THE DREAM MATCH


WHO SHALL WIN IT? The Golden Boy or the Pacman? That’s the million dollar question that’ll be answered tomorrow as Mexican-American Oscar De La Hoya and General Santos City’s pride Manny “Pacman” Peck-yow (as Michael Buffer would say it) duke it out in tomorrow’s Dream Match.

But wait, there are other questions albeit trivial ones that Filipinos (I for one) would love to know the answers as the two boxers face off in Las Vegas. So here goes the…


Top 10 “Other” Questions You Want Answered Before, During and After Tomorrow’s Dream Match

10: How would a heartbroken Karylle sing the Philippine National Anthem? Would she render a subdued version as Kyla did or would she do a Lani Misalucha who almost bungled the “Lupang Hinirang” in an apparent attempt to impress her “birit-loving” fans? Will the cameras pan in on Dingdong Dantes who is expected to watch the fight?

9: What special programs will ABS-CBN air to avert a looming Sunday ratings massacre?

8: How many hours will Nanay Dionesia Pacquiao spend praying the rosary?

7: Will there be a motorcade in Manila this time if Pacquiao wins the fight or will he continue to snub Mayor Alfredo Lim?

6. In the event that Manny Pacquiao wins it, how many members of the Atienza family will surround him as he grants television interviews when he returns to Manila?

5: How many product logos will be printed on Manny Pacquiao’s trunks?

4: What time will GMA 7 start airing the main bout: (A) 1pm (B) 2pm (C) Nakikipanood ka lang, nagrereklamo ka pa? (Since GMA 7 is not a member of the Kapisanan ng mga Brodkaster ng Pilipinas, is there another governing body or agency that ought to monitor, if not penalize commercial overloading?)

3: If Pacquiao wins and President Arroyo makes a call to congratulate him while he’s still in the ring, how many televiewers will turn off their television sets?

2: Lawmakers and other elective officials have probably spent hundreds of thousands of pesos in taxpayers’ money traveling to Las Vegas to watch the fight. So, excluding this large-scale larceny, what will be the nationwide crime rate tomorrow?

And the No. 1 “other” question you want answered before, during, and after tomorrow’s Dream Match…

1: Of the estimated 50 to 60 million Filipinos who are going to watch the telecast, how many will throw invectives at deputy national security adviser Luis “Chavit” Singson when he climbs up the boxing ring after the bout?

Survey Question:
If a Pacquiao loss would trigger First Gentleman Mike Arroyo’s heart attack, would you pray for a De La Hoya victory? Now that’s a tough one! Your nationalism is at stake. Think about it.

Good luck Manny!

_________
Victory is sweetest when you’ve known defeat.
~Vince Lombardi

THE FIRST GENTLEMAN


Emergency Landing
On its way to Lima via Los Angeles for the APEC Summit in Peru, President Arroyo’s plane made an emergency landing in Japan after her husband fell ill on board. ABS-CBN first reported the First Gentleman had suffered a heart attack. Other networks said he experienced stomach cramps; some reported he had chest and back pains. Whatever the real reason was, one thing was sure: for a moment, journalists thought the Philippines would have its second widow president.

President Arroyo’s plane was forced to make an emergency landing at Kansai airport in Osaka, Japan when First Gentleman Mike Arroyo fell ill. Sketchy reports say President Arroyo thought the First Gentleman was just joking inside the plane when he began clutching his chest. She reportedly told him, “Hmpf! Tigilan mo nga ako. Napanood ko na ‘yan eh. Ginawa na ‘yan nung lalaki sa wheelchair.”

President Arroyo left her husband in Japan to attend the Asia Pacific Economic Cooperation forum in Lima, Peru. After all, he is now “stable and okay;” the Philippine economy is not.

Some sources say the First Gentleman will soon fly back to Manila via a Japanese charter plane. This travel arrangement will definitely push through… unless Mikey Arroyo insists on a charter change.

