THE INTERVIEW [Vice and the President]

2pggv
FOR THE FIRST TIME, ABS-CBN’s top comic Vice Ganda interviewed none other than the president of the Republic of the Philippines. It was a hilariously revealing one-on-one between two persons who are very close to Kris Aquino. But they’re different. One is a currently loveless, UAAP follower (with a complicated love life) who has been rumored to spend in exchange for “some fun.” And the other one is Vice Ganda.

The public was divided on President Aquino’s decision to be interviewed by a comedian like Vice Ganda. Fifty percent liked the idea and watched the show – while the other 50 percent slammed the guesting and watched the entire show anyway.

Reacting to negative comments, Malacañang said the GGV interview “showed the lighter side of the President.” Rumors say Senator Trillanes appealed to Vice Ganda to invite Jejomar Binay as guest so he could show “the darker side of the Vice President.”

12121
Vice Ganda’s interview with President Aquino was a hit. When the episode ended, televiewers were yelling, “More! More!” Vice Ganda was thrilled. The last time he heard people yelling was right after a screening of ‘The Amazing Praybeyt Benjamin.’ They were shouting, “Refund! Refund!”

During the interview, President Aquino revealed that he was once president of his Biology class in high school. He became club president when his classmate and close friend who was targeting the presidency decided to give way.

Another piece of trivia from the President: He actually loves to sing but he prefers doing it “alone.” Otherwise known as “How to avoid a fight.”

Grammy-winning artist apl.de.ap, President Aquino claims, has told him that he’s got a good singing voice. That’s the good news. The bad news? Bamboo, Sarah and Lea disagreed.

Vice Ganda also asked the president about his thinning hair. President Aquino said “tanggap ko na,” and then revealed the brand of shampoo he uses: Mane ‘N Tail. This just in: The sales of Mane ‘N Tail dropped by 10 percent after that interview.

1PGGV
When quizzed about his love life, President Aquino said he wanted to settle down with someone younger. That explains why he’s been dating younger women. To be fair, he doesn’t have a choice these days.

For the first time, the President admitted that TV host Grace Lee was his former girlfriend. In the interest of fairness, we should get the side of Grace Lee.

According to President Aquino, he’s been single for several months now but without going into details, revealed that he’s currently seeing someone. Our balding, chain-smoking president who is almost 55 years old has a love life. What’s your excuse?

2PB
Top 5 Questions President Aquino Refused To Answer During His GGV Guesting

1: Kung dalawa na lang ho ang kandidato sa pagka-presidente sa 2016, sina Mar Roxas at Jojo Binay at isa lang ang pipiliin n’yo, bakit ho si Mar Roxas?

2: Kung bibigyan kayo ng pagkakataong ikumpisal kay Pope Francis next week ang isang kasalanan, ano ito at bakit?

3: Naniniwala ho ba kayo sa kasabihang “Love is blind?” Kung hindi, explain Grace Lee.

4: Sa inyong palagay, ano ho ang nararamdaman ngayon ng ibang reporters at media organizations na na-scoopan ko?  Galit o inggit?

And finally…
5: Kung sinasabi po ng maraming tao na basura ang pelikula kong ‘The Amazing Praybeyt Benjamin,’ bakit tawa kayo nang tawa habang pinapanood ito?

Bonus: THE PRESIDENT AND THE VICE.
During the 2013 senatorial campaign, Vice Ganda sat down with President Aquino for an interview. The transcript of that conversation was published in this blog: EXCLUSIVE! Click here for the full article. Here’s an excerpt:

Puro ka naman joke Vice. Start na tayo.

I see. ‘Yong lagay na ‘yon eh hindi pa pala tayo nagsisimula! So ano ho ‘tong ginagawa natin? Rehearsal? Jooooke! Sige po, game na tayo. Unahin na natin ang tanong na alam kong hinihintay ng masa: Ano ho bang real score sa pagitan n’yo ni Bianca Manalo?

Real score?

