STATE OF THE NATION, A DRESS

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GMA’s Sona Attire
Malacañang says President Arroyo will wear an eco-friendly gown when she delivers the State of the Nation Address on Monday. Created by fashion designer JC Buendia, the dress will be a blend of silk and pineapple fibers. Buendia has denied allegations that the gown has been found to contain traces of endosulfan.

GMA’s Sona Attire II
President Arroyo will wear a pink gown when she delivers her 8th State of the Nation Address on Monday. Malacañang dismissed rumors that MMDA Chairman Bayani Fernando had a hand in choosing her gown.

null GMA’s Sona Attire III
The president will wear a pink gown when she delivers her SONA on Monday. She has been strongly advised not to walk anywhere near Edsa lest male passersby mistake her for MMDA’s pink urinal.

GMA’s Sona Attire IV
President Arroyo will wear an eco-friendly gown when she delivers her State of the Nation Address on Monday in accordance with her campaign to protect the environment. And to show her concern for the recently reported endangerment and extinction of half of the country’s fauna, she has assured the attendance of the First Gentleman, Dato, Mikey, and Luli Arroyo.

GMA’s Sona Attire V
President Arroyo will wear an eco-friendly gown when she delivers her State of the Nation Address on Monday. With a negative 38 approval rating from a skeptical citizenry, the only friendship she has left is with nature and she’s trying to preserve it.

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JDV’s Wife and GMA’s Sona
After seven years of attending and applauding President Arroyo’s State of the Nation Address, Gina De Venecia, wife of former House speaker Jose de Venecia Jr. will snub the event and join militant groups in the anti-GMA rally on Monday. The situation could be tense but both Mrs. De Venecia’s camp and the leftist groups’ camp have vowed to exercise maximum tolerance… on “kaplastikan.”

JDV’s Wife and GMA’s Sona II
Mrs. Gina De Venecia says she will not attend President Arroyo’s State of the Nation Address… mainly because she couldn’t accept the fact that her husband JDV will surely get less TV exposure this time.

JDV’s Wife and GMA’s Sona III
Mrs. Gina De Venecia, wife of ousted House Speaker Jose De Venecia, announced that she would not attend President Arroyo’s State of the Nation Address on Monday. May nagtanong ba?

Pro-Life Rally
Some 12,000 pro-life supporters led by 15 bishops staged a prayer rally in Manila to affirm their commitment to a Vatican decree against artificial birth control. A surprise guest speaker, Manny Pacguiao told the crowd, “Let’s follow God’s teachings… to go forth and multiply.” And then added, “’Wag na Friendster.”

Comelec Rules vs. Miriam null
Dismissing a petition filed by Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago, the Commission on Elections has ruled that politicians who appear in advertisements, including billboards, and have expressed their intention to run for the 2010 elections are not committing any offence. Unless of course you’re Loren Legarda who has chosen to endorse a fake drug.

null NPA in NCR?
The Communist Party of the Philippines denied that it has deployed NPA rebels in Metro Manila to blow up establishments and assassinate key government officials including the president… which is possibly true because the strength of the NPA rebels has considerably waned, the only enemy they can actually kill are the lowly security guards in Globe cell sites that they love to blow up.

“Katas ng VAT”
President Arroyo launched “Katas ng VAT: Tulong Para Kay Lolo at Lola” in Pasig City yesterday. Some 1,000 elderly poor were the first recipients of the P500 cash gift. The lolos and the lolas couldn’t hide their excitement. They can finally change their week-old diapers.

QUESTIONS FOR JDV

null Top 10 Pointless Questions to Ask Jose De Venecia Jr. When He Testifies Before the Senate

10: If you were a Star Wars character, who would you be and why?

9: Please complete the sentence: “A man with big ears has a long…”

8: Does it bother you when, walking with your wife Gina, you hear people say, “Ang sweet naman ng mag-ama!”

7: What do these people have in common aside from their name: Jose Marcelo Ejercito, Jose De Venecia, Jose Miguel Arroyo?

6: Where were you when Joey De Venecia III was smoking marijuana?

5: What advice can you give a man with a wife who refuses to shut up because of bitterness?

4: What is the origin of the idiom “sour grapes?”

3: Considering your vast knowledge on the subject, can you please define “corruption” in five words or less?

2: You are considered to be the father of the “pork barrel.” Your daughter died in a fire in 2004. Your son lost out the bidding to ZTE for the NBN project in 2007. You were ousted as House Speaker in 2008. And the ghost of the 500-million dollar NorthRail project continues to hound you up to this day. Mr. Congressman, do you believe in karma?

And the no. 1 pointless question to ask Cong. Jose De Venecia Jr. when he testifies before the Senate…

1: When will you fix the roof of your house?

THIEVERY CORPORATION

De Venecia on the ZTE Deal null

Ousted House Speaker Jose De Venecia says if he were to testify now on the ZTE NBN deal, his revelations may cause the fall of the Arroyo government. That’s the kind of fall the militants wanted to see, not Ka Bel’s.

Cong. Jose De Venecia vows to testify on the ZTE NBN deal at the right time “before the proper forum.” Well, if he keeps waiting for a forum that’s not improper, his testimony could take time.

Former Speaker Jose De Venecia will testify on the ZTE NBN deal “at the right time.” For now, he needs to complete his testimony before another forum – Gina De Venecia.

Sen. Aquilino Pimentel acknowledged that De Venecia’s Senate appearance could “backfire” on him since he was also involved in the controversial $500-million NorthRail project. We therefore appeal to you Mr. former Speaker, please… testify now!

null Meralco Stockholders’ Meeting

While consumers have yet to get the refund for the padded electric charges amounting to billions of pesos, Manila Electric Company’s wealthy executives will convene for Tuesday’s Meralco stockholders meeting – the second biggest gathering of thieves in recent years next only to the House of Representatives.

