech as party chair, President Arroyo claimed that Lakas-Kampi-CMD Party members comprise 72 percent of national and local officials. The farewell speech was written when Cory Aquino was still alive.

In an apparent effort to show that his political party values substance over popularity, Atty. Gilbert Teodoro talked at length about his platform of government. To give you an idea how long Gibô’s speech was, Noynoy Aquino has consumed three packs of cigarettes before he was through.

There have been conflicting reports as to the exact number of attendees in yesterday’s Lakas-Kampi-CMD national convention. The Philippine Daily Inquirer says 3,000. ABS-CBN and GMA 7 say 2,894. Pulse Asia says 2 percent.

In yesterday’s national convention of Lakas-Kampi-CMD, 2,894 people were reportedly present at the PICC: 894 were members of the party; the rest were members of the media.

After Atty. Gilbert Teodoro was proclaimed Lakas-Kampi-CMD Party’s official candidate for president, his wife Nikki Prieto-Teodoro joined him on stage. For a brief moment, Sen. Jamby Madrigal who was watching the live event on TV considered defecting to Lakas.

Lakas-Kampi-CMD members had a show of force in yesterday’s national convention. And despite the recent defections of some prominent members, those who stayed all looked energized. In fact, before the convention started, they eagerly talked about their plans, platforms, and Pinky Webb.

Edu and Pinky
The ruling party’s vice presidential bet Edu Manzano and tv presenter Pinky Webb have called it quits. Rumors say Webb was compelled to break up with Edu when she learned that ABS-CBN was arranging the couple’s live guesting on Wowowee. [Read: Webb did not want to cheapen the romance. Ouch! May tinamaan. Sino kaya?]


Titigan ang larawan. Ano sa palagay mo ang nasa isip ni Edu Manzano nang sandaling iyon?
A) “Sige! Ipamukha n’yo pang single ako. Sige lang!”
B) “Ikaw ngayon, Nikki. Ako, mamayang gabi.”
C) “Hay naku Pinky. Wrong timing ka talaga!”
D) “OA naman ‘to kung makahalik. Parang ‘di 2 percent ang rating!”

Osmeña No Longer a Liberal
Fed up with the “infighting” and “Mafia” in the Liberal Party, former senator Sergio Osmeña III has decided to quit the party. He has also rejected the offer of Erap’s party, and Villar’s Nacionalista Party saying, “My loyalty is to the Filipino people,” to which NPC’s Danding Cojuangco said, “Narinig ko na ‘yan eh.”

Osmeña No Longer a Liberal II
Former senator Sergio Osmeña III has quit the Liberal Party. Noynoy Aquino was unfazed by Osmeña’s decision though, and despite the intrigues, Noynoy said he would never quit the Liberal Party; he would never quit the opposition, and he would never quit smoking.

Ebdane’s VP
Presidential aspirant and former DPWH secretary Hermogenes Ebdane Jr. has vowed to reveal his running mate and senatorial bets on November 29. But first, he needs to inform them that they are his running mate and senatorial bets.

Marcoses Support Villar
Ilocos Norte Rep. Ferdinand “Bongbong” Marcos Jr. says the Marcoses have decided to support Nacionalista Party’s Manuel Villar Jr. in next year’s elections. Bongbong’s elder sister Imee, herself a former member of the Lower House has opted not to seek any elective post and will pursue instead a career in ventriloquism.

Early Bird
Marcos loyalist and controversial lawyer Oliver Lozano today filed his certificate of candidacy for president. He did it ahead of other perceived presidential frontrunners. Lozano insists he ‘plans and thinks ahead of everyone.’ To give you an idea how ‘advance’ Lozano’s mindset was, after filing his COC for president… he filed an impeachment complaint against himself.

Manny Is Back
The People’s Champ Manny Pacquiao arrived in the country today with wife, Jinkee. As if to quell rumors that their marriage is on the rocks, the couple gamely kissed during a television interview. Some described the kiss as “sweet.” Some described it as “awesome.” Others described it as ‘damage control.’
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“An organization that is strong and stable and is ready to commit time, money, and patience will be more apt to reap rewards than the quick-hitting opportunist.”
~Richard Miller

Light Bites: From Somewhere
Manny Pacquiao: Pacman
Mommy Dionisia: Pacmom
Krista Ranillo: Pacbet (Pambansang Ka__)

Survey Says
Are gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and transgenders marginalized, and therefore, must have representation in Congress?
ABSOLUTELY! :33%
NOPE, They are not! :27%
THEY ARE but no need to be represented in Congress :40%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

Enjoy your weekend!

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DAYTIME DRAMA

I EXPECTED a stormy Monday because of Typhoon Ramil but much to my surprise, it was so hot outside. In fact, I have noticed that it’s been so hot these days; too hot that even robbers chose to spend their Sunday in Greenbelt mall.

greenbelt_robbery Greenbelt Robbery
At least 11 robbers carrying high-caliber firearms barged into a Rolex store in Greenbelt 5 Sunday morning taking with them a bag-full of Tudor watches. Less than a year before the elections, investigators described the Rolex store robbery as “timely.”