Malacañang is appealing for prayers for the quick recovery of the First Gentleman. Press Secretary Jess Dureza offered to lead the prayer but was politely declined.

Late last night, ABS-CBN News online posted a screaming headline saying the First Gentleman had suffered a heart attack. It turned out to be inaccurate though. But just the same, ABS-CBN never felt so good writing that incorrect news item.

A palace statement says First Gentleman Mike Arroyo is now out of danger. Then, the country is still in danger.

President Arroyo’s plane was forced to make an emergency landing at Kansai airport in Osaka when First Gentleman Mike Arroyo fell ill. Asked if he knew where Osaka was, Sen. Lito Lapid said, “Of course! Ano ako tanga? May branches ‘yan sa Cubao, Baclaran, Guadalupe at Quiapo. D’yan ako nagpapacheck-up ng mata!”

In Other News
Sen. Loren Legarda attended the SRO premiere of Dingdong Dantes and Marian Rivera’s movie One True Love at SM Megamall earlier in the week. The two young stars met Loren in person for the first time. When Marian said, “Hi ma’am, I am Marian,” she replied, “Hi Marian. I am Senator Loren.” When Dingdong said, “Hi Senator, I am Dingdong,” she replied, “Hi Dingdong. I am single.”

__________
So many people spend their health gaining wealth, and then have to spend their wealth to regain their health.
~AJ Reb Materi

ALL I REALLY NEED TO KNOW I LEARNED IN PHILIPPINE POLITICS

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A WEEK AFTER the February 2006 standoff at the Marines headquarters in Fort Bonifacio and the succeeding raid at the Daily Tribune office, I came up with a list of 20+ things I learned from those recent events in Philippine politics. The Philippine Daily Inquirer published the list albeit trimmed to 18, while People’s Journal (lifting the same list from the PDI) printed it as an editorial the next day.

Home alone on a quiet All Souls Day, I opted to create a rather serious post today. Enjoy reading, and let’s continue heckling this week!

Some of the things I’ve learned from recent events in politics and government:

You are poor. You are a suspected thief. You get locked up.
You are rich. You are a suspected thief. You get a check up.

A contingency fund, a cash advance, and an intelligence fund. They are one and the same.

If you’re a police general and you couldn’t attend an Interpol conference abroad, send your wife instead.

Catholic bishops and nuns – the staunchest critics of the proposed bill to curb population explosion do not actually contribute to population growth.

Impeachment is a numbers game. Winners usually take home a seven–figure jackpot.

History tells us that it takes decades to build states and nations. Today, it only takes a MOA to create one.

When an economic adviser calls her president a “bitch,” something is wrong with the adviser. If he doesn’t get fired, something is wrong with the president.

Double budget insertions are perfectly legal. Unless discovered.

The surest way to get appointed in a government post is to lose in a national election.

When an executive clemency is granted shortly before midnight on a Friday, better check on the list of convicts to be released. You might be in for a surprise.

Relatives of murder victims who oppose the granting of an executive clemency to a murder convict must learn how to swim first before they appeal their case to the Justice secretary..

There are only two genuine groups of oppositionists in the country: the Communist Party of the Philippines, and ABS-CBN.

And thanks to the Commission on Human Rights, I have learned that when a suspected NPA or Moro rebel is tortured, that’s human rights violation. When a government soldier is killed by the suspected NPA or Moro rebel, that’s life.

Have a great week ahead!

Elsewhere…
Did Luchi Cruz-Valdez resign from ABS-CBN?
__________
Irony is an insult conveyed in the form of a compliment..
Edwin Percy Whipple

ETHICAL

NTC vs. ABS-CBN
For airing an interview with wanted MILF leader Kumander Bravo, the National Telecommunications Commission filed a complaint to the KBP against ABS-CBN. The NTC says the network violated the KBP’s Broadcast Code of 2007 particularly the provision that states, “”broadcast facilities shall not be used or allowed to be used for advocating the overthrow of government by force or violence,” and “the broadcast of materials which tend to incite treason, rebellion, sedition or create civil disorder or disturbance is prohibited.” This marks the first time NTC officials filed such a complaint against ABS-CBN… which could only mean one thing: they haven’t actually listened to DZMM’s “Tambalang Failon and Sanchez.”

