RELAX, SEE A MOVIE

Top 20 Movie Casting Choices That Were Meant to Be 2

20: ex-Sen. Ramon Revilla Sr.: Staying Alive

19: Vicki Belo & Ellen Lising: House of Wax

18: DOJ Sec. Raul Gonzales: The Jerk

17: Sen. Antonio Trillanes: Chasing Liberty

16: Tim Yap/DJ Montano: Close Encounters of the Third Kind

15: Mrs. Rose Flaminiano: Super Size Me

14: The Gucci Gang with the special participation of Ms. Nora Aunor: Romancing the Stone

13: Shell, Petron, and Caltex: Liar Liar

12: ABS-CBN News’ Maria Ressa: The Punisher

11: Nadia Montenegro: Grease

10: Doña Mary Ejercito: 10,000 BC

9: Rodolfo “Jun” Lozada: The Man Who Knew Too Much

8: Sen. Lito Lapid: Artificial Intelligence

7: ex-Sen. John Osmeña: Girl, Interrupted

6: (tie) MILF’s Kumander Bravo and Umbra Kato: Psycho and Jose “Joey” De Venecia III: V for Vendetta

5: Panfilo Lacson and Jamby Madrigal: Sister Act

4: Sen. Manuel Villar: Two for the Road

3: Sens. Loren Legarda & Edgardo Angara: An Inconvenient Truth

2: Claudio Teehankee Jr.: While You Were Sleeping

And the No. 1 movie casting choice that was meant to be…

1: Sen. Francis Pangilinan: Unfaithful

See also The Top 20 Movie Casting Choices That Were Meant to Be

ENDANGERED SPECIES

Hungry Filipinos
The latest Social Weather Stations survey showed that 16.3 percent of Filipinos experienced hunger at least once in the past three months. The figure could have been higher if the SWS surveyed those women enrolled at Slimmer’s World, Gold’s Gym, and Fitness First.

ARMM Polls
President Arroyo is supporting a proposal to postpone the August 11 elections in the Autonomous Region in Muslim Mindanao. Four ARMM lawmakers have also filed a bill to reset the polls. The postponement is seen to “open the highway” for peace, allow negotiations between the government and the MILF, and give some ARMM candidates another chance to abduct and raise additional campaign funds.

null Box-Office Behemoth
Raking in more than $155 million in its opening weekend, The Dark Knight shattered box office records in North America. Inspired by the success of the Heath Ledger–starrer, local producers are coming up with their own superhero movies casting the likes of Royet Padilla, John Regala, Mark Anthony Fernandez, Bernard Palanca and the members of the Gucci Gang as villains.

Solon vs. Sulpicio Exec
Reports say Cavite Rep. Elpidio Barzaga Jr. has called for the arrest of Sulpicio Lines vice president Edgar Go over the shipping firm’s lack of commitment to refloat MV Princess of the Stars. When Go heard the news, he instructed his lawyer to prepare attempted kidnapping charges against the congressman.

null Animals Gone Missing
The Department of Environment and Natural Resources says half of the country’s fauna has become endangered or extinct… with the exception perhaps of the government’s crocodile population, which continues to grow each day.

FAMOUS, INFAMOUS

null Unpopular

According to the Social Weather Stations, only 22% of Filipinos were satisfied with President Arroyo’s performance. The news did not come as a surprise to First Gentleman Mike Arroyo mainly because her performance has not satisfied him for years either.

Unpopular II

Only 1 out of 5 Filipinos are satisfied with President Arroyo’s performance… meaning, when she’s at the dinner table with the First Gentleman, Luli, Dato, and Mikey, she’s the only one satisfied with her performance.

Unpopular III

Dismissing President Arroyo’s historic-low approval rating, her allies stressed that the presidency is not about popularity, and cited her determination to fight poverty, corruption, and organizations like the Abu Sayyaf, the New People’s Army, and more recently, SWS and Pulse Asia.

GMA’s SONA

July 28, 2008 is a special day for both the administration and the opposition. President Arroyo will deliver her 8th State of the Nation Address on that day while the opposition is celebrating the 8th anniversary of its failure to unseat her.

Top 5 Rumors About President Arroyo’s Sona that Were Dismissed by Malacañang As Untrue

5: Her speechwriter refuses to review the draft speech because every time she does, she would always throw up.

4: People at the gallery who shall applaud her speech will get instant gas coupons per applause.

3: To show her empathy for the masses who are most affected by the skyrocketing cost of petroleum products, she’ll go to Batasan Complex on foot.

2: In 2001, she invited three Payatas children ak.a. “Bangkang Papel” boys to highlight her government’s campaign against poverty. This year, to underscore the government’s fight against terrorism, she has invited Jimmy Encarnacion, Angelo Valderrama, and Ces Drilon (minus the makeup).

And the No. 1 rumor about President Arroyo’s Sona that was dismissed by Malacañang as untrue…

1: Judy Ann Santos will deliver a speech right after the president’s Sona to explain the state of the nation further.

The Lucida-DS Case

United Shelter Health Products, the local distributor of the controversial Lucida-DS whitening drug refused to withdraw its products from the market and insisted that the Bureau of Food and Drugs’ claim that Lucida-DS contained insufficient glutathione was a mistake. Coincidentally, United Shelter has withdrawn its deal with Sen. Loren Legarda and insisted that the decision to get her as endorser was a mistake too.

Terrorists All?

