BURN!

22 02 2016

AVID SUPPORTERS and defenders of Manny Pacquiao scored the media for uploading a shorter version of his controversial “Masahol pa sa hayop” interview. The shorter version, they claim, made it appear that Pacquiao was completely ignorant and bigot – compared to the longer version which showed that Pacquiao was completely ignorant and bigot.

1Nike
Torched
Members of a Born Again Christian group in Cebu City torched a pile of Nike shoes in protest of Nike’s decision to drop Manny Pacquiao as endorser. When sought for reaction, Nike said, “We’re really busy right now. But we promise to ignore them some other time. Thank you.”

Reports say a pastor led the burning of a pile of Nike shoes in protest of Nike’s decision to sever ties with Manny Pacquiao. This latest development has saddened local Nike employees, LGBT groups, and Brian Poe Llamanzares.

1LynRillonINQ
Presidential Debate
The first presidential debate was held Sunday in Cagayan De Oro City. The five candidates were in their usual element: Mayor Duterte was straightforward; Senator Miriam was still articulate [‘though she looked fragile and her voice was shaking]; Mar Roxas started aggressive and ended dramatic, while  Grace Poe was calm and composed. As expected, Vice President Binay trumpeted his accomplishments in Makati. Nothing more. I’m not sure why some people are saying he stole the show.

Goals
In the closing statement, the candidates were asked, “Why should you be the next president of the Philippines?” This was a randomly selected question sent online – incidentally by two different persons: Miss Universe Organization’s Paula Shugart and Miss World Chair Julia Morley.

Some debate questions were picked from a bowl, and like the Miss Universe 2015 pageant, PiliPinas Debates 2016 was hosted by a comedian, Mike Enriquez.

Emotional
An emotional Mar Roxas said he wanted to be president, “Dahil gusto kong maging ganito rin ang buhay n’yo: Malaya sa gutom, malaya sa takot, malayang mangarap.” And then it became awkward when somebody shouted, “Cut! Isa pa! Take 2 tayo.”

1PDInquirer
Deadline
Mayor Duterte vowed to “get rid of drugs, suppress crime, and stop corruption in government in a matter of three to six months.” Or as that’s also called, “magic.”

Underspending
In his closing statement, Vice President Binay said, “Tigilan na po natin ‘yang underspending!” I’m not an expert on budgeting but when it comes to spending taxpayers’ money, I find it hard to trust the man who gave us the Makati City Hall  parking building.

Unanswered Question
Asked why he should be the next president of the Philippines, Vice President Binay said, “Tigilan na ang underspending.” He didn’t answer the question directly, and eventually wound up as 4th Runner-up.

Loser
Sen. Alan Peter Cayetano said the debate’s biggest loser was Vice President Binay. While the biggest winner was GMA-7 Sales Department.

In Other News…
According to a recent survey, the first thing that Filipinos do after waking up in the morning is to check their cellphones. The second thing is to complain about something.
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“Avoid and ignore the idiots who try to bring you down in life; they are not worth your time.”
~Ken Poirot

Sound Bites
“Nag-aantay akong mamatay. Eh hindi ako pinatay ng guardian angel ko eh. I’m only 70 years old plus six-year term as president, I would have served my country. I did not want to spend the next six years lying in bed feeling sorry for myself. In fact, I didn’t lie in bed. I didn’t want to feel sorry for myself. I felt sorry for my country because graft and corruption is endemic.”
~Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago, #PilipinasDebates2016

“Nang tanungin s’ya sa debate kung paano niya nakuha ang kanyang lupa, ang sabi n’ya minana daw niya ito, mula sa kanyang nanay at tatay. Pero kung matatandaan natin, sa kanyang patalastas, sinabi ni Binay na namatay ang kanyang nanay na wala silang perang pampaospital. May lupa pala ang nanay niya. Hindi man lang nila ito isinanla o ibenta para maipagamot ang kanyang nanay?”
~Alan Peter Cayetano on Vice President Binay

#TeamNoToThieves2016

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: Manny Pacquiao: ; Pilipinas Debates 2016: Lyn Rillon and Inquirer.net]





EXCLUSIVE: MANNY PACQUIAO WITHDRAWS CANDIDACY

17 02 2016

JUST MINUTES after Boy Abunda’s impassioned speech denouncing Manny Pacquiao’s anti-LGBT statement, the senatorial candidate sought an audience with the King of Talk. Here’s the full, unedited online-exclusive conversation between Boy and Pacquiao.

1MA

Mga kaibigan, hindi po kayo namamalik-mata. Kasama ko ngayon, Manny Pacquiao. Magandang gabi, Manny at maraming salamat sa pagpapaunlak mo sa panayam na ito!

Wala ‘yon Kuya Boy. Sumusunod lang ako sa kagustuhan ni Lord. Sabi kasi sa Luke 6:35, “Love your enemies… expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great… for He Himself is kind to evil men.”

So, sinasabi mo bang evil ako Manny? Masahol sa hayop na, evil pa? Hindi ko naman yata matatanggap ‘yan.

Kuya Boy, hindi ako ang nagsabi niyan. Bible ang nagsabi niyan.

Manny, sabi rin sa Bible, and let me quote Leviticus 20:10, “If a man commits adultery with his neighbor’s wife, both the man and the woman who have committed adultery must be put to death.” Ang tanong ko Manny: Bakit buhay ka pa?

Hindi mo na-gits ang Bible, Kuya Boy. Ang linaw ng sabi ‘di ba: “If a man commits adultery with his neighbor’s wife…” NEIGHBOR’S WIFE daw Kuya Boy. Unang-una, hindi ko neighbor ang naging chicks ko. Pangalawa, single ang mga ‘yon; hindi pa sila wife. So paanong ipu-put to death ako? Common sense lang Kuya Boy. Common sense.

Manny, napanood ko ang iyong apology sa Twitter at Facebook. And allow me to quote you, “Nais ko pong humingi ng paumanhin sa lahat ng nasaktan dahil sa aking pagkumpara sa tao sa hayop. Iyon po ay kamalian ko.” Manny, linawin nga natin. Kamalian mo ito… dahil?

Dahil kahapon ko lang nalaman Kuya Boy na meron palang baklang hayop at meron ding tomboy na hayop. Sobrang shocked ako. ‘Tapos, may nabasa pa ako tungkol sa flatworms. Nagpi-penis fencing daw ang mga bulateng ‘yan. Grabi. At ‘yan ang pagkakamali ko Kuya Boy. Baligtad ang sinabi ko sa interview. Dapat pala: mas masahol pa sila sa tao. Kinilabutan talaga ako. Ipagpi-pray ko na lang sila Kuya Boy.

