MMK 2021 (DEAR CYNTHIA… )

Dear Cynthia,

Sipag at tiyaga po ba talaga ang susi sa tagumpay? Ang meron lang kasi ako: ganda at lakas ng loob. Paano po ‘yan?!?

THE COUNTRY’s richest man, former Senate president Manny Villar is reportedly interested in acquiring media giant, ABS-CBN. Rumors say Cynthia Villar looks forward to hosting the award-winning drama anthology, ‘Maalaala Mo Kaya.’

In fact, this early, people have been sending letters to Madam Cynthia.

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever8

GOVERNMENT STATION


FOR THE SECOND time in less than a week and the third time in a month, broadcast network ABS-CBN was reportedly given preferential treatment by Malacañang. Four days after the network allegedly received an advance copy of President Aquino’s SONA, the Philippine Daily Inquirer said palace spokesman Edwin Lacierda broke the news “about Memorandum Circular No. 2 not in the government-run National Broadcasting Network as protocol demanded, but in the privately owned ABS-CBN.” The Malacañang Press Corps (MPC) is now investigating reports Lacierda’s application for the position of “Breaking News Correspondent” has been approved by Maria Ressa.

Breaking News! Unconfirmed reports say ABS-CBN News and Current Affairs head Maria Ressa has decided to pull out the network’s reporters from Malacañang. Edwin Lacierda and Ricky Carandang are already in the palace; Ressa believes that’s redundancy.

The Malacañang Press Corps (MPC) is protesting the alleged bias of Malacañang towards ABS-CBN. Members of the MPC felt they’ve had enough when palace spokespersons ended a recent press briefing with the line, “Salamat sa inyong pagdalo. Kami ang Communications Group ng Pangulo… naglilingkod sa inyo saan man sa mundo!”

For the second time in a month, palace spokesperson Edwin Lacierda apologized to the Malacañang Press Corps for breaking an important piece of information to the privately-owned ABS-CBN network. Lacierda issued the apology on ANC.

SONA Leak
Palace spokesperson Edwin Lacierda says Malacañang is now investigating reports that an advance copy of President Aquino’s State of the Nation Address was given to ABS-CBN last Monday. Lacierda said the probe would be as transparent as possible. In fact, the public will have a chance to see the actual investigation… on ABS-CBN’s XXX.

Palace spokesperson Edwin Lacierda said “I don’t know how ABS was able to get a copy (but) I can very well vouch for the fact that although Ricky Carandang is a former employee of ABS, he did not in any way leak it to ABS because I was with him the whole time” to which former ANC host Manolo Quezon said, “Eh bakit nakatingin ka sa ‘kin?”

Spokespersons
The Communications Group of President Aquino will soon have three spokespersons: Herminio ‘Sonny’ Coloma, Edwin Lacierda, and Ricky Carandang – one for dzMM, another for ABS-CBN, and a third for ANC.

Survey Says…
Are palace communicators (e.g. Edwin Lacierda) biased towards ABS-CBN?
A: Mismo! – 25%
B: Obvious naman ‘di ba? – 25%
C: Is water liquid? – 25%
D: Okay lang. Kebs! – 25%

This is our new survey. But no need to vote. This is a biased poll. The results have been leaked to ABS-CBN even before they’re posted here.

This just in: Rumors say the Philippine Lotto Draw will soon air on ABS-CBN! Wohoo!
———————
“I think perfect objectivity is an unrealistic goal; fairness, however, is not.”
~Michael Pollan

Enjoy your weekend!

Personal Faves
SRO (Suhestyon, Reaksyon at Opinyon) with Lynda Jumilla and Alvin Elchico nightly on dzMM after TV Patrol and Strictly Politics with Pia Hontiveros, Tuesdays@7:30 PM on ANC.

IMPARTIAL AND OFFICIAL


May 11, 2010
Makati City

THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN.

I congratulate Sen. Benigno Simeon “Noynoy” Aquino III on his victory.

I accept the will of the people.

I encourage every Filipino to work side-by-side with our new president… with the exception of those who are allergic to second hand smoke.

I would like to thank the readers of this blog who volunteered to disseminate the information that I maintain a Twitter account. I may have failed to update my blog on Election Day but people were able to monitor my activities by following me on Twitter.