Hindi ho! Fake score. Ano ho ang fake score sa pagitan n’yo ni Bianca? Chos lang. Siyempre, real score.
—————————————————————————————————————–
“A little nonsense now and then, is cherished by the wisest men.”
~Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator

Sound Bites
“Mas bata sana kung puwede para may pag-asa pa naman para magkaanak.”
~President Aquino on settling down with a younger woman

Have a productive week!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: ABS-CBN Entertainment /via YouTube; @GGVOfficial AND Roxy Liquigan’s Instagram Account]

TABLOIDAL!


A RUNDOWN of the week’s tabloid headlines:

Tabloid Headline: ‘Small lady’ wala sa CCTV ng Senado
> Sa sobrang liit hindi nahagip

Tabloid Headline: Sino nga ba ang mas mataas: Impeachment Court o Supreme Court?
> Definitely hindi ‘yong ‘small lady’

Tabloid Headline: Fariñas nag-sorry kay Bong
> Alternative Headline: Rudy at Bong, best friends na ulit

Tabloid Headline: Impeachment complaint, masama ang pagkakagawa – Fariñas
> ‘Tapos masama pa ang performance ni Tupas! Wagas!

Tabloid Headline: Prosekusyon to Corona: Buksan ang dollar accounts
> Corona to prosecution: You first.

Tabloid Headline: Sabi ni PNoy: Congressman-prosecution kulang sa practice
> At sa evidence.

Tabloid Headline: Belmonte, hanga sa tatag ng prosecution
> Love your own.

Tabloid Headline: Customs clerk na naghari-harian sa kalsada, binira ni PNoy
> Nainggit sa Porsche?

Tabloid Headline: PNoy at Grace, 3 to 5 oras kung mag-usap sa phone
> Mabuti pa ‘yong phone, busy. Eh ‘yong Pangulo?

Tabloid Headline: Kritiko (sa Lower House) ‘kinikilig’ sa bagong love ni PNoy
> Baka naman umiihi lang

Tabloid Headline: Suporta ng INC kay Corona walang epekto sa Palasyo
> Next year pa ang eleksyon.

Tabloid Headline: Jinggoy “umepal” kay Kris
> Eh mas epal pala sa kanya, walang nangyari

Tabloid Headline: Grace Ibuna, nasa last will ni Rep. Iggy Arroyo
> Aleli Arroyo nasa ill will

Tabloid Headline: Sen. Kiko Pangilinan, hinaharang ang balik-tambalan nina Sharon Cuneta at Gabby Concepcion?!
> Noted.

Tabloid Headline: ‘Eat Bulaga’ pinataob ang ‘It’s Showtime’
> Motto ng Bulaga: ‘Eat Showtime!’

Tabloid Headline: ‘Female’ status sa lalaking nagpa-sex change, bawal – Senado
> Sige, she-male na lang

Tabloid Headline: Hayden Kho, nakipag-date sa ibang babae
> Sa sobrang galit, mukha ni Vicki Belo gumalaw

Tabloid Headline: PNoy kukuning lead dancer ng DOH
> Not a good idea.

Tabloid Headline: PDEA: Babaeng pusher tumataas
> Pampatangkad na ang drugs? Baka naman ‘dumarami!’

Tabloid Headline: Suspek sa laundry shop robbery, nasakote
> Matapos masakote, sinabon
——————————————————–
“Newspapers cannot be defined by the second word—paper. They’ve got to be defined by the first word—news.”
~ Arthur Sulzberg, Jr.

Quotes of the Day
“The old Manny Pacquiao is gone. The new Manny Pacquiao has come.”
~Cong. Manny Pacquiao on being a reformed “Catholic Christian”

“He’s one of the many aspects of my life that makes me happy now.”
~TV/Radio personality Grace Lee on President Aquino

Have a great weekend!

Share this on Facebook and Twitter: Add to FaceBookAdd to Twitter
I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MR. PRESIDENT!