Manny, reaksyon lang sa mga kumento ng ilang taga-industriya. Direk Joey Reyes indirectly described you as a “celebrated bigot.”

Ok lang.

Hindi ka nasasaktan kapag tinatawag kang bigot?

Hindi.

Really?! Hindi ka nasasaktan at all?

Hindi ko naman alam ang bigot. Hihi What you don’t know won’t hurt you. Uy Ingles. Hihi

Ang sabi ni Vice Ganda… “Ang pagpatol sa parehong kasarian ay masahol pa sa hayop??? Eh ang pakikiapid habang ika’y may asawa, anong kababuyan ‘to? Pakisagot Manny!”

Sinagot ko na ‘yan kanina Kuya Boy. Parurusahan ka lang ni Lord kung makikiapid ka sa “neighbor’s wife.” Kung hindi mo pa rin gits Vice Ganda, ipagpi-pray na lang kita. Pero sige, hinahamon kita, magpakita ka ng pruwiba. Nasaan ang kapitbahay na pinatulan ko? NASAAN?!? Nagbibintang ka. Matakot ka naman sa Diyos. “You shall not spread a false report.” Exodus 23:1

May mas matindi pang sinabi si Vice. Ang ginamit niyang term: false prophet.

Nakakalungkot Kuya Boy dahil pinaghirapan kong lahat ang laban ko, ang yaman ko, ang mga investments ko. Hindi ako nagnakaw. Kung anuman ang tinubo ko sa negosyo, true lahat ‘yon. Anong false ang ipinagkakalat niya? Konting common sense naman.

Manny, si Aiza Seguerra nag-tweet din. Just so you know, Aiza is married to Liza Diño, at sabi niya, you are an “ignorant, bigoted hypocrite.”

Pasinsya na Kuya Boy pero kukuntrahin ko ang dalawang sinabi niya. Hindi ako ignorante at hindi rin ako hypocrite. Pero aaminin ko: ilang araw na akong hindi nag-aahit kaya bigoted ako. May point naman siya dun kahit papa’no.

Nagsalita na ang iyong kandidato sa pagkapangulo, si Vice President Binay. He said entitled ka raw sa opinion mo.

Una, pasalamat ako kay VP Binay sa support niya. Hindi ako nagkamali ng piniling kandidato sa pagka-prisidinti. Pangalawa, iisipin ko pa. Isa na lang muna. Kailangan ba ngayon na?

Ano ang masasabi mo sa alegasyon ng pagnanakaw, kurapsyon at pandarambong na ibinabato laban kay VP?

Katulad din ‘yan ng sagot ko sa pakikiapid Kuya Boy. Leviticus 19:13, “Do not defraud or rob your neighbor.” Kapitbahay ba ni VP ang sinasabing ninakawan niya? Hindi naman ‘di ba? City hall ‘yon. Hindi naman siya nakatira sa tabi ng city hall kaya hindi ‘yon neighbor. Sa madaling salita, walang kasalanan si VP. Common sense lang Kuya Boy. Common sense.

Noong isang araw, usap-usapan din sa social media ang anak ni Sen. Grace Poe na si Brian dahil nag-post ito ng picture ng sapatos na nabili niya for 10,000 pesos. Unethical daw ito sabi ng ilang kritiko. Bilang preacher, ano ba ang sinasabi ng Bible tungkol dito?

Huwag na nating idamay ang Bible Kuya Boy. Common sense lang. Nakakita ka na ba ng hayop na nagsuot ng mamahaling sapatos? Hindi pa ‘di ba? In short, ‘yang anak ni Grace Poe ay masahol pa sa hayop.

Sa latest senatorial survey, pasok ka sa Magic 12 which means posibleng manalo ka sa eleksyon. My question is: What have we done as a nation to deserve this?

Sa totoo lang Kuya Boy hindi ko rin inexpect na papasok ako sa Magic 12. Unang-una, hindi naman ako naniniwala sa magic. “….for whoever does these things is an abomination to the Lord.” Deuteronomy 18:10-12. Pangalawa, ano nga ulit ‘yong tanong mo?

Ibang tanong na lang Manny. Hypothetical lang, kung isa sa mga anak mong lalaki ay maging homosekswal at magkagusto sila sa kapwa lalaki, paano mo ito haharapin?

Alam mo Kuya Boy, ‘yan din ang nagtulak para magpa-interview ako sa ‘yo. Gusto kong dito i-announce ang isang napakahalagang bagay.

May bakla sa mga anak mo Manny?!? Sino sa kanila? Si Michael na kamukha mo? Si Jimuel na kamukha ni Jinkee? Syet, huwag mong sabihing si Israel!?!

Bakit ko naman i-a-announce na bakla ang anak ko? Common sense naman Kuya Boy.

So ano nga ang announcement mo?

Kung pwede Kuya Boy, haharap na ako sa camera…

Go!

Sa mga minamahal kong kababayan,

Unang-una, ‘pasalamat ako sa Panginoon dahil binigyan niya ako ng lakas ng loob na gawin ito ngayon. Pangalawa, ‘pasalamat ako sa pamilya ko, sa mga kapartido ko, kay VP Binay at sa lahat ng supporters ko.

Narito ako ngayon para i-announce na aatras na po ako sa pagtakbo sa pagka-senador. Alam kong marami sa inyo ang malulungkot sa desisyon kong ito pero dapat ko itong gawin para sa aking mga anak na lalaki.

Napagpasyahan ko pong ilaan na lang ang oras ko sa kanila. Habang ako ay malakas pa, iti-train ko sila sa pagboboksing at iba pang contact sports para matiyak na hindi sila magiging bakla. Bakit ‘ka n’yo? Dahil malinaw po ang nakasulat sa Leviticus 20:13.

“If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them.”

Sinusunod ko lang po ang utos ni Lord kaya ngayon pa lang ay gagawa na ako ng paraan para maiiwas sa malaking kasalanan sina Michael, Jimuel at maging si Israel.

“… neither effeminate, nor homosexuals… shall inherit the kingdom of God.” 1 Corinthians 6:9-10

Sana po ay maunawaan n’yo ang aking desisyon. May mga anak din kayong lalaki at babae. Gusto n’yo ba silang lumaking sumisiping sa kapwa nila lalaki o kapwa babae? Common sense lang. Common sense.

Maraming salamat po and God bless you all.

THANK YOU MANNY. Magbabalik ang Tonight With Boy Abunda.
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“There is nothing more frightful than ignorance in action.”
― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, Collected Works

Sound Bites
“Common sense lang. Makakakita ka ba ng any animals na lalaki sa lalaki, babae sa babae? Mas mabuti pa yung hayop. Marunong kumilala kung lalaki, lalaki, o babae, babae. Kung lalaki sa lalaki, babae sa babae, eh mas masahol pa sa hayop ang tao.”
~Manny Pacquiao

Relationships
Manny Pacquiao shuns same sex unions. He believes that relationships must only be between a man and a woman. And another woman. And another woman. And another woman.