Today, I concede. Yes, I concede that Noynoy Aquino is a more entertaining subject than Manuel Villar Jr., Joseph Estrada, or any other presidential candidates.

His victory is just the beginning. There’s so much work to do. There’s a lot of Noynoyisms to write about.

Let us celebrate democracy and let the heckling flourish even more under his administration.

Mabuhay ang sambayanang Pilipino! Mabuhay ang Pilipinas!

Signed:

The Professional Heckler

—————————

In the news today…
Conceding defeat to Noynoy Aquino, Sen. Manuel Villar Jr. apologized to the people whom he may have hurt during the campaign. He apologized to his opponents, to their supporters, and to his critics. He didn’t say though when is he going to apologize to his mother.

Speaking before the press Tuesday morning, Manny Villar conceded defeat to Noynoy Aquino. In accepting his sorry loss, Villar vowed to support the Aquino administration… by not releasing any psychiatric reports anymore.

Sen. Manny Villar has conceded defeat to Noynoy Aquino. There’s no word yet though if Willie Revillame is also conceding defeat to Jobert Sucaldito.

Gordon and JC, Too
Reports say Sen. Richard Gordon was the third presidential candidate to concede defeat. That’s according to news reports. But according to SWS and Pulse Asia, he’s the sixth candidate to do so.

At press time, Sen. Jamby Madrigal is in 8th place in the presidential race. But the feisty senator is not about to concede defeat saying, “Hindi ako kumakain ng pride.”

Trailing his eight rivals in the official counting, Ang Kapatiran Party standard-bearer JC De Los Reyes has also conceded defeat. K.


Gilbert Throws in the Towel
Lakas-Kampi-CMD standard-bearer Gilbert Teodoro has conceded defeat to his second cousin, Sen. Noynoy Aquino. Unfortunately for Gilbert, he failed to make it work. I mean, “Mind over mother.”

In accepting his defeat, administration candidate Gilbert Teodoro said, “I did not fight for a political position for myself but for an idea. Winning or losing is secondary. We fight for an idea.” Monitoring Gibô on ANC, Noynoy Aquino inexplicably had a nosebleed.

Administration candidate Gilbert Teodoro lost the presidency. Pastor Apollo Quiboloy’s “God” lost its credibility. Boo!

Mar and Binay
Jejomar Binay is reportedly winning the race for vice president despite getting junked by the INC; snubbed by Quiboloy, and dumped by his own running mate. Now that’s what you call ‘failure of rejection.’

Outgoing Makati City Jejomar Binay looks headed for an upset win over Sen. Mar Roxas. Sought for comment, Roxas said, “Masakit. Para akong tinadyakan ng dark horse.”

As Jejomar Binay leads the counting for vice president, Noynoy Aquino denies reports that some Liberal Party stalwarts have started to abandon his running mate, Mar Roxas. Dissatisfied with Noynoy’s denial, Joey Salceda suggested a loyalty check.

Ex-presidential contender turned vice presidential candidate Mar Roxas is losing his bid for the vice presidency… making ex-future First Lady Korina Sanchez the leading candidate for ex-future Second Lady.

Partial, unofficial tally shows Sen. Mar Roxas is trailing Jejomar Binay in the vice presidential race. When he saw the partial results in the news, Roxas said, “Basta! Alam ko na kung sino ang hindi ko isasama sa repeat concert ng Tears for Fears!”

Erap and Binay
Videos and photos have revealed that Joseph Estrada did not vote for a vice presidential candidate. But Estrada’s running mate, Jejomar Binay was unfazed by the reported alleged rejection. After all, he’s got his ‘other’ president.

Noynoy Wins
Results of the partial, unofficial count show that Sen. Noynoy Aquino has won the presidency. Finally, he’s got something to write under the column “Achievements” on his curriculum vitaé.

Noynoy Aquino has confirmed reports that Dinky Soliman has accepted his offer to become DSWD secretary. Aquino has earlier vowed to reward Soliman with a cabinet post on condition that she won’t sing “If We Hold On (Together)” again.

Photo of the Weak

Ano ang pinag-uusapan ng dalawang lalaki sa larawan?

