House Speaker Jose De Venecia urged Cong. Herminio Teves and son, Finance Sec. Margarito Teves to identify extortionist solons who demanded favors in exchange for the younger Teves’ confirmation. Wait. Extortionist solons? Isn’t that redundant?
Outgoing Surigao Del Sur Rep. Prospero Pichay, a member of the powerful Commission on Appointments, categorically denied that congressmen-members of the CA are extortionists. Other CA members opted to keep mum on the issue last week. But rumors say they are willing to face the media very soon – on one condition: bayad muna.
Senator Aquilino Pimentel warns of electoral disaster if Maguindanao votes are counted. By electoral disaster, he means “personal electoral disaster” because counting the votes of Maguindanaoans will deprive his son Koko the rare chance of joining him in the senate.
Wyeth Philippines has published in several newspapers the list of milk brands covered by the Bureau of Food and Drugs’ recall order. Internally, Wyeth is also busy finalizing the list of officers and employees who will be jobless soon following this milk mess.
Postscript to an Outburst
My SmartBro nightmare continued over the weekend. Last Saturday, my connection was disrupted twice. Yesterday (Sunday) four SmartBro customer service reps had to endure a buttf*cking sort of experience as I unleashed my frustration over the company’s mediocre service. Nope, I wasn’t mad. I was furious!
Here’s a sample transcript of the phone conversations. (And what I wanted to say but couldn’’t.)
SmartBro: Customer care hotline, this is Miss Invectives Absorber how may I help you?
Heckler: (Of course you cannot help me!) This is Mr. Vesuvius of Makati – again! My service reference number is blah-blah-blah.
SmartBro: Thanks for that info. What’s your concern sir?
Heckler: (Ah, nothing much. I just wanted to congratulate you and your colleagues there at the SmartBro Hotline Center because SmartBro has a f*cked up service thereby assuring you of a job as calls from irate subscribers will surely flood your lines!) My connection is disrupted – again! This is the fifth time it happened in six days and this is my third call today. Chances are you will tell me that there’s a technical problem at the base station.
SmartBro: Kindly hold on sir, I’ll just check your account.
Heckler: Sure. (As if I had a choice!)
SmartBro: Thank you for waiting. I’m sorry sir but there’s a technical problem at the base station. Kindly monitor your connection in 24 to 48 hours.
Heckler: [Of course, I expected you to say that! Come on, can’t you be more novel with your excuse? Your technical group has been fixing that freakin’ base station for weeks. Wala na bang katapusan ‘yan!) Ah ok! Thanks anyway.
Well, guess what. It would have been more helpful if Mr & Ms SmartBro customer service rep gave a more creative justification for their inefficient service. That could have somehow eased my frustration. I was thinking of the following:
Top 5 Things to Tell An Irate SmartBro Subscriber If You Were A Customer Service Representative
5: “I won’t say sorry for our poor service Mr. Vesuvius. Lest you forget, SmartBro didn’t force you to be a subscriber. So stop whining or I’ll kick your dumb ass off this planet!”
4: “I’m sorry sir. But here’s a suggestion: why not try Globe Broadband? That’s the essence of competition and a deregulated telecoms industry, right?”
3: “I’m sorry sir but we’re just being consistent. Get used to it!”
2: “I’m sorry sir but our big boss, Manny Pangilinan is so preoccupied with his favorite pastime – basketball and basketball players. He doesn’t have that much time to check on the efficiency of SmartBro’s service. And he doesn’t really care if the people behind SmartBro are actually doing something to address the problem of poor service. Ang mahalaga, makapasok sa PBA finals ang Talk N’ Text.”
And the top thing to tell an irate SmartBro subscriber if you were a customer service representative:
1: “Sir, I know you’re frustrated with our service. And I am sincerely sorry for that. If you want, I can offer my personal service. Care to trade digits? Here’s mine: 0910-675-BLOW.”