DEPARTURES


DID YOU HEAR the latest news on our official flag carrier, the Philippine Airlines? Their pilots have decided to fly… minus the planes.

More than a dozen PAL pilots have resigned for higher-paying jobs in foreign airlines. The PAL management is furious saying the pilots should have told them of their decision much earlier. Had PAL been informed six months ahead of the resignations, it would have been much easier for the airline to pirate pilots from Cebu Pacific.

According to the Philippine Daily Inquirer, Malacañang invited Cebu Pacific president and CEO Lance Gokongwei to a meeting Monday to “explore ways his airline could cover flights for PAL.” The Cebu Pacific boss attended the meeting but there was a delay of 1 hour in his arrival.

Bello’s Speech
Akbayan party-list Rep. Walden Bello on Monday delivered a scathing privilege speech against former president and now, Pampanga Rep. Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo. But minutes before Bello spoke, Arroyo hurriedly left the session hall; tried to flee to Hong Kong but failed because of canceled PAL flights.


Cory’s Death Anniversary
It was a busy weekend for the Aquino family as they remembered the first death anniversary of former President Corazon Aquino. President Noynoy Aquino unveiled a commemorative marker in Greenhills. Pinky Aquino-Abellada led a tree-planting activity on Times Street. And Kris Aquino discussed her troubled marriage on TV.

Kris and Junjun
In taped television interviews, Kris Aquino reveals Makati Mayor Jejomar Erwin “Junjun” Binay possesses the qualities she admires in a man – the very same qualities she previously told the whole world she admired in Alvin Patrimonio, Joey Marquez, and James Yap.

In TV interviews over the weekend, Kris Aquino said, “Next year, ‘pag alam kong okay na okay na ako and Junjun were to say, ‘Kris, gusto mo bang mag-dinner?’ I’d say ‘yes.’ Why? Dahil alam kong hindi niya ako lolokohin.” – to which Dr. Elenita Binay said, “Sus! Ganyang-ganyan din ang sinabi ko noon about Jojo.”

Most Trusted
A recent Pulse Asia survey showed DSWD Sec. Corazon “Dinky” Soliman was the most trusted appointed national official. Of the 1,200 people surveyed, 864 (72 percent) trusted Soliman; the rest were avid readers of Conrado De Quiros.

Alvarez on Corruption
Customs Commissioner Lito Alvarez vowed to cut graft & corruption in the bureau by 80 percent in three years. Of course, that figure can be changed to 85, 90, or higher depending on what his partners will jot down in the Customs scorecard.

Archeological Breakthrough
A team of archeologists led by Dr. Armand Mijares of the University of the Philippines has confirmed the discovery of a 67,000-year-old human fossil in Callao Cave in Cagayan province. The remains were identified as that of a childhood friend of Sen. Juan Ponce Enrile.
———————-
“A long dispute means both parties are wrong.”
~Voltaire

Survey Says
Dapat bang patalsikin bilang miyembro ng Kamara si Ilocos Sur Rep. Ronald Singson?
– Oo, para maisalba ang imahe ng Kongreso 78.5%
– Hindi. Premature pa. Kung ma-co-convict siguro. 15.8%
– Sino siya? Anong isyu? 5.7%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

Personal
Ohio really hates the guy. And so do I. Go Lakers!

NOTES ON A SONA

sona
GMA’s 9th State of the Nation Address
The good news is… President Arroyo stated in her State of the Nation Address that her term would end in June 2010. The bad news is… that speech was first drafted last December 30, Rizal Day.

According to the Philippine Daily Inquirer, the president’s State of the Nation Address lasted 57 minutes & 33 seconds. That’s 50 minutes of applause, 7 minutes of critic-lashing, and 33 seconds of accomplishments.

Reports say the president’s State of the Nation Address was interrupted 126 times by applause… and at least three times when she checked on her chest for any leaks.

sona3
At one point during her address, President Arroyo acknowledged the presence of Tarnati Dannawi, a Badjao who was taught modern fish farming; he earned 180,000 pesos in one year. She then acknowledged the presence of Lito Lapid, a Kapampangan, who was taught lawmaking; he earned earned 1 billion pesos in five years.