A: “Natatandaan mo pa ba noong magpunta tayo minsan sa isang girlie joint doon sa QC? Sinundan pala ako ng Tita Ellen Binay mo. ‘Buti na lang, madilim sa kuwarto. Hindi ako nakita!”

“Ha-ha-ha! Pati ba naman ‘yun natandaan n’yo pa? Para tuloy gusto kong bumalik.”

B: “Sa tingin mo ‘Noy, iinterviewhin pa kaya ako ni Korina kapag bumalik siya sa DZMM?”

“Ha-ha-ha! Kabahan ka na Manong! Pero ‘wag ako ang tanungin mo d’yan. ‘The Buzz’ lang at ‘SNN’ ang hawak ko.”

C: “Puwede bang maghati tayo ng term? First three years, ikaw ang presidente, ako ang bise. ‘Tapos, last three years, ako naman ang presidente at ikaw ang bise. Sige na, pumayag ka na. Subok lang!”

“Ha-ha-ha! Nautot naman ako sa sinabi n’yo. Tanungin ko muna ang Pink Sisters.”

D: “Nagbabasa ka ba ng column ni Conrado De Quiros ng Inquirer? Paborito ka no’n! You think, magugustuhan n’ya rin ako?”

“Oo naman! Kayo pa!? Alam n’yo bang mahilig sa analogy ng ‘good & evil’ si De Quiros? Eksakto! Good ako. Evil kayo! I luveeeet!”
————–
Note: This is just a partial dose of my post-elections report. The results from the local voting are next. Plus, a special article on our new president.
————–
Battle of the Networks
Did you see GMA News’ use of a “hologram” in their election coverage? Award-winning journalist Howie Severino became the first Filipino to be beamed in “a hologram” on live TV. But the feat didn’t impress Noynoy Aquino that much saying he’s seen the same stuff in his favorite PC games.

Howie Severino became the first Filipino journalist to be beamed on live TV in “a hologram” – or as Pastor Apollo Quiboloy would describe it, “a vision.”

GMA News and Public Affairs ushered in a first on Philippine television. Howie Severino became the first Filipino to be beamed in “a hologram” on live TV. But rumors say it wasn’t really Howie but his boss, Jessica Soho who was supposed to be beamed first during the coverage. There wasn’t just enough ‘beam’ to make it possible.


How about ABS-CBN’s high-tech equipment? Did you see the huge Philippine map that was projected right in front of the news anchor? Viewers were treated to a rare spectacle when some of the islands on the map started to disappear on live TV – during high tide!

ABS-CBN’s comprehensive coverage of the May 2010 elections utilized a new broadcast technology called “augmented reality,” which combines computer-generated imagery in live-video streams as a way to expand the real-world. Or as Lito Lapid would say, “Higanteng touch screen lang ‘yan!”

Finally… another rumor has it GMA News was not the first news organization to use the idea of “a hologram” to make it appear that a news person is actually there in person while fellow news persons pretend to be in awe while talking to her. That’s exactly what happens every time Korina Sanchez drops by the ABS-CBN Newsroom.
——————————
“Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.”
~ Marilyn vos Savant

Survey Says
Neck-and-neck ang labanan. Kung dalawa na lang ang maglalaban sa pagka-bise presidente, sino ang iboboto mo?
Jejomar BINAY 28%
Mar ROXAS 48%
Wala! Ayoko sa kanilang dalawa! 24%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

THE NOYNOY SHOW

As I have said before, there are only two genuine opposition groups in the country today: the Communists, and ABS-CBN.

Let’s face it.

noynoy_23 ABS-CBN is perceived to be pro-Noynoy Aquino, and the public expects it to go all out for Noynoy and Mar in 2010 [despite Beaver Lopez’s dad-in-law’s shameless (as the Inquirer put it) bid to reclaim Malacañang.]

If rumors are to be believed, network bosses plan to reformat ABS-CBN’s UHF channel: Studio 23 so it could implement a new program schedule in support of the candidacy of Tita Cory’s unico hijo.