NTC vs. ABS-CBN II
The NTC filed a complaint to the KBP against ABS-CBN for airing an interview with rogue MILF leader Kumander Bravo who is wanted by the military. But ABS-CBN News head Maria Ressa insists that the Kumander Bravo interview is a legitimate and ethical story and that ABS-CBN will not suspend the airing of his interviews… unless he starts talking about Nadia Montenegro’s love life.

NTC vs. ABS-CBN III
ABS-CBN successfully located and interviewed rogue MILF commander Bravo who has a 10 million-peso bounty on his head and is wanted by the Armed Forces of the Philippines. Outraged military officials who watched the interview vowed to intensify the info gathering and massive manhunt for Bravo in the Lanao Provinces, and soon at the ABS-CBN newsroom.

Meralco’s Power Rate Hike
Amid difficult times, the Lopez-owned Manila Electric Company or Meralco implemented a 36 percent power rate increase. Militant leader Rafael Mariano described the increase as “deceitful.” Cong. Mikey Arroyo believed it was “unjustified.” ABS-CBN News said it was “legitimate and ethical.”

“Euro Generals” Controversy
Retired Philippine National Police director for comptrollership Eliseo De La Paz underwent normal arrival procedures at the NAIA when he arrived Tuesday. Airport manager Angel Atutubo said De La Paz was not treated as a VIP and not a single marshal was assigned to escort him. Atutubo was understandably being careful… because the last time he escorted someone out of the airport, the La Salle Brothers accused him of kidnapping!

“Euro Generals” Controversy II
This has yet to be confirmed but retired PNP director for comptrollership Eliseo De La Paz will reportedly bring to the Senate what’s left of the undeclared 6.9 million pesos cash he was caught carrying in Moscow. To be sure it’s the real stuff, Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago wanted to hire canines to sniff out the money. But Sen. Panfilo Lacson said there’s no need for a K9 unit… as long as Senators Alan Peter and Joker Arroyo are there.

“Euro Generals” Controversy III
Retired PNP director for comptrollership Eliseo De La Paz and DILG Sec. Ronaldo Puno have conflicting claims with regard to the 6.9 million pesos worth of undeclared cash De La Paz carried while in Russia. De La Paz said the money was a “cash advance” while Puno claimed it was a “contingency” fund. But De La Paz’ wife, Maria Fe who traveled with him to Russia said, “I couldn’t really tell whether it was a cash advance or a contingency fund because when my husband handed me the money, he just said, “Sweetheart, ingatan mo ‘to… pang-shopping!”

Jocjoc to be Deported
US authorities will deport former agriculture undersecretary Jocjoc Bolante before the end of October. But Bolante’s legal counsel Ira Azulay refused to reveal the exact return date saying, “We’re concerned about his safety.” That’s actually a valid concern… because if he gets “kidnapped” when he arrives at the NAIA, he cannot expect support from the La Salle Brothers. He’s Atenean.

Jocjoc to be Deported 2
Lawyer Harry Roque is all over the news again announcing with certainty that former agriculture undersecretary Jocjoc Bolante will be deported in 24 hours. I know for a fact that Roque’s a UP professor (and I admire him) but I didn’t know he’s with the US Department of Homeland Security.

__________
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
– Plato

KARMA

null ABS-CBN Suspends TV Host
ABS-CBN suspended the talent contract of libel convict and TV/radio host Cristy Fermin following her explosive tirade against actress Nadia Montenegro which the network said violated the highest standards of professionalism and journalistic integrity. In another report dismissed as “unrelated” by Fermin herself, Kris Aquino has reportedly issued a statement saying, “God is really good and God knows how much I have missed The Buzz.”