In an apparent dig at Sen. Mar Roxas, the president said, “If you really want something done… don’t pussyfoot… don’t pander.” GMA’s allies in the gallery applauded… except for senators Lito Lapid and Bong Revilla who had to look up the words “pussyfoot” and “pander” in the dictionary.

Reacting to GMA’s tirades, Sen. Mar Roxas said “Hindi ko pinapansin ang mga ganyang banat. Ang pinapansin ko lang ay ang hinaing ng ating mga kababayan” to which Sen. Manny Villar said, “Talaga? Sige nga… mamigay ka ng anim na bahay.”

Taking swipe at former president Joseph Estrada whom she granted executive clemency, Mrs. Arroyo said, “Those who live in glass houses should cast no stones. Those who should be in jail should not threaten it, especially if they have been there.” An irate Estrada told the press, “Eh tanga pala siya eh. Semento kaya ang bahay ko!”

sonafries
SONA Fashion
Just when we thought KFC’s recent offering was the biggest… came President Arroyo’s SONA attire. Extra Large Bucket of Fries, anyone?

sona_fashion2 Sen. Jamby Madrigal described her new gown as a “modified Maria Clara.” Just like her.

Loren_back Presidential wannabe Loren Legarda recycled her outfit – a year-old fuchsia gown by designer Paul Cabral that bared her back- or as opposition stalwarts Ernie Maceda and John Osmeña would call it – backless.

Light Bites
Q: What did Mike Arroyo say when he saw Loren Legarda during GMA’s SONA?
A: Back Off!

Philippines Aquino In Other News…
Former president Cory Aquino’s cancer has reportedly spread. The cancer is spreading so rapidly… even Noynoy Aquino has lost all his hair.

Mass for Cory
Manila City Hall continues its series of healing mass for former President Corazon Aquino. But starting today, former Supreme Court justice Adolf Azcuna will not be invited.
__________
“Promises are like babies: easy to make, hard to deliver.”
~Author Unknown

Elsewhere
Manila Standard Today columnist Antonio Abaya cries censorship.

What’s more odd than a former Immigration official who eats death threats for breakfast? An ex-president who eats human flesh for dinner! Check this out.

Survey Says…
Who is the most credible among these veteran radio commentators:
Mike Enriquez: 35%
Joe Taruc: 26%
Ted Failon: 24%
Arnold Clavio: 7%
Rey Langit: 5%
Jake Maderazo: 3%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

THE VILLAR SHOW

villar
Villar & Wowowee
In case you were tuned in to Wowowee last Saturday, you would have caught the guesting of presidential aspirant Manny Villar. The program began as a game show at 11:45. By 2:30PM, it has become Damayan minus Rosa Rosal.

Appearing on the noontime perya that was Wowowee, presidential aspirant Manny Villar gave away six houses and lots to returning OFWs who joined the game show. Villar, who was present at the studio, was almost in tears… mainly because he received text messages from Eat Bulaga contestants asking for the same.

Six houses and lots were given away by Manny Villar to Wowowee contestants last Saturday. When Mar Roxas saw this, he requested for another Wowowee guesting so he could give away… Korina Sanchez.

Manny Villar gave away six houses and lots to returning OFWs who joined the noontime game show Wowowee. When presidential wannabe Eddie Villanueva saw this, he said, “Wala ‘yan! Kapag ako ang nag-guest sa Wowowee… papakainin ko ang limang milyon!”

camella Six houses and lots were given away by Manny Villar to Wowowee contestants last Saturday. When ex-president Joseph Estrada saw this, he requested for a Wowowee guesting to give away six of his extra mistresses.

Earlier this year, Mar Roxas gave away a pedicab (padyak) to a Wowowee contestant. Last Saturday, Manny Villar gave away six houses and lots to six more contestants. Unfazed by the competition, presidential aspirant Father Ed Panlilio is guesting on Eat Bulaga… to give away his virginity.

