THE PROSECUTOR

resado1 Postscript to a Bank Deposit
Believe it or not, I received an anonymous letter last night. The letter, signed by a certain Juan De La Cruz asked why haven’t I heckled embattled DOJ prosecutor John Resado.

The moment I opened the letter, I knew it was authentic… mainly because it was not written on a DOJ letterhead.

DOJ Prosecutor John Resado denied accepting bribe money and insisted that the 800,000 pesos he deposited at BDO on the same the day he signed a resolution dismissing the case against the Alabang Boys came from his lending business in the Camiling Public Market in Tarlac. The unusually huge amount has prompted the Department of Foreign Affairs to verify reports that Resado is an overstaying Indian national.

reaado Have you seen or heard DOJ Prosecutor John Resado speak on TV. Geez! He must be telling the truth. Nahh, not about the bribery scandal. Mukha talaga siyang lalaking nagpapautang sa palengke.

Now, here’s the latest on John Resado. In the event that he’s disbarred by the Supreme Court, he’s reportedly planning to run for public office in Camiling in 2010. His campaign slogan? “Ang totoong Mr. Palengke.”

Intel Outside
You’ve probably heard this: some 1,800 Intel employees will be laid-off soon because the world’s biggest computer chip maker is shutting down its facility in Cavite. Soon-to-be jobless employees are seeking the advice of DOJ Prosecutor John Resado on how to start a lending business.

Jobless Pinoys
Sen. Edgardo Angara says close to 60,000 Filipinos could lose their jobs abroad due to the global recession. When Sen. Manuel Villar heard this, he told his staff, “Great! Marami na naman akong sasalubungin. Ihanda ang camera!”

Loren’s Life?
Reports say Sen. Loren Legarda is launching a new coffee table book. Titled “Loren: A Celebration of Life and Nature”, the picture book is said to be a compilation of Loren’s beliefs, principles, thoughts, and advocacies on women, children, the environment, governance and nature. In short, election paraphernalia.

Sen. Loren Legarda is launching a coffee table book in time for her 49th birthday. Titled “Loren: A Celebration of Life and Nature,” the 200-page picture book is reportedly a compilation of Loren’s thoughts and beliefs on women, children, governance and nature, which has evolved throughout her 30 years as a broadcast journalist, daughter, mother, friend, sister and two-termer senator. Again, that’s two-termer, not two-timer.

Sen. Loren Legarda turns 49 on January 28. Can you believe that? One more year and she’ll be 50… or as Hayden Kho would call it, “girlfriend material.”

PBA Finals
Talk ‘N Text and Alaska will slug it out for the championship of the PBA Philippine Cup. They used to refer to it as the “All-Filipino Cup”… until ordinary fans noticed the only genuine Filipinos left inside the court were the referees.

Elsewhere…

Newsbreak has something “juicy” on Chief Justice Reynato Puno and an item on the alleged rift between the Ombudsman and the DOJ chief.

Know more about Pseudomonas aeruginosa, the bacterium that killed Brazilian model Mariana Bridi da Costa.

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“An autobiography is only to be trusted when it reveals something disgraceful. A man who gives a good account of himself is probably lying, since any life when viewed from the inside is simply a series of defeats.”
~George Orwell

PIRATES & PRAYERS

Postscript to a Senate Coup
Did you hear about US President-elect Barack Obama’s pre-dawn call to President Arroyo last Tuesday? They say Malacañang is so proud of that one call… to which Senate President Juan Ponce Enrile said, “That’s nothing! Before dawn last Tuesday, I received 13 calls.”

As of press time Thursday, both the Senate majority and minority were claiming Sen. Lito Lapid, the confused chairman of the games and amusements committee as their own – prompting the Kapampangan action star to complain, “Ewan ko nga ba sa mga ‘yan. Ang gulu-gulo at ang ingay-ingay sa session hall. Kulang na nga ako sa tulog eh.”

Sen. Francis Escudero wants the chairmanship of the powerful Blue Ribbon committee. Sen. Richard Gordon also wants the Blue Ribbon. Other senators want Alan Peter Cayetano to keep the Blue Ribbon. Everyone is desperate for the Blue Ribbon… except perhaps for Lito Lapid whose only craving is a Red Ribbon.

A Worried JDV
Reports say Cong. Jose De Venecia is worried about the upcoming new appointments in the Supreme Court. Two days ago, he got worried when Juan Ponce Enrile was installed Senate president. He is also worried Congress might totally junk the impeachment complaint filed by his son against President Arroyo. Kawawa naman ‘tong taong ‘to. Ayaw tigilan ng konsensya. Nakakatulog pa kaya siya?

Pulse Asia Survey
In the latest survey conducted by Pulse Asia Inc, 58 percent of Filipinos said they were “losers” or “worse now” compared to last year. Sen. Manuel Villar and Cong. Jose De Venecia share the same sentiment.


Somali Pirates I
According to the Department of Foreign Affairs, the number of abducted Filipino seafarers being held hostage in waters off Somalia rose to 134 after another group of Somali pirates seized a merchant vessel with seven Filipinos on board. President Arroyo is calling on all Filipinos to pray for the safety of the hostages. She ordered Press Secretary Jesus Dureza to lead the prayer.

Somali Pirates II
Somali pirates hijacked Saudi oil super-tanker Sirius Star with 19 Filipinos on board. Sketchy reports say the Pinoy hostages were allowed to use mobile phones. Those who were able to call home assured their loved ones they are being treated humanely, with some pirates even promising them clothes, food, and a chance to meet Johnny Depp.