Here’s a peek at the proposed programming:

Studio 23’s Primetime TV Guide

Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays
7:00 – eX, eX, eX (ni Korina, ni Bernadette, at ni Barbara)

8:00Zaijan Jaranilla as the young Noynoy in “May Bu…hok Pa”

9:00 – “My Sister Kris: Girl Behaving Badly”

10:00 – “Extreme Makeover: Noynoy Aquino Edition”

11:00 – “I’m A (Reluctant) Celebrity (Candidate), Get Me Out of Here!”

Tuesdays and Thursdays
7:30 – “TV Patrol Tarlac”

8:30 – “SNN: Showbiz Na si Noynoy!”

9:30 – “Kris Says the Darndest Things”

10:30 – “Beauty & the Geek: The Love Story of Shalani and Noynoy”

11:30 – “Sex and the Sissy”

Saturdays and Sundays
7:00 – “Hagupit ni Noynoy: Special Coverage of the Forthcoming Presidential Surveys”

8:00 – “Katorse” (Ang Bilang ng Patay sa Madugong Dispersal sa Hacienda Luisita noong 2004): Noynoy’s Take

9:30So You Think You Can Run

10:00 – “PBB: Pinky’s Bachelor Brother”

11:00“Two and a Half Men” (The Joshua and Baby James Show)

Note: Program schedule is subject to change without prior notice to the Liberal Party and the civil society.

For comments and suggestions please visit,
http://www.studio23lovesnoynoyandfamily.com or type NOYNOY (space) Your Comment (space) Your Spiritual Adviser’s Comment (space) Your Best Friend’s Comment (space) Your Sisters’ Comment (space) Your Girlfriend’s Comment (space) Your Favorite Nephew’s Comment (space) God’s Comment (space) Your name (space) Your Signature (space) and send it to 2366 after your three-day retreat.

__________
“Good advertising does not just circulate information. It penetrates the public mind with desires and belief.”
~Leo Burnett

KABAYAN

noli_dc De Castro and the Palace
Did you hear the news? Malacañang has given Vice President Noli De Castro a deadline to join Lakas-CMD-Kampi. Kabayan vowed to make a final decision after Manny Villar has made a final offer.

Top 10 Questions Vice President Noli De Castro Should Ask Himself Before Accepting the Invitation of Malacañang to Join the Administration Party

No. 10: Deadline? Eh sino bang 1 percent lang sa survey, ako o si Gibo?

No. 9: Am I this desperate to become president?

No. 8: Since my home studio, ABS-CBN is expected to back Noynoy Aquino, who will then support me – NBN 4?!?

No. 7: Is my future running mate, Ronnie Puno – capable of pulling off another “Sulo Hotel Operation” to secure our party’s victory?

No. 6: If yes, why am I tempted to allow it?

No. 5: Can Lakas CMD-Kampi match the multimillion-peso offer of my Wednesday Club buddy Manny Villar?

No. 4: Teka, saan ko na nga ba inilagay ‘yong tseke?

No. 3: If I would be drafted as Lakas Party’s standard bearer and ANC invites me to a series of presidential debate (to be moderated by UP professor Cheche Lazaro in English), can I just send someone on my behalf?

No. 2: How prepared am I to lose?

And the No.1 question Vice President Noli De Castro should ask himself before accepting the invitation of Malacañang to join the administration party…

Saan ako pupulutin pagkatapos ng halalan sa 2010?

Briefly Noted
Apparently, Manila Standard Today gossip columnist Victor Agustin a.ka. “Philippine Daily Inquirer’s pain in the ass” is misinformed. That post about the ex-Future First Lady was not written as a “chain mail” as he just claimed. People who read the post just started re-posting and circulating the article. Aba! Malay ko bang pati mga taga-Asian Development Bank eh nakiisa na rin pala sa pagpapakalat ng artikulo. Here’s Mr. Agustin’s gossip item on that blog post.

__________
“There’s nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot.”
~Scott Adam

DANNY

Daniel Smith is Free
The Court of Appeals (CA) has acquitted Lance Corporal Daniel Smith of raping “Nicole.” In reversing the lower court’s decision, the appeals court stated: “What we see was the unfolding of a spontaneous, unplanned romantic episode with both parties carried away by their passions and stirred up by the urgency of the moment.” Or as “kanto” boys would say, “libog lang ‘yan.”

daniel_smith Daniel Smith has been acquitted by the Court of Appeals. CA justices believe that Smith must be released right away because he’s innocent, he has to start a new life, and he needs to lose some pounds.