ABS-CBN Suspends TV Host II
Libel convict Cristy Fermin has been suspended by ABS-CBN “for violating the highest standards of professionalism and journalistic integrity.” She’ll neither appear on “The Buzz” nor host her radio program on DZMM. Likewise, she’ll automatically be barred from entering the province of Rizal… unless the governor lifts the ban on the entry of Metro Manila garbage.

ABS-CBN Suspends TV Host III
Less than a week after ABS-CBN News boss Maria Ressa fired Cristy Fermin’s protégé – showbiz columnist Ogie Diaz for violating the network’s code of ethics, ABS-CBN Entertainment suspended Fermin for violating the highest standards of professionalism and journalistic integrity. Last month, the network also suspended news executive Luchi Cruz-Valdez and Ces Drilon was also suspended for disobeying her superiors. With these recent developments, ABS-CBN insiders are left with one question: “Bakit sobrang lakas ng kapit ni Willie Revillame?”

null ABS-CBN Suspends TV Host IV
After dismissing tabloid columnist Ogie Diaz, ABS-CBN suspended Cristy Fermin. Network executives were quick to deny allegations… of “ethnic cleansing.”

Dangerous Places
The International Federation of Journalists says Iraq is still the most dangerous place in the world for journalists followed by the African nation of Somalia. In close third was ABS-CBN.


Madonna-Guy Ritchie Divorce
British newspapers say Madonna and Guy Ritchie are splitting up. The rumor intensified when Madonna was spotted in Hong Kong with her make-up artist.

Madonna-Guy Ritchie Divorce II
British newspapers say Madonna and Guy Ritchie are splitting up. Local newspapers are not buying it though… unless Fanny Serrano issues a confirmation.

null Top RP Universities
Overtaking the University of the Philippines System, Ateneo De Manila University topped the 2008 survey of Philippine universities conducted by The Times Higher Education-Quacquarelli Symonds (THE-QS). Perennnial frontrunner UP System doubted the survey saying it did not participate this year after THE-QS asked for an advertising fee of $49,000 or P2M pesos. Distant third placer De La Salle University also issued a statement on Ateneo’s feat. It blamed the referees.

__________
People pay for what they do, and still more, for what they have allowed themselves to become. And they pay for it simply: by the lives they lead.
– Edith Wharton

EXTINCT


GMA in Beijing
President Arroyo will attend the opening of the Beijing Olympics on Friday, August 8. On Thursday, she will fete Filipino athletes with a dinner at the Asia Hotel Beijing. GMA is hopeful that the country could finally win its first Olympic gold medal ever particularly in one of her favorite sports, archery… something that’s highly improbable unless of course she volunteers herself as the target.

Air Quality
DENR’s Environment Management Bureau (EMB) reported that air quality in the country has improved by 33 percent. The EMB attributed this to Malacañang and its allies in Congress “dahil sa husay nilang magtago ng baho ng gobyerno.”

Endangered Species
A new research has revealed that monkeys are getting extinct. Apparently, the researchers haven’t been to Philippine Congress.

Endangered Species II
A new study has revealed that monkeys, orangutans, gorillas, and other primates are getting extinct. Ultra-conservative members of the Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines have expressed concern over the result of the study, and called on all apes in the country to junk the Reproductive Health Bill.

ABS-CBN News Site
In case you didn’t notice (I did!) the ABS-CBN News Web site was shut down over the weekend following the Lopez network’s failure to renew the registration and pay the corresponding domain fees after it expired last July 26. I just don’t get it. They couldn’t pay the domain fee of no more than 3,000 pesos and yet, Justice Sabio has been offered 10 million?

SIGNS


Top 5 Signs that A Member of the Court of Appeals Has Been Bribed (And Has Accepted It)

5: When he sees the 26 suitcase-bearing girls on Deal or No Deal, he refers to them as the 26-M.

4: He signs up as a member of the “Judy Ann Santos. I Believe.” fan club.