ON FEBRUARY 7, 2012, Kris Aquino surprised her brother, President Noynoy Aquino with a birthday bash on Times Street. The event was recorded on video; a portion of which was transcribed by the President’s staff. Last night, a mysterious “small lady” handed me a copy of the transcript. Indulge!


AQUINO siblings, their children and close friends, yayas, household help, members of the Presidential Security Group: SURPRISE!!!
KRIS AQUINO: Good evening everyone! Hello Noy! Naloka ka ‘noh? Andito kaming lahat! Aha-ha-ha
PRESIDENT NOY: (Coughs) Ginulat n’yo naman ako. Teka… si Viel ba ‘yong nasa may corner table?
KRIS AQUINO: Nakakainis ka! Que aga-aga, nagpapatawa ka! Of course! ‘Kita mo nang napaka-quiet ng table so malamang si Viel ang andun. Hellooooo! Common sense.
PRESIDENT NOY: Ok, okay. Ano bang meron?

KRIS: Kasi Noy, before you arrived, pinakialaman nina Ate Ballsy at Ate Pinky ang answering machine sa sala. Then,
PINKY: Wait lang, Kris… anong pinaki…
KRIS: Ayyy, denying… sige ka, magagalit si Mom sa ‘yo. Aha-ha-ha!
BALLSY: Para matigil na kayong dalawa, sige, ako na ang nakialam.
KRIS: ‘Yun na! To the rescue ang eldest! Winnnner! Aha-ha-ha
NOY: Puro kayo kalokohan eh. Inaantok na ‘ko. Pagod ako!
KRIS: Wait lang! Listen ka muna. Hellloooo. Pagod ka??? As if! Anyway, we will let you listen to 5 or 7 birthday messages left on your answering machine. Wala lang, Maiba lang. K na?
NOY: Si Josh ba and’yan? Kumain na ba ang mga bata?
KRIS: Ay, ang kulit! Iniiba pa ang usapan. Sinabi nang listen muna eh. Answering machine now, PSP later.
VIEL: Noy, pagbigyan mo na kasi.
KRIS: Ohhhhhh my Gaaaaaaahd! As in oh my God! Nagsalita si Viel! Minsan lang magsalita ‘yan. Sign ‘yan! Kaya pagbigyan mo na ako, Noy! Bilis na! Ready??
NOY: Sige na nga!
KRIS: Yey! I love youuu! Here’s the first message! Ate Pinky… press mo naaaaah!

Toooooooot!
“Pards, si Ronald Llamas ‘to. May tanong lang ako sa ’yo: Si Jesus Christ ka ba? Kasi, you keep saving me. Salamat pards! On your birthday, isa lang ang masasabi ko: Relax… see a movie.”

KRIS: O, bongga ‘di ba? May pick-up line pa ang lolo mo! Sipsip much? Why wasn’t he fired nga pala Noy?
NOY: Kris, ‘di ba sabi ko kapag trabaho ko na ang pinag-uuusapan, ‘wag ka nang makikialam?
KRIS: Aray ko. I hate youuu! Why? Fault ko bang nag-DVD shopping siya. Care bears! Cheap n’ya huh! Next message Ate Ballsy!

Toooooooot!
“Mr. President, Niel Tupas here. Wishing you good health and a sound mind. May you have many more birthdays to come. Happy birthday. You’re the best!”

KRIS: In fairnesssssss, hindi halatang nasabon mo siya last weeeeeek. Aha-ha-ha
NOY: Kristina!!!
KRIS: Uki, quiet na lang ako. Fine! Ate Pinky, next message! Press mo naaa!

Toooooooot!
“Hi Babe Roman, sunduin mo na ako sa TV5. Finished na ang Will Time Big Time. ‘Tapos, kain tayo sa… Oh my, mali, ang na-dial kong number! Kanino ba ‘to? Bakit walang name. Sorry.”

