Can you believe it? It’s already the third month of 2009! What does that mean? Graduation day, summer, beach, bodies, and of course, fire! March is Fire Prevention Month. And to usher in the strict observance of Fire Prevention Month, arsonists had to torch the Baguio City Public Market.
An impeachment complaint has been filed against Ombudsman Merceditas Gutierrez. I know what you’re thinking. What?! Atenean na naman?!
A day after an impeachment complaint was filed against her, Ombudsman Merceditas Gutierrez held a press conference. Yup, she faced the media. That was really unusual… because normally, Ateneans who are under fire run to St. Luke’s first.
As the Philippine Daily Inquirer described it, former senator Jovito Salonga of the Liberal Party, “came out of retirement” just to file the impeachment complaint against Ombudsman Merceditas Gutierrez. Judging from her reaction though, looks like even Ninoy Aquino’s resurrection will not make her quit.
Former senator Jovito Salonga of the Liberal Party “came out of retirement” to file an impeachment case against Ombudsman Merceditas Gutierrez… to which the feisty Ombudsman said, “I’ll never quit my post… kahit si Mar Roxas pa ang mag-come out!”
Press Secretary Cerge Remonde insists Malacañang is keeping a hands off stance on the Gutierrez case. To prove it, they all went to Boracay and enjoyed the beach while Gutierrez faced her accusers.
Top 5 Things to Tell Ombudsman Merceditas Gutierrez That Could Possibly Make Her Quit
5: “If you resign now, we’ll let you go to Belo. But if you stay, we’ll forcibly bring you to Calayan. Now, who do you wanna look like?”
4: “St. Luke’s Medical Center has just released an advisory. Kapag may nangyari daw sa ‘yo during an impeachment trial, never ka nilang i-a-admit! So quit now!”
3: “Jose ‘Joseph’ Estrada, Jose De Venecia, Jose Miguel Arroyo, Jocelyn ‘Jocjoc’ Bolante, Celso De Los Angeles. Do you seriously want to be their muse?”
2: “Aalis ka ba sa puwesto o mumurahin ka ni Mar Roxas in public?”
And the No. 1 thing to tell Ombudsman Merceditas Gutierrez that could possibly make her quit…
1: “Maawa ka naman kay Senator Salonga. Mag-ootsenta’y nuwebe na ‘yong matanda. Isipin mo na lang tatay mo siya. Isipin mo na lang anak ka niya. Isipin mo na lang nakikiusap ang ama sa anak. Isipin mo na lang huling pakiusap na niya ito. Isipin mo na lang last chance mo na ito para mapaligaya siya. At isipin mo na lang isasadula ng “Maalala Mo Kaya” ang buhay mo. Kakaawaan ka ng publiko. Makikisimpatiya sila sa ‘yo. At muling babango ang pangalan mo. So ano? Magreresign ka ba o hindi?!? Punyeta!”
GMA in Boracay
President Arroyo was in Boracay the other day. Or as Albay Governor Joey Salceda would say it, “bitch on a beach.”
Resado In the News Again
Embattled State Prosecutor John Resado insisted that the Philippine Drug Enforcement Agency did not conduct a buy-bust operation on the group of suspected drug dealers known as the Alabang Boys. Relatives of the Alabang Boys described Resado’s latest testimony as, “honest,” “credible, “ and “worth 1.6 million.”
Have you heard the rumor? The Alabang Boys have fired their lawyers. You know why? Because the boys just realized State Prosecutor John Resado was doing a much better job compared to them.
“Euro general” and former PNP comptroller Eliseo De La Paz has strongly denied rumors he had been implicated in the fertilizer fund scam. The rumor was apparently fueled by a tabloid headline that said: “Ex-comptroller De La Paz, nag-abono!”
“Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?”
(Who will guard the guards themselves?)
~ From Satire VI of Roman Poet Juvenal