Love. Love. Love.

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: MP/BA: Inquirer.net; Pacquiao/Binay: Tempo]





CIRCUMCISION, MICROBES, AND OTHER STORIES

13 02 2016

1DDR
Sick?
Last Thursday, Mayor Rodrigo Duterte was forced to cancel a speaking engagement. Reports say a respiratory infection triggered a headache, nausea and vomiting – the same symptoms experienced by people who repeatedly watched videos of him locking lips with his female supporters.

Dare
When asked if he was willing to release his medical records to the public, Mayor Duterte said, “I will release them if Mar Roxas will show he is circumcised.” To which, Korina Sanchez replied, “Sus! Maliit na bagay.”

Dare II
Mayor Duterte says he will make public his medical records if Mar Roxas will show he is circumcised. The Roxas camp described this latest tirade as “below the belt.”

1BBM
Gimmick
Vice presidential candidate Bongbong Marcos recently launched an online gimmick called “Bongbong Into My Heart” – in which a lucky netizen stands a chance to win an exclusive lunch date with him. Apparently, Bongbong got his inspiration from Mayor Duterte’s own much talked-about gimmick called “Digong On Your Lips.”

Sacrifice
Lent officially started last Wednesday. It’s the time of the year when Christians usually give up something as a form of sacrifice like a favorite food, hobby or a habit. Grace Poe will never forget Lent of 2001. That year, she gave up being a Filipino.

Kissing
Scientists say there are 80 million microbes in a kiss but most are harmless and actually protect us from infections. Mayor Duterte calls it “a vindication of sorts.”

1D30
Breakthrough
Scientists have found proof of gravitational waves from two black holes that collided some 1.3 billion years ago. Filipinos would have been more impressed if scientists could help locate Ebeng Baloloy and Gerry Limlingan.

Premature Cam
Senatorial aspirant Sandra Cam is furious at Alan Peter Cayetano. Cam said Cayetano barred her from speaking at Mayor Duterte’s proclamation rally in Tondo, Manila. Preventing Cam from speaking was totally unfair because the crowd was deprived of the chance to ignore her.

Banned
PBA import Ivan Johnson of Tropang TNT has been banned from the PBA and was slapped with P250,000 fine for cursing league officials. The cursing import has since left Manila and relocated to a city deemed friendlier to him – Davao.

Forever
According to a recent Social Weather Stations study, 73 percent of adult Filipinos believe in ‘forever.’ To the remaining 27 percent… ‘wag nang bitter. Move on na please.
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“Denial is a useful defense mechanism until it’s not.”
~Rosalind Kaplan

Sound Bites
“I am well. Do not worry about my health. Worry about yourselves so you can vote for me.”
~Mayor Rodrigo Duterte

“May nagsabi pa nga, ‘ano ba naman ang experience ni Senator Grace Poe, teacher lang ‘yan.’ Totoo, kulang ako sa karanasan sa pagnanakaw at pangungurakot.”
~Sen. Grace Poe

Happy Valentine’s Day!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: Duterte: ABSCBN News Screengrab; Bongbong Marcos Twitter; Gravitational Waves: Extreme Tech.com]





FIFTY-SIX

8 02 2016

1NA
ON FEBRUARY 8, President Aquino turned 56 years old. The President is feeling a bit awful; he’s already 56 – and still single. Worse, he can’t blame this on the previous administration.

Since it’s his birthday, here are…

15 Little-Known Factoids About the President

1: He was born with a complete set of teeth but not a strand of hair.

2: His first words were “not,” “my,” and “fault.”

3: Unknown to many, Noynoy and Pinky (Aquino-Abelleda) are fraternal twins. In an extremely rare case that baffled the medical community in the late 1950s, Pinky was born three years ahead of her twin, Noynoy.

4: In grade school, Noynoy excelled in Religion and GMRC.

5: Noynoy helped debunk the myth that during sleep, an average person swallows four to eight spiders in his lifetime. As a pre-pubescent boy visiting Hacienda Luisita, Noynoy once swallowed 12 spiders.

6: In Ateneo, Noynoy was the least favorite student of Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo. She was his most hated professor.

7: In a slam book entry in the mid-‘70s, Noynoy defined “love” as “A lonely place to be. And so I learned to depend on me.” The line became the inspiration for the Whitney Houston classic, “(The) Greatest Love of All.”

8: He wears only yellow underwear every day of the week. His favorite is a set of Spongebob boxer-briefs from Bimby.

9: A PBA fan during the ‘90s, Noynoy cheered for the Purefoods Tender Juicy Hotdogs and even approved of his sister Kris’s romance with four-time MVP, Alvin Patrimonio. Until now, Noynoy still refers to Alvin as “bayaw.”

10: Noynoy once rejected an endorsement offer from Svenson.

11: When he was courting Korina Sanchez, it was his good friend, Mar Roxas who helped Noynoy draft the love letters he sent to the broadcaster.

12: A reluctant candidate for president until Election Day itself, Noynoy actually voted for his cousin, Gilbert Teodoro in 2010.

13: He’s a huge fan of Game of Thrones. His favorite character is “anyone in Peter Baelish’s brothel.”

14: In recent private LP gatherings, Noynoy would often mock Jojo Binay by doing an impression of the Vice President while reciting Mar Roxas’s political ad. For example, Noynoy would go something like…

“Ako po si Jojo Binay.
Sabi nila laki ako sa hirap
At meron akong madramang kwento.
Pero hindi ako sisiga-siga.
At hindi-hinding ko kayo nanakawan.
Jooooooke!”

And finally…
15: Noynoy couldn’t remember his first kiss. The girl would rather forget it as well.

Happy birthday and thank you Mr. President!
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“The year you were born marks only your entry into the world. Other years where you prove your worth, they are the ones worth celebrating.”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book Title is Invisible

Sound Bites
“Dito lang ako nakapagbilang ng babaeng nahalikan ko ng lips to lips. ‘Tapos may isang kandidato, sabi niya, ‘Itong si Duterte, napakadumi. Lahat ng mga babae, hinahalikan.’ Bakit, ‘yung hinahalikan mo, ayaw mo ‘yung sakit niya? Kasi madumi siya? Ayaw mong yakapin ke mabaho o may sakit? O bakit gusto mong maging presidente?”
~Mayor Rodrigo Duterte on his “kissing spree”

Have a great week! Kung Hei Fat Choi!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photo: @NoynoyAquino on Twitter]





THE WALKING DEAD

5 02 2016

1SMB
Allies
In the news today: Accused plunderer Juan Ponce Enrile has announced he would campaign for presidential candidate Jojo Binay. In totally unrelated news, social anthropologists have completely debunked the old adage, ‘Ang magnanakaw ay galit sa kapwa magnanakaw.”

