FLIPTOP WAR: POLITICS EDITION

WHILE WE WAIT for further developments in the ongoing saga that is the Arroyos v Leila De Lima (v Korte Suprema), why don’t we cool things down a bit with this fliptop rap battle? Enjoy!

Match No. 1: Atty. Edwin Lacierda vs. Atty. Ferdie Topacio

Attorney Lacierda:
I heard na feeling mo raw ay isa kang winner
Matapos na mag-trend itlog mo sa Twitter
I won’t even dare or attempt to imagine
Maitim mong bola solong naglalambitin!
Eeew…

Attorney Topacio:
Kung maka-eeew ka naman, para kang bakla eh
Mas madaldal ka pa kesa kay Abi Valte
Katahimikan, katahimikan, kung ayaw mong mabugbog
Insecure ka siguro sa famous kong betlog!

Attorney Lacierda:
Outrageous! Distasteful! Para ka namang gutom
Seryosong usapan, sahugan ba ng scrotum?!?
Malinaw ang aming stand, ‘di kami papayag
Ma-cite man ng contempt; ‘paputol ka man ng bayag!

Attorney Topacio:
As I’ve said…
Ang “itlog quote” na ‘yon ay isang figure of speech
Huwag mo nang palakihin, you son of a bitch
Ang mahalaga’y wagi kami sa ruling ng hukuman
Masanay na lang kayo, talunang Malacañang!
Break it down.

Intermission:
What’s “itlog” mama? Meron ba ako no’n?
What did you say Bimby? Sa’n mo narinig ‘yon?
I heard it on TV mama! Is itlog masarap?
Stop it Bimby! And don’t watch TV when I’m not here!
Good night Mama.
Good night Bimby.

Match No. 2: Justice Sec. Leila De Lima vs. Mrs. Elena Bautista-Horn

Secretary De Lima:
Sinong mas powerful?? Sure akong alam mo na
Isang tawag ko nga lang, biyahe’y napurnada
Sumisikat ka na, tama na ‘yang papansin
Baka naman gusto mong tumakbo sa 2013?

Elena Bautista-Horn:
Look who’s talking…
‘Di ba’t ikaw ang gustong maging senadora?
Kakaupo mo pa nga lang, pumupostura ka na
Powerful?!? Teka lang, baka ’power tripping’
And lest you forget madam, you lost in the voting
It’s 8-5 darling!

Secretary De Lima:
Grabe ang loyalty mo, kakaiba ka nga Len
Wait lang dear, ‘yang suweldo mo, saan kaya galing?
And please, ‘wag mong ipagmalaki ang boto ng SC
I’m ready for more rumble, this war could get ugly!

Elena Bautista-Horn:
Nakakatawa…
Puro dakdak, puro banta, inaaliw n’yo ang tao
Wala pa ngang napa-file kahit isa man lang kaso
Don’t threaten us, or the SC of a looming brawl
Makulay ka lang magsalita, kasingkulay ng iyong shawl!
Break it down.

Intermission:
What’s ‘brawl’ mama? I heard it in the news today.
That’s bad Bimby. It’s when two people make away.
Oh, it’s like you and papa when you’re pasaway?
Gosh, who told you that?
Nobody mama. I saw you when you brawled before.
Whaaat? Not true! Good night na nga Bimby.
Good night mama.

Match No. 3: Mr. President vs. Self

Self:
Uy! And’yan ka pa pala, hindi ko maramdaman
Guerra na sa NAIA; ikaw, parang wala lang
Ano bang bago sa ‘tin, would you like to share
I’m just concerned dude; be thankful I still care.

Mr. President:
‘Di ko yata gusto ang iyong mga hirit
Para kang Supreme Court na nakakagalit
FYI: De Lima is my alter ego
Whatever I say, believe me, she’ll follow!

Self:
Wow, accomplishment! Papalakpak na ba ‘ko?
Eh ‘yong 10.4 milyong nagugutom na tao?

Mr. President:
Dinky’s in charge. ‘Wag kang mag-alala.
Nahahalata ko lang, antagonistic ka.

Self:
Nagsasabi lang nang totoo, antagonistic na agad ako?
‘Di ba pwedeng “honest” muna sa nakikita sa ‘yo?
Oh by the way, miss ko na ang mga chicks natin.
Wala pa bang bago? Masyado ka nang malihim.

Mr. President:
My priority is my job, ‘wag ka ngang makialam
Kung gusto mong ma-inlove, labas na ako d’yan!

Self:
Nagbibiro lang ako ‘tol; ba’t ba ang sungit mo?
‘La naman akong neck brace ah, and I’m not an Arroyo!

Mr. President:
Ang kulit mo kasi, para kang si Bimby!
I’ll deal with you na lang when I get back from Bali.

Self:
In fairness… buma-Bali na si Noynoy
Baka naman dala mo pa ang ‘yong favorite toy!

Mr. President:
Ulol! Tigilan mo na ‘yang PSP issue na ‘yan.
That is so history… panahon pa ng halalan.

Self:
Last question na lang bago ka tumalikod
Kapag si GMA bumalik, magpapaputol ka ba ng itlog?

Mr. President:
Ha-ha-ha! Talagang napatawa mo ako ngayon!
Bakit? Kamukha ko ba si Topacio na hawig kay Doraemon?

Self:
Kung makapanlait ka naman, feeling mo ikaw si Gerald Anderson
Alam mo kung sinong kamukha natin? Sino pa? Eh ‘di si Homer Simpson!

Mr. President:
Ulol!

Self:
Break it down.
———————————————————————————————————
“This is a court of law, young man, not a court of justice.”
~Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Quote of the Day
“Kaibigan ko si Secretary De Lima. But in her zeal to carry out instructions of her superior, I think she may have overstepped the bounds of our system. I feel grief stricken. I feel like slashing my wrist. I feel like slitting my throat. That is what we were taught in law school. We simply have to obey the law no matter how we feel about it. In our tripartite system of democracy, whatever the Supreme Court says prevails. Last night I wanted to commit suicide. You asked whether she is guilty of contempt, yes, absolutely.”
~Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago

Enjoy the rest of the week. Peace and justice to all. Merry Christmas!

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