In its decision, the Court of Appeals described as “deceptive posturing” the portrayal of Nicole as “a demure provinciana lass.” If it’s any consolation, only Nicole’s lawyer believed her.

Acquitted of rape by the Court of Appeals, Lance Corporal Daniel Smith is reportedly on his way back to the US. When Suzette “Nicole” Nicolas heard this, she said, “Naku teka, kailangang magpa-parlor.”

mar Did you see Sen. Mar Roxas’ reaction on TV when he heard the news that Daniel Smith immediately left the country after being acquitted by the CA? Roxas said, “Mismong sa sariling bansa natin ay binabastos tayo.” Wait a minute. Did he really say that? Does he even know how we feel whenever his “padyak” political ad is shown tv? ‘Yon ang paulit-ulit na pambabastos!

failon3 ABS-CBN Slammed
Media critics slammed ABS-CBN News for its biased and “over the top” coverage of the Trinidad Etong-Ted Failon case. But ABS-CBN President Charo Santos-Concio immediately apologized, and vowed, “Sa Maala-ala Mo Kaya episode namin next week, gagawin naming homicidal summa cum laude graduate si Ted. At ‘yong mga pulis naman, good people na. Promise.”

________
“Justice is always violent to the party offending, for every man is innocent in his own eyes.”
~Daniel Defoe

FASHION VICTIM

boyet_f The Boyet Fajardo Story
By now, you must be all familiar with Angelino “Boyet” Fajardo. But in case you’re not… let me tell you who he is. Boyet Fajardo is the week’s second most unpopular newsmaker – next only to Manny Pacquiao.

The Boyet Fajardo Story II
Boyet Fajardo, the fashion designer who humiliated two Duty Free employees by shouting invectives & expletives at them has apologized. But Fajardo insisted – hurling invectives and expletives at the employees was actually an idea of ABS-CBN lawyers.

Did you hear the news? Boyet Fajardo has apologized to the employees of Duty Free Philippines. GMA 7 is now offering him a TV show.

boyet_f2 The Boyet Fajardo Story III
Controversial fashion designer Boyet Fajardo has apologized. Asked why it took him 12 days to say sorry, he replied, “Heller! Pasalamat nga kayo at nag-apologize pa ako! Si Jalosjos nga, 13 years na ‘di pa nag-so-sorry ‘noh!”

Embattled fashion designer Boyet Fajardo has apologized for humiliating Duty Free Philippines employees last March 13. Asked why it took him 12 days to say sorry when he could have done it after two or three days, Fajardo replied, “Two days??? Who do you think I am? Pacquiao?!?”

The Boyet Fajardo Story IV boyet_f5
The employees union of Duty Free Philippines has filed a complaint before the Commission on Human Rights against designer Angelino “Boyet” Fajardo for his outburst inside the store’s outlet in Parañaque City last March 13. Trembling with fear and thinking of the worst scenario, Fajardo has started conceptualizing clothes designs – for inmates.

The Boyet Fajardo Story V
Fashion designer Boyet Fajardo, who humiliated two Duty Free employees has issued a public apology. But his lawyer insisted that the incident was just a “product of creative outburst.” Therefore I conclude, the lawyer is more gay than the client.

boyet_f3 The Boyet Fajardo Story VI
Did you know that Boyet Fajardo’s’ “creative outburst” at a Duty Free Philippines outlet in Parañaque City dragged on for nearly four hours? To give you an idea how long the “outburst” was, before Fajardo could even finish his “scene,” Manny Pacquiao has already signed three different contracts with two different networks!

Boyet Fajardo’s “creative outburst” at a Duty Free Philippines outlet in Parañaque City dragged on for several hours. To give you an idea how unusually long it was, “Nicole” was still a Filipina “rape victim” when it started. By the time Fajardo was done, “Nicole” was already an American bride.

The Boyet Fajardo Story VII
Duty Free Philippines rejected the apology of Boyet Fajardo. Embarrassed, the fashion designer will just apologize to Solar Sports and GMA 7.

This just in! The Professional Heckler has just received a call from Boyet Fajardo. The infamous fashion designer clarified that he was not a product of Ateneo. He’s actually a graduate of UST.

