Malacañang AFTER Michael Christian Martinez’s historic Sochi Olympics stint:

Malacañang BEFORE Michael Christian Martinez skated at the Sochi Olympics:

MICHAEL CHRISTIAN Martinez became the first Filipino and Southeast Asian figure skater to participate in the Winter Olympics. Here and in Sochi, Michael has become everyone’s darling leaving Malacañang with no choice but to jump on the bandwagon.

Thanks to Michael Christian Martinez, many Filipinos learned more about the triple axels. We learned more about the triple lutzes. We learned more about the triple flip-double toes. And we learned more about this administration’s lack of concern toward sports development in general.

Figure skating is a fascinating winter sport. I wanna see the likes of Tanda, Sexy, Pogi and Janet Napoles skate. I’m serious. But I wanna see them compete against Tonya Harding.

Some people are asking if all figure skaters were gay just because two or three of them really looked gay. That’s stereotyping. It’s like asking if all lawmakers pocketed pork barrel funds just because four or five of them did. Oh wait! Sorry, that’s a very weak analogy. I take it back.

Feb 14 in History
February 14 was the day Alexander Graham Bell’s telephone patent was granted. Also on February 14, Juan Ponce Enrile was born. Those were two events that happened exactly 138 years ago.

Senate Minority Leader Juan Ponce Enrile celebrated his 90th birthday last February 14. At 90, he’s being romantically-linked to younger women. In his defense, does he have a choice?

But of course, Senator Enrile has denied that he is dating. To be precise though, he’s carbon dating.

I am in awe of Senator Enrile’s longevity. He’s just a few years shy of being a centenarian. To give you an idea of how old he is, when he was born, the exchange rate was 1 is to 5. That’s 1 cattle for every 5 sheep.

One of my favorite TV shows is back. I’m referring to ‘The Walking Dead’ – Or as pork scam whistleblowers would say: Enrile.

In Greenville, North Carolina, police arrested a 27-year-old woman they accused of failing to return a VHS tape. Yes, you can be arrested for that. When Senator Enrile heard this, he immediately returned his overdue Betamax tapes.

unicefJinggoy, 51
Senator Enrile’s ally, Jinggoy Estrada turned 51 on February 17. According to reports, Enrile’s birthday wish is for Jinggoy to become president in the future. Well, the presidency is a big question. And an even bigger question is will Enrile make it there? I mean, in the ‘future.’

Senator Enrile’s birthday wish for Jinggoy? To become president in 2016. Which begs the question: What have we done to you Enrile? Why would you want to punish us?

Metro motorists are advised to brace themselves for monstrous traffic jams as the construction of the Skyway Stage 3 project begins. We can do this people. If we survived our lawmakers, we can survive this traffic nightmare.

Cybercrime Law
Reports say the Supreme Court has upheld the legality of the controversial Anti-Cybercrime Law. Friends say I should be wary of onion-skinned politicians. And I was like, onion-skinned politicians? You mean, crocodile-skinned.

Some people say overly sensitive politicians may harass me by taking legal action against this blog. Again, this blog does not insult politicians. This blog merely describes them.
“Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.”
~ George Burns

Sound Bites
“Siyempre, ayaw ko namang maging kakosa siya. Ayaw kong makulong kami. Ang pinakamaganda ngayon ay dasal. Sana ang mga nag-aakusa sa amin ay magising naman sila.
~Bong Revilla reacting to Jinggoy Estrada’s “kakosa” joke

“Michael Christian Martinez looked all alone in that huge palace; there was no team to welcome him back to the stalls. Yet, as he sat back to listen to his scores being announced, his face broke into a wide grin and he held up his white jacket to show the name of the country he was representing: the Philippines. That little gesture spoke volumes. It didn’t matter that he won no medals. He was telling the world that his country exists—not just as the site of catastrophic disasters but as a pool of gifted and disciplined athletes.”
~Prof. Randy David, Michael’s triple axel, PDI 2/15/2014

Have a safe week!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: Reuters, Rappler, Philippine Daily Inquirer]

%d bloggers like this: