UNDER FIRE

PERSONAL: A former officemate has been jobless for months. She’s getting desperate. In the hope of landing a job in government, she’s planning to change her surname to Abad.


Four Posts
Lawmakers have criticized the recent appointment of the members of the Abad family in key government posts. Ex-congressman and former DepEd chief Florencio “Butch” Abad is the new budget secretary. His daughter Julia is the chief of the Presidential Management Staff or PMS while his son, Luis has been appointed chief of staff of Finance Secretary Cesar Purisima. Abad’s wife, Henedina is the representative of the lone district of Batanes and is the incoming vice chairman of the House appropriations committee. President Aquino may be single but his administration has its own First Family.


Security for SONA
At least 3,000 anti-riot policemen will be deployed when President Noynoy Aquino delivers his first State of the Nation Address on July 26. You know what that means? Tiba-tiba na naman ang McDonald’s! Wohoo!

Pagcor & McDonald’s
Reports say a check amounting to 21.1 millions pesos was released last June 28 to reimburse former Pagcor chairman Efraim Genuino for food purchases at McDonald’s that were “donated” to the NCR Police Office. Again, that’s 21.1 million pesos worth of meals from McDo! And we still wonder why many cops are overweight?

Based on receipts issued by McDonald’s, former Pagcor chairman Efraim Genuino ordered food on eight separate days – January 15, March 11, April 5, April 14, May 4, May 12, May 13 and June 3. In another news dismissed by Genuino as irrelevant, supporters of his son Erwin who lost in the mayoral race in Makati City have reportedly launched a boycott against McDonald’s saying, “Sawang-sawa na kami sa McDo. Noong panahon ng kampanya wala nang pinakain sa ‘min kundi McDo!”

Light Bites
Q: Ano ang favorite commercial jingle ng mga pulis?
A: Pa-pa-ra-pa-pa… love ko tong!

Yusoph’s Son
A son of Comelec Commissioner Elias Yusoph who was kidnapped in Marawi City last month has been released. The Philippine National Police denied reports that ransom was paid to the kidnappers… although McDonald’s-Marawi confirmed that 2 million-peso worth of cheeseburgers were ordered by an unidentified group of armed men immediately after Yusoph’s release.

Congressman Mikey
Voting 4-2 with one abstention, the Commission on Elections en banc allowed Mikey Arroyo to sit as representative of “Ang Galing Pinoy” party-list, which claims to represent among others, security guards in Congress. To prove that he’s serious about his advocacy, Mikey reportedly vowed to work on graveyard shift.

The Commission on Elections has allowed former presidential son Mikey Arroyo to sit in Congress. Rumors say Mikey has already drafted his first bill: “An Act Penalizing the Violators of the ‘No ID, No Entry’ Policy.”

SC and Plagiarism
Supreme Court associate justice Mariano del Castillo who penned the decision on a case filed by a group of comfort women has been of accused of plagiarizing from the Yale Law Journal and the Western Reserve Journal of International Law and a portion of a book by the Cambridge University Press. Del Castillo has denied the allegation but vows to pay for the act if proven otherwise… by donating cash to the basketball program of his alma mater, the Ateneo De Manila University.

Supreme Court associate justice Mariano del Castillo who penned the decision on a case filed by a group of comfort women has been of accused of plagiarism, or as Manny V. Pangilinan would call it, “borrowing.”

Charice and Belo
News that Vicki Belo performed a cosmetic procedure on pop sensation Charice Pempengco became the 6th most discussed topic worldwide on Twitter.com Monday night. Belo felt an overwhelming sense of déjà vu. A few years back, a cosmetic surgery done on her own face was a hit on AwfulPlasticSurgery.Com.

A footage of Charice Pempengco getting Botox injection was featured on the Hollywood entertainment show The Daily 10. They showed Charice’ old and new face, and then they showed the face of her sponsor Vicki Belo, the living proof that the procedure can go horribly wrong.
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“I think most of the people involved in any art always secretly wonder whether they are really there because they’re good or there because they’re lucky.”
~Katharine Hepburn

Survey Says
Manolo Quezon, Ricky Carandang, Sonny Coloma, Jing Magsaysay, atbp. Ano ang basa mo sa pinaplantsang Presidential Communications Group?
– Okay ‘yan! Mas maraming nagtatrabaho, mas pabor sa gobyerno. 21.9%
– Naku, magiging magulo ‘yan! 37.5%
– Hintayin na lang natin.

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Elsewhere
Philippine Daily Inquirer: Who are the Abads?

Manila Standard Today: Ochoa hate mail gets Rated K

Newsbreak’s Inside Track: President Aquino upsets Japan and No to Lobbying

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THE INAUGURAL


Highlights
Benigno Simeon ‘Noynoy’ Aquino III is now the 15th president of the Republic of the Philippines. God saved the Philippines from Joseph Estrada!

During his inaugural address, President Noynoy Aquino asked “Kayo ba ay minsan ring nalimutan ng pamahalaang inyong iniluklok sa puwesto? Ako rin. Kayo ba ay nagtiis na sa trapiko para lamang masingitan ng isang naghahari-hariang de-wangwang sa kalsada? Ako rin. Kayo ba ay sawang-sawa na sa pamahalaang sa halip na magsilbi sa taumbayan ay kailangan pa nila itong pagpasensiyahan at tiisin? Ako rin. Kayo ba ay nakaligo na sa dagat ng basura? Kayo ba ay namatayan na ng kapatid dahil walang pampagamot? Ay, teka lang. Sensya na, mali ho yatang speech ang nabasa ko.”

In his inaugural speech, President Aquino said, “To those who are talking about reconciliation… we have this to say: there can be no reconciliation without justice.” Suddenly, his newly-separated sister Kris Aquino rose from her seat and shouted, “Kerrrrek!”

President Noynoy Aquino in his speech promised to eradicate ‘kotong’ – totally surprising the 3,000 cops that were deployed to secure his inauguration who thought he was their ally.


Speaking before half a million Filipinos, President Benigno Simeon Aquino III said, “Walang lamangan, walang padrino at walang pagnanakaw.” In straightforward terms, Ramos, Estrada, and Arroyo.

During his inaugural address, President Aquino said, “Sa paglimot ng pagkakasala, sinisigurado mong mauulit muli ang mga pagkakasalang ito.” And then Kris Aquino stood yet again and yelled, “May tama ka!”

The new president added, “Kayo ang boss ko, kaya’t hindi maaaring hindi ako makinig sa mga utos ninyo,” to which Vice President Jejomar Binay said, “Promise?”


Jejomar Cabauatan Binay also took his oath as the country’s vice president Wednesday. Analysts noted though that President-elect Noynoy Aquino and outgoing President Arroyo arrived at the Quirino Grandstand ahead of him calling it a “breach of protocol.” But for Binay loyalists, it’s a “come from behind.”

President Noynoy Aquino also said, “Sa mga nang-api sa akin, kaya ko kayong patawarin, at pinapatawad ko na kayo.” Finally, a sigh of relief for the black propaganda team of the Nacionalista Party.

President Aquino opened his speech by acknowledging East Timor President Jose Ramos Horta, former president Fidel Ramos, the Senate President and the House Speaker… prompting actress Susan Roces to note that “Chief Justice Renato Corona was snubbed… not once but twice!”

President Aquino’s 23-minute inaugural speech was praised for being clear, straight to the point, sincere, pragmatic and most importantly, for not borrowing a single line from the speeches of Barack Obama, Oprah Winfrey, Conan O’Brien and JK Rowling.

Light Bites
Obama: “Yes, we can!”
Noynoy: “No, wang-wang!”


Sidelights
From Times Street, incoming President Noynoy Aquino picked up outgoing President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo at Malacañang Palace. Noynoy felt really awkward… mainly because he’s not used to picking up women in broad daylight.

When Noynoy Aquino finally met Mrs. Arroyo face to face at the palace, he was tongue-tied and didn’t know what to say. After a brief moment of awkward silence, Noynoy finally blurted out, “Who are you wearing?”

Police say the crowd at the Quirino Grandstand peaked at 600,000 during the actual oath taking of President Noynoy Aquino at noon Wednesday. In fact, Noynoy was so overwhelmed by the huge crowd, he ended his speech by shouting, “Amen! Praise the Lord! Hallelujah!”

During the inaugural, Noynoy Aquino was the top trending topic on Twitter. Not to be outdone, Jejomar Binay was the No. 1 topic… in the Roxas household.

Former senator and defeated vice presidential candidate Mar Roxas was a no-show at Noynoy Aquino’s inauguration. It was understandable though because Roxas had to attend the burial… of his presidential ambitions.

In the evening, President Aquino went to the street party at the Quezon Memorial Circle where he sang Freddie Aguilar’s ‘90s hit Estudyante Blues. The first line of the song goes, “Si Ramos ang nakikita, Si Erap ang nasisisi, si Gloria ang laging may kasalanan!”


International singing sensation Charice Pempengco sang the Philippine National Anthem at President Aquino’s inauguration. Before the hosts called on Charice to sing, people at the Quirino Grandstand were visibly nervous… because Christian Bautista was also there.

Praises were heaped on Charice Pempengco for singing the national anthem correctly… to the chagrin of National Historical Institute** officials who were hoping to be interviewed on camera again had Charice bungled it.
**NHI was recently renamed National Historical Commission of the Philippines.

Regine Velasquez sang the melodramatic campaign song “Hindi Ka Nag-iisa,” the song used in Noynoy Aquino’s first music video that featured an all-star cast. Everyone in that video was present at the inaugural… except for James Yap.