Kata-Quote!
“Mga leche kayo! Hindi n’yo ako kilala? Ako si Boyet Fajardo! At itong put*ng-inang babaeng ito at ang baklang ito ay mga walang kuwentang tao! I want them fired!”
~ Fashion designer Boyet Fajardo’s reaction when, – after presenting an unsigned credit card at the cashier – two Duty Free employees asked for another ID

ganewses In Other News…
President Arroyo said that 41,000 people in the Philippines have lost their jobs due to the global recession. The economy is so bad Boyet Fajardo’s boutiques have zero customers for three days now.

parad Searching for Parad
Aldaber Parad is reportedly wounded. You don’t know Aldaber Parad? Mga leche kayo! Hindi n’yo siya kilala? Si Aldaber Parad ang bagong lider ng Abu Sayyaf! At ‘yang mga put*ng inang supporters ng Abu Sayyaf at ng mga teroristang bumihag sa Red Cross volunteers ay mga walang kwentang tao! I want them fired (at)!

reccross Abu Sayyaf abductors of three International Committee of the Red Cross members gave authorities until Saturday, March 28, to order the pullout of all government forces in Sulu. Otherwise, they’ll either behead one of the hostages or worse, they’ll be compelled to make “sumbong” to Dick Gordon.

Abu Sayyaf leader Aldaber Parad appealed to fellow Muslims not to condemn their decision to kidnap three Red Cross volunteers. Parad explained that the incident was just a product of their “terroristic outburst.”

WB Road Projects Mess
The Office of the Ombudsman recommended the filing of charges against 17 past and present DPWH officials in connection with the World Bank-funded projects mess. The First Gentleman was not included in the rap sheet but the Ombudsman insisted that some members of the investigating body wanted to actually charge him. Asked how many members went against the First Gentleman, the Ombudsman answered, “Five percent.”

Another Recognition for Pacquiao
Manny Pacquiao has been voted fighter of the year by the Boxing Writers Association of America. The group recognized Pacquiao for successfully fighting Solar Sports and GMA 7 resulting in his winning a contract with ABS-CBN, and then successfully fighting against ABS-CBN and winning back Solar Sports and GMA 7.

__________
“Bullies are always cowards at heart and may be credited with a pretty safe instinct in scenting their prey.”
~ Anna Julia Cooper

NO DEAL

amonged Panlilio for President?
Pampanga governor Ed Panlilio’s supporters want him to run for president in 2010. Rumors say Panlilio is willing to accept the challenge if and only if every city and municipality in the country would open a quarry site.

Panlilio for President? II
Pampanga governor Ed Panlilio says he won’t leave the priesthood even if he runs for president. But that’s okay. After all, a number of our senators and congressmen didn’t leave the circus when they ran for Congress.


“Alabang Boys” Case
Justice Secretary Raul Gonzalez has ordered the filing of charges against high-profile suspected drug dealers Richard Brodett, Jorge Joseph and Joseph Tecson otherwise known as the “Alabang Boys.” State prosecutor John Resado felt so guilty he decided to just return the 1.6 million pesos to the boys’ relatives.

“Alabang Boys” Case II
After more than six months, Justice Secretary Raul Gonzalez has finally ordered the filing of charges against the Alabang Boys. When the news came out, Embassy Super Club co-owner Tim Yap received several text messages that read, “We’re sorry for your loss.”

jaloss1 Jalosjos Goes Malling
A couple of days after his release from prison, convicted rapist and former Zamboanga Del Norte congressman Romeo Jalosjos went to the mall. He spent an hour shopping, an hour eating, two hours at the movies, and half a day “strolling” at Toy Kingdom’s Barbie and Bratz dolls section.

pacman Pacquiao Backtracks
A day after insisting that his May 2 fight will be shown on ABS-CBN, Manny Pacquiao backtracked and decided to honor his legally binding contract with Solar Sports. In a period of only four days, Pacquiao became Kapuso, Kapamilya, and Katawa-tawa.

dyanc ABS-CBN’s celebration was cut short when Manny Pacquiao decided to honor his contract with Solar Sports. Because of this development, ABS-CBN will no longer give a bonus to Dyan Castillejo.