Six houses and lots were given away by presidential hopeful Manny Villar on Wowowee. Breaking News: The Department of Foreign Affairs has just confirmed that thousands of OFWs have quit their job overseas to join Wowowee instead.

Willie Revillame said there was no politics involved in Villar’s decision to give away six houses and lots to six Wowowee contestants. Ulol!

Noli and the Presidency
Vice President Noli De Castro denied persistent rumors that he would run as vice president of Sen. Manuel Villar. But De Castro explained he might change his decision if Villar would give him six houses and lots.

gibo Teodoro to Lakas
Another presidentiable, Defense Sec. Gilbert Teodoro has officially and formally joined the administration party. The move has formally and officially sealed… his defeat.

inq False Alarm
Do you remember the Inquirer’s banner headline last week about a “kidnapped, drugged, and raped” teenage daughter of a narcotics agent? That story turned out to be false. Now, do you remember former Supreme Court justice Adolf Azcuna’s announcement last Friday during a mass at the Manila City Hall that Cory Aquino has died? Here’s the latest: Azcuna has been offered a job at the Philippine Daily Inquirer!

Light Bites
Q: What’s the difference between the Inquirer and Azcuna?
A: Azcuna apologized.

China Asia Eclipse
Solar Eclipse
Last Wednesday, a total solar eclipse plunged China into darkness for like seven minutes… or as the Inquirer’s banner headline said, “Seven hours.”

Hayden Kho
The Philippine Medical Association (PMA) has decided to punish cosmetic surgery intern Hayden Kho over his role in his sex video scandal. As a punishment, he will be forced to fix the president’s leaking boobs – without pay.

gmasona2 State of the Nation Address
President Arroyo will deliver her 9th State of the Nation Address on Monday, July 27. That will be Mrs. Arroyo’s last SONA… the very reason why the Iglesia ni Cristo is having a huge feast on Monday.
________
“It’s true sensationalism sells, but that’s as far as that goes.”
~ Felipe Duran

Elsewhere…
Check out The Professional Heckler’s SONA-related post last year.

Here’s the list of the Best and Worst Food for Your Libido.

Da Who?
An EP of a show received an order from an executive to include in their line up of stories the “ballroom dancing session” some network executives spent with a (new) celebrity. Got no problem with that. But with an additional instruction to “enumerate through Voice Over” the names of the executives as they showcase their Terpsichore-on-Valium skills?! Now, that’s just cheap!

Personal
In case you’re interested, the Professional Heckler is on Twitter.  Click here.

Have a productive week ahead!

THE RUNNING PRIEST

among Among Ed
Pampanga governor, Father Ed Panlilio has declared his intention to seek the presidency in 2010. If elected, he vows to improve the government’s tax collection… by opening more quarry sites in different parts of the country.

Among Ed II
Last Saturday, Father Ed Panlilio said he was willing to give up his priesthood to be able to run in the 2010 presidential election. Today, Mar Roxas said he’s willing to give up his manhood for the same purpose.

Mar Roxas, Again
Have you seen the sequel to Mar Roxas’ premature political ad “Padyak?” The new one is called “Ramdam.” In the ad, the presidential wannabe told a group of impoverished folks, “Ramdam ko kayo. Huwag kayong matakot. Lalaban tayo.” It wasn’t the first time he said that though. Those were the exact words he told his sperm cells the first time he slept with Korina.

Cory Aquino
To focus on her ailing mother – former President Corazon Aquino, Kris Aquino said she’ll stop making movies for a while. Don’t you just admire Tita Cory? Even in pain, she’s still doing us a huge favor.

myrna First Ms U Delegate
Myrna Sese Panlilio-Borromeo, the first Binibining Pilipinas to the Miss Universe pageant [She failed to make it to the next round.] has died from cardiac arrest. During her funeral, a Bb. Pilipinas Charities representative gave a short but somber three-word eulogy: “Thank you girl.”

