ITLOG KA BA?


“We respect the Supreme Court, we survived even when they took everything from us, including our Dad’s life- & we will survive even this.”
~TV host Kris Aquino reacting to the Supreme Court’s recent ruling ordering the distribution of Hacienda Luisita land to the farmers

Heckler: Si Mara ka ba ng ‘Mara Clara?’
Kris Aquino: Bakit?
Heckler: Eh kasi, api-apihan ang drama mo.

“My order to the Bureau of Immigration is to respect the watch list order. We have the right to exhaust remedies against the TRO.”
~Justice Sec. Leila De Lima

Heckler: Kapatid ka ba ng Presidente?
Secretary De Lima: Bakit?
Heckler: Eh kasi, Ballsy ka.

“We will be monitoring her, and hopefully she will be able to regain her appetite until we are confident enough in saying that we can remove the IV fluid already.”
~ Dr. Juliet Gopez-Cervantes, CGMA’s attending physician

Heckler: Si Lolong ka ba?
CGMA: Bakit?
Heckler: Eh kasi, ayaw mo raw kumain.

“I think the decision of Pasay RTC will allow Atty. Topacio to save his family jewels.”
~Atty. Edwin Lacierda

Heckler: Prostitute ka ba?
Atty. Edwin Lacierda: Bakit?
Heckler: Eh kasi kahit sino pinapatulan mo.

“Ba’t ba concerned na concerned si Secretary Lacierda sa aking itlog? Sabagay okay naman ‘yon. Siyempre kung ang isang tao na lalake ay concerned sa’yong itlog, s’yempre matutuwa ka naman d’on. Nagke-care.”
~ Atty. Ferdie Topacio

Heckler: Itlog ka ba?
Atty. Ferdie Topacio: Bakit?
Heckler: Ang sarap mong pitikin eh!

“My arrest triggered Edsa 3, whose number was more than those of Edsa 1 and 2 combined.”
~Former President Joseph Estrada

Heckler: Magician ka ba?
Erap: Bakit?
Heckler: Eh kasi, ang hilig mo sa illusion.

“One cannot think of the 1986 EDSA Revolution without thinking of Corazon Aquino.”
~Bohol Rep. Rene Relampagos defending his proposed ‘Cory Aquino Avenue’

Heckler: Tambay ka ba?
Cong. Relampagos: Bakit?
Heckler: Eh kasi, parang wala kang ibang magawa.

“Tapos po nun sigaw ako nang sigaw; ‘tapos naisip ko baka wala na dun yung killer. Basta alam ko sigaw lang ako nang sigaw. Tapos… Shit nawala na ko, kasi nawala, ‘di ba dapat tatawagan ko si Gail?”
~Maria Ramona Belen “Mara” Bautista-Bülbüloğlu narrating her version of what happened the night her brother Ram Revilla was murdered

Heckler: NAIA ka ba?
Ramona: Bakit?
Heckler: Most hated ka eh.

“No matter what is written or what you hear, it’s my loyalty that is priceless.”
~Sharon Cuneta talking about her recent transfer to TV5

Heckler: Meralco ka ba?
Sharon: Bakit?
Heckler: Eh kasi, ang hilig mong mag-switch.

“When itweet nonsense take itcas itsis Last night did math simulations so makita ng coop paano namin ni assunta saluin buong utang bulok yun?”
~Cong. Jules Ledesma

Heckler: Ilog Pasig ka ba?
Jules: Bakit?
Heckler: Eh kasi, ang labo mo!
————————————————————————————
“Never miss a good opportunity to shut up.”
~Will Rogers

iGuess 1:
Popular Personality (PP) was detained somewhere in North America recently after causing a ruckus outside a bar. PP was reportedly drunk and was with his significant other when it all happened. Merry Christmas!

iGuess 2:
Popular College Hoopster (PCP) is one naughty boy. Probably inspired by videographer Hayden Kho Jr, PCP is keeping a video of himself doing it with a fling. The whole team had seen the sleazy video. “Proud pa siya sa ginawa niya,” one teammate said. Lagot ka kay Father!

Have a great week ahead!

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QUIZ: How Tweet It Is

YOU ARE what you tweet. Identify the newsmakers, political figures & government officials who tweeted these. Use of Google is discouraged. Be honest.  Note: These are their unedited tweets.