Freedom
Sen. Juan Ponce Enrile is confident he’ll be a free man once his trial is over. In fact, the signs are encouraging: he was granted bail; he’s back at the Senate, and Jojo Binay is ahead in the surveys.

Miraculous
Scientists at the Lilly & Putt Laboratories in the Bahamas are reportedly studying the “miraculous” recovery of Sen. Juan Ponce Enrile. The lawmaker appeared to be very sickly while still in detention but sprang back to good health after posting bail. The scientists believe Enrile has a rare case of Sakitsakitanitis palusotium.

Birthday Boy
Senate Minority Leader Juan Ponce Enrile turns 92 on February 14. Yup, he’s already 92 and tireless. With Vice President Binay, Mang Johnny promises to lead UNA to victory in the coming elections. To those asking about the UNA hierarchy , Binay is the chairman of the party while Enrile is the corpse commander.

Addressing questions about his health, Sen. Juan Ponce Enrile said, “Sa mga nag-iisip na sana patay na ako, you will have your wish one day.” To which one shocked Senate reporter said, “You’re still alive?!”

1Makati
Poor
Vice President Binay’s spokesman Joey Salgado says the number of poor Filipinos has increased under the Aquino administration. Salgado made the statement shortly after looking out the window of his posh condo unit and saw the slums of Makati City.

Historic
San Miguel Beer overcome a 0-3 game deficit to clinch the PBA Philippine Cup title against Alaska Milk. Basketball fanatics described the seemingly improbable feat as “SMB coming back from the dead.” Or as political observers would call it, the “Enrile syndrome.”

1BEnrile
SMB Coach Leo Austria says even if you’re in the bottom, do not give up because “Miracles are just around the corner.” His words will likely inspire basketball players, other coaches, and Mar Roxas.

First Ladies
Mayor Rodrigo Duterte says if he becomes president his first wife and his current girlfriend will have separate rooms in Malacañang. Even Joseph Estrada was like, “Gago!”

If he becomes president, Mayor Duterte vows to provide separate rooms for his first wife and his current girlfriend in Malacañang. When sought for a reaction, Mayor Erap said he would never ever do that – mainly because there would be a shortage of rooms.

Taiwan Traffic
The mayor of Taipei City has threatened to sack Department of Transportation Commissioner Chung Hui-yu for her department’s failure to solve the city’s recent traffic problems. Motorists have also called for the resignation of Hui-yu, a senior transportation planner who has a master’s degree from the Jun Abaya School of Management.
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“What is it about the government and its agents and employees that they can lie to us with impunity, but we risk being sent to jail if we lie to them?”
~Andrew P. Napolitano

Sound Bites
“I am for Jojo Binay. I will bet on Binay. Why would I bet on someone who will lose?”
~Juan Ponce Enrile

‘Wag bobo sa Mayo.

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: Enrile; Rappler; Makati slums: Inquirer.Net; SMB: Rappler]





BE LIKE

29 01 2016

YOU’VE SEEN them on Facebook. Those ‘Be like Bill’ memes. Some are worth sharing while some are annoying. Dagdagan pa natin ang pagkairita mo. Be like…

1Binay
1Duterte

1GPL

1Mar

1Abaya

1Noy

1JPE

1GG

1Alma

1INC

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“I want to be the kind of person that kind people like and want to be like.”
~Jarod Kintz

Sound Bites
“Politicians, will you throw away people’s taxes for your parties and shopping, or guard them as gifts for social services? Being in politics means you have earned the trust of people when you were elected. You are given gift of trust, so don’t throw away (that) gift.”
~Manila Archbishop Luis Antonio Cardinal Tagle

Have a great weekend!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.





SUPPORTERS

24 01 2016

13PhilStar
In US politics, Donald Trump’s supporters are now being called “Trumpeters.” In Philippine politics, some supporters of Mayor Duterte are being called “Dutertenatics” while some Binay supporters are denying rumors they are being called “Binayarans.”

On Sunday, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump, boasting about his loyal supporters, said, “I could shoot somebody and not lose votes.” Shocking many Americans, and offending Duterte fanatics who hit Trump for his lack of originality.

Word War
You know it’s election season when politicians begin to diss one another. Mayor Duterte says Mar Roxas is “unfit to become president.” Roxas counters Mayor Duterte is “incompetent.” Jojo Binay says Roxas and Duterte are “just doing great. Keep it up.”

Gigi
For writing about her expensive bag and designer shoes, detained plunder suspect and former Enrile chief of staff Gigi Reyes lashed out at Inquirer reporter Marlon Ramos outside the Sandiganbayan courtroom last week. Unconfirmed reports say an upset Gigi Reyes shouted the reporter’s name – marking the first time a man’s name other than “Johnny!” came out of her mouth.

The End
Jinkee Pacquiao announced that Manny Pacquiao would retire from boxing this year to focus on politics. Boxing’s loss is Senate’s… even bigger loss.

Dismissed
Quezon City Councilor and actor Roderick Paulate has been dismissed from public service for employing 30 fictitious “job order personnel” and pocketing their supposed salary. On Instagram, Paulate described the news as “OA” and “pinalaki lang.” Probably, he had only 27 ghost employees. Or maybe, 25. Or 20. Basta. Pinalaki lang.

12PhilStar
Nabbed
Marine Col. Ferdinand Marcelino, a former PDEA official was arrested along with a Chinese national during a raid on a shabu laboratory in Manila last week. But Marcelino insisted he was at the shabu laboratory because he was doing “intelligence work.” Either that, or he’s insulting our intelligence.

Marine Col. Ferdinand Marcelino, a former official of the Philippine Drug Enforcement Agency, was arrested during a raid on a shabu laboratory in Manila last week. But the Marine colonel said he was at the shabu lab because he was doing “intelligence work.” His captors advised him to “tell that to the marines.”

1CathABSCBN
Cursing
Accused of repeatedly cursing and humiliating a TV drama “extra,” director Cathy Garcia-Molina finally addressed the issue. In an emotional interview exclusively released online, Molina said, “For all those people na nasaktan ko in the past, I apologize. Maybe I was careless in my use of words.” Amid the criticisms, supporters rallied behind the “cursing” director including ABS-CBN talents, workmates, and Mayor Duterte.
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“Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule — and both commonly succeed, and are right.”
~H.L. Mencken

Sound Bites
“Nakakalungkot nga kasi minsan OA ang news. Hindi naman ito malaki; sobrang pinalaki lang ng mga nasa likod nito ang kasinungalingang ito.”
~Dismissed QC Councilor Roderick Paulate

“I admit nagmumura po ako. I admit nagkamali po ako. I never lied. I turned into a monster—with all good intensions na mapaganda ang show.”
~Cathy Garcia-Molina

Be sensitive. Always.