LIFE-US-BRITAIN-MAN-OLDEST World’s Oldest Man
Henry Allingham, the world’s oldest man died at the age of 113 in London. Allingham had five grandchildren and 12 great-grandchildren, 14 great-great grandchildren and one great-great-great grandchild. The cause of death: extreme exhaustion after reading children’s stories.
______
“It is Hell, of course, that makes priests powerful, not Heaven, for after thousands of years of so-called civilization fear remains the one common denominator of mankind.”
~Henry Louis Mencken

Elsewhere…
The Philippine Daily Inquirer is operating a radio station now. Read here.

Is Makati City Mayor Jejomar Binay really incorruptible? A COA report says otherwise.

Survey Says…
Who’s gonna win this year’s UAAP cage wars?
Cheering na lang: 33%
La Salle: 26%
Ateneo: 26%
UST: 5%
FEU: 5%
UE: 3%
Adamson: 1%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

HEALING MASS

healing_mass Prayers from the Palace
For the speedy recover of former president Corazon Aquino, Malacañang sponsored a healing mass. Hours later, President Arroyo sponsored another… to heal her mass.

Relatives of former President Aquino attended the healing mass in Malacañang. After the mass, Lupita Aquino-Kashiwahara and the president talked about her upcoming SONA. Tessie Aquino-Oreta and the president talked about education. And Tingting Cojuangco & the president talked about cosmetic surgery.

josh Cory Aquino
Reports say ailing former president Corazon Aquino is now taking small portions of food. She would have actually eaten more than that… if her “bantay,” Joshua Aquino (Salvador) would just stop eating less.

SWS Survey
A Social Weather Stations survey showed that the trust rating of the cancer-stricken Corazon Aquino rose to 60 percent. Cong. Mikey Arroyo does not expect her mom to achieve such a high trust rating mainly because her tumors were found to be benign.

Poll Automation
Something historic happened this week. The P7.2B poll automation deal between the Commission on Elections and Smartmatic-TIM Corp. was signed. Even more historic, the president has signed an endorsement deal with Belo Medical Clinic.

Villanueva on Polls
Jesus Is Lord leader Bro. Eddie Villanueva stressed that only God can stop him from seeking the presidency in 2010. Villanueva is very confident that unlike in 2004, God will not switch alliances in 2010.

Villanueva on Polls II
Born Again preacher Bro. Eddie Villanueva revealed that his political party, the Bangon Pilipinas Movement has many possible senatorial candidates in 2010. To be exact… five million.

Villanueva on Polls III
Bro. Eddie Villanueva stressed that only God can stop him from seeking the presidency in 2010… to which God replied, “Whateverrr!”

Light Bites
Noon: Kapag nanalo sa malaking bidding, tuwang-tuwa… nagti-treat
Ngayon: Kapag nanalo sa malaking bidding, umaayaw… nagri-retreat

Noon: Kapag umuwi sa probinsya ang pangulo – nagbabakasyon, nagpapahinga
Ngayon: Kapag umuwi sa probinsya ang pangulo – nakikiramdam, nangangampanya

Noon: Kapag naospital ang presidente; dedicated sa trabaho: Good job!
Ngayon: Kapag naospital ang presidente; dedicated sa asawa: Boob job!
________
“Before healing others, heal yourself.”
~Anonymous

Survey Says…
Your take on the president’s health, particularly her reported boob job:
:Leave her alone! 73%
:It’s a public concern: 27%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

Enjoy your weekend!

SIMPLY AMAZING

pac-hat1
Pacquiao Dominates Hatton
Filipino icon Manny Pacquiao knocked out Briton champ Ricky Hatton in Round 2 of their multi-million dollar slugfest at the MGM Grand Arena in Las Vegas, Nevada. The fight was so lopsided Hatton spent more time on the floor than on his feet.

Manny Pacquiao scored a technical knock out against British boxer Ricky Hatton in just 359 seconds. That was the fastest thing Pacquiao has done since leaving and re-signing with Solar Sports.