KRIS: Nakakalokah! You gave Shalani pala your new number? I’m sure, sinend mo ‘yon via business card. Akala ko pa naman nag-move on ka na!
NOY: Hindi ako ang nagbigay ng number sa kanya! Hindi na kami nagti-text!
KRIS: Eh bakit nagba-blush ka? Aha-ha-ha Bahala ka sa buhay mo! Ipaliwanag mo ‘yan kina Roman at Mons. Basta ako, care bears! Ate Ballsy, next message!

Toooooooot!
“Hello, Noyshi? This ish GMA, your predecesshor and former economicsh professhor. I have noted with sadnessh the increashing vacuum of leadership, vishion, energy and execution in managing our economic affairsh. There’s economic ssshtagnation, government lethargy, and nobody-home leadership while presumptuously encouraging gosship about one’s love life in which no one can posshibly be intereshted. In short, it’s the economy, ishtudent.”


KRIS: Noy, may I react?
NOY: ‘Wag mo nang patulan Kristina.
KRIS: Nooo! I will say what I wanted to say. Not to be disrespectful Mrs. Arroyo, but I think my brother has been doing his best for this country. I’m sure my dad – a national hero, and my mom, an icon of democracy are proud of him. Bakit Mrs Arroyo, sino po ba ang nakakulong ngayon? Sino po ba ang patung-patong ang kaso? Sino po ba…
NOY: Kristina, tama na.
KRIS: Wait lang! Sino po ba ang nasa hospital at nagsa-suffer? Sino po ba ang hindi maka-travel? Si Noy po ba? O kayo?
BALLSY: Krissy, answering machine ang kausap mo. Mukha kang tanga!
KRIS: Gosh, oo nga, I forgot. Hay naku! Ito naman kasing si Viel hindi nagsasalita. ‘Yan tuloy, mega-emote ako sa answering machine. Ate Pinky, next message please!

Toooooooot!
“Mr. President, this is CJ Corona. Diktador ka! Isinusumpa ko, hindi maibabalik sa ‘yong pamilya ang Hacienda Luisita. Tandaan mo ‘yan! Sandali, birthday mo daw? Pakialam ko!”


KRIS: I hate him! I really hate him. Sana ma-convict ka! Hate you much!
NOY: High blood ka na naman.
KRIS: And have you seen his wife Noy? I swear, she looks like a matandang Kiray.
NOY: I know.
KRIS: In fairness, nag-agree ka! You hate him talaga ‘no? Aha-ha-ha Next message please.

Toooooooot!
“Hi Sir! Grace Lee here. Thanks for keeping me company last night. I totally enjoyed it. By the way, it’s your birthday. Saengil chukha hamnida! What do you want pala on your birthday? I might just give it.”


KRIS: Oh my God. Keri mo ‘yon Ate Pinky? Palay na ang lumalapit ngayon sa manok! Noy, grab it! Tuka lang nang tuka! Aha-ha-ha!
BALLSY: Krissy, your language.
KRIS: I’m sorry. Do you like her Noy?
NOY: Pwede bang next message na!?
KRIS: Ay, madaya! Nooo. Sagutin mo muna. Are you attracted to her?
NOY: Basta.
KRIS: Anong basta? Helllooo! Ano ka 17? Fifty-two ka na. Either you’re into her or not.
NOY: Pag-iisipan ko pa.
KRIS: Aww, that’s a bit gay. Promise.
NOY: Kristina!! Nasa pamamahay kita!
KRIS: Uki… quiet na lang ako. Fine. Again. Next message…

Toooooooot!
“Hi Sir, si Grace Lee ulit ‘to. ‘Di ba ‘you suggested that I see Kris? You think magugustuhan n’ya ako? Alam mo naman ‘yong kapatid mo, kapag ayaw sa tao, ayaw talaga niya! She’s such a character!”

KRIS: Helllllloooo! Intrigahin ba ako!?! Hay naku Noy, gusto ko na siyang mameet in person. I can’t wait.
PINKY: Krissy, ‘yan ka na naman. The girl seems to be nice.
KRIS: Helllooo. ‘Yan din ang sabi n’yo kay Shalani. O, nasa’n na siya ngayon? Tama ang kutob ko!
NOY: Kristina! Kapag ‘di ka tumahimik d’yan, hindi na ko magya-yaya kina Josh at Bimby sa Bahay Pangarap this weekend!
KRIS: Ayyyy, threatening much! Uki… quiet na lang ako. Fine! Next message Ate Ballsy.