3: When you ask about his motto in life, he replies, “In the service of the Filipino people.”

2: He stops addressing fellow justices as “Compañero” and starts calling them “Kapamilya.”

And the No. 1 sign that a member of the Court of Appeals has been bribed (and has accepted it)…

1: His favorite pick up line goes, “Say yes to me and I promise, sa piling ko… may liwanag ang buhay.”

THE RUNNING MAN

null CBCP on Condom Use

Reports say the Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines now allows the use of condom by married couples. I don’t know with you but I don’t see any reason why we should allow a group of celibate, sex-deprived men to meddle with other people’s sex life.

James Yap Fined

James Yap was fined by the PBA Board for his involvement in a scuffle during the heated match between Purefoods and Talk ‘N Txt last week. As seen on television, Yap crept behind Phone Pals import Terrence Leather and then gave him a kick. When the American turned around, Mrs. Kris Aquino started running as Leather chased him. Yup, he ran! And that’s just Leather. Imagine what it would have been like if it was Kris.

An oblivious Terrence Leather null was kicked by James Yap from behind during a PBA scuffle last week. Yap then ran like a scared puppy when an incensed Leather started chasing him. Asked why he did it on Leather, James replied, “Para ma-experience lang. Sa bahay kasi, ako lagi ang sinisipa.”

Creeping behind Talk ‘n Txt import Terrence Leather, Purefoods star James Yap kicked him then started running around the court when the American import went after him. Yap has since apologized for doing the kick which he claimed he learned from his wife.

null Talking to GMA News, Kris Aquino defended his husband James Yap from his detractors saying, “Feehling ko, pinag-iinitan nilang mashyado shi Jamesssh.” Tama ka Kris, feeling ka!

null ABS-CBN Documentary

ABS-CBN is airing the controversial documentary on the kidnapping of its reporter Ces Drilon and her crew despite a request from the Department of Justice to postpone it. ABS-CBN’s decision was understandable. The network shelled out millions of pesos for her release; it’s time to recoup the expense.

null JDV: I’m Talking

Pangasinan Rep. Jose De Venecia said he would testify at the Senate hearing on the NBN-ZTE deal when he is given a clean bill of health by his doctors – or until such time that he runs of out alibis.

CESPENDED

Ces Drilon Suspended null

ABS-CBN suspended reporter/news anchor Ces Drilon for three months for disobeying orders that resulted in her kidnapping and that of her camera crew in Sulu last month. Drilon apologized to her superiors but nonetheless thanked them for giving her the chance to spend more time with her dermatologist, at her favorite spa, and of course, in Rustan’s.

Reacting to her three-month suspension, Ces Drilon apologized to ABS-CBN for causing anxiety to the network and for putting the lives of her crew in danger. It’s not clear though if she’s apologizing too to the people of Indanan, Sulu for putting their mayor in jail.

null Pacquiao Is Back

During Manny Pacquiao’s courtesy call to President Arroyo in Malacañang last week, the president made jabs to mimic Pacquiao’s lethal punches – giving us a glimpse of what she exactly does when Mike Arroyo pisses her off.

An Inquirer report noticed the absence of large crowds at Manny Pacquiao’s motorcade in Manila last Friday. Apparently, Manileños were not informed that Lito Atienza’s family and Chavit Singson wouldn’t be riding Manny’s float this time.

If he had his way, Army reservist and boxing champion Manny Pacquiao said he would fight alongside government troops. Asked how he intends to defeat the rebels, Pacquaio replied, “Iimaginin ku na lang na Mixicans sila!”

Reports say Manny Pacquiao is donating 3million pesos to the victims of typhoon “Frank.” But that figure could still go up… depending on his luck at the baccarat table this coming week.

null Bishop vs. Boxing

In his Manila Standard Today column on July 5, anti-Arroyo bishop Teodoro Bacañi Jr. confesses that he doesn’t watch boxing and won’t be heaping praises on Manny Pacquiao’s recent victory because boxing is immoral. Between boxing and sexually harassing a secretary, I’m sure Bishop Bacani knows which one is more immoral.

null Miss Universe 2008

The country’s bet to the 2008 Miss Universe pageant in Vietnam, Jennifer Barrientos said that she’s sure of “bringing home the crown.” She didn’t specify though if it’s a Pepsi or a Coca-cola crown.