Elsewhere
Editorial: Waiting Game
“Does the expensive bag prove Reyes’ guilt? Of course not. It does, however, raise questions about her wealth, and the means by which she acquired it, right when she stands accused as an alleged principal in conspiring with Enrile and Janet Lim Napoles of skimming some P172 million off the senator’s pork barrel allocations.”

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: Binay/Roxas/Duterte: Philstar.Com; Gigi/Enrile: Philstar.com; Col. Marcelino: Philstar.Com; Cathy Garcia-Molina: ABSCBN YouTube]





BOO!

20 01 2016

1PDI
Booed
Last Sunday, Vice President Binay was reportedly booed after he was introduced by suspended Mayor Michael Rama at the formal opening of the Sinulog Grand Parade in Cebu City. Binay almost stole the show.

Reports say the booing prompted the Vice President to just greet the crowd instead of delivering a prepared speech. His decision to cut it short got the loudest applause.

Platform
In September 2015, Vice President Binay met with Nationalist People’s Coalition leaders and presented his plans for his first 100 days. Last Monday, it was the turn of presidential aspirant Rodrigo Duterte to talk about his platform. He met with NPC leaders and detailed his plans for the first 100 bodies.

1Interaksyon
Guia for Mar
San Juan City Mayor Guia Gomez, partner of former president and Manila Mayor Joseph Estrada has endorsed the presidential bid of Mar Roxas. The five other presidential candidates are not worried though. They can still rely on the support of Estrada’s five other partners.

Revenge
Accused plunderer Sen. Juan Ponce Enrile, who is out on bail, can’t wait for the reopening of the Mamasapano massacre probe. Loyal admin supporters believe Enrile wants President Aquino charged and jailed for his “direct involvement” in the botched operation. Well, it can happen. But not in Enrile’s lifetime.

Separated
Sen. Tito Sotto’s daughter Ciara and her husband of six years Jojo Oconer have reportedly separated. Sotto will not comment on the issue until he has talked to the couple, or at least until he figures out a way to blame this on the RH Law.

1ING
First Time
For the first time in history, a woman has been elected president of Taiwan. Democratic Progressive Party leader Ing-wen Tsai is 59 years old and single. During her free time, she visits her favorite nephews, Bimby Tsai and Joshua Tsai.

Oscars 2016
For the second year in a row, the Academy has exclusively nominated white actors for the show’s top honors. People of color are upset. In protest, some famous celebrities have decided to skip this year’s Oscar Awards including director Spike Lee, Will Smith’s wife Jada Pinkett-Smith and Vice President Binay.

Oldest
On Tuesday, the Internet was abuzz with reports that the world’s oldest man has died. A barrage of text messages and phone calls prompted Senator Enrile to issue a statement he’s still alive.

1SStars
Stars Align
Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn will be visible in the night sky in a rare astronomical alignment starting Friday. Astronomers have advised Anne Curtis and Billy Crawford to temporarily refrain from drinking alcohol, and Claudine Barretto to stay away from airports.
————————————————————————————————————————————-
“Every blade has two edges; he who wounds with one wounds himself with the other.”
~Victor Hugo

Sound Bites
Enrile wants to “hurt” the President “because PNoy put him in a stockade.”
~Sen. Serge Osmena on the reopening of the Mamasapano probe

Elsewhere
Sylvia Estrada Claudio: Magnanakaw sa Senado

“Ang problema ay ubod ng yabang nitong si Senator Sotto. Hindi niya matanggap na tinalo siya ng mga maralita at mga kababaihan. Hindi matanggap ang demokratikong pasya ng karamihan. Kaya’t nagmistulang akyat-bahay gang ang senador. Tulad ng magnanakaw, hinintay niyang natutulog tayo matapos ng mga kasiyahan ng Pasko at Bagong Taon. At habang tayo ay mahimbing na natutulog, ninakaw niya P1 bilyong pinag-ipunan natin.”

Interaksyon
Editorial: Hell to pay

“Blame instead a leadership and council that could have headed off this crisis but that, by some unfathomable complacency, incompetence, negligence to their principals, or all of the above, set everyone up for a sucker punch instead. Even when they’re in the right, they set themselves up for a spectacular fall.”

Love will keep us alive. – Eagles / #RIPGlenFrey

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: Gigi/Enrile: Rappler; Binay: Inquirer.net; Guia Gomez: Interaksyon; Tsai Ing-wen: ATimes.com]





SLAM BOOK: MAYOR DUTERTE

15 01 2016

WE RESUME our SLAM BOOK SERIES with a feature on tough-talking Davao City mayor and presidential aspirant Rodrigo Duterte.

1RD
2RD
3RD
4RD
5RD

Sound Bites
“I was also charged with acts of lasciviousness. But you know the woman was really very, very beautiful that if you do not touch her, you will die. I was just saving my life.”
~Mayor Rodrigo Duterte

‘Tang-ina.

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.





READY TO RUMBLE

12 01 2016

1DL
ON SUNDAY, January 10, the election period officially started. January 10 also marked the start of the 2016 election gun ban mainly to prevent Comelec Chairman Andy Bautista and Commissioner Rowena Guanzon from killing each other.

Campaign Period
Soon, moneyed candidates will visit cities, provinces, even the remotest barangays in the country to woo voters. Officially, it’s called “campaign period.” In the words of the CPP-NPA, it’s “business opportunity.”


Like!
Former Justice Secretary Leila De Lima just came out with probably one of the best political ads this election season. It depicted her tough stance against corruption. In the ad, a huge cage dropped over three shady characters, trapping them. As of Tuesday morning, the ad has been “liked” by 420 people. However, some 890 people have clicked the “dislike” button. And that’s just the members of the Revilla clan.

Dislike!
Former Justice Secretary Leila De Lima’s new TV ad is out. It’s awesome! Posted last Sunday on YouTube, the black and white ad has almost 90,000 views. As of Tuesday morning, 420 people have “liked” it. But more people – almost 900 “disliked” the ad. ‘K, fine! We’re not expecting you to like it anyway, Iglesia ni Cristo!

Furlough
Jinggoy Estrada and Bong Revilla have asked the Sandiganbayan to allow them to attend the wake of TV host German ‘Kuya Germs’ Moreno. To be fair, the two actors, now detained for plunder, are really close to the Master Showman. Also, their political career and Kuya Germs have something in common. Dead.