Toooooooot!
“Mr. President, at your service, Senator Frank Drilon here. I’m wishing you a happy birthday. ‘Yong gift ko… panoorin mo na lang ang impeachment trial. You’ll notice naman eh. Happy birthday.”


KRIS: I love you Tito Frank! He’s sooo cute Noy, do you agree? Para siyang lalaking Juana Change. Aha-ha-ha
NOY: Don’t ever mention the name of that woman again.
KRIS: Ooops, sorry naman. Edwin Lacierda ang peg? Hate mo pa rin si Juana Change?
NOY: Sabi ko, huwag mo nang babanggitin ang pangalang ‘yan!
KRIS: Ay! Mad ang lolo n’yo! Uki… quiet na lang ako. Anyway, kay Tito Frank… you’re doing a great job. Sobrang fair mo sa trial as in! ‘Noy, ‘di ba may dinner kayo ni Tito Frank at ng prosecution team tomorrow night?
NOY: Kristina! That’s supposed to be confidential!
KRIS: Gano’n?!? Uki… quiet na lang ako. Sorry. Last message… Ate Ballsy, press mo naaaa!

Toooooooot!
“Mr. Prisidint, si Manny Pacquiao po ‘to. Sabi ng mga taga-Ruma sa Chaptir 13, Virs 8: Huwag kayong magkakaroon ng utang kaninuman, maliban sa saguting magmahalan sa isa’t isa, sapagkat ang nagmamahal sa kapwa ay tumutupad sa Kautusan.” Maligayang kaarawan Mistir Prisidint. Make lab not war. To air is human, and it is divine. Think you, think you at maraming salamat sa pagsupurta sa Mani Mini Prizes.”

KRIS: Nakakaloka! Pati ba naman sa answering machine, mag-promote??!! Hindi ko siya kinakaya!
NOY: Hayaan mo na Kris.
KRIS: ‘Tsaka, ‘to air is human.’ Gross! Promise. That’s so gross! And what did he say before that? Make lab??? Anong tingin n’ya sa ‘yo Noy? Scientist! Aha-ha-ha ‘Sabagay, mukha ka namang nerd.
NOY: Kristina!!!
KRIS: Uki, quiet na lang ako. Fine.

BALLSY: Before we have dinner Noy, I just wanted to say na this has been a good week for us. Not just for the family but for the prosecution panel in the impeachmen trial. Pero higit sa lahat…
KRIS: Ako na Ate Ballsy! Moment ko ‘to! Guys, I am single again! Yeyyyyy! Happiness!
(Applause)
KRIS: Promise ko sa inyo Noy, Ate Ballsy, Ate Pinky, Ate Quiet Viel, never ko na kayong bibigyan ng sakit ng ulo when it comes to men. Natuto na talaga ako promise!
BALLSY: Sure na ba ‘yan?
KRIS: Sure na!  Pero aminin n’yo, ang cute talaga ni Coco Martin. Aha-ha-ha ‘Di ba Noy?
NOY: Sort of. Joooke!
KRIS: Sort of? Meh ganun? Kaloka. Teka, last na lang… gusto ko siyempreng pasalamatan ang mga lawyers ko, at si James na rin for being cooperative. At higit sa lahat, thank you, thank you talaga, love na love ko na siya dahil super bilis siyang nakapag-decide sa annulment case na ito: Makati City RTC Judge Cristina Sulit! To Judge Sulit, I love you naaa. (Noy raises hand) Yes, Noy…
NOY: Sulit? What’s Sulit mama?!
KRIS: Ayyy, hindi mo keri! Mukha kang tanga. Aha-ha-aha
NOY: Uki… quiet na lang ako. Fine.

