NO DEAL

amonged Panlilio for President?
Pampanga governor Ed Panlilio’s supporters want him to run for president in 2010. Rumors say Panlilio is willing to accept the challenge if and only if every city and municipality in the country would open a quarry site.

Panlilio for President? II
Pampanga governor Ed Panlilio says he won’t leave the priesthood even if he runs for president. But that’s okay. After all, a number of our senators and congressmen didn’t leave the circus when they ran for Congress.


“Alabang Boys” Case
Justice Secretary Raul Gonzalez has ordered the filing of charges against high-profile suspected drug dealers Richard Brodett, Jorge Joseph and Joseph Tecson otherwise known as the “Alabang Boys.” State prosecutor John Resado felt so guilty he decided to just return the 1.6 million pesos to the boys’ relatives.

“Alabang Boys” Case II
After more than six months, Justice Secretary Raul Gonzalez has finally ordered the filing of charges against the Alabang Boys. When the news came out, Embassy Super Club co-owner Tim Yap received several text messages that read, “We’re sorry for your loss.”

jaloss1 Jalosjos Goes Malling
A couple of days after his release from prison, convicted rapist and former Zamboanga Del Norte congressman Romeo Jalosjos went to the mall. He spent an hour shopping, an hour eating, two hours at the movies, and half a day “strolling” at Toy Kingdom’s Barbie and Bratz dolls section.

pacman Pacquiao Backtracks
A day after insisting that his May 2 fight will be shown on ABS-CBN, Manny Pacquiao backtracked and decided to honor his legally binding contract with Solar Sports. In a period of only four days, Pacquiao became Kapuso, Kapamilya, and Katawa-tawa.

dyanc ABS-CBN’s celebration was cut short when Manny Pacquiao decided to honor his contract with Solar Sports. Because of this development, ABS-CBN will no longer give a bonus to Dyan Castillejo.

Inquirer columnist Beth Celis said a lady brokered the aborted deal between Manny Pacquiao and ABS-CBN. Did I say ABS-CBN is no longer giving Dyan Castillejo a bonus?

In a press conference yesterday, Manny Pacquiao revealed that the statement he read during an ABS-CBN newscast insisting that his fight would be shown on the Kapamilya channel was actually prepared by representatives of the network. Sources say the prepared statement was actually drafted by the writers of “Maalaala Mo Kaya.”

Did you see Dyan Castillejo’s futile attempt to get a statement from Manny Pacquiao outside his training camp in Los Angeles? Geez, the rumor must be true after all! Dyan will replace Nicolette Sheridan in “Desperate Housewives.”

This Just In! Sketchy reports say Manny Pacquiao will not be wearing shoes when he fights Ricky Hatton on May 2! You know what he’s going to wear? Flip-flops.

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“Lack of loyalty is one of the major causes of failure in every walk of life.”
~Napoleon Hill

MEN OF SUBSTANCE 2


Top 10 Shocking Findings of the Independent Probe Conducted on the Alabang Boys Bribery Scandal

10: The Alabang Boys were actually fraternal triplets.

9: When Alabang boy Jorge Joseph (son of Johnny Midnight) was nabbed by PDEA agents, he was carrying three liters of toning water.

8: Tim Yap and his Embassy friends are regular visitors of the Alabang Boys at the PDEA detention cell bringing with them big placards that say: “Justice for the Alabang Boys, Justice for All Social Users!”

7: The parents of the Alabang Boys were loyal clients of DOJ Prosecutor John Resado’s lending business.

6: The controversial DOJ letterhead where the release order was drafted by one of the lawyers of the Alabang Boys (for the DOJ Secretary to sign) is being sold in Recto Avenue, Manila for years.

5: There was a fourth Alabang Boy, and a fifth, a sixth, a seventh, an eight, a ninth, a 10th, an 11th, a 12th, a 13th, a 14th and so on. They’re just out there.

4: A surprise witness, Clarissa Ocampo claimed she was one foot away when a relative of one of the Alabang Boys deposited the bribe money to the bank account of DOJ prosecutor John Resado.