1DL
Advisory
The Department of Trade and Industry and the Department of Health issued a joint statement saying “hoverboards” are inappropriate for kids 14 years old and below. But the two agencies clarified people who are 15 years old and above may use the popular ride if they don’t mind looking stupid.

Traslacion 2015
Two Black Nazarene devotees reportedly died during this year’s Traslacion. Reports say the fatalities joined the procession to pray for “a better life.” The Black Nazarene granted them “a better place.”

Probe
On Monday, Jan. 11, the House of Representatives conducted a hearing on the alleged irregularities in the recent Metro Manila Film Festival. Because you know, priorities.

1DL
In the hearing, ‘Honor Thy Father’ director, Erik Matti said, “The MMFF is only concerned about money and not in the welfare of the producers, the film workers and the taxpayers who support them each year.” To which, the congressmen replied, “Tell us something we don’t know.”

Personal Concern
In a recent Pulse Asia survey, three in five Filipinos cited “staying healthy” as their top “personal” concern. The other two refused to give up on love.

1DL
Fined
Comedian and frustrated politician Amay Bisaya was fined by the Comelec for his failure to submit his statement of campaign contributions during the May 2013 elections. Which begs the question, who, in his right mind, would contribute to Amay Bisaya’s election campaign?
—————————————————————————————————————————————————-
“I offer my opponents a bargain: if they will stop telling lies about us, I will stop telling the truth about them.”
~Adlai Stevenson

Sound Bites
“I can go anytime. I’m here to help the president. If he tells me I have to go, I’ll go. This position is just a privilege.”
~Embattled DOTC Sec. Jun Abaya

“The people are still not used to disposing of their own trash during the procession.”
~ MMDA General Manager Cora Jimenez on the 367 tons of garbage along the route of this year’s Traslacion

Walang himala.

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: Gun Ban: Inquirer.Net; Hoverboard: Telegraph.UK; MMFF:MMDA; Amay Bisaya: FAP.Org]





SO RICH, SO POOR

8 01 2016

1Binay
Top Spender
According to the Nielsen Advertising Information Service, Vice President Binay is the biggest TV ad spender among the aspirants for president. From January to November 2015, Binay reportedly spent almost 600 million pesos for political ads. Again, that’s 600 million pesos! Or as the Vice President would say, “Maliit na bagay.”

Surge
Despite allegations of corruption, the Vice President’s trust and approval ratings even increased according to the latest survey conducted by Pulse Asia. Two survey questions were asked. One: “Do you still trust the Vice President?” And 2: “If yes, what’s wrong with you?”

Poor
According to the latest Social Weather Stations survey, 50 percent of respondents remain poor. The other half remain in denial.

Poor II
The latest SWS survey showed 50 percent of respondents considered themselves “mahirap” or poor. This, according to Business World, is the lowest in four years. Or as the Manila Times would rather banner, “11.2 million families remain poor.”

Twitter Limit
Twitter plans to allow longer tweets of up to 10,000 characters. The Binays are against the idea.

Reports say Twitter is planning to allow longer tweets of up to 10,000 characters – fueling rumors Twitter is planning to change its name to ‘Facebook.’

Reports say Twitter plans to allow longer tweets of up to 10,000 characters. Manny Pacquiao will soon be tweeting the four Gospels in full.

1Bagatsing
Last
For the third time, Manny Pacquiao is fighting Timothy Bradley. The Sarangani representative says the scheduled April 9 bout will not affect his work as a legislator. What work?

1C
Denied
The Sandiganbayan has junked detained senator Jinggoy Estrada’s petition for bail. Bong Revilla is asking Lani Mercado, his kids, and their supporters to pray harder.

Lucky
According to a feng shui expert, the luckiest animal signs this year are Rabbit, Snake and Rooster. The not-so-lucky are Tiger, Dog, and Jinggoy.
—————————————————————————————————————————————————
“Happiness is not in the mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort.”
~Franklin D. Roosevelt

Sound Bites
“Wherefore, the motion for bail filed by… Estrada is denied after finding that the prosecution presented a strong evidence of guilt against him.”
~Sandiganbayan Fifth Division denying Jinggoy’s petition for bail

In Memoriam
German ‘Kuya Germs’ Moreno (1943-2016)
1KG

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: German Moreno: GMA News





HELLO 2016!

1 01 2016

1NY
HAPPY NEW YEAR! It’s 2016! This will be an amazing year, I promise. Kapag ‘di ito naging amazing, magpapasagasa ako sa tren kasama sina President Aquino at Sec. Jun Abaya.

2015 is over. Can someone please check if those two officials are still alive? Thank you.

1NY
Apparently, on April 4, 2013, in a campaign sortie of Team PNoy in Cavite, President Aquino vowed to complete the LRT Line 1 Project (Baclaran to Bacoor) by 2015. He added, “’Pag hindi ho nangyari ito, nand’yan ho si Secretary Abaya na nangangasiwa ng proyektong ito, dalawa na kaming magpapasagasa siguro sa train.” Of course, he was just joking. What he really wanted to say was, “’Pag hindi ho nangyari ito, nand’yan ho si Secretary Abaya. Magpapasagasa siya sa tren.“

Resolutions
People usually make resolutions before they ring in the new year. Some vow to lose weight. Others promise to quit smoking. President Aquino promises to stop making promises.

Hopeful
Eighty-nine percent of Filipinos say they are welcoming 2016 with hope according to a Pulse Asia survey. The remaining 11 percent have gotten tired of saying the same thing every year.

In the same survey, 1 in 10 Filipinos said they were not sure whether they would face the coming year with or without hope. Those Filipinos were identified as staunch Grace Poe supporters.

1NY
Missing Tayag
Curiously, the likeable, dance-loving Health Assistant Secretary Dr. Eric Tayag did not produce a dance video to promote the department’s 2015 Iwas-Paputok campaign. In other news, the number of firecracker-related injuries this year is at an all-time low. Thank you Dr. Tayag for making a sacrifice!

Goodbye Philippines
In 2014, a drunk man identified as Ronald Vericio of Sta. Mesa, Manila reportedly tried to lie on a lit ‘Sinturon ni Hudas.’ He survived. Last night, New Year’s Eve, Vericio blew himself up by hugging a lit bomb-like firecracker called ‘Goodbye Philippines.’ He wasn’t as lucky this time. He died. A check on his high school year book revealed Vericio was voted by his classmates as “Most-likely to succeed as a suicide bomber.”

A drunk man died when he hugged a lit ‘Goodbye Philippines’ firecracker on New Year’s Eve. If it’s any consolation, he died doing what he loved most: hurting himself.

Ronald Vericio, a man from Manila died after hugging a lit ‘Goodbye Philippines’ firecracker. Before that, he has also tried to lie on a lit ‘Sinturon ni Hudas.’ Probers described Vericio as short, middle-aged, and clingy.

