18 11 2008

The Coup
Sen. Manuel Villar has been ousted as Senate president and Sen. Juan Ponce Enrile was installed as his replacement. Sen. Gringo Honasan swore in Enrile to his new position. After 22 years, the duo has finally staged their first ever successful coup.

Juan Ponce Enrile is the new Senate president. In his acceptance speech, the 84-year-old lawmaker talked about the Senate’s advocacies, ambitious projects, and a bright future as an independent institution – words that were truly inspiring to hear… especially from someone who may no longer be there when “future” happens.

The Philippine Daily Inquirer identified the members of the core group that strenuously worked for Villar’s ouster: Loren Legarda, Panfilo Lacson, Mar Roxas, and Jamby Madrigal. However, even if you combined their best efforts, much of the credit should still go to Korina Sanchez.

Juan Ponce Enrile is the new Senate president. In his acceptance speech, he thanked everyone who helped him (snatch the third highest post in the land) especially Loren Legarda, Mar Roxas, Panfilo Lacson, Jamby Madrigal, and CP Garcia Avenue.

Another Inquirer report quoted an administration senator as saying Sen. Edgardo Angara plotted against Villar to advance the vice presidential bid of Loren Legarda who could become Joseph Estrada’s running mate if he decided to run. And we all thought the “affair” was over.

Administration senators who voted to oust Villar included Honasan, Richard Gordon, Edgardo Angara, Ramon “Bong” Revilla Jr., and Juan Miguel Zubiri. Lito Lapid who couldn’t understand what was happening also voted “Yes” to Villar’s ouster but only because he had a hard time spelling “Abstain.”

Sen. Manuel Villar said he was saddened and surprised by Jinggoy Estrada’s vote. He was even more surprised when the Senate allowed Lito Lapid to vote.

In a statement released following his ouster, Sen. Manuel Villar said he would now concentrate on being a fiscalizer, to which a curious Lito Lapid said, “So, may negosyo rin siyang abono?”

Tuesday’s headline of The Manila Standard Today reads: “Enrile two heartbeats away from the presidency.” When Noli De Castro saw this he said, “So kung ako, one heartbeat, kawawa naman si Pangulong Arroyo, zero heartbeat.”

In Other News…
Press Secretary Jesus Dureza said President Arroyo on Tuesday got a pre-dawn call from US President-elect Barack Obama. Obama reportedly assured Arroyo that good relations and cooperation between the US and the Philippines would continue… in her dreams.

US President-elect Barack Obama phoned President Arroyo on Tuesday at around 3:17 in the morning. Yup, that was a pre-dawn call. Apparently, Obama was hoping nobody would answer.

Malacañang said President Arroyo received a pre-dawn call from US President-elect Barack Obama. Obama praised Arroyo for being honest, hardworking, incorruptible, principled, morally upright, and ethical. And then she woke up.

Pulse Asia Survey
Vice President Noli De Castro topped the latest survey on presidential aspirants conducted by Pulse Asia. De Castro got 18 percent, followed by Manuel Villar and Joseph Estrada, 17 percent; Francis Escudero, 15 percent; Loren Legarda, 13 percent and Panfilo Lacson, 7 percent. With Mar Roxas placing a distant seventh, other presidentiables are hoping to avoid a clash with DZMM’s Korina Sanchez.
We have to distrust each other. It is our only defence against betrayal.
~Tennessee Williams



18 09 2008

Honasan’s Suggestion
To put an end to the partisan bickering in the Senate, Sen. Gringo Honasan suggested that they hold a bull session and end it with a group hug,

… to which Jamby Madrigal said, “Sure, as long as I stand next to Pia.”

… to which Mar Roxas said, “Sure, as long as I stand next to Migs.”

… to which Migz Zubiri said, “Sure, as long as I stand next to Sonny (Trillanes).”

… to which Antonio Trillanes said, “Are you nuts? I’m in jail!”

… to which Panfilo Lacson said, “Sure, I can stay for an hour in jail!”

… to which Loren Legarda said, “Count me in. I know someone in jail.”

… to which Edgardo Angara said, “Sure, as long as I stand next to (deleted). Ooops, ‘wag na nga lang. May pinatay na ang asawa no’n! Kay Chiz na lang.”

… to which Chiz Escudero said, “Sure, as long as I stand next to my schoolmate Kiko.”

… to which Francis Pangilinan said, “Sure, as long as I stand next to my professor Miriam.”

… to which Miriam Defensor-Santiago said, “Sure, as long as the three-dimensional expanse between ourselves is enough to prevent the possible spread of both pathogenic and saprotrophic microbiological life forms.”

… to which Alan Peter Cayetano said, “Sure, as long as I stand next to my health-buff sister.”

… to which Pia Cayetano said, “Sure, as long as I stand far enough from Jamby.”

… to which Aquilino Pimentel said, “Sure as long as I stand next to Jinggoy.”

… to which Jinggoy Estrada said, “Sure, as long as I stand next to my pareng Bong.”

… to which Bong Revilla said, “Sure, as long as I stand next to pareng Lito.”

… to which Lito Lapid said, “Sure, basta ‘yong group hug, sama-sama tayo. Ayoko ng solo.”

… to which Richard Gordon said, “Stupid! That’s why it’s called group hug! Let me stand next to Noynoy na nga lang.”

… to which Noynoy Aquino said, “Sure, as long as I don’t stand next to Enrile.”

… to which Juan Ponce Enrile said, “Sure, as long as I stand next to Joker.”

… to which Joker Arroyo said, “I’ll never allow that. I’ll block the proposal!”

… to which Pong Biazon said, “Group hug?! Sure! Let’s go! One… two… three…hugggggg!”

… to which Manny Villar said, “Wait, you forgot about me! Sali ako!”

… to which the other senators chorused, “Ay! Singit na naman?!”

Roxas on Double Insertions
Sen. Mar Roxas today declared an all out war against double insertions in the Senate. A month ago, he declared an all out campaign against the MOA on Ancestral Domain. Mar Roxas is getting all out of late, Korina Sanchez is starting to feel very nervous.

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