THE REWARD

Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte offers reward to a group of teenage boys who saved his life.

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PLAYFUL (MY FOOT)

Palace spokesman Harry Roque says the “foremost priority” of the Duterte administration right now is “fighting inflation.” In case you’re not aware, inflation was arrested last week on rehashed rebellion charges but was released after posting bail.

This article was first published by the Philippine Daily Inquirer on Sept. 30, 2018.

In a speech in Malacañang, President Duterte admitted, “My only sin is extrajudicial killings.” And then he said, “I’m not under oath, am I?”

Defending Duterte’s statement, Chief Presidential Legal Counsel Salvador Panelo said, “He’s Bisaya.” PNP Chief Oscar Albayalde said it was uttered “because of frustration” while former senator Juan Ponce Enrile insisted, “Only one was killed and none was arrested in Duterte’s war on drugs.”

Everyone expected palace spokesman Harry Roque to say that President Duterte was just joking. But in a radio interview, Roque said the President was just being “playful.” And then he went on to thank his friend who gave him a new thesaurus on his last birthday.

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According to President Duterte, drug dependents were to blame for the country’s rice crisis. In a joint statement, Agriculture and NFA officials denied they were drug dependents.

President Duterte joked that recovering drug dependents, whom he described as “mga ulol” (crazed) were to blame for the country’s rice crisis because they have started eating again. Recovering drug dependents then expressed alarm when Duterte added, “I will appoint Ozamiz City Police Chief Jovie Espenido to the NFA.”

I just noticed there’s Duterte, a joke, drug dependent, and ulol in one sentence. Apologies for the redundancy.

In his next speech, the President will try to figure out a way to blame the peso’s slump on drug addicts.

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Palace spokesman Harry Roque says the “foremost priority” of the Duterte administration right now is “fighting inflation.” In case you’re not aware, inflation was arrested last week on rehashed rebellion charges but was released after posting bail.

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Solicitor General Jose Calida has threatened to file a libel complaint against Sen. Antonio Trillanes IV if the senator “doesn’t express his sincere apology” for accusing him of stealing his amnesty application documents. Calida insists he is not a thief. Is he being playful too?

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Last September 12, President Duterte revealed an alleged plot to oust him on Sept. 21. Nothing happened. This week, the military said there was a plot to bring down Duterte in October (calling it ‘Red October’) and another in November and one more in December. So far, two “leaders” of the alleged plot to eliminate Duterte are being monitored. They were identified as Buerger and Barrett.

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Former senate president Aquilino Pimentel Jr. advised Communications Assistant Sec. Mocha Uson to stop meddling in the government’s federalism campaign and go back to showbiz instead. In response, ‘showbiz’ said, “We already have Robin Padilla. We can only take so much.”

Sources told Inquirer Lifestyle editor Lito Zulueta that Mocha Uson would resign from the Presidential Communications Operations Office “anytime soon.” Mocha has yet to inform her boss about her decision but she’s confident Bongbong Marcos will understand.

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Chinese-backed Maldivian President Abdulla Yameen, the tyrannical leader who jailed political rivals on dubious charges lost his re-election bid earlier this week. Yameen appeared on television to concede. He was flanked by his two sons, Baste Yameen and Pulong Yameen.
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“A guilty conscience needs no accuser.”
~Anonymous

Sound Bites
“Extraordinary statement by a Head of State (and we have had many this week at the UN): my ‘only’ sin is #EJK. Translation: my only sin is imposing unthinkable sufferings on 1000s of vulnerable families, emboldening corrupt policing, destroying rule of law.”
~Agnes Callamard, United Nations special rapporteur

Truth.

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever8

THE MASK

It’s still several weeks ‘til Halloween but on his TV appearances…

This article was first published in the Opinion Page of the Philippine Daily Inquirer last Sept. 16, 2018.

THEMASK

IN HIS RECENT tête-à-tête with Chief Presidential Legal Counsel Salvador Panelo, President Duterte mentioned the name of Senator Trillanes at least 20 times. And that could be a problem. The last time he uttered someone else’s name that much, his wife filed for annulment.