1Priest
The Priest
A priest in Biñan, Laguna was reportedly suspended after a video of him riding a “hoverboard” while officiating a Christmas Eve mass went viral. Fr. Albert San Jose has been ordered by his superiors to take a break from his duties. Nonetheless, Father San Jose vows to continue monitoring his parish using his newly-purchased drone.
——————————————————————————————————————————————————
“Do not wait until the conditions are perfect to begin. Beginning makes the conditions perfect.”
~Alan Cohen

Sound Bites
“May we all be inspired by Dr. Jose Rizal’s courage and intelligence, his sense of duty, hunger for knowledge, passion for reform, and undying love of country.”
~President Aquino. 12.30.2015

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: New Year Wishes.Com; Aquino/Abaya: Rappler; Tayag:GMA Network]





FOR SALE: PINOY FIRECRACKERS

27 12 2015

HERE’S A GUIDE to some of the more popular firecrackers being sold in the Philippines. Buy at your own risk.


Noynoy Firecracker
Sobrang mabenta ang paputok na ito nang unang ilabas sa market ngunit unti-unting inayawan ng publiko. Marami pa namang natitirang loyal buyers ngunit talagang malaki na ang ibinaba ng popularidad nito. May kabagalan kasi kung pumutok at hindi mo maramdaman ang sinseridad ng dulot nitong kasiyahan.

Binay Firecracker
Paborito sa mga probinsya. Hindi masyadong mabenta sa National Capital Region dahil alam ng mga taga-Metro Manila ang pinsalang kaya nitong idulot kapag sinindihan.

Grace Poe Firecracker
Ang firecracker na pinulot matapos ang putukan. Hindi sigurado ang pumulot kung puputok pa ito o hindi na. Huwag masyadong umasa dahil baka hindi na umubra, masasaktan ka lang. Pero try mo ring sindihan. Baka naman puputok pa. Let’s see.

Mar Firecracker
Kahit anong patalastas pa ang ipalabas tungkol sa firecracker na ito, hirap na hirap siyang ibenta ng manufacturer. Kapag hindi pa rin siya nabenta for 2016, baka tuluyan nang itigil ang pagbebenta rito.

Duterte Firecracker
Babala: Nakamamatay. Mabenta sa masa dahil malakas ang putok nito. Walang sinisino; lahat puwedeng talsikan ng pulbura: lalaki, babae, bata, matanda, o kahit Santo Papa ka pa.

Martin Diño Firecracker
Sorry, hindi pala ito firecracker. Pulbura lang pala. Nagkamali ng label ang manufacturer.

Miriam Firercacker
Ang paputok na pinakamabenta online.

Enrile Firecracker
Isang lumang brand ng paputok na inalis sa market noong 2014 dahil sa matinding pinsalang naidulot sa publiko. Ngunit dahil sa husay ng advertising firm na kinuha ng manufacturers nito, matagumpay itong nakabalik sa merkado. Babala: may kakayahan pa rin itong magdulot ng pinsala. Maging alerto.

Jun Abaya Firecracker
Brutally honest ang nakasulat sa pakete ng paputok na ito: “Nakasusugat. Pero hindi fatal. Bili na!”

Bong and Jinggoy Firecrackers
Hindi na available sa publiko ang dalawang uri ng paputok na ito. Iniutos na rin ang pag-aalis sa market dahil sa dulot nilang perwisyo. However, umaasa ang manufacturers ng mga paputok na ito na muli silang maibebenta kapag nagbago ng policy ang susunod na administrasyon. [Huwag naman sana.]

Militanteng Firecracker
May iba’t ibang tunog na maririnig kapag sinindihan mo ang paputok na ito. Pwede kang pumili sa tatlong sounds na ito: (1) Tutulan! (2) Ibasura! at (3) Ibagsak! Delikado ito lalo na kung ang magsisindi ay Amerikano.

Nancy Binay Firecracker
Hanggang ngayon, marami pa rin ang nagtataka kung paano napunta sa market ang paputok na ito. Nakisakay kasi ang manufacturer nito sa popularidad ng isa pang brand. Kapag bumili ka ng isang Binay Firecracker, isang Nancy Firecracker ang free.

Francis Tolentino Firecracker
Ang nagsasayaw na firecracker. Ngunit nang makasakit, inilaglag siya ng sariling manufacturer. Pamilya at malalapit na kaibigan na lang ang nagma-market sa kanya.

Alma Moreno Firecracker
Nag-a-aspire na makilala bilang reliable na brand ng paputok. Ngunit nang sindihan, wala palang kakwenta-kwenta. Walang spark, walang sound, puro usok.

Leni Robredo Firecracker
Isa sa pinakabagong brands ng paputok. Hindi pa masyadong kilala sa mga probinsya kaya mahina pa ang benta.

Marcos Firecracker
Ito naman ang isa sa pinakalumang brands. Marami nang nasugatan at namatay dahil sa firecracker na ito ngunit hanggang ngayon, ayaw pa ring mag-apologize ng manufacturer. Tuloy ang pagkamal ng kita.

INC Firecracker
Wala kang choice. Whether you like it or not, required kang bumili ng firecracker na ito.

Pia Wurtzbach Firecracker
Sa unang minuto matapos sindihan, wala pa itong reaksyon, iisipin mong palyado. After a while though, magsasabog na ito ng makulay at maliwanag na spark sa buong universe.

#AlDub Firecracker
Biglang sulpot sa market. Kinagat ng publiko. Inilampaso ang pinakamalakas na rival brand.

Kris Aquino Firecracker
Sinindihan mo siya, sumabog, nasira, pero natalsikan ka at nasugatan. Quits lang! Aha-ha-ha! Love! Love! Love!
———————————————————————————————————————————————–
“Tomorrow, is the first blank page of a 365 page book. Write a good one.”
~Brad Paisley

Happy New Year!

Sound Bites
“One always knew that with her, the truth was the benchmark of a journalist’s efforts; and that in all that she did, there was no higher cause than the country’s welfare and that of our people.”
~President Aquino on Inquirer Editor-in-Chief Letty Jimenez-Magsanoc who passed away on Christmas Eve

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.





THE PRESIDENT’S CHRISTMAS MESSAGE

24 12 2015

Christmas Message
of
His Excellency Benigno S. Aquino III
President of the Philippines
[Taped last December 20, 2015 at the Rizal Ceremonial Hall, Malacañan Palace]

seal2

Mga minamahal kong kababayan,

Kaisa n’yo po ako at ang aking Gabinete gayundin ang mga lingkod-bayan sa ating pamahalaan sa pagdiriwang ng Kapaskuhan.