The Miss Universe organization scrapped the text and online voting for the Miss Photogenic contest… totally shaterring the Filipinos’ hope of winning at least a minor title in this year’s pageant.

PHENOMENAL PACQUIAO

Manny Pacquiao Wins

Manny Pacquiao snatched the WBC lightweight title from David Diaz. Diaz reportedly earned 800 thousand dollars from the fight, his biggest paycheck ever. But that’s still nothing compared what GMA 7 & Solar Sports earned.

Mexican-American David Diaz gave no excuses after losing his WBC lightweight title. If Diaz were a Pinoy politician, Pacquiao would now be facing poll fraud allegations.

Filipino boxing hero Manny Pacquiao won his fourth world title yesterday. Pacquiao’s impressive victory has silenced David Diaz, Diaz’ American supporters, the Mexican community, – and Recah Trinidad.

null Postscript to a Sea Tragedy

A day after MV Princess of the Stars sank, Sulpicio Lines blamed the Philippine Coast Guard for the mishap. The next day, the management said it was an “act of God.” Then last Friday, the company was blaming the local weather bureau, PAG-ASA. Surviving relatives of the ill-fated ship’s passengers must prepare: they’re next.

Sulpicio Lines is suing PAG-ASA for gross negligence. If the court dismisses the case, Sulpicio Lines is suing typhoon “Frank.”

Sulpicio Lines has blamed nature, the Philippine Coast Guard, and the weather bureau for the maritime mishap that struck its vessel Princess of the Stars. The company’s so confused it’s blaming everybody. Now that would be much easier if Sulpicio Lines’ owners were leftists. They’ve only got GMA to blame.

Gloria and Obama null

Democratic presidential candidate Sen. Barack Obama sent President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo a letter of apology for being unable to meet with her because of his busy schedule. Simply put, she’s not a priority.

Sen. Barack Obama apologized to President Arroyo for being unable to meet with her. The letter of apology was dated June 24, two days before their expected meeting. Simply put, pinaghandaan talaga ni Obama – ang ‘di nila pagkikita.

null Gloria and McCain

President Arroyo met today with Republican presidential candidate John McCain in Washington DC. The meeting lasted for only about 15 minutes mainly because the 72-year-old McCain has so many other things to do in life with only a few years left here on Earth.

Who’s Your Daddy?!? null

Last week, ABS-CBN chair Eugenio “Gabby” Lopez III said reporter Ces Drilon would still have to face administrative sanction for venturing into forbidden territory in violation of her bosses’ orders. Asked what could be the possible penalty, Lopez answered, “it might just be spanking.” “In that case, I will do it myself.” And we thought Ces has suffered enough at the hands of her captors.

null ABS-CBN chair Gabby Lopez said Ces Drilon would be sanctioned for violating her bosses at the news department. Asked what could be the possible penalty, Lopez answered, “it might just be spanking; I will do it myself.” In another story dismissed by Lopez as totally unrelated, study showed more female employees of ABS-CBN are sanctioned for various offenses than males, 10 to 1.

ABS-CBN Chair Gabby Lopez said Ces Drilon would have to be sanctioned for “endangering the lives of others” in Sulu. See the double standard there? Ces Drilon “endangered” the lives of others and she’ll be punished. Willie Revillame and Wowowee “took” the lives of others and he was rewarded.

Mike Arroyo’s Birthday null

First Gentleman Jose Miguel Arroyo celebrated his 62nd birthday in New York on Saturday, June 28 with only his son Mikey and wife, President Arroyo beside him. But he still had so much fun… primarily because he felt he was with a clone and a clown.