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Critics described President Duterte’s behavior during his talk with Panelo as “childish” and “immature.” Duterte lashed back at them threatening repeatedly to “tell Mom.”

____________

A couple of days back, President Duterte presided over a command conference for typhoon Ompong. It was great to see someone on top of something he’s really good at: disasters.

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It’s still several weeks ‘til Halloween but on his TV appearances, we can notice President Duterte is already wearing a mask.

When asked about the status of his health, the President talked about Jose Maria Sison, the Magdalo Group, and the alleged conspiracy to oust him. He’s not well, obviously.

Here’s another pre-Halloween joke for you. Two guys (who do not know each other) wearing identical Bongbong Marcos masks walk into a Halloween costume party. One of the guys says, “Well, this is awkward. We can’t be both losers tonight.”

____________

Defense Sec. Delfin Lorenzana admitted it was Solicitor General Jose Calida who called him on August 16 “to get the amnesty records” of Sen. Antonio Trillanes IV. Fifteen days later, President Duterte would claim Trillanes’s amnesty records were missing. Remember the saying, “Never judge a book by its cover?” Not all the time.

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For helping authorities detect shabu in the magnetic lifters found in a warehouse in Cavite, a 6-year-old dog named ‘Odel’ was awarded a ‘Medalya ng Papuri’ by the Philippine Drug Enforcement Agency. The President has earlier dismissed the P6.8B shabu shipment as “pure speculation.” Solicitor General Jose Calida has started his inquiry into Odel’s training records.

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According to Gallup’s annual Global Emotions Report, 2017 was the world’s most miserable year in more than a decade. People experienced worry, physical pain, sadness, stress, and anger. Or as that’s called in the Philippines, the five stages of Duterte’s War on Drugs.

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The Department of Justice is offering a reward of P500,000 for information leading to the arrest of alleged-big time drug lord, Peter Lim. Even Peter Lim was like, “Five hundred thousand??? Do you want me arrested or not?”

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Here’s a bad news: There have been reports that some witnesses against Andal Ampatuan Jr. have recanted their testimonies. Harry Roque, a former counsel of some Maguindanao massacre victims, is upset. He couldn’t believe that witnesses would just abandon the side of truth in exchange for something. To which, those witnesses replied, “Look who’s talking.”
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“Sorry to hear your body is as sick as your mind.”
~Anonymous

Sound Bites
“There is an evolving story sa Itogon, Barangay Ucab… 43 persons doon, nag-collapse ‘yung church… Kaya nga ito eh, alam mo Sir sa totoo lang, kung pinalitan niyo ‘yung pari diyan, ‘di magbagsak ‘yan. Bobo kasi itong mga pari, p*tang*na!”
~Rodrigo Duterte

Classy.

I am STILL on Twitter: @hecklerforever8

Photo: via the DA Secretary

TÊTÊ-À-TÊTÊ: WHEN TWO DICKS TALK

“What a sad, tragic, and unfortunate misuse of the national attention.”

WHEN TWO DICKS talk, is that a tête-à-tête? Asking for a friend.

In case you missed it, here are some excerpts from President Duterte’s one-and-a-half-hour tête-à-tête with Chief Presidential Legal Counsel Salvador Panelo last September 11, 2018.

ON RICE SHORTAGE
_____________________

ON BUKBOK RICE
_____________________

ON INFLATION
_____________________

ON OPH EXCHANGE RATE
_____________________

ON BONG GO
_____________________

ON K9
_____________________

ON AMNESTY
_____________________

ON SEPT 21

_____________________

ON BAR
_____________________

ON HEALTH
_____________________

FINAL MESSAGE
____________________________________________________________________________________
“An obsession with control generally seems to reflect a fear of uncertainty.”
~Henry Mintberg

Sound Bites
“What a sad, tragic, and unfortunate misuse of the national attention.”
~Former Solicitor General Florin Hilbay on Duterte’s têtê-à-têtê with Panelo

Indeed.