Headline from Mindanao: Catholics in the South getting threats from suspected Abu Sayyaf
Headline in Manila: Pro-choice politicians getting threats from Catholic priests

Personal

Brian Gorrell, the controversial Australian-Canadian blogger and florist who exposed the debauchery and nefariousness of the so-called Gucci Gang has cited this blog in his recent blog post. His flattering compliment and endorsement have helped this site (The Professional Heckler) establish its own weekend readership record of sorts for the month of July. Thank you Brian. And keep on fighting.

SUPER GLO!

null Emergency Powers for GMA

La Union Rep. Thomas Dumpit Jr., a neophyte administration ally in the Lower House, filed a resolution seeking to grant President Arroyo “emergency powers” to immediately and effectively address the food crisis. A devout Catholic, Congressman Dumpit is hopeful that the “powers” would help the equally religious President Arroyo to turn ants into rice grains, and stones into pan de sal. (If that happens, expect her satisfaction rating to shoot up to 100 %!)

Wage Hike

President Arroyo on Monday said she wanted the minimum wages across the country raised. Mrs. Arroyo made the decision over the weekend just seconds after learning that Haiti’s Prime Minister Jacques Edouard Alexis was ousted over the rising food cost in the impoverished country.

null Income Tax Returns

Today, April 15, 2008 is the last day for the filing of income tax returns… otherwise known as Dishonesty Promotion Day.

null Disinherited

Sen. Jamby Madrigal has filed a case in court contesting her being disinherited from the estate of her late multi-millionaire aunt and high-society icon, Consuelo “Chito” Madrigal-Collantes. Just when we thought that only her Senate colleagues have a loathing for her…

Disinherited II

Sen. Jamby Madrigal has filed a case in court after being disinherited from the multi-million estate of high-society icon Chito Madrigal-Collantes who died very recently. Close friends of the senator tend to believe persistent rumors that the late octogenarian socialite was homophobic.

DJ Montano and Brian Gorrell null

Delfin Justiniano “DJ” Ocampo Montano appeared on Korina Sanchez’ ANC show recently and strongly denied all the allegations raised by ex-boyfriend Australian blogger Brian Gorrell. From drug use to swindling to his knowledge of the mysterious death of a Tantoco scion, he denied everything. In fact, rumor has it he’s appearing again on another Korina Today episode just to deny that he’s gay and that he knew Brian Gorrell.

PRETTIER THAN PINK

null Golez Hates Pink

Parañaque Rep. Roilo Golez criticized MMDA Chairman Bayani Fernando for using pink in road and traffic signs saying this violates international color standards for such signs. He wants red and white instead. If every congressman in Metro Manila would have as much idle time as this Congressman Golez, the metro could become a rainbow.

Golez Hates Pink II null

Congressman Roilo Golez criticized MMDA Chairman Bayani Fernando for using pink in road and traffic signs saying this violates international color standards, and recommends red and white instead. Apparently, lawmaking is such an easy job, Golez still finds time to dabble in art education.

null Abante and Playboy null

Manila Rep. Bienvenido Abante vowed to go to court and lead a rally to protest the release of Playboy magazine in the Philippines which he says threatens to corrupt our moral values. If reading Playboy indeed corrupts moral values, then Congressman Abante should target his colleagues in Congress because they could be keeping copies of the magazine.

null Life for Magdalo Leaders

Two ringleaders of the failed Oakwood mutiny, Captains Gerardo Gambala and Milo Maestrecampo were sentenced to reclusion perpetua or 20 to 40 years imprisonment. It was too late for Gambala and Maestrecampo to realize that in this country, a majority of Filipinos tend to support only good looking and charming mutinous soldiers like Trillanes and Honasan.

Corny Corner

What did Judge Oscar Pimentel of the Makati Regional Trial Court Branch 148 tell Captains Gerardo Gambala and Milo Maestrecampo during sentencing?
Get a life!

null Indelible Ink

“Indelible” ink is being used by the National Food Authority in the Bicol region to mark consumers who are each entitled to buy one kilogram of cheap rice per day. If worse comes to worst, the NFA may be forced to determine the most deserving buyers of limited cheap rice – through an election. (Campaign period to start soon!)

Cops and Robbers

Motorcycle riding thieves carted away P300,000 from a police official who withdrew the money from a bank in Manila – something that’s really odd since it’s the cop who usually goes home with the stash.

BODY OF CHRIST…

null Cruz and the Holy Communion

Lingayen-Dagupan Archbishop Oscar Cruz said the other day, “public sinners” should not be given the Holy Sacrament of Communion including, he said, President Arroyo. Sought for her reaction, the president allegedly promised that from this day on she will just commit sins… in private.

Cruz and the Holy Communion II

Archbishop Oscar Cruz denied telling in a forum Wednesday that he would not give communion to President Arroyo and explained that the media misinterpreted his statement… something that’s not exactly surprising considering that Cruz and the local media are on the same side of the fence.

null Communist Directive

On the eve of its armed wing’s 39th anniversary, the Communist Party of the Philippines ordered the New People’s Army’s to “increase the number of guerrilla fronts from the current level of 120-130 to 173, to cover all congressional districts in the provinces.” And in case it fails, the CPP will just try to cover all congressional districts through the party-list elections.

null Brian Gorrell’s Blog

ABS-CBN News Online posted an article today on the controversial blog of Australian swindling victim Brian Gorrell. The title of the article is: “Online libel: Aussie blogger’s victims are helpless” The Lopez network calls it “news,” Brian’s readers call it “damage control.”

Brian Gorrell’s Blog II

ABS-CBN News posted an article today on the controversial blog of Australian swindling victim Brian Gorrell. The article is titled, “Online libel: Aussie blogger’s victims helpless”
The Gucci Gang? Helpless victims? Wait… I’ll have to check if ABS-CBN News Online has turned into a humor blog.

Enjoy your weekend!