Inquirer columnist Beth Celis said a lady brokered the aborted deal between Manny Pacquiao and ABS-CBN. Did I say ABS-CBN is no longer giving Dyan Castillejo a bonus?

In a press conference yesterday, Manny Pacquiao revealed that the statement he read during an ABS-CBN newscast insisting that his fight would be shown on the Kapamilya channel was actually prepared by representatives of the network. Sources say the prepared statement was actually drafted by the writers of “Maalaala Mo Kaya.”

Did you see Dyan Castillejo’s futile attempt to get a statement from Manny Pacquiao outside his training camp in Los Angeles? Geez, the rumor must be true after all! Dyan will replace Nicolette Sheridan in “Desperate Housewives.”

This Just In! Sketchy reports say Manny Pacquiao will not be wearing shoes when he fights Ricky Hatton on May 2! You know what he’s going to wear? Flip-flops.

_________
“Lack of loyalty is one of the major causes of failure in every walk of life.”
~Napoleon Hill

BAD

mikea1 The First Gentleman
First Gentleman Jose Miguel Arroyo finally broke his silence on his alleged involvement in the World Bank road projects controversy. In an exclusive chance interview with GMA News, Attorney Arroyo said, “Of course not. It’s not true. Hearsay lang ‘yan.” Again, that was Mr. Arroyo speaking… not Miriam Defensor-Santiago, not Juan Ponce Enrile, not Joker Arroyo. Mabuti na’ng malinaw.

In a chance interview with GMA 7’s Joseph Morong outside the St. Luke’s Medical Center, First Gentleman Jose Miguel Arroyo categorically denied his alleged involvement in the World Bank-funded road projects controversy. The reporter tried to obtain more info from Attorney Arroyo but his doctors had to intervene because every time the First Gentleman talks, his blood pressure shoots up, his skin turns pale, and his nose grows a centimeter longer.

GMA News was able to interview First Gentleman Jose Miguel Arroyo on his alleged involvement in the World Bank road projects mess. Attorney Arroyo admitted that he knew Eduardo De Luna of the blacklisted E.C. Construction Corporation. When the reporter asked how much he knew the guy, he replied, “Five percent.”

According to his lawyer Ruy Rondain, he is not sure whether First Gentleman Jose Miguel Arroyo’s doctors would allow him to attend the Senate hearing, but explained that Attorney Arroyo could play golf “because this is not stressful” – unless of course he overtakes the Pangandamans in the fairway.

GMA News was able to interview First Gentleman Jose Miguel Arroyo outside the St. Luke’s Medical Center yesterday. With all the allegations being hurled against him, Attorney Arroyo admitted that he was angry… but not as angry as ABS-CBN News boss Maria Ressa who refused to accept her reporter’s excuse why GMA 7 outscooped them.

gmadavos The Economy Is So Bad…
You’ve probably heard this. Electronics company Amkor Technology Inc. has laid off 1,500 workers from its two plants in Muntinlupa and Sta. Rosa. Also last week, Fujitsu Philippines confirmed it would lay off hundreds of workers from its disk manufacturing plants in Laguna and Batangas. The economy is so bad FedEx has closed its facility in Subic; Intel has closed its factory in Cavite, and Barack Obama has closed his doors on GMA.

The economy is so bad First Gentleman Mike Arroyo has agreed to lower his commission to 3 percent.

yusoph121 The economy is so bad newly-appointed Comelec commissioner Atty. Elias Yusoph cannot even buy a razor to shave.

The economy is so bad Celso De Los Angeles is now selling his soul to the devil just to settle his obligations.

The economy is so bad the devil declined due to bankruptcy.

The economy is so bad other DOJ prosecutors have started their own lending businesses.

alabang_boys3 The economy is so bad the Alabang Boys have switched from Ecstasy to Biogesic.

The economy is so bad Sen. Lito Lapid is riding a horse to the Senate.

The economy is so bad ABS-CBN cannot even send a reporter to St. Luke’s Hospital to interview Attorney Mike Arroyo.

The economy is so bad GMA 7 has to “steal” a song from Gary Granada.