Happy 52nd birthday Mr. President!
——————————————————————————————————-
“Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.”
~Jennifer Yane

Quote of the Day
“I hope he makes a good choice if he is choosing at his age. He should be choosing for a potential mate unless he is resigned to be a bachelor forever then I will advise him that it is a life of complete misery. Everyone needs a partner in life, a life partner. Let’s wish him good luck in his search.”
~Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago on President Aquino’s love life

Share this on Facebook and Twitter: Add to FaceBookAdd to Twitter
I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

SAY GRACE


PRESIDENT AQUINO has confirmed reports he recently dated TV host and radio jock Grace Lee. For the record, the President and Ms Lee have so far dated two or three times. Or as Niel Tupas and the prosecution team would probably say 45 times.

President Aquino admits he and Korean Grace Lee are seeing each other. The President believes that Grace is his Seoul mate.

Confirmed! TV and radio host Grace Lee, 29 is officially dating President Noynoy Aquino, 52. Again, dating. Not carbon dating.

Grace Lee was quoted to have said that President Aquino was “brilliant, if not the most intelligent man I’ve met in my life.” Apparently, she had met only a few.

From 45 to 24
Despite television footage showing otherwise, lead prosecutor Niel Tupas denied that the prosecution presented to the media documents that would prove Chief Justice Corona owned 45 properties. Tupas said they could only present evidence for 21 to 24. And this just in: Tupas has denied saying that “like Judas Iscariot,” Mr Corona “betrayed God for a few pieces of gold.” He clarified that it’s for a few pieces of rubies only.

From 45 properties, Niel Tupas is now saying Corona owns only 21 to 24 pala. Talk about misdeclaration.

Observers who have been monitoring the Corona impeachment trial say his conviction is sort of a ‘mission impossible’ for the prosecution. And Niel Tupas is the tape that self-destructs every 5 seconds.

First Time
For the first time since the impeachment trial started, Sen. Lito Lapid asked a prosecutor one clarificatory question last Wednesday. That’s a rare spectacle: Lito Lapid and a prosecutor. On the one hand, you have a stupid guy who takes the floor and gets ridiculed, and on the other hand, you have Lito Lapid.

Manila Bulletin
Last February 2, the Manila Bulletin celebrated its founding anniversary. The daily is now 112 years old – making it the next possible candidate for presiding officer in the impeachment trial.

Dissolved
The marriage of James Yap and Kris Aquino has finally been annulled. Congratulations… James Yap!

Kris Aquino has officially announced that she’s single again. Of course, this is the best time to announce it. She can’t just let Grace Lee have all the attention.

Kris Aquino’s lawyers say the ex-couple’s marital problems were rooted in “personality disorders.” James doesn’t have personality; Kris has disorders.

Facebook Timeline
In less than a week, Facebook Timeline will be mandatory for all users. Timeline will show off posts that people might have wanted to forget. Last night, Niel Tupas and Miro Quimbo decided to delete their Facebook posts claiming Corona owned 45 properties.

Facebook Timeline will now be mandatory. Justice Serafin Cuevas is excited to display his posts from as far back as the 18th Century.
———————————————————————————————————–
“Lust fades, so you’d better be with someone who can stand you.”
~ The Story of Us

Quote of the Day
“Apparently, the trial outside the courtroom is proceeding faster than the trial inside the court.”
~Senator-Judge Gregorio Honasan

More PickUp Lines
Si Senator Enrile ka ba? | BAKIT? | Kasi… you’re the JUAN! Boom!”

Si Vice President Jejomar Binay ka ba? | BAKIT? | Kasi, gusto kong maging liwanag sa iyong dilim! | Boom!

Si BIR Commissioner Kim Henares ka ba? | BAKIT | Kasi, handa kong IBUWIS ang buhay ko para sa ‘yo! | Boom!

Happy February! Spread the love!

Share this on Facebook and Twitter: Add to FaceBookAdd to Twitter
I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

%d bloggers like this: