27 05 2012

Fifty Baseless Facts About the Government and Political Figures

No. 1: Joseph Estrada was a virgin when he married Luisa Ejercito.

No. 2: Manny Villar was so poor, his parents were only able to have him circumsized when he was already 16.

No. 3: In high school, Renato Corona was voted “Most Likely to Get Away With Anything.”

No. 4: On a scale of Lito Lapid to Miriam Defensor-Santiago, the average Senate IQ is Tito Sotto.

No. 5: Serafin Cuevas helped craft the Code of Hammurabi.

No. 6: Niel Tupas hated math in grade school. He’s poor in counting.

No. 7: The Imelda Marcos we see in Congress today is not the real Imelda Marcos. The former First Lady died in New York in 1999 at age 70.

No. 8: Juan Ponce Enrile can recite pi to 500 digits.

No. 9: The all-time favorite movie of Koko Pimentel’s ex-wife, Jewel May Lobaton is “Unfaithful.”

No. 10: By the time a congressman completes his first term, his net worth has increased by 85 percent.No. 11: Loren Legarda’s first ‘crush’ was her 25-year-old neighbor. She was only 10 then.

No. 12: President Aquino has nocturnal enuresis.

No. 13: Until 2010, Mar Roxas didn’t know how to ride a bicycle.

No. 14: Panfilo Lacson sleeps with a gun under his pillow.

No. 15: Grace Lee is allergic to second-hand smoke.

No. 16:   Toby Tiangco finished first runner-up in the ‘Mr. Xavier School’ pageant in 1985. The title was won by sophomore student Jose ‘JV’ Ejercito.

No. 17: Lawyer Karen Jimeno was born male.

No. 18: Ricky Carandang has a secret account on Twitter.

No.19: A recent study revealed 10 out of 5 opinion columnists of the Philippine Daily Inquirer believed Chief Justice Renato Corona would be convicted.

No. 20: Jejomar Binay switches to 24Oras whenever Korina Sanchez is reading the news on TV Patrol.No. 21: Bong Revilla converted to Islam in 2002.

No. 22: Next to Revilla, Edgardo Angara is the most sexually active member of the Senate.

No. 23: Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo is taller in the afternoon.

No. 24: Lawyer Ferdie Topacio worked as a standup comic to finance his post-grad studies.

No. 25: Under ‘Assets,’ Ronald Llamas declared in his SALN some 1,750 DVDs, VCDs, and CDs.

No. 26: DFA Secretary Albert Del Rosario, the richest cabinet member has 85 dollar acounts.

No. 27: Franklin Drilon has tried at least three diet programs in the last three years: Atkins, Cohen, and South Beach.

No. 28: A classified report showed 8 in 10 Customs officials/employees have accepted bribes and other gifts from smugglers.

No. 29: Mommy Dionisia noticed Manny Pacquiao’s homosexual tendencies in high school. She forced him to try boxing.

No. 30: Since DLSU joined the UAAP in 1986, DepEd’s Bro. Armin Luistro has never missed a single La Salle Archers game.

No. 31: Feeling insulted, Butch Abad rejected an endorsement offer from Svenson.

No. 32: Lito Lapid is undergoing therapy for epistemophobia.

No. 33: The Black and White Movement is the most dominant political party in the country today; in close second, Akbayan.

No. 34: Prospero Pichay eats all kinds of vegetables except for pechay.

No. 35: ETC Channel has offered the Basa sisters a reality show.

No. 36: The date of release of SWS and Pulse Asia surveys is subject to the approval of the Presidential Communications Group.

No. 37: Paquito ‘Jojo’ Ochoa is Chief Justice Renato Corona’s ‘eyes & ears’ in Malacañang.

No. 38: Jules Ledesma can speak Latin, Greek, and Sanskrit all at the same time. He is also ambidextrous, a somnambulist and a contortionist.

No. 39: Malacañang has postponed the release of the new 2,000-peso bill that promotes motherhood. The denomination features Kris Aquino, Josh, and Bimby..

No. 40: At least three senators admitted they have had ‘experience’ with the third sex, two during college and another, “just recently.”

No. 41: Kim Henares and Dinky Soliman are first cousins.

No. 42: When Mar Roxas lost the vice presidency, Judy Araneta-Roxas texted Korina Sanchez and said, “Jinx!”

No. 43: Jamby Madrigal was a national arm wrestling champion in grade school.

No. 44: In no particular order, the three government officials with the highest Temple Run scores are Tesda’s Joel Villanueva, MMDA Chairman Francis Tolentino and Health Undersecretary Dr. Eric Tayag.

No. 45: Manoling Morato did the styling (including hair and make up) of co-host Maggie De La Riva in the controversial PCSO program “Dial M.’’

No. 46: Viel Aquino-Dee was bullied by Kris Aquino when they were young. She has yet to recover from the trauma.

No. 47: Conchita Carpio-Morales was a piranha in her past life.

No. 48: On the average, Sharon Cuneta-Pangilinan tweets 850 times a day: 500 replies to her bashers, and 350 Biblical quotes.

No. 49: Abigail Valte spends 45 minutes fixing her eyebrows daily.

No. 50: Chiz Escudero has a twin sister named Villa.

*Rumors, Facts and Humor was also the title of a defunct local showbiz talk show.
“There are no facts, only interpretations.”
~ Friedrich Nietzsche

Photo of the Weak
Caption this!

Quotes Quiz. Who said:
“What is clear between us is that the [reported] third party was not the reason for the separation.”
A: Sen. Koko Pimentel
B: Jewel May Lobaton (Pimentel)
C: Sen. Chiz Escudero
D: Christine Flores (Escudero)

You Have Spoken
Ano ang nais mong maging hatol ng impeachment court kay CJ Corona?
-Acquit! 35.63%
-Convict! 54.45%
-Problema na nila ‘yon. Wala akong pakialam. 9.91%

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

Answer to Quotes Quiz: B.


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