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever8

[Photos: Philippine Star; RTVM Screen Grab]

DUTERTE TO TRILLANES: GAGO!

Pero kung sabihin n’yo, “political persecution,” gago! Nasa Israel nga ako, ba’t ako pagbintangan n’yo?

OFFICIAL STATEMENT
OF
PRESIDENT RODRIGO DUTERTE
On the revocation of Senator Trillanes’s amnesty

Una, pasalamat muna ako sa gobyerno ng Israel sa mainit na pagtanggap sa akin. Akala ko nga bugbugin na ako ng mga Israeli dahil sa Hitler jokes ko. Mababait naman pala. Buti pa sila nakaintindi ng Hitler at rape jokes ko. ‘Tong mga Pinoy, sila pa ‘tong napaka-sensitive. Pisti!

Maraming tumawag sa akin at nagtanong tungkol sa nangyayari sa Pilipinas. ‘Di ako pinatulog ng mga yawa. Walang hinto ang text at tawag. ‘Di ko nga sinagot. Alam n’yong nagtrabaho ako dito sa Israel ‘tapos abalahin n’yo ako mga putang ina n’yo. Pati ba naman si Trillanes, prublimahin ko pa? But since you asked, ganito ‘yan. Wala na akong pakialam sa gagong ‘yan. Ayaw ko na ngang pansinin ‘yan.

Hindi ko naman alam, nilakad pala ni Calida ‘yung amnesty-amnesty nung gago. Eh anong magawa ko kung magtrabaho ‘yung tao ko? Pigilan ko ba? Nang papirmahan sa akin ang dokumento, ‘di ko binasa dahil masakit ang t’yan ko. Malay ko bang ‘yun pala ang laman nun.

Pero kung sabihin n’yo, “political persecution,” gago! Nasa Israel nga ako, ba’t ako pagbintangan n’yo? Ba’t ‘di n’yo tanungin si Calida?

Tapos isisi n’yo rin sa akin ang inflation rate. Tarantado. Kausap ko ang prisidinti sa Israel, ako sisihin n’yo sa presyo ng bilihin d’yan?!

Balikan ko lang ‘yung gago, kung walang basehan ang pag-revoke ng amnesty kay Trillanes, go to court. Any court! ‘Di ka urungan ng mga abogado ko.

I REPEAT: this is not political persecution. My government will not go after my political opponents without legal basis!

Kay Trillanes, akala ko ba matapang ka? Sinugod mo ang Oakwood; sinugod mo ang Manila Peninsula; binasag mo ang mga pasô at salamin, binulabog mo ang mga guests, tarantado ka. Tapos ngayon, nagtago ka d’yan sa Senado. Gago!

Lastly, ‘pasalamat nga pala ako kay Robin Padilla. Alam n’yo, kung gusto n’yo ng totoong matapang na senador, ‘yan ang iboto n’yo sa sunod na eleksyon. Tama ang ginawa n’ya dahil the law allows citizen’s arrest! Pwede niyang arestuhin si Trillanes. Wala mang pipiligil sa kanya. Guwapo eh. Sus, baka nga pa-rape pa sa kanya ang mga babae at bakla d’yan sa Senado. Pilahan man siya. Suportahan natin si Robin.

Again, this preposterous allegation of political persecution has no basis. I call on my supporters to reject this narrative of the Dilawan. Pastilan!

Ito, hindi joke. Na-miss ko kayong lahat. Pabalik na ako galing Israel. Stay lang kami ng isa pang araw dahil namasyal pa ang mga kasama ko. See you soon.

Mabuhay ang sambayang Pilipino! Daghang salamat.

——-
Photo: Inquirer.net
Twitter: @hecklerforever8

DELIVER US FROM WEEVIL

In his regular press conference, presidential spokesperson Harry Roque calmly appealed to alleged big-time drug lord Peter Lim to “PLEASE surrender.” In response, Peter Lim told Roque, “PLEASE don’t be too obvious.”

This article first appeared in the Philippine Daily Inquirer on Sept. 2, 2018.

It’s September – the start of the long Christmas season for many Filipinos – except for Teresita Leonardo-De Castro who got her Christmas gift a week earlier. Merry Christmas!

Newly-installed Supreme Court Chief Justice Teresita Leonardo-De Castro defends her appointment to the SC’s highest post saying President Duterte doesn’t know her personally. She adds, “I don’t think the President would do anything that will impair the independence of the judiciary.” Apparently, she doesn’t know Duterte personally.

* * * * *

The Department of Agriculture has approved the importation of 17,000 metric tons of galunggong (round scad) from China starting this month. Agriculture Sec. Emmanuel Piñol will personally supervise the importation. In fact, when the galunggongs arrive in our ports, Piñol will be the one holding the “Welcome back!” banner.

Claiming it would address the rice shortage in Zamboanga, Basilan, Tawi-tawi and Sulu, Agriculture Secretary Emmanuel Piñol has proposed to legalize rice smuggling. Even rice smugglers were like, “No, thanks. We’re doing just fine.”

Still on Piñol, the Secretary downplayed reports that imported rice from Thailand were infested with weevils or bukbok, a type of beetle. He said, “Serve me bukbok rice, I will eat it.” In the interest of fairness, let’s ask the bukbok if they’re willing to be served to Piñol.

* * * * *

Change has come indeed. The Philippines now imports galunggong; a top government official openly supports rice smuggling, and recently, the University of the Philippines has become the newest party venue for Marcos loyalists.

* * * * *

A group of young men from Malabon City got into trouble when a video they created in 2016 surfaced and became viral. In the video, the men are smoking pot and cursing at President Duterte. Are you guys insane? Never ever do those things again. Never smoke pot, and never record yourselves cursing at the President!

Alleged big time drug lord Peter Lim was a no-show at his arraignment in Makati City for drug conspiracy charges. The police have yet to locate and arrest him. Let’s hope he creates a video cursing at the President, too.

In his regular press conference, presidential spokesperson Harry Roque calmly appealed to alleged big-time drug lord Peter Lim to “PLEASE surrender.” In response, Peter Lim told Roque, “PLEASE don’t be too obvious.”

* * * * *

In a Congressional hearing last Thursday, Philippine Drug Enforcement Agency chief Aaron Aquino insisted the four magnetic filters found in Cavite last month contained shabu. Siding with the Bureau of Customs (BOC) though, President Duterte had previously dismissed the claim as “pure speculation.” But Aquino would rather believe PDEA’s K-9 unit. The dogs which “responded twice” during the inspection could detect scents 10,000 times better than humans. In fact, rumors say, when the K-9 unit heard about the statements of the BOC and the President, the dogs detected cover-up.

* * * * *

President Duterte claims the CIA is listening to his conversations, and is plotting to kill him. As a precautionary measure, Duterte will now avoid his regular conversations… with himself.

* * * * *

Reports say Russian trolls and bots spread misinformation on vaccine safety in the US to sow public discord. The report has prompted PAO Chief Persida Acosta to issue a statement denying she’s Russian.

* * * * *

Quezon City Rep. Vincent “Bingbong” Crisologo filed a case against his driver who allegedly stole the P200,000 cash he entrusted to him for safekeeping. The suspected thief is medium-built, soft-spoken, and looks up to congressmen as role models.

* * * * *

For several days now, PCOO Assistant Secretary Mocha Uson has not committed any blunder on social media. This is alarming. To Mocha’s followers, please pray for her.

* * * * *

Whenever I see Kris Aquino’s photos on social media these days, I am reminded of the film ‘Crazy Rich Asians.’ Whenever I see President Duterte’s close-up photos on social media these days, I am reminded of the film, ‘Fifty Shades of Gray.” Please pray for him, too.
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“All cruelty springs from weakness.”
~Seneca

Sound Bites
“Instead of continuing to glorify a dictator who stole billions from our country, drove the nation into debt, and presided over the murder and imprisonment of thousands of Filipinos, he can work on truly unifying the nation, and assuring our people, especially those at the fringes, that their voices are being heard and that their daily suffering will soon be eased.”
~Vice President Leni Robredo

Exactly.