3: The Alabang Boys attempted to bribe DOJ Secretary Raul Gonzales with a year-long supply of Viagra. He felt insulted and didn’t sign the release order.

2: When one of the Alabang Boys was chased during the buy-bust operation, he tried to seek refuge at the St. Luke’s Medical Center (clasping his chest), but PDEA agents caught him before he could reach the hospital.

And the No. 1 shocking finding of the independent probe conducted on the Alabang Boys bribery scandal…

1: This is a high-profile scandal, right? But guess what? The Alabang Boys were not Ateneans!

In Other News…
Japanese finance minister Shoichi Nakagawa is stepping down following reports that he was drunk at a recent G-7 news conference in Rome. In announcing his plan to quit, Nakagawa said, “I have caused trouble to the people.” If Filipino politicians were to emulate Nakagawa, we’d be a leaderless nation right now.

Citibank Client Goes Berserk?
Is this for real? You be the judge.

R&B: Rhythm and Bloodied
Here’s a photo of R&B artist Rihanna after being assaulted by boyfriend Chris Brown.
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“A man should never be ashamed to own that he has been in the wrong, which is but saying… that he is wiser today than yesterday.”
~Jonathan Swift

DAMAGED IMAGE

resado2
Top 5 Ways DOJ Prosecutor John Resado Can Improve His Public Image

5: Agree to fight Ricky Hatton or Floyd Mayweather Jr.

4: Organize an Anti-Drug Abuse Party to be attended by all PDEA agents and DOJ prosecutors at the Embassy Super Club.

3: Play golf at the Valley Golf and Country Club; argue with the Pangandamans; allow himself to be beaten black and blue, and then blog about it.

2: Start dressing up like Bebe Gandanghari and announce on TV that “John Resado is dead.”

And the No. 1 way DOJ Prosecutor John Resado can improve his public image…

1: Offer loan packages at zero percent interest.

CONTINGENCY FUND

null PNP’s “Contingency Fund” Mess
Former PNP comptroller Eliseo dela Paz (who attended the 77th Interpol Assembly in St. Petersburg) has been cleared by Russian custom officials after he and his wife were questioned for two hours in Moscow for carrying 105,000 thousand euros or 6.9 million pesos worth of undeclared cash. De La Paz was allowed to leave despite the fact that he was able to answer only one of two questions poised by Russian officials: One, “Why are you carrying that huge amount of money? And two, “What the f*ck is your wife doing at the Interpol conference?”

PNP’s “Contingency Fund” Mess II null
Former PNP comptroller Eliseo de la Paz who was attending an Interpol conference in Moscow was questioned along with his wife, by Russian customs officials for carrying 105,000 thousand euros 6.9 million pesos worth of undeclared cash. De La Paz said a portion of the money was from a friend who asked him to buy watches. PNP spokesman Chief Supt. Nicanor Bartolome claimed it was “travel contingency fund” that came from the PNP. President Arroyo announced the money came from the World Bank.

PNP’s “Contingency Fund” Mess III
According to reports, former PNP comptroller Eliseo de la Paz, who was questioned for two hours in Russia for carrying 105,000 thousand euros or 6.9 million pesos worth of undeclared cash, will reportedly return to Manila on Tuesday, October 21. But De La Paz was quick to deny the report saying it was impossible for him to return on Tuesday… because his wife is not done shopping yet.

Top 7 Movies Starring Former PNP Comptroller Eliseo de la Paz and his Wife

7: You Don’t Mess with the Russian

6: Invasion of the Money Snatchers

5: The Lord of Laundering: The Two Robbers

4: Harry Potter and Wallet on Fire

3: The Year of Shopping Dangerously

2: Mamma Millions!

And the No. 1 movie starring former PNP comptroller Eliseo de la Paz and his wife…

1: BELAT: Cultural Learnings of Russia for Make Benefit Notorious Police Officers of Pilipina

null In Other News…
Loren and Angara
Asked by showbiz reporters if there’s truth to persistent rumors linking her to Sen. Edgardo Angara, Sen Loren Legarda replied, “Diyos ko naman! Galing na nga ako sa matanda. Pupunta pa ba ako sa mas matanda?” When Senator Angara heard this, he said, “Hoy! Mas bata naman ako nang makuha kita ‘no!”