The University of the Philippines-based Philippine Madrigal Singers and DLSU’s Kundirana also performed at the inaugural… eliciting a howl from the Ateneo community who accused the organizers of bias for not inviting the Ateneo Glee Club.

Did you see Jim Paredes’ co-host during the inauguration? FYI: That’s the very talented Mae Paner a.k.a. Juana Change, not Sharon Cuneta. ‘Sinlaki pero ‘di ‘sing mahal.

Reports say Sharon Cuneta wore a ‘recycled’ Fanny Serrano gown because there wasn’t enough time to finish a new gown. These days, a Sharon Cuneta gown requires at least three months to finish.

Another performer, Gary Valenciano was ecstatic. He quipped that “all sorts of Ks are here today: Kapamilya, Kapuso, Kapatid, Kabayan, Kaibigan and Kundirana.” And then from afar, he saw Mrs. Arroyo, a kawatan.

In Other News…
Immediately after turning over the presidency to Noynoy Aquino, Mrs. Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo hurriedly left for Pampanga. She had to rush to Lubao to personally pick the winning numbers in the special Inauguration Day jueteng draw.

Noli De Castro’s term is over. Kabayan said he has served his country well and added that he’s not afraid to face the Truth Commission (if requested) since he had nothing to hide and he didn’t hide anything – except for one thing – he didn’t tell us that he was the country’s vice president for six years.

Photo of the Weak

GMA: “Shobra ka naman Preshident-elect. ‘Di pa nga ‘ko nakakaalish ng palashyo, may Truth Commisshion ka na agad. Can we discussh it firssht over dinner? Pleassshe?”
Noynoy: “Manong driver, may lighter ho kayo. Nakaka-tense dito. Yosi muna ako.”
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“We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope.”
~Martin Luther King, Jr.

Survey Says
Gusto n’yo bang magkabalikan sina First Sister Kris Aquino at First Brother-in-Law James Yap?
YES! For the sake of their kid. 12.4%
No! Bakit pa? 25.4%
Hmpf! Pakialam ko! 62.2%

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Personal
Mabuhay ang bagong pangulo at bagong pangalawang pangulo ng bansa!
Padayon!

Mabuhay ang Pilipinas!

IDOLS

LEE DEWYZE is the new American Idol! After a nationwide vote, the shy and humble paint store clerk from Illinois was declared winner over young mother Crystal Bowersox of Ohio. Industry analysts say though that Bowersox is a better performer than DeWyze. Well, it does happen: better performers losing the vote? Hey, it just happened right here last May 10!

Since Day 1 of American Idol Season 9, the judges have been hinting of a Crystal Bowersox win. She has always been the frontrunner… until Chiz Escudero came out with an ad supporting Lee DeWyze.

Lee DeWyze has been declared winner of American Idol Season 9. Immediately after his win, various groups advised him to quit smoking.

America has voted and Lee DeWyze is crowned the new American Idol. Guess what, something odd happened during the finalé. As the official results were being announced, Annie Susano and Robert Ace Barbers suddenly appeared and claimed that massive fraud took place during the voting.

Morato’s Claim
Former PCSO and MTRCB Chairman Manoling Morato revealed that men approached him and offered to rig the polls in favor of Gilbert Teodoro for one billion pesos. Morato was stunned! Imagine, the men were asking one billion pesos from him! He subsequently rejected the offer saying the most that he had given a man was P1,500. Two hours na ‘yon!


Transition
Representatives of Mrs. Arroyo and Noynoy Aquino are now talking about ‘smooth transition.’ Like this morning, Mrs. Arroyo’s associates toured Noynoy’s men to Malacañang’s designated smoking area.

Congressman Pacquiao
Congressman-elect Manny Pacquiao says he is set to enroll in UP in preparation for his new job as Sarangani representative. Asked if he’s enrolling in a crash course, he replied, “Kungrisista aku, hindi pilutu! Gagu!”

Not True
Singing sensation Charice Pempengco has denied rumors she will appear on the hit US TV show “Glee.” However, it has been confirmed that Mar Roxas will appear on “Lost.”

Charice Pempengco has denied rumors she will appear on “Glee.” It has been confirmed though that Manny Villar will appear on “The Biggest Loser.”

Hot Weather
The weather bureau said temperature in Metro Manila reached 38 degrees on Wednesday! Sought for comment on the hot weather, president-apparent Noynoy Aquino said, “Wala ‘yan! ‘Yung bayaw ko ngang si James Yap, kayang mag-360 degrees!”
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“If you elect a matinee idol mayor, you’re going to have a musical comedy administration.”
~Robert Moses

Survey Says
Now that Noynoy Aquino has been elected president, should he quit smoking?
YES! Para na rin sa ikabubuti ng kalusugan niya. 44%
NO! Lifestyle niya ‘yun. 17%
WALA akong pakialam kung anumang gawin n’ya sa buhay n’ya! 39%

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