1: Walaaang Tulugan! Hindi taga-That’s, hindi taga-Siyete, inaabot ng hatinggabi sa harap ng TV! Who tweeted this:
“Is that Lirio Vital in the Master Showman? Wow! She didn’t seem to age!”
A: DSWD Sec. Dinky Soliman
B: Presidential spokesperson Edwin Lacierda
C: San Juan Rep. JV Ejercito
D: Deputy presidential spokesperson Abi Valte


2: TUI: Tweeting Under the Influence. Inaantok kaya? Probably. Baka naman lasing? Malamang. Kaya mga tweets niya’y sadyang nakakawindang! Who tweeted this:
“Breaking-in a motor is the single most critical task. Do it proper your motor is bulletproof -do it soso- nyeh soso_ do it bad-sorry nalang”
A: Cong. Jules Ledesma
B: John Lloyd Cruz
C: Exec. Sec. Paquito ‘Jojo’ Ochoa
D: Cong. Rudy Fariñas


3: The Fan. Bugtong: Dumating si Pacman, nabulabog ang kabahayan. Who tweeted this:
“Welcome back Pacman!! Magpapa-autograph ako mamaya sa session haha”
A: Cong. Teddy Casiño
B: Cong. Lani Mercado-Revilla
C: Cong. Sonny Angara
D: Cong. Lucy Torres-Gomez


4: Cheesy! ‘Di ko alam kung may lovelife; ‘di ko sure kung s’ya’y inlove. Pero mukha nga siyang inspired sa pagtupad ng kanyang job. Who tweeted these:
awaiting my love with unabated anticipation #sixwords”
i dream better lying beside you #sixwords”
A: Communications Secretary Ricky Carandang
B: LLDA Chairman Nereus Acosta
C: Former Akbayan Rep. Rissa Hontiveros
D: Government peace panel chairman Marvic Leonen


5: Old MacDonald had a farm Ee i ee i oh. Kung hindi mo siya kilala, ‘di mo iisiping kongresista dahil ang Twitter profile niya, profile ng magsasaka!
“I have 3 kids, 30 native chickens 10 goats and 25 piglets I try to grow organically.”
A: Cavite Rep. Jesus Crispin Remulla
B: Cebu Rep. Pablo John Garcia
C: Quezon Rep. Lorenzo ‘Erin’ Tañada III
D: Alagad Party-List RodanteMarcoleta


6: Angry Bird. Matapos akusahang namumulitika, nainis sa follower, hayun at bumuwelta. Who tweeted this:
“Hindi ako tatakbo sa 2013 kasi term limited ako. Fyi. At mula’s (sic) sapul hindi ako likas na maingay na tao.”
A: Sen. Chiz Escudero
B: Sen. Bongbong Marcos
C: Sen. Serge Osmeña
D: Sen. Kiko Pangilinan


7. Tipid Sulit. Ewan ko ba kung tinatamad o kung sila’y nagtitipid. Pero ‘yong palitan nila ng tweets, walang kakilig-kilig. Whose Twitter exchange was this:
Guy: “Hi! :)”
Girl: “got your tweet. goodnight. :)”
A: Cong. Roman Romulo and Councilor Shalani Soledad
B: KC Concepcion and Piolo Pascual
C: Sen. TG Guingona and wife Atty. Maria Victoria Garcia Guingona
D: Kris Aquino and Diether Ocampo


8: Walang Magawa. Pati ba naman Edsa, gustong palitan ang pangalan? Eh kung ‘yun kayang Kamara, gawin nating “Crocodile Farm” papayag kaya itong kontrobersyal na congressman? Who tweeted this:
“I’m good with calling it EDSA thanks. :)”
A: Cory’s grandson Miguel Abellada
B: Cory’s nephew Bam Aquino
C: Cory’s grandson Jonty Cruz
D: Kris Aquino


9: Ay, ambot! Ilang ulit ko mang basahin, hindi ko maunawaaan. Tweet ba ‘to ng artista, o tweet ng congressman? Ewan! Who tweeted this:
“Later patience batman issulent mode the meighbots… Jeeze atat masyado michi”
A: KC Montero
B: Jules Ledesma
C: Annabelle Rama
D: Baron Geisler


10. Confeeeermed? Nang pumilantik ang mga daliri at kumampay ang kamay, nagtaasan ang mga kilay, video ay naging viral. Who tweeted this:
“Atty. Midas Marquez was my gymmate before in Rockwell. He is better looking with short hair than the ponytail style.”
A: Tim Yap
B: Agot Isidro
C: Bubbles Paraiso
D: Butch Francisco
————————————————————————————-
“The qualities that make Twitter seem inane and half-baked are what make it so powerful”
~ Jonathan Zittrain, Harvard law professor and Internet expert

It’s less than a month before Christmas! Uh-oh.
Happy weekend!

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Check out the answers here.