The economy is so bad TV5’s resigned executive Christopher Sy actually earned thrice more than his network did last year.

below2 FedEx’s facility has closed. Intel’s facility has closed. The economy is so damn bad not even another surgery could stop Vicki Belo’s left eye from closing.

On second thought, the economy may not be that bad at all… because from being a “palengke person,” Mar Roxas is now a pharmacist.

legacy-2 The Legacy Group
The Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas branded the Legacy Group of Companies owned by Celso de los Angeles as an organized syndicate, probably the second largest of its kind… next only to Philippine Congress.
_________

“Denial. It’s not just a river in Egypt. It’s a freakin’ ocean.”
~Dr. Meredith Grey, Grey’s Anatomy

MEN OF SUBSTANCE

marcelino
Major Ferdinand Marcelino, an anti-narcotics agent of the Philippine Drug Enforcement Agency confirmed that he was offered P3 million by a former classmate at the Philippine Military Academy in exchange for not filing a case against Richard Brodett, Joseph Tecson, and Jorge Joseph a.k.a. “Alabang Boys.” He also told the House committee on dangerous drugs that DOJ prosecutors who dismissed the case against the three might have been bribed. A number of people who heard Major Marcelino’s testimony described him as brave, credible, and dead.

610x Major Ferdinand Marcelino claimed that his PMA classmate offered him “tatlong manok” or P3 million pesos for the PDEA not to file a case against Brodett, Tecson, and Joseph but said that he turned down the offer. On December 2 however, a resolution, signed by Chief State Prosecutor Jovencito Zuño, ordered the release of the three suspects. I wonder how many chickens did Zuño receive during the Holiday Season.

felis Also revealed yesterday: Attorney Felisberto Verano, lawyer for the Alabang Boys was the one who prepared the order for the release of his three clients using the letterhead of the Department of Justice for the signature of the justice secretary two days before Christmas. Justice Sec. Raul Gonzales vehemently denied culpability and told his critics, “If you wouldn’t believe me, then eat live chicken and jump into a chicken coop!”

Report #1: Muntinlupa City Mayor Aldrin San Pedro appealed to the Philippine Drug Enforcement Agency (PDEA) and the media not to call Brodett, Tecson and Joseph “Alabang Boys” because the tag gives a negative impression on the Alabang community. Report #2: PDEA has confirmed that the three guys peddled drugs at the infamous Embassy Super Club co-owned by the equally infamous party animal Tim Yap at The Fort. Unconfirmed Report #3: Heeding the request of Mayor San Pedro, PDEA will now refer to the suspected Embassy suppliers as “drug envoys.”

Brodett, Tecson, and Joseph – the so-called “Alabang Boys” were arrested on September 20 for carrying cocaine, marijuana, and 60 tablets of Ecstasy… to which Borgy Manotoc and Tim Yap allegedly said, “Para ‘yon lang inaresto na?”

anton1 Anthony Brodett, first cousin of suspect Richard, and Anthony’s father Dave told the House committee on dangerous drugs that Richard was indeed a user and a pusher. Anthony testified, “Nagbebenta po talaga si Richard Brodett. Yes, pusher. Mismong yung nanay niya alam po. Pinaakyat pa ng nanay niya iyan sa Sagada para kumuha ng marijuana.” Sought for a reaction, suspect Richard’s mom said, “Wow ‘tol… bigat ng allegation pare. Sobrang heavy ng feeling na ma-accuse kami bro. OA sa hirit ang cuzins namin dude! Peace out man!”

Since the Philippine Star broke out the story on December 23, everybody has been talking about the “Alabang Boys” – suspected high-end drug dealers from the gated village of Alabang. They are so controversial some people now consider them as celebrities. In fact, one TV show is reportedly interested in having these alleged drug users/dealers as regular guests. Which show? Walaaaang Tulugan!

Of course, if there’s GMA 7, there’s ABS-CBN. According to rumors, the Kapamilya network has invited the so-called “Alabang Boys” to appear in the special narcotics episode of the show… “Deal or No Deal.”

Quote of the Weak jorge
“My son is a social user but not an addict. It’s no big deal.”
~ Radio announcer Johnny Joseph a.k.a. Johnny Midnight father of Jorge Joseph, one of the “Alabang Boys”

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Every man has his price.
~Sir Robert Walpole