Cabbies Arrested

Seven taxicab drivers were arrested in Makati City for overcharging their passengers. Police are verifying reports the drivers were former Meralco employees.

null Swaziland King in Manila

President Arroyo was thankful for the state visit of King Mswati III of the impoverished African nation of Swaziland. When she’s with him, she feels like a leader of a first world country.

King Mswati III of Swaziland arrived last night for a state visit. When Erap heard the news, he expressed interest to meet Mswati saying he wants to open an account – in Berne.

THEY CAME, THEY SAW, THEY CONCURRED

null Interfaith Rally

Tens of thousands of anti-Arroyo protesters converged at the corner of Ayala Avenue and Paseo De Roxas Street in Makati City Friday and called for the resignation of President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo. Among the speakers at the rally, ZTE NBN scandal whistleblower Rodolfo “Jun” Lozada drew the loudest cheers from the crowd – automatically making him the frontrunner for the opposition’s 2010 senatorial draft.

null Interfaith Rally II

While protesters were shouting anti-GMA slogans in Makati City, it was business as usual for President Arroyo who even made short trips to Bulacan and Luneta. As Romulo Neri would have described it, that’s the “devil-may-care” attitude.

Interfaith Rally III

While the interfaith rally was ongoing, hundreds of government officials – including more then 100 congressmen, more than 40 governors, and mayors – allied with the President were at Malacañang to attend a mass requested by Camarines Sur 1st District Rep. Diosdado “Dato” Arroyo. Rumors say the priest who celebrated the mass is still in shock. It was his first time to officiate a mass attended by that so many evils.

null Interfaith Rally IV

Short of admitting his reported illicit dalliances, Jun Lozada asked the Makati City crowd, “Mapapatawad n’yo po ba ako sa aking ginawa?” A crowd led by former president Joseph Estrada cheered: “Why not?!”

Interfaith Rally V

The wives of the jailed members of the Magdalo group joined the interfaith rally at Ayala Avenue and stayed there ‘til evening. For once… their night was never lonely.

null Interfaith Rally VI

Days before the interfaith rally in Makati City, defeated presidential candidate and Jesus Is Lord Movement leader Bro. Eddie Villanueva said that 100,000 of his followers will attend the rally. Makati City Mayor Jejomar Binay estimated the Makati crowd at 80,000. If Villanueva was telling the truth about his flock, that makes every single person in that Makati City rally a Born-again Christian. Amen!

Villanueva’s Flock

In 2004, Bro. Eddie Villanueva said that the five million strong Jesus is Lord Movement will make him president. He lost.  Last week, Villanueva promised to lead his 100,000 followers to the interfaith rally in Makati. Just wondering: what happened to the other 4.9 million?

Susan A No-Show

Character actor Rez Cortez, leader of the FPJ Movement for Truth and Democracy revealed that Susan Roces, FPJ’s widow “does not want to mix up with us anymore” and has refused to join political rallies. In fairness to Ms Roces, she may have yet to see the truth but she seems to have seen the light.

In Other News… null

Noli is Prepared

Vice President Noli De Castro said, “I am always ready to assume the presidency.” Kami, hindi.

Pulse Asia Survey

The latest Pulse Asia survey on the ZTE NBN controversy showed that 76% of Metro Manila residents distrust the president while 76% distrust the First Gentleman. How sweet! Even in surveys, they’re a perfect match!

Gina De Venecia, Again

Gina De Venecia, wife of the ousted House Speaker lamented that President Arroyo once told her, “I am the president, you’re just a housewife.” So, anong problema mo?

Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

ARF!

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JOEY SALCEDA’s off-tangent remark on President Arroyo was half-amusing, half-disturbing. If her own men wouldn’t respect her, who else will? Let me start this post by quoting a portion of a ’90s hit from singer/songwriter/guitarist Meredith Brooks. (I actually imagine GMA singing this tune.) The title of the song? BITCH.

“I’m a bitch, I’m a lover
I’m a child, I’m a mother
I’m a sinner, I’m a saint
I do not feel ashamed.”

Eksakto ba?

Salceda and GMA

Economic adviser and Albay Governor Joey Salceda described President Arroyo as “the luckiest bitch.” ‘Yan po ang dahilan kung bakit lagi siyang napapaligiran – ng mga tuta.

Salceda and GMA II

Albay Governor Joey Salceda says President Arroyo is a “lucky bitch.” Sought for a reaction, the president didn’t say a word. She barked! (Arf!)

Salceda and GMA III

In a forum at the Ateneo De Manila campus in Makati City, Albay Gov. Joey Salceda remarked that President Arroyo’s “a bitch.” So what does that make then of Mikey, Dato, and Luli? ‘Naknamput*?!? (Mean!)

Salceda and GMA IV null

Albay Governor Joey Salceda said that he was “just joking” when he made his “bitch” remark on President Arroyo – something that was totally unnecessary because, with or without a joke, he already looked like a punch line.

IN OTHER NEWS…

KC vs. Hunger

The United Nations World Food Programme has named young star KC Concepcion as the Philippines’ ambassador against hunger… mainly because every time Filipinos stare at her mother Sharon – busog na sila.

Gina’s Rant

Of late, Gina De Venecia, wife of ousted House Speaker Jose De Venecia has been hurling allegations after allegations against Mrs. Arroyo and her administration. Because of this, she has been chosen as the newest endorser of a dietary supplement – Charantia Ampalaya… kahon pa lang bitter na!

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