Manny Pacquiao posted his 49th career win when he finished off Ricky Hatton in just 359 seconds. Yup, it was that fast. The only thing faster was Korina’s reply to Mar Roxas’ question “Do you want to be my first lady?” She answered, “Yes!” in two seconds.

Pacquiao Hatton Boxing Manny Pacquiao decked Ricky Hatton in just 359 seconds. The only thing faster was Daniel Smith’s departure when the Court of Appeals acquitted him of rape.

Manny Pacquiao finished off Ricky Hatton in just 359 seconds. Yup, it was that fast. The only thing faster was Manny Villar’s denial that he sought two budget allocations for the same C5 road project.

Manny Pacquiao ended his bout with Ricky Hatton in just 359 seconds. Yes, it was that fast. The only thing faster was Ping Lacson’s decision on the ethics complaint against Manny Villar.

pac-hat3
Manny Pacquiao demolished Ricky Hatton in just 359 seconds. Yup, it was that fast. The only thing faster was how bad karma struck the now cancer-stricken Legacy founder Celso De Los Angeles.

Manny Pacquiao ended his bout with Ricky Hatton in just 359 seconds. Yup, it was that fast. The only thing faster was Ted Failon’s instruction to his maids to clean up their house when his wife allegedly killed herself.

Manny Pacquiao felled Ricky Hatton in just 359 seconds. Yup, it was that fast. The only thing faster was ABS-CBN’s acquittal of Ted Failon on his wife’s mysterious death.

pac-hatoom Did you catch Sir Tom Jones when he sang Britain’s national anthem “God Save the Queen?” Before the first round could even finish, he was heard singing “God Save Hatton.”

pac-hat2
Reports say Metro Manila was almost crime free during the Pacquiao-Hatton bout. The only unlawful acts committed were even seen on TV – the premature electioneering of Villar, Roxas, Lacson, Binay, Legarda, and if you noticed during the bout’s telecast: Teves, Teodoro, and Genuino.

pac-hatdionisa Pacquiao’s mother, Aling Dionisia was in Las Vegas, Nevada during her son’s fight. But the religious mom refused to watch the bout at ringside… because the MGM Grand Arena was charging extra for the Sto. Niño.

pac-hat6_tv The Pacquiao-Hatton fight was officially over before 12 noon. But GMA 7’s telecast ended at 3pm… fueling speculations that the Kapuso network was in a different time zone.

Computer statistics showed that Manny Pacquiao landed 73 of 127 punches, while Hatton made 18 of 78. GMA 7 fared better because it was able to air 150 of the 152 scheduled 30-second TV ads.

pacquiao_clinton Former US President Bill Clinton who visited Pacquiao in the latter’s hotel suite two days before the fight was equally stunned by Pacquiao’s superb punch that felled Hatton. It was the most powerful punch Clinton has seen in years… next only to Hilary’s.

Pacquiao Hatton Boxing
Top 5 Reasons Why Manny Pacquiao Ended the Fight So Quickly

No. 5: He caught Annabelle Rama and GMA executive Wilma Galvante trading dagger looks at ringside. He wanted to prevent a catfight.

No. 4: The next best thing to “rumble” is to gamble. Off to the casino baby!

No 3: ABS-CBN lawyers and Dyan Castillejo were waiting in his locker room. They have a more lucrative offer.

No. 2: So that dozens of Filipino solons in Vegas could go home early and do their freakin’ job!

And the No.1 reason why Manny Pacquiao ended the fight quickly…

He’s fast tracking his retirement. Eleksyon naaaaaaaa!

Postscript
Pacquiao’s demolition of Hatton prompted President GMA on Sunday to declare a “national day of celebration” to honor the feat. Meanwhile, the other GMA, GMA Network that is, declared Sunday a “national day of tv commercials.”