Davao Millionaire
The lone winner in last week’s super lotto draw has reportedly claimed the jackpot prize. That makes him the Filipino with the biggest amount of money in his hands right now. Coming in at second is former PNP comptroller Eliseo De La Paz.

Joey-Willie Bury Hatchet null
Fierce rivals Willie Revillame and Joey De Leon, whose fiery and nasty exchange made headlines recently have reportedly “kissed and made up” during an event held at Tim Yap’s Embassy Super Club. Skeptics however have doubted the sincerity of the two hosts… because if it happened at Embassy, there’s a huge chance they were just drugged.

Elsewhere…
Check out this hilarious video. Garden wedding, anyone?

Are you familiar with Patani, the overexposed Survivor Philippines castaway/outcast? Check out her unedited Friendster profile.

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Money: There’s nothing in the world so demoralizing as money.
– Sophocles

LOWTATHIONE

Anwar and GMA

Former Malaysian Deputy Premier Anwar Ibrahim was arrested for sodomizing a former aide. GMA is far more fortunate. She keeps screwing millions Filipinos and no one has filed a suit.

The Population Debate

President Arroyo is reportedly taking the side of the bishops on the raging issue of population management. So don’t be surprised if a reporter attempts again to ask GMA about her sex life, and she replies with, “Plenty.” She’s just being Catholic.

null Loren and Lucida

Sen. Loren Legarda ordered the dismantling of her Lucida-DS billboards after the Bureau of Food and Drugs recalled the whitening product from the market because its glutathione content was insufficient. Loren also asked the manufacturer of Lucida to explain why it mislabeled the product, why it deceived the public, and why was her talent fee as endorser much lower than Gabby Concepcion’s.

Loren and Lucida II

Following BFAD’s recall order on the controversial whitening product Lucida-DS, Sen. Loren Legarda ordered the dismantling of Lucida-DS billboards showing her as endorser. Loren reportedly believed BFAD’s findings that Lucida-DS contained insufficient amount of glutathione when she noticed no significant change in her dark armpits despite repeated intake of the product.

The Isnajis and the ARMM Elections

The Philippine National Police barred detained Indanan, Sulu Mayor Alvarez Isnaji and his son, Haider, from campaigning outside their detention cell for the Autonomous Region in Muslim Mindanao elections in August. Sought for a reaction, Mayor Isnaji said, “That’s unfair. Kung kelan may campaign funds kami saka naman pinagbawalang mangampanya!”

Pacquiao’s Two Belts

The World Boxing Council has ordered Manny Pacquiao to give up one of his two championship belts because no boxer is allowed to own two belts in two separate weight divisions. Although saddened by the order, Pacquiao chose the lightweight over the featherweight belt. That’s the second most difficult choice Pacquiao has made in recent months next only to his decision to dump Ara Mina in favor of his wife Jinkee.

The Fight Club

Embassy Super Club, the notorious bar at Bonifacio Global City co-owned by the equally, if not more infamous party-animal Tim Yap was allowed to re-open three weeks after it was ordered closed by Taguig City following the mauling and death of a customer. Nope, there’s no truth to rumors that the owners have decided to rename the bar and call it Ecstasy Super Club.

The Fight Club II

The City of Taguig allowed Embassy Super Club to re-operate on condition that customers who are known to be drug dealers and users would be barred from the establishment. Borgy Manotoc allegedly described the restriction as “totally unfair.”

Wow Mali!

The Manila Standard Today‘s story that came out Friday, July 18 titled,  “Campus gang rape ruled out,” written by reporter Florante S. Solmerin, started with this line:

“A FACT-FINDING COMMITTEE formed by the Philippine University of the Philippines debunked the claim of a 16-year-old coed of having been raped by several male students inside one of the classrooms.”