Marami tayong pinagdaanan ngayong 2015 (lalo na ako) ngunit sa tulong ng Panginoon ay nalampasan nating lahat ang mga ito.

Ang kwento ng Pasko at ni Hesukristo ay hindi nalalayo sa karanasan nating mga Pilipino.

Iniutos ni Herodes ang pagpaslang sa mga inosente upang walang maging balakid sa kanyang maitim na balak. Halos ganito rin ang naganap sa Mamasapano noong Enero.

Sa isang sabsaban isinilang si Hesus ngunit mapalad pa rin siya dahil nakilala niya ang kanyang ina at ang kinalakhan niyang amang si Jose. Malinaw ring sa Betlehem siya ipinanganak. Tumakbo man siya sa pagkapangulo, walang puwedeng tumutol o humadlang. Ewan ko lang ang iba d’yan.

Mula pagsilang, namuhay nang payak si Hesus. Hanggang sa mamatay ay wala itong maituturing na materyal na yaman. Hindi katulad ng iba d’yan na habambuhay na sa puwesto kaya’t limpak-limpak ang naibulsa. Ang masamang gawain nila ay ipinagpapatuloy pa ng mga miyembro ng kanilang pamilya. Ang kakapal ng mukha.

Ang mga nagkakasala ay pinapatawad ni Hesus at binibigyan ng pagkakataong magbago. Pero sa lipunan natin ngayon, pinapanigan pa ng ilan ang mga lider na nagsusulong sa extrajudicial killing. Hindi ka pa man napapatunayang nagkasala, pinapatay ka na. Taliwas ito sa turo ni Hesus.

index

Si Hesus ay isa sa atin. Mababa ang loob niya at hindi mayabang. Wala siyang ipinagmamalaking diploma mula sa mga prestihiyosong unibersidad. Kailanman ay hindi niya ipinagyabang ang kanyang IQ. Kung nabubuhay siya ngayon, tiyak kong mas marami ang kanyang online followers kumpara sa isang kandidato sa pagkapangulo.

Ngayong Pasko, marapat lamang nating isabuhay at pahalagahan ang mga nagawa ni Hesus.

Sa huli, samahan n’yo po ako sa isang panalangin dahil hindi po nakakatuwa ang resulta ng latest surveys.

Nawa’y ang mga taong nasa panig ng kadiliman ay magising sa katotohanang hindi kailanman magtatagumpay ang kasamaan. To quote John 8:12 , “And Jesus said, I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.’

Mar my words! Mangingibabaw pa rin sa huli ang Tuwid na Daan.

Isang maligayang Pasko at masaganang bagong taon po sa inyong lahat!

Sumasainyo,
Benigno Simeon C. Aquino III





MISS UNIVERSE 2015 (Tamang Panahon)

22 12 2015

1PIA
AFTER 42 long years – and 42 seconds, the country has won the prestigious Miss Universe title again. Pia Alonzo Wurtzbach is the new queen. Since President Aquino assumed office in 2010, the country’s delegates to the Miss Universe pageant have consistently made it to the Top 5 or Top 10: Venus Raj, Shamcey Supsup, Janine Tugonon, Ariella Arida, MJ Lastimosa, and now, Pia Wurtzbach. President Aquino’s “record” is phenomenal. The next president has some big eyes to fill.

Reports say Vice President Binay described Pia Wurtzbach as “world class” – prompting Senators Trillanes and Alan Peter Cayetano to believe rumors that Pia’s long gown, shoes, and jewelry were overpriced.

1Card
For committing a huge mistake, pageant host Steve Harvey immediately apologized and took full responsibility for the mistake. As for the Marcoses…

Miss Universe 2015 Pia Wurtzbach was actually born in Germany. In other news, Rizalito David has started doing a background check on Wurtzbach.

The Top 5 finalists were grilled on significant issues such as drug abuse, gun control, military bases, medical marijuana, and terrorism – in the pageant’s Question and Answer portion. Or as Alma Moreno calls it, “my worst nightmare.”

1Card
When asked about the presence of US military bases in the country, Miss Philippines mentioned something about the good relations between the two nations and added, “I don’t see any problem with that at all.” According to reports, leftists were not pleased with Pia’s answer. Netizens say the reaction wasn’t surprising at all since leftists are not pleased with almost anything anyway.

Miss Colombia, Ariadna Arevalo Gutierrez, was asked: Drug abuse continues to be one of the world’s most serious social problems. What do you think is the best way to handle this issue? She answered: education in our homes. As expected, Mayor Duterte disagreed.

1Card
In the last round of competition, the Top 3 candidates, USA, Colombia, and the Philippines were asked the same question: Why should you be the next Miss Universe? Some Filipino politicians sent us the following answers:

Grace Poe: Ipagpapatuloy ko po ang nasimulan nina Gloria Diaz at Margie Moran.

Vice President Binay: Matagal ko na itong inaasam at pinaghahandaan. Sa mga candidates, ako rin ang may pinakamalawak na karanasan sa ganitong contest. Huwag kayong maniniwala sa mga basher. Wala akong ninakaw o itinagong make-up kit at sapatos ng ibang candidate. Paninira lang ang mga ‘yan.

Mar Roxas: Kapag nasagot ko nang maayos ang tanong na ‘to, sasampalin kita. Kung hindi, sampalin mo ako.

Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago: I believe that I have the support of the online community. Internet votes will propel me to victory. Besides, I am superior to all the other candidates – intellectually. I’ll definitely nail this question and answer portion.

Mayor Duterte: Wala akong pakialam kung manalo man ako o matalo. ‘Tang-i*a, pageant lang ‘yan!

Alma Moreno: Huh? Kailangan pa ba talagang itanong ‘yan?

New Leader
It has been announced that Vice President Binay topped the latest Pulse Asia survey on preferred candidates for president. Critics are hoping Steve Harvey was the one who made the announcement.

1Card
Reality Bites
Earlier this year, President Aquino went out on a date with Pia Wurtzbach. And that was it. The other day, Kris Aquino told some reporters, “I don’t think she liked Noy.” I don’t think we should be surprised at all.
——————————————————————————————————————————————–
“I wanna show the universe that I am confidently beautiful with a heart.”
~Miss Universe 2015 Pia Wurtzbach

Sound Bites
“I don’t want to run for the Senate because I can’t answer the questions you asked Alma Moreno.”
~Annabelle Rama to Karen Davila

Burn!
One of the most RTd Miss Universe-related tweets was posted by singer-comedienne Ethel Booba, a response to Bayan Muna’s Teddy Casiño’s reaction to Pia’s answer in the Q&A round
1Card

Congratulations Philippines! Finally!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: MissUniverse.com, Pia Wurtzbach:IG]








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