Twitter: @Hecklerforever8

EXCLUSIVE! CHIEF JUSTICE, RUMESBAK

Ang daming nega. Ang daming inggitera. Ang daming bashers. ‘Yung isa nga, muntik ko nang replyan, “Ganda ka ‘teh?”

OFFICIAL STATEMENT
Chief Justice
Supreme Court of the Philippines

SABADO, August 25. Magtatanghali noon.

Nasa fruits and vegetables section ako sa supermarket nang matanggap ko ang isang text message. Ang sabi:

AAAUwian Na

Hindi ko na-gets ang message ni Mareng Gloria kaya nag-reply ako.

AAAUwian Na2

At sumagot naman siya:

AAAUwian Na3

Napatalon ako sa labis na tuwa. Naitulak ko tuloy nang ‘di sinasadya ang push cart at nabunggo nito ang kalapit na table. Nahulog ang dalawang pirasong ampalaya. Tse! Pati ba naman dito may hater!

Nagsunud-sunod na ang tawag at text sa akin. To cut a long story short, hindi na ako namili. Umuwi na lang ako. Hindi ko kinaya ang moment na ‘yun. Iba! On my way home, nag-log in ako sa Twitter using my secret account. Bahala na kayong humula kung ano ang Twitter handle ko. Basta ang clue, active na active ako. ‘Di n’yo lang alam na ako ‘yun.

Pero pingsisihan ko ang paggamit ng Twitter nang araw na iyon. Grabe! Ang daming nega. Ang daming inggitera. Ang daming bashers. ‘Yung isa nga, muntik ko nang replyan, “Ganda ka ‘teh?” Kaya lang baka mag-boomerang. ‘Wag na lang.

Pero dahil sa walang tigil na batikos sa akin, nagpasya akong maglabas na lang ng maikling pahayag para maipagtanggol ko naman ang aking sarili. Ito na nga ‘yun.

Sabi nila, ambisyosa at ganid daw ako sa kapangyarihan. Excuse me! Hindi ako ambisyosa.

Sabi nila, shameless at bitter daw ako. Excuse me! Hindi ako shameless!

Sabi nila, wala raw akong integridad at wala ring delicadeza! Excuse me again! Meron akong integridad.

Sabi nila, tuta raw ako ni Duterte at gagamitin ni Bongbong para maging bise presidente! Excuse me! Hindi ako tuta ni Duterte.

At ang hindi ko talaga matanggap, ‘yung sabihin nilang, “Pangit ka na nga, pangit pa ang ugali mo.” Excuse me! EXCUUUUSE ME! Basta.

Sa aking kaarawan sa Oktubre ay magreretiro na rin ako. Sa madaling salita, apatnapu’t isang araw lang akong mauupo bilang Chief Justice. Pero wala sa ikli o haba ng termino ‘yan. Kung desidido kang wasakin, I mean, paglingkuran ang bansa mo, magagawa mo ‘yan sa panahong ipinagkaloob sa ‘yo ng Panginoon.

Nabanggit ko na rin lang ang Panginoon, nagpapasalamat ako kay Pangulong Duterte sa kanyang pagtitiwala sa akin. Hindi ko po kayo bibiguin. #AlamNa

Kay Maria Lourdes Sereno, HA HA HA. Move on ka na ‘day.

At sa aking mga kritiko na walang tigil sa pamba-bash sa akin, sino ngayon ang bitter sa atin? Ako pa rin?

EXCUSE ME!
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“It came to me. My own. My love. My own. My precious. We swears to serve the master of the precious. We will swear on the…on the precious.”
~Gollum, ‘The Lord of the Rings Trilogy’

Sound Bites
“We continue to suffer from the consequences of the legacy of evil that your father left behind. And it did not help that your family preserved his body. It only made us even more committed to never forget what had happened to our family members, our friends and our colleagues. Pray tell me, Imee, how can we move on?”
~Rufa Guiam, An Open Letter to Imee

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever8.