A Royal Call
Did you know that… shortly after Manny Pacquiao’s demolition of England’s Ricky Hatton, Queen Elizabeth was on the phone talking to the People’s Champ? Initially, she couldn’t say a word. And he barely understood her. But people around Queen Elizabeth described her as very happy. Seconds later, she started crying, and that broke Pacquiao’s heart. He terribly missed his youngest daughter – Queen Elizabeth.

And pirated videos of the Pacquiao-Hatton fight have started to sprout in Quiapo. But we warn you: it is a bit more expensive mainly because the total running time is five hours – including commercials!

Check out this YouTube clip featuring the Visayan Hatton.

Light Bites

Q: What is black and blue, and white all over?
A: A British boxer down on the canvas

Q: What is blue, plastic, has three wheels and induces vomiting?
A: A senator on a pedicab

Q: What is blue, plastic, and gets wet on high temperature
A: A senator crying on a noontime show

Q: What do you get when you cross a bad politician and a really bad lawyer?
A: Two congressmen and a low-key Atenean

Q: What do you get when you cross an intoxicated politician and a physician for the third time?
A: A gay son

Q: What do you get when you cross a soldier and a badminton enthusiast for the second time?
A: A lesbian

Q: What do you get when you cross a French-speaking housewife and a brilliant politician for the fifth time?
A: A tactless blabbermouth

Q: What do you get when you cross an over-ambitious beauty queen and a one-time murder suspect?
A: Martial Law.

_________
“Boxing is a sport at its most brutal, most primitive, and most natural. Two men defending their honor and courage, in a ring surrounded by observers, whose love for the sport is essentially spiritual. Boxing is the last refuge of the modern day warrior.”
~ THOMAS DONELSON, Viewing Boxing from Ringside

DEVOTION

nazarene_crowd
Postscript to a Procession
Now here’s something funny. According to reports, it took almost an hour for the cart carrying the statue of the Black Nazarene to finally enter the gates of Quiapo Church because the person holding the key couldn’t be found. You know what the crowd did? They asked some members of the Brodett, Tecson, and Joseph families (who were reportedly there) to push the gates open. The “pushers’ successfully did.

Unconfirmed reports say Johnny “Midnight” (Joseph) was spotted outside Quiapo Church during the Black Nazarene procession. Asked about his presence at the premises, he replied, “I’m a social believer but I’m not a devotee. It’s no big deal.”

And finally, another unconfirmed report says DOJ prosecutors who dismissed the case against the “Alabang Boys” attended a special mass at the Quiapo Church last Friday. In fact, they even took part in the mass! During the offertory, they washed their hands.

Postscript to a Procession II
The Black Nazarene procession took several hours to finish because of the unusual traffic jam in Manila… which was described as “nothing” by commuters who regularly pass by EDSA.


Historic Meeting
Something historic happened in Washington DC last Thursday. Five living presidents had lunch together at the White House: George Herbert Walker Bush, George W. Bush, Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton and Barack Obama. Rumors say former president Cory Aquino actually planned to host a similar event for living Philippine presidents… but decided to cancel it at the last minute when both Fidel Ramos and Miriam Defensor-Santiago confirmed their attendance.

Historic Meeting II
Something historic happened in Washington DC last Thursday when five living presidents had lunch together at the White House: George Herbert Walker Bush, George W. Bush, Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton and Barack Obama. Rumors say deposed president Joseph Estrada is planning to host a similar event for four living Philippine presidents. But Erap, who never had a liking for history since grade school, is reportedly having a difficult time preparing the invites… because he couldn’t identify the four.

Loren’s Ex
Former Batangas governor Antonio Leviste, the estranged husband of senator Loren Legarda said, “I have affected Loren so much, if she was president, she would care for the interest and welfare of the Muslims.” Therefore I conclude, Loren Legarda is the best candidate… for ARMM governor.

Loren’s Ex II
Former Batangas governor Antonio Leviste said he was tempted to go back to politics because he was worried about Batangas and wanted “to clean the province of drug use” – to which a concerned Batangas resident said, “I may be a drug addict but I am not a murderer.”