Greenbelt Robbery II
For neutralizing at least one suspect during the Greenbelt 5 heist, two cops (security aides of Taguig Mayor Freddie Tinga) were promoted one rank higher. Had they killed the robber while the guy was in handcuffs, either of them could become the future PNP chief, or senator even.

Greenbelt Robbery III
Following the Rolex store heist in Greenbelt 5 on Sunday, police vowed to beef up security in other malls to prevent brazen daylight thievery. If they were that serious in fighting thieves, when will they secure Batasang Pambansa?

ces_ricky Greenbelt Robbery IV
ABS-CBN correspondents Ces Drilon and Ricky Carandang were in Greenbelt 5 when the robbery took place Sunday morning. Authorities thanked Ces and Ricky for being cooperative in the investigation. The two journalists reportedly answered every question asked by the police… except for one: “Kayo na ba talaga?”

Top 5 Reactions of Political Figures to the Greenbelt Mall Heist

No. 5: Sen. Noynoy Aquino: “Sana po’y maintindihan n’yo na wala muna akong mailalabas na statement tungkol diyan. Bigyan muna po ninyo ako ng tatlong araw upang kunsultahin ang Pink Sisters at nang maipagdasal ko na rin ang mga naligaw ng landas nating kababayan!”

No. 4: Sen. Manuel Villar:Akala mo pulis, ‘yun pala hindi. Akala mo shoppers, ‘yun pala robbers.”

No. 3: Joseph Estrada: “Ano ‘yung heist?”

No. 2: Mayor Jejomar Binay:Ganito kami sa Makati. ‘Pakialam n’yo!?!

And the No. 1 reaction of a political figure to the Greenbelt Mall heist…

Sen. Chiz Escudero: “Ako po’y naniniwala na hindi sapat na dahilan ang kawalan o kakulangan ng pagkakakitaan upang gumawa ng kasamaan ang isang tao o grupo ng mga tao sa isang lipunang nabibigyan naman ng kalayaan at karapatan ang bawat isa na mamuhay nang naaayon sa itinatadhana ng batas at sa mga panuntunan ng moralidad na sinusunod at pinapaniwalaan ng higit na nakakaraming tao – mga palatandaan na naghahari at buhay ang ating demokrasya. Saan nga pala dun ‘yung Greenbelt 5?”

ebdane In Other News
The country’s third oldest political party, Lapiang Manggagawa has reportedly endorsed the presidential bid of Public Works and Highways Sec. Hermogenes Ebdane. Ebdane is flattered by the endorsement and plans to thank the members of the party… as soon as he successfully finds one.

arboleda PBA’s Harshest Penalty Ever
The Philippine Basketball Association suspended guard Wynne Arboleda of Burger King without pay for the rest of the 2009-10 Season for kicking and punching a fan who heckled him at courtside during the Whoppers’ game against the Smart-Gilas Team at the Araneta Coliseum last October 16. While the suspension is in effect, Arboleda hopes to try out for the Philippine kickboxing team.

arboleda_trashtalker PBA’s Harshest Penalty Ever II
For punching and kicking an Atenean heckler identified as Alain Katigbak who hurled bad words at him, Burger King’s Wynne Arboleda was suspended until July 2010 by the PBA. The trash-talking Katigbak on the other hand, was offered a job by the campaign team of Sen. Mar Roxas II.
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“It’s the rich you can terrorize. The poor have nothing to lose.”
~Imelda Marcos

Survey Says
Of these presidential hopefuls, who do you think is the “hottest?”
NOYNOY Aquino: 64%
CHIZ Escudero: 14%
JOSEPH Estrada: 1%
GILBERT Teodoro: 8%
MANNY Villar: 13%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

SENTIMENTS

OFWsgma GMA Is Back
After a three-nation tour, President Arroyo arrived home Thursday with some 121 distressed overseas Filipino workers (OFWs) who were stranded in Saudi Arabia. Photos of the president with the repatriated OFWs saw print in several newspapers Friday… prompting presidential aspirant Manuel Villar to accuse Mrs. Arroyo of shamelessly copying his signature stunt.

Solons for Noynoy?
Cebu Rep Antonio Cuenco, a Lakas-Kampi stalwart claimed that based on an informal survey, half of the members of the Lower House preferred Sen. Noynoy Aquino. This just in! An informal survey among Lakas-Kampi members showed that half of them wanted to kick Cuenco out of the party.

Solons for Noynoy? II
Cebu Rep. Antonio Cuenco who conducted an informal survey that showed half of the members of the Lower House preferred Noynoy Aquino claimed that only pork barrel considerations were keeping other congressmen from openly supporting a non-administration candidate. A check on House records showed, Cuenco has received his allocation in full.

ebdane Ebdane for President, Too
Did you hear the news? Aside from cabinet members Bayani Fernando and Gilbert Teodoro, Public Works and Highways Secretary Hermogenes Ebdane Jr. has also declared his intention to run for president in 2010! In bigger news, an informal survey among Cabinet members showed that half of them actually wanted to run for president!

danton Ang Ladlad in the House
Ateneo professor Danton Remoto, chairman of Ang Ladlad, the gay advocacy organization seeking accreditation from the Comelec as a party-list group, says his group aims to provide lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgenders a legal representation in Congress. Rumors say Ang Ladlad wouldn’t be this too keen on making it to Congress if only Jules Ledesma were doing his job.

Ang Ladlad in the House II
Prof. Danton Remoto says Ang Ladlad has a nationwide gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender membership of 22,000. Of this figure, 21,999 are ordinary, marginalized people while 1 is a senator.

vilma-sarah Pichay on Ate Vi
Defeated 2007 senatorial candidate and Lakas CMD vice president Prospero Pichay says Batangas governor Vilma Santos is the Philippine version of former Alaska governor and Republican vice presidential bet Sarah Palin. They’re both beautiful, they’re both popular, and they’re both married to losers.

Pichay on Ate Vi II
Lakas CMD vice president Prospero Pichay says Batangas governor Vilma Santos is the Philippine version of Sarah Palin “but with substance.” Santos is reportedly flattered by the comparison but vehemently denies that she is into drugs.

lanib Congresswoman Lani
Sen. Bong Revilla’s wife, actress Lani Mercado, a defeated mayoral candidate in Bacoor, Cavite in 2004, will run for a seat in Congress next year. A number of Cavite residents have asked the Commission on Human Rights to investigate reports that torture has been legalized in the province.

Survey Says
If elections were held today, your choice for president will be. The final results with exact figures (10:49AM, Saturday):
Noynoy Aquino: 476 votes / 37.39%
Manny Villar: 473 votes / 37.15 %
Gilbert Teodoro: 121 votes / 9.50%
None of the Above: 106 votes / 8.32%
Chiz Escudero: 97 / 7.61%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

Personal
ThankS to the 2009 Philippine Blog Awards. As I have been telling my Facebook friends, I am not expecting to win but I’ll be very happy if my co-finalists in the Humor category would all lose. Here’s the complete list of finalists.

REVAMP

Cabinet Shakeup arroyo1
President Arroyo has revamped her Cabinet. Asked if the reshuffle would make a difference in government, she replied, “Change? Yes we can!”

Have you heard about the latest changes in the Arroyo government? Remonde is the new press secretary; Dureza is the new chief presidential legal adviser; Ebdane is the new PMS chief; Razon is the new peace adviser, and the DOJ has a new letterhead.

Here’s a piece of good news: The articulate and amiable Cerge Remonde is the new press secretary. The bad news? Weekly press conferences will now be conducted in Cebuano.

The good news: Jesus Dureza still has a job after his appointment as the new chief presidential legal adviser. The bad news? He’s been barred from leading the prayer in all government meetings, activities, and functions.

Heckler’s Pick 2

Movie: Bribe Wars
Genre: Romantic Thriller
Director: Siraul Gonzaless
Rating: PG-13 for Drug-related theme

bribe-wars-final

Plot Summary:
Janice Santiago and Jovanne Zuño play two government agents assigned to fight drug dealers. The best friends’ solid partnership was put to a test when Jovanne fell in love with a wealthy, young drug pusher. While Janice refuses to meddle with her partner’s personal life, she cannot just let the romance jeopardize the government’s anti-narcotic operations. A moving account of friendship and perfidy, “Bribe Wars” also marks the screen debut of ‘80s radio host Johnny Frightnight as Jovanne’s future father-in-law who tolerates his son’s involvement in the illegal drug trade. Plus an Oscar-worthy performance by Major Marcelino Fernando Jose in his breakout role as a blind narcotic agent who “witnessed” a bribe attempt to silence Janice Santiago; With the special participation of Timm Yup who gives life to the character “Timbukling” – an Über-annoying poseur-buyer who dates suspected drug dealers, and collects Bratz dolls and Bratz accessories.
Memorable Quotes from the Film:
“Ano ako cheap?! Ayoko ng 3M Pizza! Gusto ko pizza from California Pizza Kitchen.”
“My son is not an addict. He is just a social user, kasi sosyal siya! Sosyal ang buong pamilya ko!”
“That Marcelino Fernando Jose is a liar! He cannot be a witness kasi blind siya and that is unconstitutional!”
“My brother is not a pig. My brother is a traitor. Sinisiraan niya kami dahil sa pera!”
“You want ecstasy? Go to Embassy!”

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Apologies for the “pilit” na poster. I couldn’t find better photos of the film’s leads.