IMEE, MOVING ON AND MILLENNIALS

“Ibalik n’yo ang nakulimbat n’yo baka sakaling mag-move on kami.”

THE LATE PHILIPPINE dictator Ferdinand Marcos amassed up to 10 billion dollars while in office. During martial law, some 34,000 were tortured, more than 3,000 were killed, and almost 400 disappeared never to be seen again. The Marcoses never apologized for the atrocities of the regime. There have been reports they’re willing to return a “portion” of their ill-gotten wealth but this too turned out to be BS.

Earlier this week, Imee Marcos, the dictator’s daughter, was quoted to have said, “The millennials have moved on, and I think people at my age should also move on as well.”

Thinking Filipino millennials have spoken via social media. Here are some of their responses via Twitter.

1Chewbacca

1CommissionSurvey

1Boyfriend

1Bruha

1Chuckie

1Crimes

1Crush

1Destroyed

1DiGets

1Docu

1DontUs

1ExLang

1Fabricated

1Gaga

1HarryPotter

1HowBad

1Hugot

1Jeggings

1Killer

1Kinulimbat

1Manggago

1Narrative

1SomethingThere

1Suffer

1Tae

1Tanga

1Tapyas

1Tonta
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“Win or lose, we go shopping after the election.”
~Imelda Marcos

Sound Bites
“Only in the Philippines could a leader like Ferdinand Marcos, who pillaged his country for over 20 years, still be considered for a national burial. Insignificant amounts of the loot have been recovered, yet his wife and children were allowed to return and engage in politics.”
~Lee Kwan Yew, former Prime Minister of Singapore

Amen.

I am still on Twitter: @hecklerforever8

LIGHT BULB JOKES 2018

Q: How many Kris Aquinos does it take to change a light bulb?

This article first appeared in the Opinion Page of the Philippine Daily Inquirer on August 18, 2018.

Q: How many Rodrigo Dutertes does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it and one to curse the darkness.

Q: How many Rodrigo Dutertes does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. The report about the burnt out bulb is “pure speculation.”

Q: How many members of the Duterte administration does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five:
1. One to announce that the light bulb needs to be changed;
2. One to create a controversial viral dance video about it;
3. One to blame ‘dilawans” for the old bulb burning out;
4. One to buy a new bulb from China, and
5. One to publish a fake news article titled, “Duterte voted best electrician in the solar system”

Q: How many Antonio Trillaneses does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it and one to initiate a probe into the possible involvement of President Duterte in the old light bulb’s ‘death.’

Q: How many Ben Tulfos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One. But he’ll demand P60 million for doing the task.

Q: How many Wanda Teo-Tulfos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to go shopping for a new bulb and one to change it.

Q: How many Richard Gordons does it take to change light bulb?
A: Only one. He holds the bulb in place and enjoys the moment as the world revolves around him.

Q: How many Alan Peter Cayetanos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one, but he follows the step by step instructions of the Chinese.

Q: How many big time drug lords does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to smuggle the new light bulb and one to meet with the president to deny he was the supplier of the burnt out bulb.

Q: How many Gloria Macapagal-Arroyos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: At least three. The ceiling is too high.

Q: How many Sara Dutertes does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. But she’ll make some calls to make sure the old bulb is replaced.

Q: How many minority bloc members in the Lower House does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Which minority bloc?

Q: How many economic managers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one, but he’ll insist on raising taxes to collect funds to buy a new bulb.

Q: How many ‘dilawans’ does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Thousands to chant, “Tama na! Sira na! Palitan na!” and one to replace it.

Q: How many BBM media influencers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: How many can you afford?

Q: How many Persida Acostas does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it and one to call a press conference to present the burnt-out bulb.