Postscript to a Break Up belo
Did you catch Dr. Hayden Kho’s interview on Startalk last week? He apologized to his “amore,” his baby, his beloved Vicks and sought her forgiveness for his infidelity. He was blaming his “youth” for the split up and vowed to make amends. Yes, he loved Vicki so much he even attempted to end his life just to prove his undying love for her. Hayden’s interview was so melodramatic it almost melted Dr. Vicky Belo’s… face.

Survey Says
Who would you rather believe?
A. PDEA and Major Marcelino: 83%
B. DOJ Prosecutors: 1%
C. None: 15%
D. Others: 1%

Find time to answer our new survey please.

SORRY!

Late!
It felt like forever. Finally, after six long days I was able to update this blog. I would like to apologize for the late update. I was really busy the past few days. Again… I am very sorry. I know some people would be disappointed with the delayed apology. But come on guys. Mine took only six days, Cory waited for seven years!

Speaking of Cory and her apology to deposed president Joseph Estrada last week, her son, Sen. Noynoy Aquino said it was just a joke. In fact, it was the second funniest joke Cory has ever delivered – the first one being Kris.

Former president Cory Aquino has drawn flak from lawmakers and civil society groups for saying sorry to deposed president Joseph Estrada. Sen. Mar Roxas believed though Cory would have avoided the criticisms had she said, “Putang-ina mo Erap, pinapatawad na kita.”

SWS Survey
A pre-Christmas survey conducted by the Social Weather Stations showed that the four most anticipated food for ordinary Filipinos in the Yuletide feast were “lechon,” salad, spaghetti and ham. Among Filipino lawmakers though, the top answer was pork.


Communists@40
The Communist Party of the Philippines, who’s been trying to overthrow the government since 1968, marked its 40th anniversary on Friday, December 26. Wow! They’re like celebrating 40 consecutive years of failure! Amazing!

On its 40th anniversary last Friday, the Communist Party of the Philippines unveiled its 5-year insurgency plan. For 2009: Torch at least 20 Globe cell sites in the provinces. And for 2010: Elect five more party-list representatives to Congress.

On its 40th anniversary last Friday, the Communist Party of the Philippines unveiled its 5-year insurgency plan. Nope, contrary to rumors, the plan does not include getting a new party leader who’d be willing to face the enemy right here in the Philippines.

joma Joma’s Facebook
CPP-NPA founding chair Jose Maria Sison has opened an account in the social networking site Facebook. His Facebook status? “Joma is having a great time in Europe.”

This just in: Rumors say New People’s Army spokesperson Gregorio “Ka Roger” Rosal has also created a Facebook account. His status? “Ka Roger is kinda inggit at Ka Joma but fully understands the situation.”

DOH vs. Firecrackers belo
The Department of Health will use ‘scare’ ads to discourage the use of firecrackers during the New Year’s Eve revelry. One of the print ads will show a close-up of Vicki Belo’s face.

_________
Apologizing – a very desperate habit – one that is rarely cured. Apology is only egotism wrong side out.
~Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr., The Professor at the Breakfast-Table

PIGS

null Signature Campaign for Erap

Character actor Rez Cortez, one of the initiators of the ERAP 2010 for President Movement vows to gather one million signatures by April 19 to persuade the former president to run for president in 2010. Apparently, Cortez is not aware that Erap’s campaign started the day he was pardoned.

null Signature Campaign for Erap II

Character actor Rez Cortez launched a signature campaign to persuade former president Joseph Estrada to run for president in 2010. Erap is exercising extra caution though because the last time Cortez led a similar campaign, his presidential candidate ended up dead.

null Bishops and Land Reform

Twenty-nine Catholic bishops, including six archbishops want 1.3 million hectares of haciendas distributed to farmers. Hinay-hinay lang po… buhay pa si Tita Cory.

Bishops and Land Reform II

Six archbishops and 23 bishops want 1.3 million hectares of haciendas distributed to farmers. When Hacienda Luisita owner and former president Corazon Cojuangco Aquino heard the news, the more she wished she’d live longer.

Swine Program Scam?