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If you talk to God, you are praying. If God talks to you, you have schizophrenia.
~Thomas Szasz

WHO CARES?


Palin and the Prankster
US vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin fell victim to a prank caller who identified himself as French president Nicolas Sarkozy. After six minutes of phone conversation, Palin became suspicious that it was not the French leader she was talking to when the person on the other line began asking, “Would you like to lead by one million? ‘Yong dagdag. ‘Yong dagdag.”

Filipinos on US Polls
A Social Weather Stations survey showed that 3 out of 4 Filipinos don’t care who wins in the 2008 US presidential election. But 3 out of 4 survey respondents do care who wins between Nadia Montenegro and Cristy Fermin.

JDV Signs Complaint
After weeks of dilly-dallying, Cong. Jose De Venecia has finally endorsed the impeachment complaint filed by his son against President Arroyo. A Social Weather Stations survey showed that 3 out of 4 Filipinos don’t care. Period.

Bolante’s Condition
Reports say several tests conducted on former agriculture undersecretary Jocjoc Bolante revealed the presence of multiple gastric ulcers, esophagitis and erosive gastritis – a relatively new medical condition collectively known as “whaaatever!”

Angara on Movies
Saying Filipinos need “psychological and cultural entertainment” in times of despair, Sen. Edgardo Angara asked the film industry to come up with “artistic and creative” projects. Rising to Angara’s challenge, the film industry has tapped Jocjoc Bolante for a series of acting workshops.

Upright Cabinet Members
Former senator and Marcos trade minister Vicente Paterno said the only “upright” Cabinet members were Social Welfare Secretary Esperanza Cabral and Defense Secretary Gilbert Teodoro. Cabral said the observation was “flattering.” Teodoro said it was “inspiring.” Justice Secretary Raul Gonzales said it was “seditious.”

“Euro Generals”
After closing its investigation on the case of the “euro generals,” the Philippine National Police sent the case to the Office of the Ombudsman – the government agency that conducts “probes to nowhere.”

Who’s Your Daddy?
Nasty rumors say an actor-senator is the real father of young actress Jennylyn Mercado’s baby. It’s difficult to identify the father though because the Senate has 23 actors.

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The price of apathy towards public affairs is to be ruled by evil men.
–Plato

CONTINGENCY FUND

null PNP’s “Contingency Fund” Mess
Former PNP comptroller Eliseo dela Paz (who attended the 77th Interpol Assembly in St. Petersburg) has been cleared by Russian custom officials after he and his wife were questioned for two hours in Moscow for carrying 105,000 thousand euros or 6.9 million pesos worth of undeclared cash. De La Paz was allowed to leave despite the fact that he was able to answer only one of two questions poised by Russian officials: One, “Why are you carrying that huge amount of money? And two, “What the f*ck is your wife doing at the Interpol conference?”

PNP’s “Contingency Fund” Mess II null
Former PNP comptroller Eliseo de la Paz who was attending an Interpol conference in Moscow was questioned along with his wife, by Russian customs officials for carrying 105,000 thousand euros 6.9 million pesos worth of undeclared cash. De La Paz said a portion of the money was from a friend who asked him to buy watches. PNP spokesman Chief Supt. Nicanor Bartolome claimed it was “travel contingency fund” that came from the PNP. President Arroyo announced the money came from the World Bank.

PNP’s “Contingency Fund” Mess III
According to reports, former PNP comptroller Eliseo de la Paz, who was questioned for two hours in Russia for carrying 105,000 thousand euros or 6.9 million pesos worth of undeclared cash, will reportedly return to Manila on Tuesday, October 21. But De La Paz was quick to deny the report saying it was impossible for him to return on Tuesday… because his wife is not done shopping yet.

Top 7 Movies Starring Former PNP Comptroller Eliseo de la Paz and his Wife

7: You Don’t Mess with the Russian

6: Invasion of the Money Snatchers

5: The Lord of Laundering: The Two Robbers

4: Harry Potter and Wallet on Fire

3: The Year of Shopping Dangerously

2: Mamma Millions!

And the No. 1 movie starring former PNP comptroller Eliseo de la Paz and his wife…

1: BELAT: Cultural Learnings of Russia for Make Benefit Notorious Police Officers of Pilipina

null In Other News…
Loren and Angara
Asked by showbiz reporters if there’s truth to persistent rumors linking her to Sen. Edgardo Angara, Sen Loren Legarda replied, “Diyos ko naman! Galing na nga ako sa matanda. Pupunta pa ba ako sa mas matanda?” When Senator Angara heard this, he said, “Hoy! Mas bata naman ako nang makuha kita ‘no!”

Davao Millionaire
The lone winner in last week’s super lotto draw has reportedly claimed the jackpot prize. That makes him the Filipino with the biggest amount of money in his hands right now. Coming in at second is former PNP comptroller Eliseo De La Paz.

Joey-Willie Bury Hatchet null
Fierce rivals Willie Revillame and Joey De Leon, whose fiery and nasty exchange made headlines recently have reportedly “kissed and made up” during an event held at Tim Yap’s Embassy Super Club. Skeptics however have doubted the sincerity of the two hosts… because if it happened at Embassy, there’s a huge chance they were just drugged.

Elsewhere…
Check out this hilarious video. Garden wedding, anyone?

Are you familiar with Patani, the overexposed Survivor Philippines castaway/outcast? Check out her unedited Friendster profile.

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Money: There’s nothing in the world so demoralizing as money.
– Sophocles

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