Q: How many Manny Pacquiaos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. Light bulbs are not mentioned in the Bible.

Q: How many millennials does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it and one to record it live on Instagram.

Q: How many Mocha Usons does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Are you sure you want her to do the job?

Q: How many Kris Aquinos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it and one to record the moment for the whole world to see.

Q: How many Alma Morenos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. Dasal lang, dasal lang talaga.

Q: How many Tito Sottos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: (The punchline has been taken down upon the request of the senator.)

Q: How many Presidential Communications Operations Office copywriters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Tree.
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“Facts are threatening to those invested in fraud.”
~DaShanne Stokes

Sound Bites
“Woe to you who drive the poor victims of drugs more deeply into poverty and misery! You who neither respect human rights nor human lives. You who trample on people’s dignity because they are poor and are unable to defend themselves!”
~Caloocan Bishop Pablo Virgilio David on the occasion of the first murder anniversary of Kian Lloyd De Los Santos

Indeed.

I still am on Twitter: @hecklerforever8

#NasaanSiDuterte AND OTHER STORIES

Q: What do President Duterte and the 7-billion-peso shabu shipment have in common?

Answer:

A_1Shabu Filters-Rappler
A TON of shabu worth about 7 billion pesos was recently smuggled into the Philippines from Taiwan and China. Authorities couldn’t believe the boldness of the smugglers. The smugglers couldn’t believe the friendliness of this government.

The news came out last week but President Duterte has yet to speak about, much less, against the multibillion-peso shabu shipment. That’s natural though when you don’t want to offend friends.

Empty magnetic lifters which contained hundreds of kilos of shabu were traced in a warehouse in Cavite. Caviteños are hereby encouraged to ignore any advice that will come from Vice Gov. Jolo Revilla.

The Presidential Anti-Corruption Commission is investigating reports Customs people had conspired with the smugglers of the P7-B drug shipment. The PACC will not rush to judgment though. It vows to exercise fairness and follow this government’s procedure in handling corrupt officials: 1: Investigate 2: File a case 3: Dismiss case 4: Reappoint.

#NasaanSiDuterte
Amid the latest calamity to hit the metro, the hashtag #NasaanSiDuterte trended on Twitter on Sunday. Netizens have been asking about President Duterte’s whereabouts. Since Thursday, not much has been heard from him – which is probably the best thing that ever happened in recent weeks.

1MarikinaABSCBN News.jpg

Q: What do President Duterte and the 7-billion-peso shabu shipment have in common?
A: Both are missing.

Thinkers
Finance Chief Carlos Dominguez III and Socioeconomic Planning Secretary Ernesto Pernia have both spoken against the proposed shift to the federal system of government. Dominguez and Pernia are both economic managers. They are both trusted men of Duterte. And both are gonna be jobless soon (probably).

Palace spokesman Harry Roque was quoted to have said, “I think there’s a 100 percent agreement that we’re (Cabinet) pushing for federalism.” Now that’s a shocker. Harry Roque “thinks?!”

1HunSen
Fake News
Someone hacked into the official Facebook page of Cambodian Prime Minister Hun Sen and posted fake information. Poor hackers! In the Philippines, people are even paid to post fake information on, about and for the President.

Social Media
A neuroscientist says social media is making people behave like three-year-olds. Duterte is not into social media. So, how do you explain his behavior?

Duterte Update:
It took a while before he reacted to the #NasaanSiDuterte question but Epal King, Bong Go told the media the President was “monitoring” the situation from Davao and Malacañang. “No worries. We’re fine,” replied the smugglers of the P7-B shabu shipment.
—————————————————————————————————————————-
“People are dying because of ignorance. They are dying because unremitting propaganda is denying them essential safety information. They are dying because the first casualty of war is truth, and the war on drugs is no different.”
~Dominic Milton Trott

Sound Bites
From forensic pathologist Raquel Fortun (Twitter):
1RFortun

Indeed!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: Shabu Filters: Ben Nabong/Rappler; Fernando G. Sepe Jr., ABS-CBN News]