The Commission on Audit reported that billions of pesos allotted for the government’s swine program were missing. Babuyan na ‘to!

Nograles and Corruption null

House Speaker Prospero Nograles is pushing for the passage of anti-corruption bills saying corruption is a “deadly virus.” Virus? Yes. But deadly? May narinig na ba kayong congressman na namatay dahil sa pork barrel?

 Gabby, GMA, and ABS-CBN

Comebacking actor Gabby Concepcion is under fire for signing a movie contract with GMA Films several weeks back and accepting the 1.5 million-peso downpayment. When he returned home though, he opted to become an exclusive ABS-CBN tv and movie talent.  GMA Films is asking Concepcion to at least honor his movie commitment – a plea that would likely fall on deaf ears. How do you expect him to honor a film project when he has failed to honor his commitment to at least three women he married?  

SURPRISE!

GMA and the Olympics null

President Arroyo will attend the opening of the 29th Summer Olympics in Beijing this year. Rumors say there has just been an ex-deal between Mrs. Arroyo and the Chinese government: China gives her reserved seats in the stadium; RP gives China oil reserves at the Spratlys. Fair enough?

null GMA and the Olympics II null

President Arroyo will attend the opening of the 29th Summer Olympics in Beijing this year. Rumors say she’ll then meet with Chinese President Hu Jintao to talk about the possibility of co-hosting the 2018 Asian Games – at the Spratly Islands.

null “Surprise Witness”

The Philippine Daily Inquirer’s top story Sunday claimed that former Phil. National Oil Company president Eduardo Mañalac is the new “surprise witness” who will testify before the Senate on the NBN ZTE anomaly. However, a stunned Mañalac strongly denied the report of the Inquirer. After reading the paper, Mañalac thus became a “surprised witness.”

“Surprise Witness” II

The Philippine Daily Inquirer‘s top story Sunday claimed that former Phil. National Oil Company president Eduardo Mañalac is the new “surprise witness” who will testify before the Senate on the NBN ZTE scandal. However, the report has been categorically denied by Mañalac himself, the Senate through Sen. Panfilo Lacson, and NBN ZTE whistleblower Joey De Venecia. Mañalac may have been surprised by the Inquirer report – but for regular readers of the paper? Wala ‘yon! Sanay na kami sa Inquirer!

“Surprise Witness” III

An infuriated Eduardo Mañalac has written the Philippine Daily Inquirer and categorically denied its banner story Sunday claiming he was the Senate’s next “surprise” star witness on the NBN ZTE deal. Mañalac said, “Worse than hearsay, this article is a complete falsehood,” and hinted that he might take legal action against the Inquirer. This “star witness” is mad but right now, another star must be smiling and glad – The Philippine Star!

Cory’s Plea

Former President Corazon Aquino appealed to the public to pray for the Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines to reconsider its original stand not to call for the resignation of President Arroyo. Let’s see which is more powerful: Cory or the PCSO – Pera o Prayer?

Lozada’s Wish

The other day, ZTE NBN deal witness Rodolfo “Jun” Lozada said “I’m getting my life back and I want to live a normal life.” And in case you didn’t notice, he has started living his so-called “normal life” by touring the whole archipelago – absolutely for free. Sweet!

JDV and Lakas

According to Cong. Jose De Venecia’s lawyer Raul Lambino, JDV will not leave Lakas-CMD because he will be the “konsensya” of Lakas. Hmmm, tell me: a party without conscience and a party with De Venecia as its conscience… what’s the difference?

null Morato and Lozada

PCSO director Manoling Morato lambasted ZTE NBN witness Jun Lozada saying he is as fake as his name. Sought for his reaction on Morato’s rant, Lozada allegedly replied, “No comment po ako d’yan kasi sabi po ng tatay ko… hindi dapat pinapatulan ang mga babae.”

Bad Education

Check out the latest YouTube sensation: 2008 Bb. Pilipinas-World Janina San Miguel.

Have a great week ahead!

%d bloggers like this: